FanDuel - WFBC

November 15, 2005

"Hacking at my tackle": When devotion becomes insanity,

posted by rodgerd to other at 05:36 PM - 28 comments

Ouch.

posted by rcade at 05:43 PM on November 15

I love the guy's optimism--as if any government would allow him to adopt children after a stunt like this. He should just be happy not to have qualified for this year's Darwin Awards.

posted by billsaysthis at 06:07 PM on November 15

All I can say is - WOW!

posted by skydivemom at 06:25 PM on November 15

After reading that, my n*ts have hidden and may not come out for a while.

posted by dbt302 at 07:24 PM on November 15

what the fuck. he is either lying and is completely insane, or he wanted the publicity. u dont cut off ur nuts then pretend like its no big deal. i have dreaded sharp objects around my waist level for years now, and i cannot even picture what the scene was like at this social club. man: HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT MY NUTS IN THIS BAG!!! fellow club members: OH MY GOD MAN, WHAT THE HELL IS WRING WITH U?? (one man runs up and kicks the man in his bloodied crotch and screams in delight as the man falls over and bleeds to death, while everyone else shrugs off the dying idiot and goes back to their business)

posted by 15yroldkid at 08:20 PM on November 15

That's just nuts!

posted by The SmoothMASTER at 08:28 PM on November 15

You have to admit, it took balls to do that.

posted by mr_crash_davis at 08:31 PM on November 15

Got to hand it to him - he's got testicular fortitude

posted by kokaku at 10:00 PM on November 15

had testicular fortitude.

posted by ursus_comiter at 10:24 PM on November 15

"I still want a family - maybe I'll adopt" Your other options being...? u dont cut off ur nuts then pretend like its no big deal Someone's never been to Wales.

posted by JJ at 04:18 AM on November 16

I love how matter-of-fact the whole story is, like this is the kind of thing any of us could have done after a stirring victory and a couple of pints. Them Welshfolk do the darndest things! Let me say this, for the record: I have no desire to breed, but if (IF) the Leafs win the Stanley Cup in my lifetime, I may buy a round for whatever house I'm in, and maybe I'll even commemorate the occasion with a tasteful and non-public tattoo, but "Vladimir" and "Estragon" are staying right at home with my Sam Beckett, thank you very much.

posted by chicobangs at 04:32 AM on November 16

I clearly remember this story from last february, and in fact wrote about it in several columns and tried getting some updates. At first I thought it an urban legend, but he did in fact cut them, he was in critical condition, and was released to psychiatric counselling.

posted by the red terror at 09:58 AM on November 16

Now I don't know which I find more disturbing, the Taff Testicle Topiary or the fact that Chico has names for his bits...

posted by JJ at 10:10 AM on November 16

I swear if the Bear's beat the Panthers this week I'll...nope, scratch that. Man, this guy needs to learn the saying I've dealt with almost my entire life, "There's always next year."

posted by timdawg at 10:18 AM on November 16

I clearly remember this story from last february it was posted here as well.

posted by goddam at 10:39 AM on November 16

Lovely singing voice- Eunuch

posted by tron7 at 10:42 AM on November 16

No mention of alcohol anywhere in the story? That's just bad reporting. I would think it would take a lot of self-medicating to be able to go through with ten-minutes of dull snippers-style surgery.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 02:57 PM on November 16

Would an Australian newspaper bother to mention if alcohol consumption was involved? Seems a mite dingo bites sheila, Bruce.

posted by yerfatma at 03:12 PM on November 16

If England beats the All Blacks on Saturday, there will probably be a lot more testicles laying waste on British pub & tavern floors.

posted by the red terror at 03:41 PM on November 16

That's right, yerfatma - I'll set 'em up, and you knock 'em down.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 03:48 PM on November 16

If Fresno State beats SC this weekend, keep me away from any sharp objects because I'm gonna be celebrating. And what better way to celebrate than showing up at your favorite watering hole with your balls in a bag? That's a great idea. And fun, too. YEAH, BABY! GO DOGS!!

posted by Desert Dog at 05:58 PM on November 16

Actually, I've thought about it a little. I don't think I'll be hacking off the twins. Funny how things look different when you're sober.

posted by Desert Dog at 07:24 PM on November 16

Desert Dog, as an SC alum, let me assure you that #20 ranking or not your twins are in no danger on Saturday. Boise State != USC, 'kay?

posted by billsaysthis at 11:53 PM on November 16

And what better way to celebrate than showing up at your favorite watering hole with your balls in a bag? I dunno about the rest of you, but I always carry my balls around in a bag...or a sack, as it were...

posted by MeatSaber at 07:15 AM on November 17

I would think it would take a lot of self-medicating to be able to go through with ten-minutes of dull snippers-style surgery. Do a search on foreskin self-surgery.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:10 AM on November 17

Yeah, billysaysthis, I'm pretty sure they're safe. I know Boise can't hold SC's jock. All I'm saying is if SC comes out flat and turns the ball over a couple times, they might be in for a game. And we're #16. So until the game is over, please don't run over my puppy.

posted by Desert Dog at 09:53 AM on November 17

Per my personal website, DD, we don't kill kittens puppies.

posted by billsaysthis at 03:15 PM on November 17

That nutjob really got the sac. What a bunch of bollocks!

posted by worldcup2002 at 10:50 PM on November 18

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