FanDuel - WFBC

June 26, 2008

You can't do without Shaq!: Noted rapper Shaquille O'Neal, (8 albums, 1 platinum, 5 gold), goes freestyle on Kobe. Despite Shaq claiming that it was done in fun, Deputy O'Neal is being fired coast to coast.

posted by geekyguy to basketball at 11:46 AM - 37 comments

"I am assuming he assumed it [the rap] would be confidential," Brown said. Ummm, okay, right. Confidential? Maybe in your own home by yourself. But in a crowded nightclub? Isn't Shaq pretty much in the spotlight with everything that he does? Can he do anything "confidential'? I've not listened to Shaq's other raps/albums, so I don't know the language that he's used in the past. I just don't understand why this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Maybe the Sheriff's Department needs to think about who they "deputize".

posted by BoKnows at 12:13 PM on June 26

Done in fun or not, that was one of the lamest freestyle raps I have ever heard.

posted by knowsalittle at 12:18 PM on June 26

Oh, come on, that "Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes" was funny. He had the club singing along. It was just a silly song. I don't understand what is so outrageous about it. I don't know what to make of a world where you can't call out a motherfucker who put your private business out in the streets to save his own ass.

posted by bperk at 12:24 PM on June 26

Yeah, at least the Lakers made it to the title playoffs. Seems the joke would be on Shaq. Catchy tune tho.

posted by steelergirl at 12:35 PM on June 26

Shaq just seems absolutely obsessed with Kobe. Does he really think about him that much? It seems like it has gone past feuding and borders on obsession.

posted by geekyguy at 12:40 PM on June 26

I think geekyguy has a point. Shaq has now been on two other teams since playing with Kobe,and is now heading to a third. I do not understand Shaq's need to verbalize anything about Kobe, other than commenting about his play on the court. I do not doubt that Shaq did mean it in fun, but obsession is obsession...let it go...

posted by knowsalittle at 12:55 PM on June 26

Does he really think about him that much? I doubt it. It was just that Kobe returned to the Finals without Shaq, and he couldn't get it done. Taking the time out to stick it to your old nemesis now and again is not an obsession.

posted by bperk at 01:03 PM on June 26

Not that I would have any first hand (or second hand) knowledge of this, but I would guess that Shaq's ass tastes like sofa because that was what he was sitting on while Kobe was playing in the Finals.

posted by THX-1138 at 01:35 PM on June 26

THX, that was truly funny...mark one down for that one.

posted by knowsalittle at 01:45 PM on June 26

Okey dokey.

posted by THX-1138 at 02:22 PM on June 26

I have a feeling the longer Shaq stays around the bigger joke he'll become. That rap might work if he could actually rap. He's terrible. It was just that Kobe returned to the Finals without Shaq, and he couldn't get it done. Well, in all fairness Kobe didn't have dwyane wade's coattails to ride on.

posted by justgary at 03:24 PM on June 26

I thought that was funny. "Tell me how my ass tastes?" LOL

posted by worldcup2002 at 04:24 PM on June 26

It is a terrible rap but the "tell me how my ass tastes" is hilarious none the less.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 04:50 PM on June 26

Freestyle rap always reminds me of this. Video Link.

posted by BoKnows at 05:00 PM on June 26

Stick to b-ball Shaq...Oh wait, you suck at that too now.

posted by docshredder at 07:32 PM on June 26

Okay, this is just a personal opinion, but it really hit me as I watched the finals how much I really detest Kobe Bryant. The whole rape allegation and narcin' out his teammates for sleeping around aside, dude blew up the Lakers because he could not stand to share the spotlight. That creates a problem. How can you surround Kobe with the talent he needs to win a championship without pricking his ego? It's almost impossible. How do you write a LA Times sports page headline ahead of time? Simple. "Kobe Scores 40, Lakers Lose".

posted by gradioc at 08:51 PM on June 26

Ohh, docshredder calling out Shaq with a personal attack. Hmm, sounds like an interesting departure from doc's opinion of Mr. Wade's actions regarding Mr. Chacon in a previous posting, even if he is right. I Shaq now allowed to kick your ass or manhandle you?

posted by knowsalittle at 09:19 PM on June 26

Done in fun or not, that was one of the lamest freestyle raps I have ever heard. posted by knowsalittle You obviously knowsalittle about freestyling. For a person of Shaq's stature to be able to rhyme from the top the way he did, especially about a subject matter that just about everyone knows about, I have to give that man his props. Freestyle is an art form that not too many emcees can do. Yeah, at least the Lakers made it to the title playoffs. Seems the joke would be on Shaq. Didn't Shaq win a title without Kobe? I wonder who the joke was on then? What's with all this hate towards Shaq? He wasn't being serious, it's called freestyle people. Unless you have actually ever tried to freestyle, you wouldn't understand. Shaq ended up rhyming about a topic that most people know about and as you can see from the video, he was having fun. Shaq has been around for a hell of a long time and most people know that Shaq loves to have fun and make fun of people but there's no malice intentions behind it, IMO. Even if there were, could you blame him? It was indeed Kobe that 'ratted' Shaq out and in turn, Shaq's wife is divorcing him.

posted by BornIcon at 06:38 AM on June 27

Freestyle? Is that another word for 'time out' or 'just kidding'? If an announcer on ABC Sports calls an athlete 'a little monkey' and rhymes it, then it's ok? I like Shaq. But anyone who thinks he doesn't harbor some resentment toward Kobe and that lame crap he spewed was just in fun is deluding themself. He meant every single word or he wouldn't have said it. In this time of heightened sensitivity, where every word or phrase is overly scrutinized, it's time for sports stars and others to be held accountable like everyone else.

posted by mitchigan at 07:26 AM on June 27

Are you kidding me? Your gonna resort to calling the ghost of Howard Cosell to make your point with "little monkey"? Shaq wasn't on national television, he was at an underground hip-hop club that features independant hip-hop performers. Shaq is not only a future Hall of Famer but he is a multi-talented entrepreneur. People need to get a grip of their own lives and stop sweating what other people do on their own time, even if they are celebrities. Shaq wasn't on ABC, NBC, FOX or ESPN disrespecting Kobe, he was at a hip-hop club (that I've been to on numerous occasions) and was just having fun. People just need to stop making a big deal out of nothing. I'm sure that Kobe isn't losing any sleep over this Shaq incident and I sure as hell won't either.

posted by BornIcon at 08:35 AM on June 27

Even if there were, could you blame him? It was indeed Kobe that 'ratted' Shaq out and in turn, Shaq's wife is divorcing him. Sure I can blame Shaq; if he keeps it in his pants, there's nothing for Kobe to rat him out about. They're both scumbags; Kobe for spilling somebody's personal business, and Shaq for fucking around on his wife.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 09:14 AM on June 27

For a guy with this, how can anyone take what he's saying at face value?

posted by charlatan at 09:19 AM on June 27

Even if there were, could you blame him? It was indeed Kobe that 'ratted' Shaq out and in turn, Shaq's wife is divorcing him. Yeah, I'm having a difficult time putting Shaq in a white hat for his innocent and virtuous behavior. Look, I don't care what the hell Shaq says in some nightclub, but let's not portray Kobe as the bad guy and Shaq as the good guy. Didn't Shaq win a title without Kobe? I wonder who the joke was on then? Your gonna resort to calling the ghost of Howard Cosell to make your point with "little monkey"? Now, if you're going to bring up the past in one statement, you ought to allow the past to be brought up in another. From my point of view I see two men who have beautiful wives that seem to treat their husbands well. And their husbands fucked around on them. Not exactly laudable behavior on either man's part. And both are worthy of my derision. If Shaq doesn't want what he says to be taken seriously, he should be more aware of where he says stupid shit. Or at least own up to the fact that he said it and not puss out by saying "Oh, we joke like that all the time." and expect people to actually believe it.

posted by THX-1138 at 10:43 AM on June 27

My God ICON please tell me u have recently taken a blow to the head or experimented with a new "completely safe and totally legal, synthetic" narcotic... You're right Freestyle is an art and that crap Shaq did.... THAT was stick figures, done with the left hand of a right handed 5 year old. Normally you are DEFINITELY more on point than not, BUT in this case??? First, anyone who knows rap knows that the "freestyle" is almost always somewhat prepared. Some do it faster than others, but in THIS case you know he's been humming this in his shower somewhere. Second, he sounded just as bad when he rapped with the Fushnickens back in the day. Hey I've heard Barney back in the day lay down better lyrics. Joke or not, that just plain SUCKED!

posted by emancipated107 at 01:29 PM on June 27

Wow, I didn't know how many of you had Simon Cowell in you. It seems that some of us have no problem with rap, good freestyle, or even what Shaq said, but with the pathetic rhyme way in which he did it. Sure humor is fun and I do not deny the "tell me how my ass tastes" lyric was funny at first, but THX said it best when he noted that Shaq's ass probably tasted like sofa, since that was what he was sitting on while Kobe was in the finals (which was wayyy more humerous than attempting to belittle someone you are no longer equal to). The general consensus is that Shaq was having fun, he is a lousy freestyle rapper, and that he should think twice about calling out someone better at basketball now than him. I welcome your retorts (that means responses for the uneducated - just trying to stir the pot as I love so well)

posted by knowsalittle at 05:16 PM on June 27

Ohh, docshredder calling out Shaq with a personal attack. Hmm, sounds like an interesting departure from doc's opinion of Mr. Wade's actions regarding Mr. Chacon in a previous posting, even if he is right. I Shaq now allowed to kick your ass or manhandle you? Your name fits you well... If you check the posting we were talking about profanity...Also, I'm not stupid enough to talk shit to Shaq in a face to face situation. Back to the topic... Regarding the "didn't Shaq win a title without Kobe?" coments. Shaq has never won a title on a team when he was the only all-star. Neither has Kobe. However, Shaq did kill the Suns last year even though he had Amare and Nash (both all-stars), and Kobe made it to the Finals without another all-star on the roster... I asked this question during the Finals post, but no one answered so here it goes again: Can anyone name a team that has won an NBA title with only 1 all-star?

posted by docshredder at 07:27 PM on June 27

I just answered my own question, the '94 and '95 Rockets are the only teams in the last 20 years to win a Championship with only one all-star. Shaq has never won a title on a team when he was the only all-star. Neither has Kobe. Neither did Magic or Bird or JORDAN (yes god himself). But Hakeem has? Yup...twice! So he can rap all he wants about whoever he wants...

posted by docshredder at 07:50 PM on June 27

First, anyone who knows rap knows that the "freestyle" is almost always somewhat prepared Ummm, no it's not. I can tell you from firsthand experiance that freestyle is off the top of your head. I am able to freestyle at the drop of a dime. I have been writing lyrics since I was 13 and actually came out with a independant CD with a group of my friends, and we can all freestyle but the CD was all with written material so that we all stayed on the same topic. I also have a music studio where I make my own beats for people at a very reasonable price so for you to imply that people that freestyle only recite written lyrics, sorry to inform you but you are incorrect my friend. They're both scumbags; Kobe for spilling somebody's personal business, and Shaq for fucking around on his wife. Wow, some of you sure act like you have no skeletons in your closet. So Shaq and Kobe are both scumbags for have extra-marital affairs? So, because they both happened to be weak in a situation with another woman, they're now scumbags? Is Magic Johnson a scumbag for cheating on his wife while playing for the Lakers? How about Michael Jordan? Bill Cosby? All these men happened to stray from their marriages not because they're scumbags but because they chose to do so. That does not make them bad people...well, maybe to their wives but that's another story. For anyone that's judging these people, I only have one question for you: When did you become God? I always thought that only God can judge you.

posted by BornIcon at 08:50 AM on June 30

Shaq has never won a title on a team when he was the only all-star, Has Shaq even been on a team with only one all-star? Shaq's mere presence may create all-stars. I always thought that only God can judge you. I believe that Jesus was cautioning us against hypocrisy, not all judging.

posted by bperk at 09:37 AM on June 30

Point.....missed.

posted by BornIcon at 10:06 AM on June 30

Has Shaq even been on a team with only one all-star? Shaq's mere presence may create all-stars. So Dwayne Wade would not be an all-star without Shaq?

posted by docshredder at 06:42 PM on June 30

So Shaq and Kobe are both scumbags for have extra-marital affairs? Yes. So, because they both happened to be weak in a situation with another woman, they're now scumbags? Yes. Is Magic Johnson a scumbag for cheating on his wife while playing for the Lakers? Yes. How about Michael Jordan? Yes. Bill Cosby? Yes. Granted, they are all talented individuals who probably have contributed to the communities in which they live. But people who cheat on their wives are scumbags. It's a scumbag move. The position that you are taking is frankly indefensible.

posted by THX-1138 at 02:19 PM on July 01

Seconded.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 03:04 PM on July 01

But people who cheat on their wives are scumbags. I disagree. Some really great people have allegedly committed extramarital affairs (FDR, MLK, JFK). They are crappy husbands, but that doesn't define the man.

posted by bperk at 03:11 PM on July 01

They are crappy husbands, but that doesn't define the man. And I say it does. Infidelity is a character defining choice. In some instances it can be a legally actionable transgression. Men (or women) who have achieved greatness aren't necessarily people of great character. Scumbag wasn't actually my word of choice; I latched onto it to make a point. For the sake of clarifying my position, please substitute something that defines my opinion of their low character trait in regard to the commitment that they have chosen to ignore, such as adulterer. Or cheater. Or philanderer. And I happen to think those types of folks are, well, scumbags. Perhaps that's something we don't agree on.

posted by THX-1138 at 09:16 PM on July 01

But people who cheat on their wives are scumbags. It's a scumbag move Your opinion. Scumbag wasn't actually my word of choice; I latched onto it to make a point And your point was heard and disagreed with. Scumbag may not have been you word of choice but you made a choice to use over & over again. I do agree that they committed adultery but we don't know why they decided to stray. Maybe the marriage is crumbling or maybe the wife cheated, who knows, who cares? I personally believe that when you get married and take those vows, you should stand by those vows. However, I cannot live anyone else's lives and I'm the last person to make it seem as if the way I live my life or base my opinions on things is right and the way everyone must do as well. Poeple are going to live the way they want no matter what other people think or say and just because one doesn't agree with it doesn't mean that it's going to stop. I guess we just have to agree to disagree.

posted by BornIcon at 08:29 AM on July 02

But people who cheat on their wives are scumbags. It's a scumbag move Your opinion. Moral relativism. His opinion is shared by the vast majority of people on Earth. It's a tenet of most every religion. Marriage (at least for some couples) is sanctioned by the state and treated differently from co-habitation. To dismiss distaste for infidelity (and the character flaws it suggests) as "mere opinion" is a step down the Internet's favorite path, the Slippery Slope.

posted by yerfatma at 10:39 AM on July 02

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