April 05, 2005

Dirty Bird: Mike Vick is being sued for giving a woman herpes.

posted by mick to football at 08:38 PM - 34 comments

He shoots ... she sores!

posted by wfrazerjr at 08:52 PM on April 05, 2005

May I just say: best thread title ever.

posted by dusted at 10:29 PM on April 05, 2005

That headline made me laugh out loud.

posted by blarp at 11:28 PM on April 05, 2005

Don't forget the stolen watch. Fun guy.

posted by yerfatma at 06:18 AM on April 06, 2005

Thank you, thank you folks. All be here all day... hitting refresh.

posted by mick at 06:43 AM on April 06, 2005

the sad part about the guy with the watch is that he didn't even get to see it under the x-ray.

posted by gspm at 07:35 AM on April 06, 2005

This is one of those stories that just keeps on giving. I hate it when my posse steals gifts for me instead of spending the money they've mooched for being my friends. With apologies to the real Ron Mexico, I would like to propose his name as a new euphemism for any situation where you'd like to take a do-over after sex with a disreputable person: I've been seeing Ron Mexico.

posted by rcade at 08:49 AM on April 06, 2005

Fastest. Herpes. Ever.

posted by 86 at 08:59 AM on April 06, 2005

I propose settling this the old-fashioned way -- by simply busting a cap in someone's ass.

posted by wfrazerjr at 10:36 AM on April 06, 2005

Or: "it burns when I pee, time for a stop at the Ron Mexico clinic..." "free Penicillin and Valtrex to the first five people who show up and say: Ron Mexico sent me..."

posted by chris2sy at 10:37 AM on April 06, 2005

So, does Vick do a Valtrex endorsement now?

posted by chris2sy at 10:39 AM on April 06, 2005

Some very cute comments.. I am just sad that many people seem to takes sexaully tramsmitted deseases so lightly. I giving no moral arguement here guys, just voicing my opinion..

posted by daddisamm at 11:22 AM on April 06, 2005

Oh, lighten up Francis.

posted by dusted at 11:44 AM on April 06, 2005

Gives new meaning to the ol' "bump and grind", doesn't it?

posted by rocketman at 11:47 AM on April 06, 2005

It does happen, I remember when Magic Johnson got sued in a similar claim...and they do have a point on the consent issue. Probably not too many people would consent to sex (unprotected or otherwise) with someone if they were casually informed beforehand: "by the way I have HIV" or "by the way I have herpes." It actually reminds me of the old hairpiece/herpes Cheech & Chong bit...

posted by chris2sy at 12:00 PM on April 06, 2005

Sounds like she's a sore loser STD's are only not funny when they happen to you. Rest of the time, comedy gold.

posted by mick at 12:35 PM on April 06, 2005

...think of them as God's way of punishing the sexually active.

posted by garfield at 12:42 PM on April 06, 2005

I remember when Vernon Maxwell got tagged for this a few years back. Currently in Toronto, Morris Peterson has been accused of the same. Hey, it's going around. (ba-dum-cha!) In other news, Jose Canseco was formally charged with knowingly giving someone a headache.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 12:44 PM on April 06, 2005

Soregasm: The Ron Mexico Story.

posted by chris2sy at 01:14 PM on April 06, 2005

Finally, someone actually catches something from Michael Vick! Brian Finneran, take note.

posted by dfleming at 02:10 PM on April 06, 2005

So, does Vick do a Valtrex endorsement now?<b valtrex comercials--they are the stupidest things on TV. Pretty much glorifies the lifestyle that give you the STD in the first place. They are even more stupid than the Viagra comercials!

posted by daddisamm at 02:42 PM on April 06, 2005

And she's a health care worker. Maybe she thought he was a virgin? You know, it's tough to meet girls when you're an NFL quarterback.

posted by justgary at 02:55 PM on April 06, 2005

I am just sad that many people seem to takes sexaully tramsmitted deseases so lightly Don't be such a sorehead.

posted by rcade at 02:56 PM on April 06, 2005

Finally, someone actually catches something from Michael Vick! Holy shit, that's the funniest thing I've read all week. Thanks, but you owe me a new monitor. I just got done with a round of Valtrex thanks to a nice case of the shingles. Those damn things are bigger than footballs.

posted by NoMich at 03:13 PM on April 06, 2005

Those damn things are bigger than footballs Hopefully Valtrex is not a suppository.

posted by chris2sy at 03:23 PM on April 06, 2005

I wonder if he was planning on attending the NFL Cheerleaders/dancers convention.

posted by rainbaby at 03:32 PM on April 06, 2005

Hopefully Valtrex is not a suppository. That would've made me sad if they were suppositories.

posted by NoMich at 03:37 PM on April 06, 2005

I also laughed at "Sounds like she's a sore loser". Don't know if you meant it mick but like you said "comedy gold"

posted by Ricardo at 03:44 PM on April 06, 2005

I am just sad that many people seem to takes sexaully tramsmitted deseases so lightly Don't be such a sorehead. posted by rcade at 2:56 PM CST on April 6 Sorehead? Me? I am just stating fact-people do take STd's lightly.......

posted by daddisamm at 01:45 AM on April 07, 2005

What response were you looking for, Dad -- inconsolable wailing interspersed with cries of "why, God, why?"

posted by rcade at 06:04 AM on April 07, 2005

Ron Mexico would have wanted us to laugh.

posted by mayerkyl at 08:12 AM on April 07, 2005

-- inconsolable wailing interspersed with cries of "why, God, why?" naw too dramatic!

posted by daddisamm at 08:54 AM on April 07, 2005

I certainly hope for his sake, he kept his Nike's on.It will make for one cool comercial!

posted by volfire at 09:03 AM on April 07, 2005

You guys are on fire. But not as much as her.

posted by ZDYOLDMAN at 10:38 AM on April 07, 2005

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