Aha! NEIL: Guys, guys, guys, I think I've solved our money problem. I'm writing to my bank manager. See what you think. [he reads from his letter] "Dear Bank Manager." MIKE: Yeah? NEIL: Well, that's it. I'm quite pleased with it so far, though. MIKE: Oh, well, it's a strong opening, certainly. VYVYAN: I don't like the "Dear". Sounds a bit too much like, "will you go to bed with me?" NEIL: Well spoken, Vyvyan. What do you think instead? VYVYAN: Uh, what about..."Darling"? [the guys concur] NEIL: [writing] "Darling Bank Manager..." RICK: No, no, no, no, no, not "Bank Manager", it's far too crawly bum-lick. Tell it like it is, put, "Fascist Bullyboy"! NEIL: "Darling Fascist Bullyboy..." MIKE: That's nice, yes, so far so good. So what do you want to say? NEIL: Well, basically, I want to ask him if I can have, like, an extension on my overdraft, but I know there must be a better way of putting it than that. MIKE: Well, what about, "Give me some more money"? VYVYAN: ..."You bastard!" [the guys murmur their agreement] NEIL: Don't you think that's a bit strong? MIKE: Ah, Neil, people like that respect strength. NEIL: Yeah, you're right. Uh, "Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard..." Uh... "Love, Neil". VYVYAN: Not "_Love_ Neil"! That sounds far too much like, "Come and get it like a bitch-funky sex machine!" NEIL: Yeah, you're right...Uh, what about, "Yours sincerely"? RICK: Oh, come off it, Neil. If you're going to be that sycophantic, why don't you go 'round there now and stick your tongue straight down the back of his trousers? NEIL: Oh, look, I know, I know, why not, "Boom Shanka"? MIKE: That's hard to tell, Neil. What does it mean? NEIL: It means, "May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman." RICK: Ah-ha! And what makes you think your bank manager's a man? NEIL: Uh...His beard. MIKE: He'll never understand "Boom Shanka", you'll have to write the whole thing out. NEIL: Right, okay, here we go. "Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil." [he looks pleased] RICK: Well, if that doesn't work, I don't know what will.
Bitch-funky sex machines would've been a great team name too. Too long though. Good on you, calmy.