Let's just put this matter to bed once and for all. You be the judge. Maddux Hall of Fame Pros and Cons Pros: 333 W .621 W% 108 CG 3169 SO 16 GG 4 CY Cons: 29 DH (dead hobos) 37 SW (slain whores) 23 RSWF (rookies sodomized with fungo) 125 SCOBPCMU (shaving cream on bullpen phone catching Mazzone unaware) Banged Marge Schott regularly throughout the 90's and made Schottzie watch
When Wells came back to the Yanks, I was ecstatic (never was happy about trophy-trading him for Clemens), but he seemed to have more trouble with Torre and/or Stottlemyre, plus his book came out and ruffled more feathers than I expected. Remember how furious everyone was when he wrote about steroid use? Next thing you know, Canseco talks, Congress investigates, Bonds is all over the news, and everone's forgotten what a hard time Wells got. It hurt a lot when he went to Boston, but Steinbrenner deserved it after offering him essentially nothing plus incentives because his back went out on him in the postseason. I envy you, San Diego. I'll come to see you at Shea again, like I did last time 'round. You've got a very very good team with great pitching. That will be a real game against the Mets. This is my first day with you here -- hadn't time to be funny because I wanted to get something up about Wells, but I must add that you are very clever and enjoyable writers.
I'm ok with a few dead hobos, but messing with a dog . . . that's low.
Banged Marge Schott regularly throughout the 90's and made Schottzie watch Could have been worse...can you imagine if he had banged Schottzie and made Marge watch? (That might have been a real howl.)
He mentioned he tried it that way for a couple of months in 1986, but it turned out Marge just wasn't all that offended. You know how these things go.
True, Holden, but Maddux' ability to stay on track with his cy(rswf/w)+[dh+2sw/cg)] of 1.23 is the best since Phillie Ralph "Fungo " Hobson in 1898.
bobfoot -- this is true. But if you multiply Maddux's career wins by 2, I think you start to get a sense of the dark forces we are dealing with here.
The really sick part is, he made Schottzie wear the swastika.
Oh, thank god... for a second there I thought you said, "schwanzstucker."
Oh, that too, no doubt. Poor, poor dog.
Hilarious feature on Wells. All of this for the chance to live off the land and spin entertaining tales about: Food: "Ostrich was phenomenal. Wart hog is outstanding. Probably the best animal I had, and it doesn't sound good, was dik-dik. Had dik twice. Very tasty. Very, very tasty. Except zebra. I wouldn't want to eat a zebra."
