January 30, 2008

How soccer explains the US elections. : Hillary (Hillisco is her Brazilian soccer name) would win by a mile. Soccer cred includes playing on her high school varsity team, and soccer team-named daughter Chelsea also playing soccer. Highlights include pic of Bill Clinton (Clintosa!) playing soccer with Pele, and video of Chuck Norris, greatest soccer player in the world.

read story | posted by worldcup2002 to Soccer at 6:16 PM CDT (54 comments total)

I love the Presidents XI teams in the comments section, however I'm not sure if the Nobby Stiles references will be understood Stateside.

And I want to name my child Heart of Midlothian.

posted by owlhouse at 7:58 PM CDT on January 30

What the hell??

posted by amigo59 at 8:48 PM CDT on January 30

Apparently the author didn't see the Westhamobamarama article yesterday.

posted by trox at 9:46 PM CDT on January 30

I want a Brazilian soccer name too. How about Bozilio?

posted by BoKnows at 12:28 AM CDT on January 31

"As to the football teams that Democrats and Republicans represent, I would say AC Milan and Juventus in the 2003 Champions League final. Both owe their successes to long-standing traditions of influence peddling and access to money and power. Both demonstrate lack of initiative and imagination. Both provide little to no entertainment value."

FANTASTIC

posted by Chargdres at 9:06 AM CDT on January 31

My wife cringes every time I start into a discussion of politics, but I can't resist this. How can anyone say that the major US political parties lack entertainment value? Watching Romney and McCain accuse each other of everything except deviant sexual practices, and hearing Clinton (both of them) and Obama bring out the Caterpillar D-8 bulldozers to move the mud they throw is America's quadrennial fun time. I for one find it hilarious, especially because so many take it seriously.

Of course, it is a serious business, but all of us have to look much more deeply than the debates and campaign rhetoric.

posted by Howard_T at 9:19 AM CDT on January 31

If politics was serious business, would Kucinich, Gravel and Paul really have been in the race?

posted by Chargdres at 9:37 AM CDT on January 31

I want a Brazilian soccer name too.

Ask and ye shall receive.

Yours,
[vet]Fatminhosa

posted by yerfatma at 9:46 AM CDT on January 31

yerfatma, you've done it again.

yours,

Howisco

posted by Howard_T at 9:56 AM CDT on January 31

Fatty, you're a genius

Sincerely,

Joilido

posted by hawkguy at 10:44 AM CDT on January 31

I think there has been a Brazilian soccer name generator posted before at some point in time.

Regards,

Ying Yimo

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 10:53 AM CDT on January 31

Fatty, you're a genius

Actually it was linked in the article as well. But I suppose only an asshole would point that out. An asshole named... Goddegra.

posted by goddam at 11:12 AM CDT on January 31

Sorry, I missed that.

posted by hawkguy at 11:26 AM CDT on January 31

Actually, I linked the Brazilian soccer names in July of 2006.

posted by terrapin at 11:48 AM CDT on January 31

Thanks, terrapin, I knew it had been on here before, but I couldn't find the original post.

posted by yerfatma at 12:03 PM CDT on January 31

np, yerfatma. I just want people calling me a genius too! ;) I have acute Belichickism!

posted by terrapin at 12:06 PM CDT on January 31

Do you have a hoodie?

posted by hawkguy at 12:29 PM CDT on January 31

And does it have sleeves?

lil brown bosa

posted by lil_brown_bat at 12:42 PM CDT on January 31

yes. but it is orange

posted by terrapin at 12:42 PM CDT on January 31

I would imagine it might be pf the terrapin variety, as well.

posted by hawkguy at 12:56 PM CDT on January 31

Thanks Yerfatma!

Truly yours,

Knincha

posted by BoKnows at 1:01 PM CDT on January 31

*sniff* no genius love from the SpoFites ;)

posted by terrapin at 1:29 PM CDT on January 31

90% of life is timing. And non-vote grubbing.

posted by yerfatma at 2:52 PM CDT on January 31

Listen, terrapiño, to call you a genius is to raise the reputation of all other geniuseses.

- La Chicolina

posted by chicobangs at 2:53 PM CDT on January 31

Awwww, *blush*

La? La? I haven't seen you in a few years, Chico... or is it Chica now? ;)

posted by terrapin at 2:57 PM CDT on January 31

Binhosa says he's pissed that John 'Edwa' Edwards dropped out of the race after Binhosa sent in his absentee ballot.

posted by billsaysthis at 3:28 PM CDT on January 31

I can't decide if I like the Brazilian Name Generator or the Ron Mexico Name Generator from another thread way back better. Brazilian names are more fun, but Ron Mexico names have a certain sophistication.

Cheers!

Bendeto/Peter Belarus

posted by bender at 3:39 PM CDT on January 31

Wow, that's something else.

- Anita Lithuania

posted by lil_brown_bat at 3:49 PM CDT on January 31

Pirate Name Generator here. No, not the Pittsburgh Pirates.

-Encephalitic Doug Cooke

posted by BoKnows at 4:05 PM CDT on January 31

The Ron Mexico Name Generator thread was a great post. It is not often that you find a 100+ comment FPP that isn't at least partially filled with shit.

-Cap'n Hidalgo Roughknuckles

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 4:35 PM CDT on January 31

I am Son Santos!

aka Robb Zambia

aka Pirate Bruno the Bald

Stay classy, Sports Filtero.

posted by worldcup2002 at 5:35 PM CDT on January 31

According to the pokename generator:

Your Pokéname is: Chuorb

You live in the snowy valleys of Norway, and your diet consists mostly of meatballs, twigs and industrial runoff.

You can eat lava. You can throw maple syrup. You can resist Dr. Pepper. You can breathe iron filings. You can shoot jet fuel. You can spit rocks. You can eat bricks. You have mallets for hands.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 8:49 PM CDT on January 31

I am:

Hypnotle

You live in the grasslands of Botswana, and your diet consists mostly of rocks, bats and tea.

You can shoot hot death. You have a box of LPs. You have a fear of maple syrup. You can breathe rocks. You can drink poison. You have uncanny instinct. You can eat broken glass.

I sound like Chuck Norris.

Which means: LBB, keep your maple syrup to yourself.

posted by BoKnows at 8:55 PM CDT on January 31

Hypnowad

You live in the oceans of Korea, and your diet consists mostly of grass, grapes and kerosene.

You can spit ice bolts. You can puke lava. You can throw nunchucks. You can spit Dr. Pepper. You can spit tahini. You have a full-body tattoo. You can drink air. You can eat poison.

Spitting ice bolts is sweet. Spitting Dr. Pepper ice bolts would be badass.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 9:01 PM CDT on January 31

You live in the savannahs of Australia, and your diet consists mostly of wolves, berries and Dr. Pepper.

You can walk on jet fuel. You have big hair. You have uncanny instinct. You can breathe lava. You can drink Dr. Pepper. You can shoot tahini. You can breathe acid. You can eat poison.

Yes, I am. . .Nidorino! I have big hair and can walk or eat anything you guys can throw at me! Except for hot death and maybe maple syrup. I love my hair, btw.

posted by tselson at 10:32 PM CDT on January 31

Vaporwad!

You live in the steaming jungles of Cameroon, and your diet consists mostly of garbage, macaroni and cheese and coffee.

You have spikes running down your back. You can float in lava. You can spit Dr. Pepper. You can walk on Mr. PiBB. You can spit bricks. You can walk on poison. You have a discoball. You have uncanny instinct.

I do like macaroni and cheese.

And I do have a discoball!

Well played, Pokename Generator!

posted by cjets at 10:51 PM CDT on January 31

Clerider
Profile
You live in the rivers of Canada, and your diet consists mostly of garbage, TV dinners and beer.
Characteristics
(Combat and Non-combat)
You have a sequined jumpsuit. You have a fear of cosmic energy bolts. You can shoot bricks. You can puke iron filings. You can walk on Mr. PiBB. You can throw evil glances.
Natural Enemies
Your natural enemy is Snakezard.

Thanks, lbb.

posted by steelergirl at 4:24 AM CDT on February 1

I just got the end of this thread of comments and really couldn't remember what the discussion had begun as.

Best derail ever.

posted by JJ at 5:03 AM CDT on February 1

Why thank you, JJ. Choo choo!

posted by lil_brown_bat at 6:48 AM CDT on February 1

Out of interest who has actually played Pokemon?

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 7:48 AM CDT on February 1

I think the Ron Mexico generator was the best, but the Pirate one is pretty cool too!

Sincerely,

Cap'n Baird Knockboots

posted by hawkguy at 8:33 AM CDT on February 1

These just get better as they go along. More name generators!!

Menacaldo
aka Bruno Somalia
aka Frownin' Skyler Scabb

posted by Venicemenace at 8:45 AM CDT on February 1

You are Nidoser!

Your diet consists mostly of bats, donuts and kerosene.

You can puke acid.

I'd imagine so.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 8:49 AM CDT on February 1

Hey, what's with the diet consisting of bats?

- Syphilitic Joan Sparrow

posted by lil_brown_bat at 10:47 AM CDT on February 1

Out of interest who has actually played Pokemon?

My son, Javier the Fashionably Late, used to make me play him some years ago. He would beat the crap out of me, then ridicule me for my lack of skill. Since I had no clue what I was doing, I'm sure he was making up rules as we went along. To get even with him, I'm planning to cut off his tuition money at Penn State next year. Maybe he can give Pokemon lessons or develop name generators to pay his own way.

Jack the Mauve

posted by Howard_T at 11:17 AM CDT on February 1

I just tried out the Howard T Dad Took Away My Tuition Money Name Generator, and my new name is Thomas The Broke-Ass Part-Time Waiter.

Sweet!

posted by The_Black_Hand at 12:34 PM CDT on February 1

Puking acid, now that's cool.

posted by billsaysthis at 3:25 PM CDT on February 1

My son used to play Pokemon (on various game platforms, too), however now he has started high school, it is so uncool. Magic cards are now in, and I have to drive him to a tribal gathering this afternoon.

But as far as sports attention spans go, he couldn't even be bothered to stay awake for the second innings of last night's 20/20 game against India. Sigh.

posted by owlhouse at 4:42 PM CDT on February 1

Here lies Snakeeon

He lived in the veldts of Britain, and his diet consised mostly of bats, meatballs and industrial runoff.

He could resist Dr. Pepper and hot death. He had a force field. He would drink lava. He could shoot wind. He breathde rocks with the best. He even spit Mr. PiBB out his nose and he had goassamer wings.

Unfortunitaly he had no imunity to LLB's maple syrup.

RIP

posted by Folkways at 5:00 PM CDT on February 1

Churino

You live in the steaming jungles of Guatemala, and your diet consists mostly of berries, bats and wine.

You can eat fire. You can spit ice bolts. You can spit sand. You can shoot broken glass. You can resist bricks. You can swim in jet fuel. You can spit sledgehammers. You can shoot rocks.

Texildo
Adonis Belize
Edgar the Ochre

Oh yeah--I think these names fit quite well.....;-)

posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 5:55 PM CDT on February 1

Magic cards are now in, and I have to drive him to a tribal gathering this afternoon.

Magic cards were out years ago here. Instead the masses have gravitated to MMORPG's like World of Warcraft or Runescape.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 6:14 PM CDT on February 1

Yeah, I wish Magic cards would become in again so I could unload mine.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 6:20 PM CDT on February 1

Yeah, I know YYM, but he's only 12. He goes to a World of Warcraft group too, where the bigger kids hang out.

Jesus, now I'm talking about this shit...

posted by owlhouse at 6:32 PM CDT on February 1

Magic cards were out years ago here.

Owlie lives out in the boonies of Australia, after all, so I'm not surprised it takes a few years for the cool trends to reach him.

posted by billsaysthis at 12:45 PM CDT on February 3

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