This is your ballplayer and this is your ballplayer on 'roids. Any questions?: I knew the 'riods are supposed to make your testes shrink, but I didn't know they made ya grow boobs too!
posted by commander cody to baseball at 09:36 PM - 57 comments
I didn't know they made ya grow boobs too! i think they're called bitch tits.
posted by goddam at 10:14 PM on February 28
posted by commander cody at 10:18 PM on February 28
A whopping $337.
posted by charlatan at 10:34 PM on February 28
A whopping $337. Well, $322 of that was what they chipped in for the wig -- Bonds is allergic to human hair.
posted by BullpenPro at 10:43 PM on February 28
Boy, this Bonds guy sure does seem like a mean guy. I hear he's a real cancer in the dressing room and nobody likes him at all. I understand that he doesn't do anything for anyone else and is very self-centred. /sarcasm
posted by grum@work at 11:14 PM on February 28
looks like they could use that hat to cover the field at sbc when it rains.
posted by ninjavshippo at 11:22 PM on February 28
At one point in the video I saw on ESPN, he pulled the top down. Barry has some serious man boobs. Must be a by-product of the roids.
posted by dbt302 at 11:34 PM on February 28
There goes Grum, trolling with his pro-Bonds rhetoric again... /sarcasm goddam owes us an apology for making us look at that photo. Yecch.
posted by BullpenPro at 11:38 PM on February 28
Boy, this Bonds guy sure does seem like a mean guy. Guy? GUY!!! That's a guy!!! Kerist I'd better zip back up!! LOL! I used to hang at some of the strip clubs in Scottsdale when I lived there and I think I say her...or him...or it...or whatever. Hard to tell as it was topless only and thems some tig ol bitties.
posted by commander cody at 11:59 PM on February 28
Maybe he wants to become a lady.
posted by Joe88 at 12:02 AM on March 01
Nah, he doesn't want to become a lady. But since the GPS locater is now out of the question, he has decided that following her int o the ladies' room is the next best think......He was UNDERCOVER......
posted by elovrich at 12:20 AM on March 01
Baroid Bonds. Silly dude, but when the roids make one's balls shrink and the pee pee go flat might as well wear a dress.
posted by T$PORT4lawschool at 01:11 AM on March 01
I am shocked to be in a position of defending Bonds, but give me a break. I am glad to see that he has a sense of humor about himself and is willing to act goofy at a team event. I'd much rather read about Bonds acting like a clown than about him doing something insulting again. Good for him. Also, if I ever meet a woman that looks like that in a bar, I am going to hide under the table until she leaves. A table in the next county, to be specific.
posted by Joey Michaels at 01:39 AM on March 01
What was Serena Williams doing at the Giants facility? Is she a baseball fan?
posted by wolfdad at 07:30 AM on March 01
Does anyone find it to be a coincidence that Barry pull this uncharacteristic stunt on the first day of filming of his ESPN reality series? Smells more like a marketing ploy, than a truely selfless act of helping team chemistry.
posted by upy3rz at 08:17 AM on March 01
Not to defend Barry, but I think most of us wuold like to be famous and make big $. The reality is that being famous is so overrated that you couldn't believe it. (Not that I am famous, but trust me, I know) The guy can't leave his house without someone wanting to talk to him whether it be a reporter or a fan or some hustler. I really always wanted to be famous myself, until I met some folks who were. That maybe the last thing I would ever wish on someone. A$$ or not, I believe I would want people to leave me alone too (Sports reporters can be obnoxious and they do ask Stupid questions sometimes.)
posted by Wrigley South at 08:18 AM on March 01
I'd have to say that I am very impressed that Bonds would even do this. After I stopped laughing and got off of the floor, I realized that this was THE Barry Bonds and he dressed up like Paula Abdul for charity. Kudos, Barry.
posted by wingnut4life at 08:35 AM on March 01
There is absolutely no doubt that Bonds dressed up as Paula for the first day filming of his ESPN reality series...period. Trying to spin it as though he is trying to help team chemistry is a joke. Bonds cares only about himself. TV ratings were on his mind.
posted by Knoxba24 at 08:58 AM on March 01
Give the man a break. He showed he's got a sense of humor and he raised a few bucks for charity- what's so sinister about that? Seems like everything he does has to have a conspiracy theory attached.
posted by Bury Bonds at 09:15 AM on March 01
no kiddin, bury. far to many Bonds articles
posted by mjkredliner at 09:31 AM on March 01
Not to defend Barry, but I think most of us wuold like to be famous and make big $. Big $? 377 dollars? What was Serena Williams doing at the Giants facility? Is she a baseball fan? I knew she looked familar! It threw me because her arms have gotten so much thinner and her boobs bigger! Not nicer, just bigger.
posted by commander cody at 09:31 AM on March 01
One reason why Bonds is such a douche to the media is evident in this thread. No matter what he does, he'll get criticized. If he's a dick, he's criticized. If he's a sweetheart, he's criticized. If he's somewhere in the middle, guess what, he's criticized. The reason being famous sucks is because, in general, people suck. And when you're famous, you're forced to deal with a lot of people. I'd hate to be famous.
posted by DudeDykstra at 09:32 AM on March 01
Sports reporters can be obnoxious and they do ask Stupid questions sometimes. I'd heard my ex-wife had got a new job. Who would have thought it was in sports reporting?
posted by commander cody at 09:42 AM on March 01
Cody, Not to defend Barry, but I think most of us wuold like to be famous and make big $. Big $? 377 dollars? I was referring to the 7 mil a year or whatever it is that Barry gets paid.
posted by Wrigley South at 10:24 AM on March 01
LOL...I know...I was just kidding. I'm an incurable smart ass. Just ask any of my ex-wives or the various law enforcement officers I've run into over the years. Some of them have sense of humor at all.
posted by commander cody at 10:45 AM on March 01
I like the fact that the Giants organization matched the $377 for charity - now that's a generous organization. Oh, it's good to see Rob Schneider's career is hitting its zenith with this gig...
posted by ChiSox1977 at 10:50 AM on March 01
Sometimes it's hard to be a woman.
posted by JJ at 11:21 AM on March 01
Sometimes it's hard to be a woman. Tell me about it. I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body...
posted by wingnut4life at 11:23 AM on March 01
Damn, tough crowd but I guess haters are like that. The guy's a team player regardless of what the Jealousy Corps here thinks or says. He's also one of the greatest ballplayers of all times, again, regardless of what the Jealousy Corps here thinks or says. He took part in the fun knowing that jerks like in this thread would ridicule him but you know what? He doesn't care in the least what a bunch of haters think. And for that, I have an awful lot of respect for him.
posted by fenriq at 11:24 AM on March 01
There's no crying in baseball...
posted by wingnut4life at 11:44 AM on March 01
It's unfair to bash Bonds for being an ass, just because he's one of the best baseball players of all time doesn't mean he has to be a nice guy because we want him to be. But (this all being hearsay because I've never been on a baseball team with Barry Bonds) from all the reports and everything you see, he's not a team player. Not even close. Doesn't he have his own section of the locker room different from everyone else? Complete with leather chair and all that? I could be making this up.
posted by smg at 11:48 AM on March 01
I could be making this up. Thanks for the heads up.
posted by qbert72 at 11:55 AM on March 01
I was looking for some validation qbert. Thanks for the comment.
posted by smg at 12:02 PM on March 01
I'm not sure if the last paragraph here holds any water, but I've heard this before. A take on BB's reality show from Ron Borges.
posted by smg at 12:11 PM on March 01
A-Rod is the only true great power hitter in baseball. Remember i said great not good great.
posted by tool2310 at 12:13 PM on March 01
I was looking for some validationone else to do my research for me qbert. That's more like it. And on preview I see you just did some yourself. Good on you, mate! (The ads in your first link are killing me, though. /nitpicking) In my not so humble opinion, Barry Bonds and everything surrounding him has now reached the status of an urban legend. Everyone and their sister knows someone who knows someone who has a story to tell about how Barry is/is not an ass. Me, I just want to see him play ball again.
posted by qbert72 at 12:15 PM on March 01
That kind of behavior, Keating notes, led Sports Illustrated writer Rick Reilly to speculate that "Someday they'll be able to hold Bonds' funeral in a fitting room." Rick Reilly has had a hate-on for Bonds ever since he got snubbed by the slugger for an interview early in his career. In a particularly bad hatchet-job, Reilly criticized Bonds for skipping a team photo, and as a comparison mentioned that super-great-guy Jeff Kent was there for the photo. Of course, no mention was made of the previous two seasons when BOTH of them skipped the team photos...
posted by grum@work at 01:00 PM on March 01
Remember i said great not good great. What???
posted by Termite at 01:04 PM on March 01
He took part in the fun knowing that jerks like in this thread would ridicule him but you know what? He doesn't care in the least what a bunch of haters think. People who speak with authority on the private thoughts of celebrities creep me out. Jennifer Aniston broke up with Brad Pitt because she mistakenly heard that I was available.
posted by rcade at 01:10 PM on March 01
Jennifer Aniston broke up with Brad Pitt because she mistakenly heard that I was available. Brad Pitt canceled his wedding with Angelina for the same reason.
posted by qbert72 at 01:24 PM on March 01
While you guys are at it, could you let Ashley Judd know I'm available.
posted by njsk8r20 at 01:32 PM on March 01
I think Bonds is a good great player no matter what anybody says.
posted by gspm at 01:41 PM on March 01
Way to get out on that limb.
posted by yerfatma at 01:49 PM on March 01
I think Bonds is a good great player no matter what anybody says. Does that average out as not too bad?
posted by commander cody at 02:29 PM on March 01
I am so tired of the endless debate on Bonds' attitude that I am not going to comment on it anymore. Aw, shit. Can't win for losing (just like Barry!).
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 02:59 PM on March 01
People who speak with authority on the private thoughts of celebrities creep me out. Here is a direct quote from fenriq's profile (the one who made that original post) Jim Palmer was pitching and Rod Carew was at the plate, I was looking elsewhere when Carew hit a foul ball into the stands. It hit me square in the back of the head As you can see, maybe that ball jarred his brains and gave him the psychic powers that allow him to see into the minds of celebrities.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 03:03 PM on March 01
I don't remember seeing Carew hit a ball hard enough to jar someone's brains. Seriously, the guy looked like he was soft-tossing the ball into the outfield. He was amazing.
posted by BullpenPro at 03:09 PM on March 01
I'd have to come down on the side of Barry busy pimping his new reality show. For a guy who by all counts is about as friendly as jock itch, it just seems a little too convenient that he suddenly shows up in a wig and wants to be Mr. Happy. Come to think of it, he already is Mr. Happy.
posted by wfrazerjr at 03:24 PM on March 01
not only that bullpenpro, the guy had a legendary batting stance.
posted by ninjavshippo at 03:27 PM on March 01
While you guys are at it, could you let Ashley Judd know I'm available Woah, suddenly I'm a Kentucky Hockey fan!!!
posted by wingnut4life at 03:41 PM on March 01
rcade, would you rather I read his dog's mind and let you know what's happening in Barryland from his perspective? I'm not reading his mind. Its obvious. He doesn't care, no star really gives a damn what the wee people think. Its background noise to the chorus of ego-fluffer remoras that surround the rich, famous and powerful. But he probably is pimping some for his reality show. So what, don't watch it. It can't be a fraction as horrid as The Brit and K-Fed.
posted by fenriq at 05:34 PM on March 01
posted by justgary at 07:44 PM on March 01
K-fed, what you've just done is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
posted by jojomfd1 at 06:15 AM on March 02
They do say to sing about what you know (and note that I could only stand about five seconds of that trash). I am hopeful that someone will tell me that it was a joke on him but its too believable.
posted by fenriq at 11:54 AM on March 02
Guess what song I now can't get out of my head. AARGH! Ninja -- that's a classic. I like Roy White's, too. (Image not found -- Google you have failed me!) ...Peanut Butter Jelly Time... Peanut Butter Jelly Time... Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat... DAMMIT!
posted by BullpenPro at 12:06 PM on March 02
But he probably is pimping some for his reality show. If you read the link you'd know it kind of already happened... ...Peanut Butter Jelly Time... Peanut Butter Jelly Time... Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat... DAMMIT! But have you ever seen a skit preformed to that song in which pb&j sandwiches were hit with baseball bats, one of which slamming into an unsuspecting persons face? It must of hurt but I will tresure that memory for a while.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 02:38 PM on March 02
QuickTime video, please?
posted by BullpenPro at 11:16 PM on March 05
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