FanDuel - WFBC

March 09, 2006

Barry is 2 legit 2 quit: Every story written about steroids means nothing to us in the know...You are loved by many. I love you. Hammer, don't hurt 'em.

posted by dzot to baseball at 10:31 PM - 69 comments

MC: I wish I could quit you. Barry: Why don't ya? Brokeback Balco

posted by dzot at 10:33 PM on March 09

insanely funny ..,. i thought he was dead

posted by sirvomitousIV at 11:12 PM on March 09

another "BIRD" with his head in the sand, or maybe it's the S.F. fog that get's them "cloudy".

posted by rockyxgone at 11:25 PM on March 09

What has he been smoking? His Nationwide Insurance must have expired.

posted by dbt302 at 11:53 PM on March 09

Links to this post: -MC Hammer is an idiot Word.

posted by thatweirdguy2 at 12:29 AM on March 10

What pricks sports fans are......not to be a killjoy, but I think that this Barry-bashing is getting a little redundant....It's good to see that someone is behind him!....(yes, I'm a Bonds apologist, but I couldn't resist that one!)

posted by Dobbstown at 12:30 AM on March 10

It is a shame that sports has come down to cheating & laying....... Maybe sports is "Boot Camp" for politics .... Barry good luck with your future carrier

posted by RRNoe at 05:59 AM on March 10

Where have all the Americans gone? If it were you you sniveling pukes you would cry and then you'd seek the words that make this nation unique. "We are innocent until proven guilty." There is only hearsay which is inadmissable in our courts.

posted by k-i-smet at 06:03 AM on March 10

Hey, hands up everybody who's ever been GM of a major league team. Hmm, just MC Hammer (who was GM of the As at 13, no lie).

posted by yerfatma at 07:02 AM on March 10

Where have all the Americans gone? If it were you you sniveling pukes you would cry and then you'd seek the words that make this nation unique. "We are innocent until proven guilty." There is only hearsay which is inadmissable in our courts. The last I checked k-i-smet, this forum is not part of our judicial system. This is merely a court of public opinion. And dare I say............hearsay appears to count. One more thing......Who ya crappin?

posted by panteeze at 07:26 AM on March 10

I'm wary of the opinions of a man who blew through multiple millions and signed with Death Row records after Tupac and Biggie were killed (coughSugeKnightcough). That is not a smart man.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 07:54 AM on March 10

Again I ask, "Where have all the Americans gone." It is this ease with which we dispense of our civil liberties that carries into every aspect of our dimishished stature. I wouldn't crap you, your my favorite turd.

posted by k-i-smet at 08:00 AM on March 10

You do realize that the bill of rights only applies to the US Government, and MLB isn't part of the government. Innocent until proven guilty doesn't apply in baseball or the court of public opinion. Besides, according to leaked grand jury testimony Bonds admitted to taking "flaxseed oil" which was administered in the exact same fashion as the Clear, which isn't how you'd normally take flaxseed oil anyway. Oh, and several witnesses corroborating a story is more than just hearsay. Bonds is a cheat. He may have belonged in the Hall of Fame before steroids, but afterwards he no longer does. I hope he, and all the other juicers, are banned.

posted by apoch at 08:11 AM on March 10

Bonds isn't a cheat. It wasn't against the rules. There were no rules. And we're ALL cheats. It's a great American tradition. Ask the Indians (not Cleveland). (Careful the fall from your particular high horse would kill the Jolly Green Giant.)

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 08:17 AM on March 10

It is a shame that sports has come down to cheating & laying... Thought laying was one of the "fringe benefits" myself... Maybe sports is "Boot Camp" for politics .... Barry good luck with your future carrier. Is there a "boot camp" for spelling? I kid because I care.

posted by thatweirdguy2 at 08:23 AM on March 10

Shoeless Joe was found not guilty in the criminal case and was banned from baseball for life. Joe is long dead, the ban should be lifted and he should be in the hall of fame. Barry Bonds should be banned for life and once he is dead and gone then we can put him in the hall of fame too.

posted by thechief at 08:55 AM on March 10

Bonds isn't a cheat. It wasn't against the rules. There were no rules. Is that really true? I really don't get the rules argument. Weren't steroids illegal in general?

posted by justgary at 09:02 AM on March 10

Go back now and read the comments from "Darth Chaucer" -- this guy needs his own show.

posted by wfrazerjr at 09:16 AM on March 10

Has a discussion topic jumped the shark when MC Hammer checks in with his opinion?

posted by ChiSox1977 at 09:37 AM on March 10

justgary - well I'll be damned. It's pretty clearly in the rules, though there appears to be no set disciplinary schedule. However, the broader view is that MLB knew all about the use of steriods for a long time and chose to not to anything about it - chicks dig the long ball - and now is in a position where they have to hang those they previously quietly ignored. There's just way too much hypocracy at work in all of this for me to stomach the think-free label of "He's a cheater let's ban him."

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 09:48 AM on March 10

I really don't get the rules argument. Weren't steroids illegal in general? So is driving over the speed limit, but baseball didn't have anything in their rules to punish players who were caught speeding. Same with using steroids, it may have been illegal in the outside world, but there were no rules about it in baseball. (Distinguishing the fact that being "juiced" in and of itself is not illegal. However, owning the drugs, selling the drugs, or giving the drugs to friends IS illegal.)

posted by grum@work at 09:48 AM on March 10

Not guilt until proven otherwise. Where did he fail a drug test? He has passed every test given him!

posted by Aggie1 at 09:56 AM on March 10

wait. didn't we just have this discussion? Hammer now joins Sheryl Crow, the French, and Michael Moore on the shit list.

posted by JohnSFO at 10:39 AM on March 10

Not guilty until proven otherwise only applies in a court of law. We can believe he is guilty and if you believe hes not on steroids youre a fool. The man is a cheat and a fraud and he has made a mockery of the game and has become rich by cheating. (as have many others) & BTW baseball players dont get an advantage by breaking the speed limit in their cars so thats just dumb analogy. He didnt fail tests because he was taking masking agents to prevent positive tests.

posted by Underdog at 10:50 AM on March 10

justgary - well I'll be damned. It's pretty clearly in the rules, though there appears to be no set disciplinary schedule. I agree. I was really curious if what I linked to was correct (or fake). I hadn't heard anything about it until yesterday on bostondirtdogs.

posted by justgary at 11:00 AM on March 10

Can steroids enable you to hit a 95-98mph fast ball in baseball? I am just curious about that one. Doesn't a player need to develop that skill regardless of taking steroids or not? Does steroids give you Terminator vision so that you can track and analyze the velocity of the ball and at what agnle it apporaches the plate?

posted by bkdet at 11:22 AM on March 10

BTW baseball players dont get an advantage by breaking the speed limit in their cars so thats just dumb analogy. He didnt fail tests because he was taking masking agents to prevent positive tests. No, it's not a dumb analogy. It's just that you are applying it to the wrong complaint. The analogy was about breaking the law outside of the game (and for which there were no rules again inside the game) and being punished inside the game. I never said that breaking the law had anything to do with performance in the game. That was just your (misguided) assumption.

posted by grum@work at 11:23 AM on March 10

Shame the Bambino's mark will soon be passed by a bigoted cheater. Marital cheater, career cheater and a liar. He won't make it physically to Aaron's mark, the body is reclaiming itself. I am baffled by the Bay Area fans who seem to be rallying behind him. Who are these people? I used to be one of them. I don't know them anymore. Selig is weak, period. Congress needs to call Barry up to the Hill and put him under oath although it does appear he has his lie well rehearsed. Poor baseball, poor Babe!

posted by mikemora at 11:31 AM on March 10

I blame Selig for Bonds as much as Bonds himself. Remember '98? McGwire and Sosa hitting balls that may not have landed yet? You think Selig really wanted to tell them to stop taking whatever they were taking? Hell no, he wanted them to bring baseball fans back to the game. Now he is stuck dealing with the monster that he himself helped to create.

posted by sublime4390116 at 11:47 AM on March 10

I gotta be honest - I don't really care if Barry or anyone else used steroids, nor do I put much stock into the effect they have on the record books. Comparisons between modern day numbers and the numbers of yesteryear are faulty in nature because they discount many many variables, of which performance enhancing drugs are only one. That said, what really pisses me off are the shortsighted individuals who are so quick to label others as foolish simply because they question the findings of profiteers and reserve judgment until the facts come out. And when I say "facts," for those who don't understand the term, I mean hard physical evidence, not just anything that appears in print.

posted by MW12 at 11:56 AM on March 10

justgary - well I'll be damned. It's pretty clearly in the rules, though there appears to be no set disciplinary schedule. Hmm, I didn't expect anything interesting to actually happen in this thread, but ... Anyway, the policy justgary linked to would definitely cover steroids, since they are 'illegal.' However, it's also clearly not about PEDs -- check out the list of substances tested for on page 3. So the use of steroids, as illegal drugs, was prohibited by baseball. The use of steroids, as performance enhancers, was not. The issue of 'disciplinary schedule' then becomes an important one. It would be the height of hypocrisy for MLB to point to this policy and kick Bonds out of baseball, or take away his records, or make him ineligible for the Hall of Fame. How many other players ran afoul of this policy by using cocaine, amphetamines, heroin? And what punishments did they receive?

posted by Amateur at 11:57 AM on March 10

I blame Selig for Bonds as much as Bonds himself. Absolutely! Lots of people have gotten rich by pretending not to see. Where would Dusty Baker be if not for Bary Bands and Sammy Sosa out of a job thats where. And Tony La Russa (McGwire & Canseco helped him launch) his career) and the players agents and the owners of the teams. What I dont understand is why the "clean" players arent out o solve the problem as they lose starting positions, jobs and $$$$ to the cheaters. Instead they keep their mouths shut. Of course TV networks and ESPN make money from covering the homerun chases too. And then when the story breaks they make money from covering the "scandal" Funny huh? And with regard to "facts" Bonds' change in appearance is a fact in and of itself on which i can make my own judgment as are personal eyewitnesses to him taking the stuff. But if you need your type of facts he would have to use it in your presence I guess.

posted by Underdog at 12:01 PM on March 10

It crosses my mind that just about every professional athlete entering the twilight of his career is considerably larger than he once was. Does that mean all professional athletes take steroids? Did Jordan? Or Magic? What about Hammerin Hank and the Babe? They were much bigger in their final years than they had been earlier in their careers?

posted by MW12 at 12:18 PM on March 10

And we're ALL cheats. It's a great American tradition. Ask the Indians (not Cleveland). (Careful the fall from your particular high horse would kill the Jolly Green Giant.) Aren't you Canadian? It is a shame that sports has come down to cheating & laying... Thought laying was one of the "fringe benefits" myself... The early bird catches the worm. I SO wanted that joke. Diggity. Murder isn't against baseball's rules, but you don't see too many players taking advantage of that loophole (more a football thing - KIDDING). People who break the laws are punished by the courts, and people who break baseball rules are punished by the league. When someone breaks a law, baseball MAY execute some kind of punishment (by way of a character clause or something, see: Sidney Ponson). If somebody breaks a baseball rule, many lawyers run to Spo-Fi to dump on the guy, but that's about the extent of it from a legal standpoint. My point is, baseball is not in the business of, nor does it have any interest in, enforcing the nation's laws -- only it's own (though the two do sometimes coincide). IF Bonds took steroids, and there was no rule in baseball against them, then MLB would have no more impetus to "strip him of his records" or "ban him for life" than if he cheated on his taxes. If Bonds was convicted right now of certain steroid use in, say, 2001, and there was no baseball rule against it (notwithstanding justgary's new information -- I'm just stating why I think the "it wasn't a rule" argument may have been valid up to this point), I think it is highly unlikely he would be punished by MLB. At worst, short suspension and a fine, but if it was long ago, probably nothing. If there was a baseball rule against it, I think it's a different issue altogether, and MLB would THEN have to address it.

posted by BullpenPro at 12:26 PM on March 10

bkdet-steroids wouldn't make you better at tracking a fast ball. bonds was a great hitter before the juice. the advantage the roids gave was his ability to muscle the hits over the fence that would normally die deep in the outfield.

posted by ksb122 at 12:26 PM on March 10

Aren't you Canadian? Yes, I didn't mean to infer otherwise (I do have some Yank blood, but it hardly should count)- we're cheats too, eh? I won't name a specific case, but I'll give you a hint - it rhymes with "En Johnson".

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 12:38 PM on March 10

I won't name a specific case, but I'll give you a hint - it rhymes with "En Johnson". Weedy, you are not referring to that Jamaican-born sprinter, are you?

posted by Amateur at 12:53 PM on March 10

I won't name a specific case, but I'll give you a hint - it rhymes with "En Johnson". Sven Jonson?

posted by NoMich at 12:55 PM on March 10

Sven Jonson? A joke so bad you owe me dinner at the Angus Barn. Let justice be succulent!

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 01:32 PM on March 10

Put an asterick next to all records generated in the 1930s by players who had a drink during prohibition. Hammer, You Can't Touch This

posted by rxreed at 01:56 PM on March 10

Shame the Bambino's mark will soon be passed by a bigoted cheater. Marital cheater, career cheater and a liar. Yes, what a shame Barry will soon surpass the achievements of that modern-day Sir Galahad, Babe Ruth.

posted by yerfatma at 02:05 PM on March 10

Base Ball brought this upon themselves. This is just the end result of years of greed. Bonds will forever be known as the greatest steroid user ever. There will be no bigger asterisk that that.

posted by TOASTY POSTY at 02:21 PM on March 10

Yes, what a shame Barry will soon surpass the achievements of that modern-day Sir Galahad, Babe Ruth. A HA!! You said Sir Galahad!! Let the Python references derail commence! "Look, let me go back in there and face the peril?"

posted by lilnemo at 02:24 PM on March 10

A joke so bad you owe me dinner at the Angus Barn. Let justice be succulent! Holy crap, the Anus Barn! Even I have never eaten there. I know it's a Raleigh institution, but I have never had the desire to eat there. Don't know why.

posted by NoMich at 02:34 PM on March 10

The bottom line here is that if you like Barry Bonds, you will spin your arguments in favor of him and if you don't like him, well................. Personally, I don't like the guy. I find him to be aloof, arrogant and indignant. But the steroids did not make him a great baseball player, he had the skills before the roids. The roids allowed him to get some extra yardage on his hits. Baseball should allow steroids and have a roid home run distance of 800 ft. They should have a roid hall of fame too. And there should be a roid Olympics. Why do so many people care so much about a record anyway? Remember the scene from the Ten Commandments at the end of the movie. The jews turned on Moses and made a gold statue out of ignorance. The gold statue in modern day represents sports records, trophies, academy awards, etc. Its so sad. By the way, can anyone on this forum come out and say they have never cheated on anything in their life? By anything, I mean playing games as a kid, sports, work, etc...... If you can, you have my vote for the next President of the United States.

posted by panteeze at 03:25 PM on March 10

panteeze - are you Dave Zirin in disguise? :-)

posted by owlhouse at 03:31 PM on March 10

Personally, I don't like the guy. I find him to be aloof, arrogant and indignant. ... as presented by the media, since it's probably unlikely you've ever actually spent any time with Barry Bonds.

posted by grum@work at 03:41 PM on March 10

Pete Rose must be feeling pretty good about himself right now!

posted by INOALOSER at 03:50 PM on March 10

.. as presented by the media, since it's probably unlikely you've ever actually spent any time with Barry Bonds. Grum, I can say I have never spent any time with Barry. I am basing my opinion from interviews I have seen on TV and quotes from news articles which I might add were presented by the media. I really did not know the media was controlling Barry's mind and making him speak. I marvel at today's technological advances. I feel duped now.

posted by panteeze at 04:07 PM on March 10

as presented by the media, since it's probably unlikely you've ever actually spent any time with Barry Bonds. You know, I didn't spend much time with Mother Teresa, so all those nice things I heard about her are most likely horseshit too. Sometimes, in the face of a mountain of anecdotal evidence, you just have to say the guy's a dickhead and move on.

posted by wfrazerjr at 04:29 PM on March 10

all those nice things I heard about her are most likely horseshit too On Mother Teresa, at least, Christopher Hitchens would agree with that.

posted by owlhouse at 04:38 PM on March 10

I really did not know the media was controlling Barry's mind and making him speak. I marvel at today's technological advances. I feel duped now. Did you really not think that through? You do realize that the media can control what you see and hear, right? If all you see are negative (positive) things about a person, you tend to get a skewed view of reality. You know, I didn't spend much time with Mother Teresa, so all those nice things I heard about her are most likely horseshit too. You obviously didn't hear the inside story of when she hung out with Greg Maddux for a week. When Maddux saw what she was capable of, he weeped in fear.

posted by grum@work at 05:07 PM on March 10

The media are masters of the Jedi Mind Trick...

posted by wingnut4life at 05:30 PM on March 10

Did you really not think that through? You do realize that the media can control what you see and hear, right? If all you see are negative (positive) things about a person, you tend to get a skewed view of reality. Wow, and I thought the drugs were skewing my view of reality. Thanks for clearing that up for me all wise and knowing grum. By the way, have you spent any time with members of the media? You surely must have based on the media bashing your slinging.

posted by panteeze at 05:50 PM on March 10

owlhouse, you beat me to it. Such an odd person for Hitchens to have a hard-on about.

posted by yerfatma at 06:05 PM on March 10

By the way, have you spent any time with members of the media? You surely must have based on the media bashing your slinging. Are you trying to be funny, because it's not really working out for you in this instance. Everyone "spends time" with the media if they watch TV, read a newspaper, listen to the radio or visit a website. I'm not "bashing" the media, I'm simply stating a fact. Unless you actually run a media empire on your own, you don't get a say in what is presented to you. It's entirely controlled by other people and the choices made on what you see/hear are not yours. Examples: cute white girls go missing, and that's all you'll hear about for days on end. Shark attack in the early summer, and suddenly it's an 'epidemic' and we hear about them all the time. Information about a government coverup, and half the media plays it up to the hilt and the other half buries it on the "back page". Genocide in Darfur, and..well...none of the major media outlets want to talk about that, now do they?

posted by grum@work at 08:15 PM on March 10

grum, you're threading dangerous waters here, talking about a genocide to support your view that maybe Bonds is a nice guy after all. You've won the statistical proof debates many times over. Maybe it's time to let go of the "is Bonds an asshole or not?" debate. Does it really matter that much?

posted by qbert72 at 08:53 PM on March 10

So you support the current Sudanese administration?

posted by yerfatma at 09:15 PM on March 10

Oh how the postings here evolve!

posted by ayankeefan at 11:36 PM on March 10

grum, you're threading dangerous waters here, talking about a genocide to support your view that maybe Bonds is a nice guy after all. Yeah, I'll admit I'm walking a bit far out on the pier, but it was more for the "media controlled viewpoint" angle more than the "Bonds is a dick" angle. It was the most extreme version of "uncovered" news I could think of at the time. I guess my "defence" of Bonds' "assholishness" might stem from the fact that he seems to get a lot of heat from the press/fans for things that other players do without problems. Wait, I think I can narrow it down even more. I think Rick Reilly is a real dickhead for his hatchet job pieces he does on Barry Bonds. I'll finish this by saying that I think that Bonds probably is an asshole to some people, but that the media really overplays (or feeds it, even) more than they should.

posted by grum@work at 12:56 AM on March 11

OK Grum, you don't like the media and I don't like Bonds. Don't use my comments as your pulpit to preach to us your disdain for mass media. The media did not influence my opinion of Bonds, I can make my own decisions. And I don't have to spend time with Bonds to have an opinion of him, an opinion that can be good or bad.

posted by panteeze at 01:29 AM on March 11

Barry and I were sitting up last night playing cards, smoking Krakatoa cigarettes he got from some guy named Greg, and drinking Hennessey straight out of the bottle...I asked him what he thought about this whole mess, and he said you guys should just chill the fuck out. Then we called some hookers.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 07:22 AM on March 11

"assholishness" I like that, grum. Can you use that in other forms, too? Like maybe "The Royal Penis is clean, your assholishness." That is awesome! And for the record, the media does have a very influential impact on everybody's thought process. They have the ability to cause outrage on a whim, and they can glorify at will. Just look at what they did to this thread. And Bonds is still a dick...

posted by wingnut4life at 08:27 AM on March 11

Jim Rome says Barry is guilty. For the record I think Jim Rome is an dickhead. Also for the record I agree with Jim Rome about Barry. :o)

posted by Steeler_Fan at 09:14 AM on March 11

So you support the current Sudanese administration? Nice!

posted by qbert72 at 01:36 PM on March 11

The media did not influence my opinion of Bonds, I can make my own decisions. And I don't have to spend time with Bonds to have an opinion of him, an opinion that can be good or bad. If you didn't get your opinion from the media where did you get it from? Unless you've met Barry then the only contact you've had with him is generated by the media.

posted by tron7 at 12:52 AM on March 12

Someone said. "It's not (steroids) or wasn't cheating before. It is now. Since 2002. I think Babyface owes Pujols at least 2 MVPs for 2003 & 2004. Barry Bonds is one of the biggest Jack-wads ever to play baseball. I think every player in the top 5 of any Baseball Stats should be tested every week. I think Bonds should be checked everyday this year. I mean if he's not cheating he should hit 50 Home runs easy. We can see how he does without the DOPE! I hate cheaters! Even our Brother Hammering Hank thinks Bonds is a joke. "I won't be at 755 or 756." Said Hank Aaron in 2005. Hank also said "I don't mind losing this record. That's what Baseball is all about. But to lose it to someone cheating really hurts."

posted by St.Louis Sandi at 10:45 AM on March 12

If you didn't get your opinion from the media where did you get it from? Unless you've met Barry then the only contact you've had with him is generated by the media. So if I see a clip of Barry speaking on tv that means the media influenced me? Does the media tell Barry what to say?

posted by panteeze at 02:02 PM on March 12

So if I see a clip of Barry speaking on tv that means the media influenced me? Well they did ask him the question and edit the clip so yes they did influence what you saw. If you want to ignore the fa... nevermind.

posted by tron7 at 10:58 PM on March 12

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