FanDuel - WFBC

December 01, 2009

Tiger Woods Fined $164 for Careless Driving: The Florida Highway Patrol has issued a careless driving citation to Tiger Woods over the Friday night front yard fire hydrant crash heard 'round the world. The agency will not seek search warrants for his medical records, will not pursue criminal charges and said that no one involved has made claims of domestic violence, which suggests that the massive gossip tsunami of the past four days was completely bogus. However, at least it resulted in this glorious Grand Theft Auto-style Chinese news re-enactment.

posted by rcade to golf at 04:01 PM - 157 comments

All speculative news should be presented in this format. True or not, I find it more believable than what may or may not have actually transpired. What would have been really cool is if Mr. T had thrown a Mohawk Grenade at both of them while they were awaiting the police and medical assistance.

All hail video game reality substituting for actuality.

posted by THX-1138 at 04:08 PM on December 01

老婆破窗救夫 疑點重

I think that means, bitchin' re-enactment! It tells me it means:

"Woods Apple moving the broken windows at night to save his wife crash shady husband"

That sounds about right.

posted by tselson at 04:12 PM on December 01

Awesome. I was all like "Cast a Shield spell!! Oh damn, 5 wood - Teleport! TELEPORT!!"

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 04:15 PM on December 01

That re-enactment video is outstanding. From the CNN article:

"Mr. Woods' status in no way impacted our investigation or conclusion," Williams said. "The investigation has determined that Mr. Woods is at fault in the crash."

I just want to see a chinese re-enactment where the hydrant is at fault, attacking Woods' car before his supermodel wife battles it with a seven-iron.

posted by dfleming at 04:40 PM on December 01

All right, so Tiger said it was a crash and it was his fault.

The police, by issuing this ticket, now confirm that they believe it was a crash and it was Woods' fault.

Can we go back to ignoring him when he's not playing golf or in a commercial?

posted by Joey Michaels at 04:53 PM on December 01

Also, the enactment is the best thing on the Internet ever.

posted by Joey Michaels at 04:53 PM on December 01

I think the reenactment is pretty believable. I'd like to see one where she actually whacks him in the head and he crashes because he is woozy. Former mistresses seem to be coming out of the woodwork for Tiger.

posted by bperk at 04:56 PM on December 01

I hope Tiger can afford that fine.

(I'd guess he made that amount of money in less time than it took me to type that.)

posted by TheQatarian at 04:57 PM on December 01

Bustin' I hope Tiger can afford that fine

3 Nights with a skank ... $5,500 2 Attorneys blowin' smoke ... $15,000 1 Well Negotiated Pre-Nup ... Priceless !

posted by cixelsyd at 05:19 PM on December 01

I think the reenactment is pretty believable.

Except where they made Tiger look like Willis from Different Strokes. And the game aspect is a little off. To morph from an 09 Escalade to a 1994 Plymouth Voyager just by hitting a tree and hydrant is a bug.

But Jesus, the bitch running with a 7 iron in a crazed jealous rage is spot on.

posted by smithnyiu at 05:25 PM on December 01

glorious Grand Theft Auto-style Chinese news re-enactment.

Eat your heart out, NBC, CBS, ABC and all the other TV news outlets. This could be the next great thing in news.

posted by Howard_T at 05:40 PM on December 01

You know, I take back my snarky comment about the coverage of this non-event. If the media frenzy is what was required to inspire the digital recreation of the event, then it was all worth it.

posted by Joey Michaels at 05:42 PM on December 01

The driving sequences look like someone videotaped me playing Need for Speed Most Wanted...

posted by MeatSaber at 07:00 PM on December 01

That was awesome...I agree, all speculative domestic cases (reported or not) should be solved this way.

posted by dviking at 07:32 PM on December 01

Fantastic. Do they do requests? 'Cause I would seriously stab the shit out of two white people to see them do OJ.

posted by Ufez Jones at 08:47 PM on December 01

umm. wow, that seems a bit extreme don't you think?

posted by dviking at 09:33 PM on December 01

The driving sequences look like someone videotaped me playing Need for Speed Most Wanted...

Great game. Taught me some valuable driving lessons such as if you slam into a brick wall at 150MPH it is no problem to change gears, back up, and then continue driving.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 10:19 PM on December 01

Woods is no longer the story - we're looking at the future of television news, people. Awesome link, rcade.

posted by JJ at 03:52 AM on December 02

Reenactments, gossip, speculation, etc. The only things I'm taking from this entire mess are:

1. If you ever have to run errands at 2:30 in the morning, remember to wear shoes.

2. Marry a courageous woman who has the ability to think quickly, grab a blunt instrument, and smash out windows of a vehicle should you ever be involved in a minor fender-bender and need to be rescued.

posted by dyams at 06:36 AM on December 02

Fantastic. Do they do requests? 'Cause I would seriously stab the shit out of two white people to see them do OJ.

No joke, thought the same thing. Well, less stabbing in my head, but still. YMMV.

posted by dfleming at 07:43 AM on December 02

Well, it would be a natural fit, so to speak.

posted by Ufez Jones at 08:19 AM on December 02

It looks like Tiger was PUTTERing around. Elin threw him the BIRDIE. Elin told him he will never get it in the HOLE again. And it will cost him alot of EAGLEs.

Moral of the story, Never use your #1 WOODie on other women when you are married.

posted by Doehead at 08:37 AM on December 02

...trying too hard, methinks.

posted by dfleming at 08:47 AM on December 02

I like Tiger Woods' shirt in the video. It's very Greg Brady.

Tiger Woods has reached a point where John Daly is giving him advice: "the thing that Tiger needs to look at is, whatever happened, just tell the truth."

posted by rcade at 09:07 AM on December 02

Now that another mistress had emerged, I think it's clear that Tiger was just trying to complete his foursome...can't fault a golfer for that.

posted by dviking at 09:52 AM on December 02

This just in from Tiger... Tiger Woods says he has let his family down and regrets "those transgressions with all of my heart."

In a statement Wednesday on his Web site, Woods says he has not been "true to my values and the behavior my family deserves."

He offered his "profound apology" to his supporters.

His comments came after Us Weekly magazine published a cover story alleging that a Los Angeles cocktail waitress had a 31-month affair with the world's No. 1 golfer

posted by dviking at 10:43 AM on December 02

I came here to post that statement.

Honestly, Tiger's plan to keep things private while simultaneously releasing cryptic messages is going to backfire big time.

posted by dfleming at 10:48 AM on December 02

Really, his plan to keep things private was wishful thinking anyway. You can't make a gazillion dollars because everyone likes you and is interested in you, then expect everyone not to be interested in you just when you actually become interesting.

posted by bperk at 10:53 AM on December 02

Does it make me a bad person that this makes me laugh?

posted by JJ at 11:00 AM on December 02

You can't make a gazillion dollars because everyone likes you and is interested in you, then expect everyone not to be interested in you just when you actually become interesting.

Initially, I believed he should be allowed to, however when you cheat on your wife, I think all bets are off. I do believe that people ought to be treated innocent until proven guilty but having heard the voice mail and reading this, I do believe he's got no reason to expect privacy anymore. He's publicly shamed his wife and his family and anything that's a spin off of that is of relevance to everyone.

If you're a good family man and want to keep that part of your life private, I think that's a fair request, but it's looking increasingly like that isn't Tiger.

posted by dfleming at 11:00 AM on December 02

He's in the public eye, and he's made a fortune for it, this does go with the territory.

He has misplayed this game horribly.

posted by dviking at 11:14 AM on December 02

OK - now I'm done laughing and I'm thinking about what this means for golf as a whole. It's implications are pretty far reaching I think. A huge portion of Tiger's invincibility on the course has come from his persona - his untouchable otherness - that has caused many players to publically admit they feel like they're playing for second place.

The persona had plenty to do with his abilities as a golfer, but as much - if not more - to do with his superstar status off the course. For my money, a large chunk of that just went up in smoke. For one thing, he has admitted to being human!

posted by JJ at 11:38 AM on December 02

For one thing, he has admitted to being human!

It seems like the other players on the tour would know that better than anyone else. They see the human being while we see the celebrity.

posted by bperk at 11:47 AM on December 02

Does it make me a bad person that this makes me laugh?

Nope. Laughing right with you JJ. All this time I thought he was smart. Or a robot. A cocktail waitress? Come on, Tiger. Turns out you're just an idiot like me . Sigh.

Side story: I was part of an elite military aerobatic team that flew him in the back seat of one of our jets. All the media were there watching him suit up, strap in, etc. We had given him two airsick bags, and he filled one during the flight. Comes back, shuts down and as the canopy goes up he waves the empty bag. Tells the media he didn't get sick, while the "filled" bag is on the floor of the cockpit. So I guess I'm less surprised than most about all of this.

posted by smithnyiu at 11:53 AM on December 02

That's pretty lame, Smith. I am surprised that he felt the need to lie about his powers of stomach control.

posted by rcade at 11:56 AM on December 02

That's a good apology on Woods' web site. Contrite, but with a little indignation at the invasion of his privacy. Nice shot.

JJ: Don't you think that most of the other top players already knew that Tiger was a womanizer? Pro golf's a small community. Word would get around, so if there's an advantage they could gain from knowledge of his infallibility, they would already have it.

If anything, I expect Woods to crush the competition in 2010 just to prove to everybody that this did not hurt his game. He also will have more time to focus on golf now that he's lost his other favorite pastime.

posted by rcade at 12:07 PM on December 02

That's the thing, rcade - pro golf is a small community, but part of the reason he has been able to boss it so well is that he's not part of that community. He doesn't hang out with any of those guys, all of which just added to his "otherness". I doubt any of them knew about it, because I doubt many (if any) of them would have had a moment's hesitation in accidentally telling a journalist about it.

I see him getting his ass handed to him repeatedly in 2010 and beyond. I now see what I saw as a formality (Woods overturning Nicklaus's record) as in danger.

posted by JJ at 12:18 PM on December 02

He also will have more time to focus on golf now that he's lost his other favorite pastime.

Hitting fire hydrants and crashing into trees?

posted by BornIcon at 12:19 PM on December 02

If only fire hydrants were all he'd been hitting.

posted by JJ at 12:22 PM on December 02

That's a good apology on Woods' web site. Contrite, but with a little indignation at the invasion of his privacy. Nice shot.

I think it smacks of hypocrisy. He has no problem revealing private details of his family life. He talks about his kids, his dog, his wife, etc. He publicly releases family photos. He talked about how his daughter helped him come back from surgery, etc. That stuff is only private to him now that the details are unsavory. He blurred the lines between personal and professional, but is indignant that no one knows where that line is.

posted by bperk at 12:23 PM on December 02

Maybe Woods has pimped out his family life more than I realized, but it seems like you are saying that a celebrity who releases some information about his family life loses the right to complain when embarrassing stuff comes out. That's a pretty tough rule. I think we can all agree that Woods has been guarded about his private life for the most part over the years.

posted by rcade at 12:26 PM on December 02

......that a celebrity who releases some information about his family life loses the right to complain when embarrassing stuff comes out.

Someone should make a private vs. not private rulebook for celebrities to make this easier.

posted by BoKnows at 12:30 PM on December 02

Woods invades people's privacy every day of the week - it's payback time. The statement to me smacked of more indignance than apology, and at points suggested that more than he regrets what he did, he regrets getting caught ("I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means").

He claims to have made his living as a professional athlete, but far more of his annual income (like about 90% of it) comes from being a professional endorser of products and services, and to do that, he has to be a public figure. It's been said a number of times in this thread already, but you can't court the media fervently and then shut the door the moment they want to take their interest in a direction that doesn't suit you.

posted by JJ at 12:33 PM on December 02

I think we can all agree that Woods has been guarded about his private life for the most part over the years.

Agreed. It's even hard to assume he used his squeaky-clean, family image to acquire sponsorship dollars, because regardless of what kind of man he is, he is the golf market.

posted by dfleming at 12:34 PM on December 02

Don't be naive dfleming.

posted by JJ at 12:37 PM on December 02

but it seems like you are saying that a celebrity who releases some information about his family life loses the right to complain when embarrassing stuff comes out.

Yes, I guess I am saying that. If you want your personal life private, then keep it so. No one feels like they know your family, so it is much less interesting. Tiger hasn't at all done that with his family. There are press releases, pictures, stories, etc. Why publicly release photos of you with your kids if you want your family life to be private? Why announce the births of your children? There is only one answer. He is cultivating his public image as a family man for endorsement dollars. His public image comes with a lot of money, but it also comes with a high cost.

posted by bperk at 12:40 PM on December 02

Don't be naive dfleming.

Do you think he loses a single endorsement dollar over this?

posted by dfleming at 12:55 PM on December 02

You don't? Seriously? Of course he's going to lose endorsement because of this.

posted by JJ at 01:25 PM on December 02

Why publicly release photos of you with your kids if you want your family life to be private? Why announce the births of your children? There is only one answer. He is cultivating his public image as a family man for endorsement dollars.

I'm sure the endorsement dollars don't hurt, but I can see an argument that you would release pictures of your kids to stop paps following you everywhere trying to get pictures of your kids.

posted by JJ at 01:27 PM on December 02

He's going to lose endorsement money. He's exposed his wife to humiliation and was out horndogging while she was at home birthing his babies. His popularity with women is going to drop.

posted by rcade at 01:32 PM on December 02

Isn't Tiger Woods rich enough at this point that more endorsement deals are mostly meaningless to his life? If privacy is more important to him than the next billion, it wouldn't take much for him to put a giant moat around his life and keep the media out.

posted by rcade at 01:34 PM on December 02

I'm sure the endorsement dollars don't hurt, but I can see an argument that you would release pictures of your kids to stop paps following you everywhere trying to get pictures of your kids.

Generally, people have an interest in the private lives of people who don't keep their private lives private. They marry other celebs, have public break-ups, talk about their relationships incessantly. I can't think of a celebrity that doesn't fit that mold. And, Tiger lives in Orlando, Florida. The paparazzi would go broke if they had to make a living taking pictures of stuff there.

posted by bperk at 01:47 PM on December 02

If only fire hydrants were all he'd been hitting.

Well played.

He's exposed his wife to humiliation and was out horndogging while she was at home birthing his babies.

And you know this...how?

Of course he's going to lose endorsement because of this.

Because he had a car accident? I highly doubt that any of his sponsers will dump El Tigre over him losing 4 points on his license.

posted by BornIcon at 01:47 PM on December 02

Charlie Pierce's reflection on the incident is worth a read; his 1997 Esquire piece was controversial at the time for puncturing (somewhat) the Tiger myth.

posted by etagloh at 02:15 PM on December 02

The Chinese were wrong. The map on page 4 of the police docs shows that Tiger also hit bushes and a hedge before striking the hydrant and trees.

And you know this...how?

Because he just admitted it. I didn't mean that he was literally sexing floozies while his wife was delivering them -- I meant over those years. There's a special place in the Douchebag Hall of Fame for men who cheat on their wives while they've got babies and toddlers at home.

posted by rcade at 02:21 PM on December 02

Because he just admitted it.

I must of missed it but where does Tiger admit to cheating on his wife?

I didn't mean that he was literally sexing floozies while his wife was delivering them -- I meant over those years.

I knew what you meant.

posted by BornIcon at 02:43 PM on December 02

Tiger Woods just admitted "transgressions," that he has not been "true to my values" and will strive to now be the "husband and father that my family deserves." I'd love to hear what you think he is talking about there if not confirming adultery, particularly in light of the "my wife may be calling you" voicemail to the cocktail waitress.

posted by rcade at 02:51 PM on December 02

Tiger Woods fined $164 for careless driving

I wonder what kind of fine Elin will levy for careless living.

posted by mjkredliner at 03:03 PM on December 02

I'd love to hear what you think he is talking about there if not confirming adultery, particularly in light of the "my wife may be calling you" voicemail to the cocktail waitress.

Like I said in my earlier post, I must of missed where he admitted to his "transgressions". I wasn't saying that you were wrong, I just didn't see that.

posted by BornIcon at 03:27 PM on December 02

There's a special place in the Douchebag Hall of Fame for men who cheat on their wives while they've got babies and toddlers at home.

Really? You know so much about their private life (or anyone's private life) that you can make this blanket pronouncement?

Maybe she had cheated on him. Maybe they had an understanding (and she got mad because the cheating was made public). Maybe she hadn't slept with him in years.

posted by cjets at 03:30 PM on December 02

Maybe she hadn't slept with him in years.

Umm, do you know how babies are made, cjets?

posted by bperk at 03:41 PM on December 02

do you know how babies are made, cjets?

Er...nine months then. The point is that we don't know what drove him to cheat.

posted by cjets at 03:49 PM on December 02

You know so much about their private life (or anyone's private life) that you can make this blanket pronouncement?

Men who cheat on their wives at that point in their marriage are douchebags. It's bad enough to be unfaithful later, but when your wife has just borne you kids (his are 2 and 10 months, respectively)? Way to honor your marriage, pal.

posted by rcade at 03:51 PM on December 02

Men who cheat on their wives at that point in their marriage are douchebags. It's bad enough to be unfaithful later, but when your wife has just borne you kids? Way to honor your marriage, pal.

That's pretty unfair to say rcade. Maybe they were having problems before or during her pregnacy, we don't know just like we don't know why Tiger cheated in the first place.

Personally, I don't care about another persons life like that anyways and just try to live my own life the best way I know how. We're not God to be judging people anyways since the way we may live our lives can be scrutinized by just about anyone.

As long as he's out there on the greens when it matters most and entertains me by doing what he does best, Tiger can bang out golf groupies like a screen door in a tornado for all I care.

posted by BornIcon at 03:57 PM on December 02

That's pretty unfair to say rcade. Maybe they were having problems before or during her pregnacy, we don't know just like we don't know why Tiger cheated in the first place.

Are there good reasons to cheat during a marriage? I'm having trouble thinking of any. I suspect Tiger's golf-club-wielding wife was unconvinced by his reasons as well.

posted by bperk at 04:07 PM on December 02

Men who cheat on their wives at that point in their marriage are douchebags. It's bad enough to be unfaithful later, but when your wife has just borne you kids (his are 2 and 10 months, respectively)?

Until I know the interior workings of their marriage, I choose not to judge.*

He may be a douchebag. But I don't know.

Way to honor your marriage, pal.

I'm gonna assume that this is directed at Mr. Woods. If not, you and that horse you rode in on....well I'm sure you know the rest.

*I reserve the right to change my mind if there are other misdeeds besides the adultery.

posted by cjets at 04:12 PM on December 02

I'm amazed that some are still trying to take Tiger's side of this.

From the first mistress' statements, it's clear that he was cheating on his wife while she was pregnant with their first child. And, given the second mistress and the fact that Tiger's still in contact with the 1st, pretty obvious that he's been cheating all along. the cad.

So, how does this change things on the tour? Woods used to be able to be a pretty demanding prima donna on the course. Staring down anyone that so much as coughed during his warm up, taking much longer than most to putt, etc. Does he still get that level of respect? If there are hecklers...change that to when there are hecklers...how does he handle that? Do the bimbos...change that to hot waitresses/models/event planners/hostesses...show up more often, thinking they have a shot? Or, does his wife accompany him on every round? Tiger has dominated the mental side of golf, should be interesting to see if that continues.

As to his endorsements, clearly, he'll lose some. Bear in mind that it won't necessarily be announced. Some might just not renew contracts, some may shift their focus of him overseas (I'm guessing that this might not get as much play in other countries, I could be wrong). Some will opt out sooner depending on legalize in the contracts. I just don't see how his persona is worth as much to Buick now.

posted by dviking at 04:17 PM on December 02

Are there good reasons to cheat during a marriage?

1. Your partner cheated on you
2. Your partner won't have sex with you.
3. Your partner decides that they're Gay or Lesbian or transgender.

Three off the top of my head.

Of course, divorce is always an option, but a man with kids has a strong motivation to stay married rather than get divorced because there is a very strong presumption for the mom to get custody. So a man who wants to see his kids every day may stay in a loveless marriage and make other arrangements.

Personally, I think counseling would be much better than cheating but it's a complex problem not aided by the black and white pronouncements of others.

ON PREVIEW: Dviking, I'm not on his side. I'm just saying that he may not be a big a douchebag as many of you are saying he is.

posted by cjets at 04:20 PM on December 02

1. Your partner cheated on you

"She did it first" is an acceptable excuse in your house? A marriage vow isn't a bilateral contract, it's a promise you make. There weren't any subclauses in my vows.

posted by yerfatma at 04:27 PM on December 02

Three off the top of my head.

I don't buy any of those. #1 is as yerfatma says. #2 is obviously not the case here since they seem to be making babies. #3 sounds like a divorce is in order. And, we aren't the ones who made the pronouncements. He did. He admitted what a terrible mistake he has made.

posted by bperk at 04:35 PM on December 02

A marriage vow isn't a bilateral contract, it's a promise you make.

A marriage absolutely is a legal contract enforceable by law.

There weren't any subclauses in my vows.

Maybe, just maybe, there were subclauses in theirs.

She did it first" is an acceptable excuse in your house?

This isn't about me. It's about Tiger. And I'd appreciate it if we kept it that way.

#2 is obviously not the case here since they seem to be making babies

This is the question you asked. Are there good reasons to cheat during a marriage? A general question about cheating during marriage. So I answered it.

I'm not trying to defend adultery. I'm just not comfortable calling him a douchebag because he cheated on his wife.

posted by cjets at 05:03 PM on December 02

cjets, he's a douchebag, make no doubts about that.

Does cheating on your spouse make you a douchebag...probably. Does cheating on your spouse when they're pregnant with your child make you a douchebag...I'm going to go with yes. Does carrying on multiple (as in more than one) relationships during the period that your wife is pregnant and/or raising your infant children make you a douchebag...My answer changes to an unqualifed, absolutely, yes.

It's one thing for a guy to be in a hotel thousands of miles from home, and he has a one time fling with a woman he never sees again. Not condoning that in any way, just saying it's one level of adultery. Tiger took it to a much higher level on three accounts (per my wife who reiterated her warning that she is trained on handguns, not golf clubs): 1, multiple mistresses. 2, repeated trysts over an extended time period. 3, cheating while she was pregnant (seems that women feel vunerable during that time...I don't know, not a woman or a shrink)

posted by dviking at 05:10 PM on December 02

I'm gonna assume that this is directed at Mr. Woods.

Yes. I was not making any insinuations about your marriage and I'm surprised you considered that a possibility.

Instead of looking for unlikely excuses for adultery from a guy who has apologized for transgressions, I think it's safe to conclude that he's guilty of Hall of Fame-caliber douchebaggery.

"Grubbs tells US Weekly that she first met Woods in April 2007 at the Light nightclub in Las Vegas when he tapped her on the shoulder and said, 'You don't look like you're having any fun.'

"What followed was a night of dancing that culminated in the duo returning to Woods' hotel suite at the MGM hotel, according to Grubbs, who says she remembers noticing that the golf star was not wearing a wedding ring."

Tiger's wife was seven months pregnant in April 2007. The couple had been married less than three years.

His actions are repulsive.

The only upside is that in 15-20 years, we could have a much larger number of his Cablanasian progeny filling the PGA and LPGA leaderboard.

posted by rcade at 05:27 PM on December 02

I just don't see how his persona is worth as much to Buick now.

Buick and Tiger Woods broke up last year.

posted by rcade at 05:37 PM on December 02

I'm surprised you considered that a possibility

My mistake. I'm glad it isn't.

I'll admit, the facts you and Dviking lay out make him look pretty bad. But there may be other facts which shed a different light on it. And as far as someone else's adultery, I guess I'm willing to give him (or her) the benefit of the doubt. If only because it really isn't my business.

posted by cjets at 05:39 PM on December 02

I'm just not comfortable calling him a douchebag because he cheated on his wife.

What would it take for you to call him a douchebag?

Releasing a sex tape without her knowledge?
Assaulting her?
A flipped-collar and too much hair spray and colouring?

"Guy cheating on pregnant wife" meets most people's definition of douchebaggery.

posted by grum@work at 05:41 PM on December 02

Buick and Tiger Woods broke up last year

Think they knew something?

Ok, so maybe not Buick, but any company besides these guys probably aren't excited about what his recent behavior does to how consumers view their products.

posted by dviking at 05:52 PM on December 02

Like rcade, I agree that Tiger will now go out and whup some butt and it wouldn't be surprising to see him reel off one of his best years in '10. However, I think it's a little harsh and judgmental to say that he's a douchebag for cheating on his wife, if in fact that's what he did. Does he cease being a douchebag if the facts prove it wasn't the case? And as long as Tiger is a billionaire, it's doubtful his popularity with women will fall off at all.

posted by apthomason at 05:54 PM on December 02

However, I think it's a little harsh and judgmental to say that he's a douchebag for cheating on his wife, if in fact that's what he did. Does he cease being a douchebag if the facts prove it wasn't the case?

I'll take two of whatever it is you're drinking and/or smoking. The man admitted to it. What exactly do you think Woods is referring to in his apology?

posted by dviking at 06:08 PM on December 02

Wow...check out what Jasper Parnevik has to say on this.

To see a fellow player taking it to a more extrememe level than any of us are says something. Now, maybe he's just feeling guilty due to being the one the hooked Tiger and his wife up. However, to throw out "I hope she uses a driver next time" isn't exactly the type of comments I was expecting from other players.

posted by dviking at 06:13 PM on December 02

Assaulting her?

Exactly. First ballot hall of fame douchebaggery (and a jail sentence) should be reserved for men who beat their wives. Something which happens all too frequently with pro athletes.

I hope that all of you who are so incensed by Tiger's actions respond the same way the next time a pro athlete beats his wife/GF.

posted by cjets at 06:25 PM on December 02

That hope will go unfulfilled in the Rcade house, Cjets. Just as certain as I'm sitting here in my Lawrence Phillips jersey with my Rae Carruth sweatpants and Tawny Kitaen mankini briefs.

Jesper really lays him out in that interview. I'm amazed -- that has to be a violation of pro golfer mancode.

posted by rcade at 06:41 PM on December 02

What? Did someone steal your OJ jersey?

posted by cjets at 06:44 PM on December 02

What? Did someone steal your OJ jersey?

Didn't you hear? OJ is stealing all his stuff back, rcade's too.

posted by BoKnows at 06:59 PM on December 02

Are there good reasons to cheat during a marriage?

1. Your partner cheated on you 2. Your partner won't have sex with you. 3. Your partner decides that they're Gay or Lesbian or transgender.

Do I win a special prize for getting the trifecta?

/Actually true.

//Not together anymore.

posted by owlhouse at 07:06 PM on December 02

.

posted by rcade at 07:15 PM on December 02

What exactly do you think Woods is referring to in his apology?

I know, he doesn't have to spell it out. It's just that the dust hasn't settled on this and some are ready to crucify Tiger for something that isn't any of their business. And I think he should get credit for his charity contributions because he does do good for a great number of people. With that in mind, is he still a douchebag? I don't know, it's not for me to say. I have never met him.

I'm down to one Newcastle in the fridge but you're welcome to it. Low on smoke but should have enough to get us through the evening at least.

posted by apthomason at 07:16 PM on December 02

Open the door, it's me, Dave.

posted by tselson at 09:31 PM on December 02

a Newcastle will do.

You know, I was thinking about all the charity work his foundation does..I really have no idea how much he does personally...and I'm hoping none of that changes. He gets some points for that, but it's not like he can buy his way out of this.

Lots of crap out there on this, some pretty funny, some rather sad. He should have just come clean on the event last week, and he probably could have prevented this media storm.

posted by dviking at 11:52 PM on December 02

I hope that all of you who are so incensed by Tiger's actions respond the same way the next time a pro athlete beats his wife/GF.

I think that the record of it is lost in the mists of time, but when Brett Myers assaulted his wife (back in 2006), most people on SpoFi were pretty damn pissed off by it.

posted by grum@work at 12:48 AM on December 03

Reckon Accenture will be running this advert again anytime soon?

posted by JJ at 06:17 AM on December 03

I hope that all of you who are so incensed by Tiger's actions respond the same way the next time a pro athlete beats his wife/GF.

I'm completely lost by this equivalency.

A marriage absolutely is a legal contract enforceable by law.

That may be so nowadays in First World countries, but I feel comfortable saying the bulk of people getting married do so for the romantic reasons and not because contract law makes them swoony. I've never considered my marriage a legal contract and the day I do is the day I should probably try to get out of it.

posted by yerfatma at 07:33 AM on December 03

Open the door, it's me, Dave

Dave's not here man.

posted by BornIcon at 09:05 AM on December 03

Enough about Tiger Woods. The big news is that Ron Wood of the incredable Rolling Stones has been arrested. Now that's newsworthy.

posted by pullmyfinger at 10:51 AM on December 03

Tiger's brother is in the Rolling Stones?

posted by tahoemoj at 11:02 AM on December 03

I'm completely lost by this equivalency.

It's something I've been thinking about since the story broke. Pro Athletes beat their wives/GF's on a regular basis and it seems to be no big deal.

But Tiger cheats on his wife and it is the lead story all over the country. I'll admit to having a prurient interest in the story but I'm not judging. I think adultery is the business of the husband and wife involved.

I have plenty of moral indignation. I just save it for the wife beaters, the athletes who assault others or the drunk drivers who commit vehicular homicide.

I feel comfortable saying the bulk of people getting married do so for the romantic reasons

Sure they do. But they also do so because a marriage contract provides an important legal foundation which protects the rights of the married couple. If you have any doubts about that, you might want to talk to Gay couples desperate to gain the rights a marriage contract provides.

posted by cjets at 12:23 PM on December 03

Pro Athletes beat their wives/GF's on a regular basis and it seems to be no big deal.

Where exactly is it no big deal? Any pro athlete who abused a spouse or girlfriend would get shredded on SportsFilter.

posted by rcade at 12:29 PM on December 03

Where exactly is it no big deal? Any pro athlete who abused a spouse or girlfriend would get shredded on SportsFilter.

Or boyfriend.

posted by tommytrump at 12:34 PM on December 03

"And as long as Tiger is a billionaire, it's doubtful his popularity with women will fall off at all. " Dude, apthomason, did you REALLY just say that??? Wow. Do you really think women are that shallow? Methinks you're probably not married...and apparently for good reason.

I am a woman and I adore Tiger first and foremost for his mad golfing skills. An added bonus was the wholesome person he isand his obvious love and support of his wife, kids, and mom & Dad. Now, I'm not feeling that love for him. Nope, not gonna buy my husband any more Nike golf schwag anymore.

I will still love watching him play golf, but now, in my book, he's a DOUCHEBAG as rcade and others keep suggesting.

It makes me laugh to think if Elin going after him with a golf club...guess it was the closest thing on hand. The bastard is lucky he doesn't play baseball for a living.

posted by aacheson at 12:48 PM on December 03

Where exactly is it no big deal

The comment was not about spofi, rcade. It was about our culture in general.

posted by cjets at 12:59 PM on December 03

Wow. Do you really think women are that shallow?

Suffice to say, some are. Don't front and act like there aren't women or men that get involved with people due to the amount in the person's bank account.

posted by BornIcon at 01:10 PM on December 03

Suffice to say, some are. Don't front and act like there aren't women or men that get involved with people due to the amount in the person's bank account.

Aacheson was responding to a comment that said women are that way, not some women. There are as many different variations of women as there of men.

posted by bperk at 01:18 PM on December 03

The comment was not about spofi, rcade. It was about our culture in general.

I must've heard mention of Chris Brown beating up then-girlfriend Rihanna a hundred times the past year.

posted by rcade at 01:23 PM on December 03

Aacheson was responding to a comment that said women are that way, not some women. There are as many different variations of women as there of men.

Of course there are many different variations of men and women but Aacheson's question was, "Do you really think women are that shallow?" and there are men and women out there that are in fact that shallow. They're called gold diggers.

posted by BornIcon at 01:26 PM on December 03

The real tragedy here is it takes marital infidelity to bring the old members back for a reunion tour.

posted by yerfatma at 01:30 PM on December 03

Of course there are many different variations of men and women but Aacheson's question was, "Do you really think women are that shallow?" and there are men and women out there that are in fact that shallow.

I know what her question was. The answer is still no. I'm missing your point. Are you saying that the answer to her simple yes or no question should be yes, women are that shallow because such women exist? Or do you think her yes or no question must be clarified lest anyone get the wrong impression that women never care about money?

posted by bperk at 01:33 PM on December 03

I must've heard mention of Chris Brown beating up then-girlfriend Rihanna a hundred times the past year.

Did he serve any jail time? Or is he still making records and making money with millions of fans (as well as being on GMA this week)? Also, I was talking about athletes who commit these "transgressions", as we tend to do here*


*I would think you would know that by now

posted by cjets at 01:34 PM on December 03

The fact that some women are that shallow does not at all change the answer to that question.

I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

posted by BornIcon at 01:39 PM on December 03

You said you were talking about "our culture in general," CJets. So I brought up Chris Brown, only to be told you're talking about athletes -- complete with some weird "I would think you would know that by now" crack.

Yesterday, I had to defend myself from the completely nonsensical suggestion that I was making a comment about your marriage. I didn't even know you were married.

It appears that you have a personal beef with me, going back to the Steve Phillips affair discussion at least.

Looking back at that, it's entertaining to compare your gentle treatment of Tiger Woods to the way you talked about the intern who committed adultery with Phillips. It's OK to call a woman so ugly she is heinous because she's an adulterer, but it's wrong to call a married man a douchebag because he's whoring around behind his pregnant wife's back? You couldn't get enough of passing judgment against that woman, but now it's wrong to judge? Nice double standard.

posted by rcade at 02:20 PM on December 03

"I would think you would know that by now"

Really Rcade? It was a joke. You can snark about Lawrence Phillips jerseys but I can't make a joke?

Let me be more specific. I was talking about how our culture treats pro athletes who commit crimes, specifically beating women. If you look at my comments earlier, it seems pretty clear I was talking about pro athletes.

Here is our earlier exchange:

Pro Athletes beat their wives/GF's on a regular basis and it seems to be no big deal.

Where exactly is it no big deal? Any pro athlete who abused a spouse or girlfriend would get shredded on SportsFilter.

The comment was not about spofi, rcade. It was about our culture in general.

My posts are in bold. By the way, I also think Chris Brown got off easy, but I don't think that's relevant.

Yesterday, I had to defend myself from the completely nonsensical suggestion that I was making a comment about your marriage. I didn't even know you were married.

Your "way to go, pal" comment was in direct reponse to something I said. I didn't think it was about me, but because it was in direct response to something I said, I couldn't be sure. And you said it wasn't I said "My mistake. I'm glad it isn't."

It appears that you have a personal beef with me, going back to the Steve Phillips affair discussion at least.

I have no personal beef with you. I think you have one with me. You were the one that said I had "judgement wood" in regard to the Philips case and you are the one bringin up the Phillips story now.

Looking back at that, it's entertaining to compare your kid-glove treatment of Tiger Woods to the way you talked about the intern who committed adultery with Phillips. It's OK to call a woman so ugly she is heinous because she's an adulterer, but it's wrong to call a married man a douchebag because he's whoring around behind his pregnant wife's back?

That characterization is just dead wrong. The problem I had with her was her stalking of the Phillips family, not the adultery. Here are some of the comments I made:

And her actions were not over the line, they're criminal. She stalked his wife and his son. She deserves more than ridicule, she deserves criminal charges.

And there were other options open to her if she felt wronged. Such as a multi-million dollar sexual harassment suit. And had she played it that way, I would not have uttered one word about her appearance. Because in that case she would have been a victim and not fair game.

So in that post, you criticize me for being too judgemental. In this post, I'm not judgemental enough.

We seem to have differing views on many issues. So be it. That doesn't make it personal to me. In fact, I avoided the Thierry Henry FPP because I so completely disagreed with you again and wanted to avoid yet another discussion with you because I feel like I have a target on my back when it comes to you.

ON PREVIEW:

You couldn't get enough of passing judgment against that woman, but now it's wrong to judge? Nice double standard.

She stalked his innocent wife and teenage son. It wasn't the adultery as I said earlier. It was the stalking.

posted by cjets at 02:39 PM on December 03

So in that post, you criticize me for being too judgemental. In this post, I'm not judgemental enough.

It seems like a double standard to be so harsh about a "heinous" nobody while bending over backwards to find reasons not to judge Tiger Woods. If you think adultery is not that big a deal, you could have fooled me with this comment.

On the one hand, Phillips "destroyed his marriage to have sex with her." On the other, "Maybe [the Woods'] had an understanding (and she got mad because the cheating was made public)."

I hate it when the rich and famous get a pass for behavior that people would condemn otherwise. Woods may still be a great guy in many ways and a supporter of charities, but now that we've had a window opened into his personal life, I don't like what I'm seeing.

I have a friend who gives me grief for being judgmental about stuff like this. It's none of our business. Every marriage is different. Yadda yadda yadda. But to be completely frank, as someone whose childhood was affected by adultery, I think it is total douchebag behavior to run around behind your wife's back when you have young kids at home. Get a freakin' divorce if you want to do that.

I have no personal beef with you. I think you have one with me.

Six of one, half dozen of the other. I raised the issue of whether this was personal to drag it out into the open and, I would hope, resolve it. If I've taken it too far I apologize.

posted by rcade at 03:01 PM on December 03

I raised the issue of whether this was personal to drag it out into the open and, I would hope, resolve it. If I've taken it too far I apologize.

No need to apologize. We both have strong opinions and, I'm sure, will butt heads again. I'll do my best to stick to the issue at hand and keep in mind that you are doing the same.

Once more into the breach:

I just think the Phillips case is much different. Phillips is guilty of sexual harassment and sexual misconduct (as well as ruining my team) and his liason is guilty of stalking his family.

I hate it when the rich and famous get a pass for behavior that people would condemn otherwise.

So do I. But I'm not convinced that adultery is behavior that needs to be punished by anyone other than the injured party. He has to make this up to his wife. And if she divorces him (and they don't have a pre-nup), this may cost him 500 million dollars. That seems like punishment enough.

But to be completely frank, as someone whose childhood was affected by adultery, I think it is total douchebag behavior to run around behind your wife's back when you have young kids at home.

Interesting. My childhood was affected by it as well. Maybe my coming to terms with it affects my attitude, just as it does yours.

posted by cjets at 04:01 PM on December 03

You were the one that said I had "judgement wood" in regard to the Philips

To be fair, I could see it too. You could wear thicker pants or tie a sweatshirt around your waist...

posted by tron7 at 04:24 PM on December 03

Fact is that Tiger didn't use the big head (on top) for thinking, but instead used the little head (somewhere near the middle). The results were predictable. He deserves whatever condemnation he gets. Let him live with it.

The real tragedy here is it takes marital infidelity to bring the old members back for a reunion tour.

I've been trying to bring my old member back for a reunion tour for a long time. It is preventing marital infidelity, or even marital performance, on my part.

posted by Howard_T at 04:46 PM on December 03

Some women are that shallow, this is true. I thought it was a stupid comment because, first of all he made it sound like the vast majority of women only like him because he's rich. Being a woman and also knowing LOTS of women, all of my friends that care about Tiger like him because he's got a great body, he is an exciting golfer to watch (as exciting as golf can be, at least,) he makes the game interesting, and as I stated before, he appeared to be a family man. Its not the money women like-although he makes money because women and men like him. Does that make sense?

I bet that most people who buy the stuff that Tiger pushes (Tagheur watches, Cadillacs, nike golf crap) are men, not women, so I doubt that will affect him much.

On an aside, why do these men always pick such embarassing mistresses?

As for being one of the tragic oldies that is back (you're only 7 in front of me, yrfatma-awesome) I lurk occasionally but most of the sports-talk here is waaay beyond my pay grade. Thus, I rarely post. But this, I can discuss. Not straight sports stuff here.

posted by aacheson at 05:14 PM on December 03

Tiger doesn't have a great body. Sorry to burst a big ol bubble, but he doesn't. That is all I have to say.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 06:03 PM on December 03

Oh man, the best part of all this for me is that it's just so fucking normal. This is such an unsuperhuman situation - it's the like the worst case scenario for the average guy: gets caught cheating with a cocktail waitress and his wife tunes him up with a 7-iron. He crashes while trying to outrun the crazed spouse.

The phone message was pretty sweet too. Note the quiet desperation and genuine fear of his wife. It's great. He's basically saying "Please do whatever you can. It'd be huge. I'm so fucked - she's going to kill me. Seriously - just erase something!"

I'm not sure if it's nice or depressing that the greats have the same stupid problems as the rest of us drones, but it sure is funny. We found Tiger Woods kryptonite. It's Elin! He's terrified of her! And he should be!

I think she's a great role model for young women. The I-don't-care-if-you're-the-greatest-golfer-in-history-if-you-cheat-on-me-I-will-beat-the-shit-out-of-you type of role model. Girl Power!

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 06:14 PM on December 03

Tiger has a great body?

posted by yzelda4045 at 06:18 PM on December 03

If I said he did, would you hold it against me?

posted by yerfatma at 07:15 PM on December 03

The comment was not about spofi, rcade. It was about our culture in general.

I must've heard mention of Chris Brown beating up then-girlfriend Rihanna a hundred times the past year.

Whereas it wouldn't be a huge stretch to suggest that Tiger's wife may have gotten away with spousal abuse.

I think she's a great role model for young women. The I-don't-care-if-you're-the-greatest-golfer-in-history-if-you-cheat-on-me-I-will-beat-the-shit-out-of-you type of role model. Girl Power!

Yeah, domestic violence is a great thing. We ought to encourage more of it.

posted by rodgerd at 07:50 PM on December 03

I think he has a great body-very toned and strong and muscular and lean. A sexy body.

posted by aacheson at 08:48 PM on December 03

I bet that most people who buy the stuff that Tiger pushes (Tagheur watches, Cadillacs, nike golf crap) are men, not women, so I doubt that will affect him much

I will think twice before buying Nike golf products.

Whereas it wouldn't be a huge stretch to suggest that Tiger's wife may have gotten away with spousal abuse

Yeah, domestic violence is a great thing. We ought to encourage more of it

That's a big part of why I think Tiger's getting special treatment from the police. No way do they just basically walk away from me, and my wife, if I hit the fire hydrant just past my driveway at 30 MPH, my wife beats the hell out of my vehicle, I'm bleeding and disoriented enough to require a trip to the hospital, all at 2:25 AM. Nope, not happening where I live.

I think he has a great body-very toned and strong and muscular and lean

I'll agree with that much of your comment. (that doesn't make me gay does it?)

posted by dviking at 09:10 PM on December 03

I think he has a great body-very toned and strong and muscular and lean

I'll agree with that much of your comment. (that doesn't make me gay does it?)

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

posted by tommytrump at 09:38 PM on December 03

Did you hear Tiger is changing his name to Cheetah Woods?

bada-bing

posted by aacheson at 10:11 PM on December 03

How messed up is it that in a discussion involving Tiger and Elin we're talking about Tiger's body and him being sexy?

posted by dyams at 10:38 PM on December 03

I bet that most people who buy the stuff that Tiger pushes (Tagheur watches, Cadillacs, nike golf crap) are men ...

Why would you bet that men buy most cars?

posted by rcade at 10:49 PM on December 03

Why would you bet that men buy most cars?

So they can get away from their 3 iron wielding wives?

posted by tselson at 10:52 PM on December 03

Most men buy Cadillacs. Its more of a guy car than gal car. Thats what I meant.

Tselson, that was hilarious.

posted by aacheson at 12:26 AM on December 04

What's upsetting me most now is that no one seems to have the final word on what club it was Elin used to break the window of the car. First reports said it was an 8-iron, which struck me as a bit conservative in an emergency. That got upgraded to a 7-iron later as the story developed. Now it seems to be a 3-iron.

I think Weedy hit the nail on the head. I've been trying to work out why this whole thing is making me so gleeful - it is, after all, a terrible situation for all concerned. The reason is simple. We're surrounded by images of the great and the good and although we know as intelligent, thinking people that the images and fronts we see are not the whole person, and that to aspire to what they have is ridiculous because even they don't really have what it looks like they have, still we all do, at some level not only aspire to it, but even feel bad for not getting it.

So to discover that at least one of those images is as false and unrepresentative as we always suspected deep down inside is hugely gratifying. Today, I will smoke a cigarette or two, and I'll probably go out after work and have half a dozen beers, some take away food, and fall into bed far later than I meant to. Then tomorrow, I'll get up later than I meant to, drive to the golf course, maybe have a quick little something to knock the edge off the weather and my hangover, and I'll go out and play golf without once thinking that I should practice harder and not drink so much. And I might just do all that with something of a smug little grin on my face. I'm hateful like that.

posted by JJ at 04:42 AM on December 04

Yeah, domestic violence is a great thing. We ought to encourage more of it.

See! Now that's the way to look at the bright side of things.

I think he has a great body-very toned and strong and muscular and lean. A sexy body.

I just threw up in my mouth.

If I said he did, would you hold it against me?

Here's what I have to say about that.

posted by BornIcon at 06:53 AM on December 04

How messed up is it that in a discussion involving Tiger and Elin we're talking about Tiger's body and him being sexy?

I just threw up in my mouth.

Uncool. There are some women who post here, including the one who began the discussion about Tiger Woods' body. It shouldn't be "messed up" or vomit-inducing to read comments about a male athlete's attractiveness when females are talked about that way all the time here.

posted by rcade at 09:34 AM on December 04

It shouldn't be "messed up" or vomit-inducing to read comments about a male athlete's attractiveness when females are talked about that way all the time here.

It shouldn't but it is considering that I now have a permanent image of Tiger's body that I could've lived without. I'm not knocking females perspective of how attractive they may find Tiger, I just didn't need a detailed description of it.

Btw, it was a joke.

posted by BornIcon at 10:44 AM on December 04

Well, women don't need descriptions of women's bodies, but you don't seem to refrain from that kind of banter on this site. You are one of the first people to talk about a woman being hot.

posted by bperk at 10:52 AM on December 04

Well, women don't need descriptions of women's bodies, but you don't seem to refrain from that kind of banter on this site.

I agree with your point about that but when I have went into description of a woman's body on this site?

You are one of the first people to talk about a woman being hot

Fair enough but saying that a woman is hot or beautiful is not the same as going into detail of a woman's body.

posted by BornIcon at 10:56 AM on December 04

It shouldn't but it is considering that I now have a permanent image of Tiger's body that I could've lived without.

You're still not getting the point. There's no way that you are genuinely sickened by a simple comment that a male athlete is "strong and muscular and lean." You're choosing to make a juvenile remark at the expense of this place being welcome to all kinds of people.

posted by rcade at 11:20 AM on December 04

You're still not getting the point. There's no way that you are genuinely sickened by a simple comment that a male athlete is "strong and muscular and lean."

Dude, you're not getting the point, it was a joke, a passing comment, not to be taken seriously. I've always been a Tiger Woods fan but in all honesty, as a man, I've never looked at Tiger that way (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Sure, when Tiger started working out on a regular, I took part in discussions about how Tiger now can give out invites to his gun show but that was as far as it went on my part but where's the juvenile remark that you speak of? Are you referring to the joke you assumed was a serious comment?

Is it really that serious?

posted by BornIcon at 11:33 AM on December 04

Whatever, BI. You are being a complete hypocrite. You make a snide joke at one of very, very rare comments about a man's attractiveness, yet regularly make such comments yourself about women. Yes, it is that serious. This is one of the very few places to discuss sports that doesn't devolve into comments about women's body parts. I'd like to keep it that way.

posted by bperk at 11:52 AM on December 04

bperk: You're the one that said that I've made comments describing a woman's body but just so you know, that's not entirely accurate. I have said that either a woman was beautiful or hot but I never went into full detailed description about a woman's body.

Yes, it is that serious.

No, it's only serious because you're making it serious and I refuse to go down that path with you, it was a throw away joke that you didn't get or don't want to get and I'm fine with that so just let it go and move on.

This is one of the very few places to discuss sports that doesn't devolve into comments about women's body parts. I'd like to keep it that way.

Then stop insinuating that I have since I would like for SpoFi to remain the way it is as well.

posted by BornIcon at 12:15 PM on December 04

No, it's only serious because you're making it serious and I refuse to go down that path with you, it was a throw away joke that you didn't get or don't want to get and I'm fine with that so just let it go and move on.

You don't get to decide what other people can be serious about or discuss here. I don't want to move on from this because I think it is an important issue. It doesn't matter if it is a joke or not. It still creates a certain kind of environment here. I doubt you would be so flippant about offhand jokes that made black people or Latin people or Asian people feel unwelcome to comment freely.

posted by bperk at 12:48 PM on December 04

Dude, apthomason, did you REALLY just say that??? Wow. Do you really think women are that shallow? Methinks you're probably not married...and apparently for good reason.

Yep, I just said it. While I agree that I can be pretty stupid most of the time, I'm standing by what I said. Do you think these hot women would be giving Eldrick the time of day if he were some broke-ass regular Joe (albeit with a great body) driving a rusted-out 1994 Chevrolet Cavalier to go pick up his kids from school?

And you're right - I'm not married nor have I ever been. That's because I'm a middle-aged hundredaire athlete with a great body and noticable male pattern baldness. I've nothing to offer, but I'm happy and I like it this way.

posted by apthomason at 01:16 PM on December 04

What's upsetting me most now is that no one seems to have the final word on what club it was Elin used to break the window of the car. First reports said it was an 8-iron, which struck me as a bit conservative in an emergency. That got upgraded to a 7-iron later as the story developed. Now it seems to be a 3-iron.

For the record, I think I threw the 8 iron out in either this thread, or the one that started the day of the accident. No real thought process on it. Though I think I'd want at least some loft to the club if I'm trying to do damage to someone's face...get a nice divot! I think a 6 or 7 is probably the way to go. Driver and the long irons are probably too long to maneuver in close range, wedges might be a bit short to get decent velocity on your swing. Not discounting a putter as I did see a guy use one to send his wife to the hospital with a nasty cut on her head...100% accident...loving, faithful marriage.

posted by dviking at 06:03 PM on December 04

Well, the Chinese TV reenactment seems to show her weilding a driver, so its GOT to be the truth!

posted by aacheson at 07:55 PM on December 04

Uncool. There are some women who post here, including the one who began the discussion about Tiger Woods' body. It shouldn't be "messed up" or vomit-inducing to read comments about a male athlete's attractiveness when females are talked about that way all the time here.

Even if I was a female I'd still find Elin hot.

posted by dyams at 08:00 PM on December 04

Another woman has stepped forward saying that she had an affair with Tiger. This is getting ugly fast.

posted by dfleming at 02:18 PM on December 05

The reports that Rachel Uchitel got seven-figure hush money should bring every other former mistress out of the woodwork.

posted by rcade at 03:20 PM on December 05

Yea, I may submit an application for some of that money as well.

If he's paying women 7-figures to stay quiet, I think he'll pony up even more to keep me quiet.

In regard to his affair with Rachel Uchitel, the latest news is a bit kinky to say the least.

Abuse of prescription drugs???

Sex dreams regarding Derek Jeter and David Boreanaz????

yes, as dfleming said...this is getting ugly fast!

posted by dviking at 03:58 PM on December 05

The reports that Rachel Uchitel got seven-figure hush money should bring every other former mistress out of the woodwork.

Rumors that the government is considering making payouts to Tiger's former mistresses a part of the next stimulus bill are unfounded.

posted by Howard_T at 04:25 PM on December 05

Reading all this stuff makes me finally be able to say, who really gives a damn about this guy? It's fun watching him hit a golf ball, but I now realize how foolish I was to ever be swayed by Woods' phony, bullshit Mr. Perfect act that has been shoved down our throats for years. What will it take for me to get it through my head that I have to look beyond the BS interviews, ads, etc. and realize Woods, like so many of the rich and famous, are as screwed up, if not more screwed up, than practically anyone? Some of these sponsors who stuck by this jackoff right after this issue began will soon have no choice but to dump him. Hopefully nobody wastes any sympathy on the idiot.

posted by dyams at 04:29 PM on December 05

I think, if only for the entertainment value, golf will be easier to watch on TV if "get in the hole!" gets replaced with "Tiger Woods loves Ambien sex!"

posted by dfleming at 05:09 PM on December 05

dyams, come on now. If a slick marketing campaign is your idea of having an idea "shoved down your throat", you just don't know your own mind or your own priorities. You're free to close the magazine or turn off the TV or walk away at any time. Contrast that with people who have been harangued at gunpoint, like those who survived the killing fields of Cambodia or the Cultural Revolution in China, and I think you'll agree that any American who complains about having ideas "shoved down their throat" is grossly exaggerating.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:29 PM on December 05

lbb, I'm not sure dyams was trying to compare the marketing blitz that is Tiger Woods with the killing fields of Cambodia, kind of an apples and oranges deal there.

We've been given a pretty healthy dose of Woods in the past few years, and I'll be very surprised if that continues. He's damaged goods at this point. He might have been able to survive the one mistress and whatever happened in his driveway, but if the Ambien abuse is confirmed I can't see how many advertisers would stick with him.

Should be interesting to see how Tiger deals with all of this. He won't be getting the same level of respect from the players/crowd/media for a while, and seeing as he seemed to get distracted rather easily in the past I think he may struggle for a while. If he comes back strong, at least on the course this will be forgotten quickly.

posted by dviking at 08:44 PM on December 05

lbb, I'm not sure dyams was trying to compare the marketing blitz that is Tiger Woods with the killing fields of Cambodia, kind of an apples and oranges deal there.

That was exactly my point. To say that a slick marketing push = having a concept "shoved down your throat" seems, as I said, like a gross exaggeration. Apples and oranges, just as you say.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 09:13 PM on December 05

If a slick marketing campaign is your idea of having an idea "shoved down your throat", you just don't know your own mind or your own priorities.

It's not just the marketing campaigns for Nike, Buick and the other products. Golf broadcasters, sports journalists and the other media have pimped the shit out of Tiger Woods all the time. He's been the golden child ever since he won his first Masters.

Think back to that megalomanical quote by his father Earl when Woods accepted an award as best college golfer back in 1996: "My heart fills with so much joy when I realize that this young man is going to be able to help so many people. He will transcend this game and bring to the world a humanitarianism which has never been known before. The world will be a better place to live in by virtue of his existence and his presence. I acknowledge only a small part in that in that I know that I was personally selected by God himself to nurture this young man and bring him to the point where he can make his contribution to humanity. This is my treasure. Please accept it and use it wisely. Thank you."

I read Dyams comment to mean simply that he bought all the hype and feels stupid for doing so. I know how he feels. I bought it too.

Contrast that with people who have been harangued at gunpoint, like those who survived the killing fields of Cambodia or the Cultural Revolution in China, and I think you'll agree that any American who complains about having ideas "shoved down their throat" is grossly exaggerating.

How on earth can you call out Dyams for exaggeration when you just dragged the killing fields into this?

posted by rcade at 10:10 PM on December 05

I read Dyams comment to mean simply that he bought all the hype and feels stupid for doing so.

Thank you.

But now lbb has my mind and priorities so much in question I doubt I can even get out of bed in the morning.

Oh wait, I'll have to get up. I have to watch the final round of the Tiger Woods Chevron World Challenge!

posted by dyams at 11:21 PM on December 05

Whatever, people. You think the phrase "shoved down my throat" fits the bill for an aggressive marketing campaign, I don't. I guess we'll agree to disagree. Best of luck with developing some better filters to help you avoid all the throat-pain you're going to experience in a world full of ideas and viewpoints and, yes, marketing, all of which someone is going to want to promote.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 07:58 AM on December 06

but I now realize how foolish I was to ever be swayed by Woods' phony, bullshit Mr. Perfect act that has been shoved down our throats for years.

This was my original comment, and it had to do with exactly what rcade said. I'm not even speaking of the specific ads or marketing campaigns Woods appears in and the message they are trying to convey. The actual message in the ads never really crossed my mind. The point I was making was how Woods' (again as rcade pointed out) has been overexposed by media, journalists, broadcasters, as well as marketing firms to make him appear to be the perfect human. I fell for this shit (the idea the guy basically walked on water), and that has nothing to do with the actual message the ad campaigns who employed his services were actually trying to sell or their particular message. To tell you the truth, Woods appears in so many things I actually can't even keep them straight. The "Mr. Perfect" image is what I was saying was being shoved down people's throats, not any actual marketing campaign idea. Many people are feeling shocked by Tiger Woods' transgressions in his personal life because they had this picture painted for them by multiple sources that he was somehow above that. As hard as it is to admit, I was one of those people.

posted by dyams at 08:39 AM on December 06

You think the phrase "shoved down my throat" fits the bill for an aggressive marketing campaign ...

No one thinks that. You're posting a withering rebuttal to nobody.

posted by rcade at 10:23 AM on December 06

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