SportsFilter: Sports Community Weblog

Monday, April 19, 2004

***SPOFI LOCKER ROOM INTERVIEW #19*** JJ: "I've been interviewed in a locker room before - I was asked how I felt I'd played and managed a very witty "errrrr" before collapsing from heat exhaustion." Dynomite! rcade asked that I interview this former golf pro. Who am I to say no. Let's go, JJ!

Comments

I am still confused by the timestamps on this site. As I write this it is 8:29 PST but WC's FPP is stamped at 10:07 PST. Also, assuming that was 22 minutes ago (which I guess we'll see when I punt this in), why hasn't he posted the first question yet?

Okay, apparently I was right about the 22 minutes. So where are you WorldCup2002? And do you plan to update your handle any time soon since the '06 qualifiers began months ago?

I am very proud of my nickname. I will die with my nickname. But enough about me.

Q1. JJ, John John. How did you come by either of those nicknames? Please tell me they're nicknames.

Hi. I'm in the UK, so this could take a while (speak slowly and don't use big words - we're all very thick here). Both JJ and John John are nicknames - both came from the university golf team. No one involved in the team was referred to by their real name, unless they were entirely devoid of personality. Or Welsh. Or both. For a short time, my nickname was animal - a literal description, evoked by my somewhat direct approach to dismantling a golf course by brute force - but someone soon remembered the Cannonball Run, and specifically, the fact that Burt Reynolds' character in the movie was called JJ McClure. The rest is beer-addled history. Other than the surname, there is no relevance. I have neither a moustache nor a deranged sidekick with a split personality. John John came about more recently when the wife of one of my former teammates was introduced to me at a wedding. She had heard tell of me as "JJ" but I introduced myself as John. Perhaps disarmed and confused by my lack of a moustache, she amalgamated the two names to the general amusement of all present, and I became John John. It doesn't bother me, but I'm not sure that my wife is too delighted that she's now known as Katie Katie. Regarding the time stamps: as I post, it's just after 09:30 GMT (by my reckoning, that should be 01:30 PST).

But, by SpoFi's reckoning, it's just gone 3:30AM.

Oh yeah - I forgot to include the only salient point of my answer to your first question - my real name is John McClure.

*sneaks in cheeky peanut gallery question.* which university?

Stirling University in Scotland... it was sold to me as having the best university golf team in the UK and a nine hole course on campus. I wasn't all that interested as I had a secret plan to turn pro when I left (high) school, but, thankfully, my dad talked some sense into me and I went to Stirling instead. In the short term, it made me a better golfer. In the long term, it got me a degree to fall back on when the golf didn't work out.

My sensible dad, meeting his boyhood idol a couple of weeks ago at Augusta. Lucky bastard.

That link doesn't work. If you're interested, cut and paste: www.geocities.com

OMG! Your dad is Arnold Palmer!?!?!

Yeah - and he was lucky enough to meet Rollo McClure last week at Augusta. McClure, an aging accountant from Belfast, Northern Ireland, has been Palmer's idol for many years, despite being fourteen years his junior and having peaked in golfing terms with a semi-final appearance in the South African Amateur in 1973. Palmer recently said of McClure "All this sporting legend business is over-rated - the true heros are the men in grey suits making our accounts balance - men like Rollo - he works a fifty-hour week in the office, but still finds time to thrash it round in 85 on the weekend. If you ask me, that's true sporting greatness."

<Obligatory Simpsons reference>Have you got a relative called Troy?</simpsons>

i thoroughly enjoy JJ's blatant sarcasm. It brightens my day.

Yes, you may remember him from such classic movies as...

My wife's friends (still new enough to the surname to find humour in it) keep offering us money to name our firstborn "Troy"

It's probably not going to happen though.

Well, I'm afraid it's past my home time now and I have to go. Post questions at your leisure and I'll do my best to lie interestingly in response tomorrow.

I'll throw some money in the pot for the firstborn being "Troy". You and little Troy have $20 coming from ol' 86 in the event that this comes about. I'll double it if the firstborn happens to be a girl. gspm - That killed me. Nice.

communal aside: I miss Phil Hartman, and I loathe his murdering cokehead of a wife.

I like the tone this interview is taking. Great fun from the interviewee, and the peaNUT gallery is really getting involved. An inspired interviewee choice by rcade.

Q2. What turned you on to golf? Why did you want to go pro? And what degree did you get?

To ask a cheeky question, squealy, must one drop his or her trousers first? I mean, that's how I conduct interviews for work anyhow...

I did wfrazerjr. The etiquette is somewhat hazy on the issue.

This has become the interview equivalent of Sergio Garcia. Hit the damned ball!

due to his UK working hours i'd say that he isn't hitting the ball because he isn't even on the course. his round is over and he's gone home. he should be along shortly.

*waggle*

*waggle* *regrip* *waggle*

*look up* *waggle waggle waggle* *step back* *club change*

I'll double it if the firstborn happens to be a girl. I think, if it's a girl, I could slip the name in on a technicality - I could push for "Tory" and then "accidentally" spell it wrong when it came to registering the birth.

Quit stalling and answer the damn question or you'll feel the back of my hand.

To turn, for a moment, to the interviewer: Golf is in the family. Rumour has it that when first I met my dad, mere hours after being born (me, not him), he put a pen in my hand to see how my grip was going to be. Apparently I had a bit of a strong left hand even then. To be fair though, I was never pushed - encouraged, certainly, but never pushed. In terms of a defining moment, I think I realised I loved the game the first time anyone gave me a prize for playing it. I won a Golden Ram golf ball in 1978 (the days when they still came wrapped in black cellophane covers) for being the youngest player in the field at that year's parent-and-child competition at my dad's club. I was three and a half. Why did I want to go pro? I like to travel, I like to play golf and I like money - it seemed like the obvious thing to do. The bit of advice that made me take the plunge before a lot of people around me thought I was ready came from David Higgins. I sat in a group of maybe ten Irish players (some pro, some amateur) around a table in a hotel in Perpignan in the South of France. We'd all just missed the cut in the second stage of pre-qualifying for the European Tour. Everyone was pissed off, and everyone was making plans. Some of the pros were going to call it a day, others were talking about whether they would go to South America, or South Africa, or Japan, or Australia. Everyone was thinking about money. One of the amateurs said he was going to just go home and train through the winter and play another season of amateur golf in Ireland and then come back to pre-Q as an amateur again the following year. David Higgins was the obvious man to turn to for a view on that decision - Higgins had won a couple of big Irish amateur events in 1994, and had looked like a certainty to make the '95 Walker Cup team. However, he took the strange decision to turn pro instead. In 1998 (as we sat round the table) he hadn't made much of an impact so far. With the benefit of hindsight, his decision looked wrong. He smiled a bit and said "The only way to become a good pro is to play professional golf - you can win all the amateur tournaments you like, but they count for nothing when you come out here." That struck me as a good bit of advice, and I more or less decided then that instead of going home, I'd go to South Africa and try to get a tour card down there. In retrospect, I'm not sure I'd agree with him entirely now - I think winning is something you need to learn how to do, and also something you need to practice. I reckon that's why players who suddenly get above themselves and say things like "I'm only focusing on the majors this year" tend to struggle (Tiger at the moment, Faldo in the mid-nineties) - you can forget how to close out a lead. Anyway - I'd dreamt of being a pro from a very young age, but I used that bit of advice like a mantra to push myself forward and actually do it. As for my degree - I have a BA in Economics - which, ironically, has been utterly no use to me in my current career as an economist. I also have a diploma in being concise.

Sorry squealy - my boss is being most unreasonable this morning, keeps asking me to work.

Damn, how many econodorks do we have on this site? It seems like about two dozen (with a standard deviation of 4.32)

Other people admit to that? I thought I was the only one.

im a dork of many things, but economy is not one of them.

What if I have a BA in Economics but don't use it?

Mine's about as useful to me as an inflatable dartboard.

Does anyone really use a BA in Econ?

i know so many people (save for lawyers, doctors, engineers) who don't use the degree they went to school for. i wanted to be a reporter. or a movie director. sigh.

You don't understand. I coulda had class! I coulda been a contender. I coulda been someone Charley, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. I'm a bum. /brando

I have a BA in Economics. It helped me understand my unemployment better. It went a long way towards explaining it too.

What if you haven't got any statistics education whatsoever and are called upon to regular produce standard deviation curves? I hate my job.

I thought there were more... you can add squealy and wc2k2 to the list.

Economics, huh? How's this for a punchline: I have a BS in Art. I still don't understand how you get a Bachelor of Science in Art, but that's what they handed me.

I had to take several economics classes to get my MBA and they have been about as useful as JJ's and 86's degrees. Of course my undergraduate degree in journalism, now that's a whole 'nother story.

i will safely predict that this will be the longest interview evah what with this being at (or near) the end of day two for JJ (it being 5:28pm UK time and he seemed to end the interview yesterday by going home earlier than this) and we've only had two questions. so the peanut gallery has a huge opportunity to bring the chit chat.

I don't have an Economics degree. But I do work with statistics. I feel for you Clamster (but not literally).

What if you haven't got any statistics education whatsoever and are called upon to regular produce standard deviation curves? I hate my job. Do what I did, force management to purchase statistical software. The folks at Zephyr (Investment Performance Software) make me look like a genius, and they have charts with bright colors too. I can even pick which colors I want to use. And whenever anyone asks me to explain, I always say the same thing, "Didn't you get the chart?"

What an Econ degree does for you in 50 words or less: It annoys the piss out of you when your co-workers talk about their "invetment" "plans", playing the lottery, etc.

But econ majors get to play with Slutskys.

I took stats once. I didn't like all the 'deviant' and 'mean' talk.

I have a BA in Economics. It just allows me to get annoyed when the Fed makes funny noises about the interest rate, when new unemployment or productivity or trade deficit or GNP or inflation numbers come out, or when a country's economy implodes.

Been annoyed a lot lately, eh, wc?

Q3. Given the HUGE number of useless econ degree-holders here at SpoFi (me included), please humor me by giving me more details on your economist job, and how your econ degree has or has no relevance to it. Back to golf after this question. I am always annoyed, Ufez.

But econ majors get to play with Slutskys. A complete derailing aside, but still: my friend and I can both pull off decent to good Russian accents, which led to hours of hilarity one drunken night when the word "slot" came up in some context on TV. And then one night I was walking in Vegas (tipsy again) when I saw a sign advertising a "slot pull".

I had no idea there was such a spodish undercurrent running through SpoFi. I work for an economics consultancy in Oxford that specialises in analysing the markets for soft agricultural products (such as sugar, starch, rubber, coffee, cocoa) and their downstream derivatives. I'm in rubber. *pause* Mostly I study and write about the world markets for tyres, but I do moonlight on coffee and cocoa, and have been known to do the odd bit of starch *cough*. It's pretty dull for the most part, but it has its moments. Last year, for instance, I got to write a piece about the future of the golf ball market. That was exciting. [/sarcasm] In essence, the industires we deal with are full of many people who know a huge amount about very little (they are very specialised). We try to be the people who know a little about a huge amount of things - we try to give the specialists a context. My boss probably doesn't see it that way, but that's my take on it. I quite like where I work though. I don't have to wear a suit, they're fine with me coming in at 8 and leaving at 4, and generally the people I have to deal with are nice. Every few months I get restless and look for a new job, but mostly I reckon that moving to anything else I'm qualified to do would be a very definite case of jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. My degree has had no relevence to what I do, as very little of my work involves hardcore economic theory. I was under the impression that my degree had stood me in good stead here, until this year, when my brother went to Durham University to start an economics degree himself. He keeps calling me and asking me questions. I know that I should know the answer to them, but I never do. To do my job you need to be able to do three things: you need to be able to write coherently (I can do it when I have to), you need to be able to see patterns in large datasets (I have learnt how to do this, but my degree didn't help), and you need to be able to learn very fast - the work jumps around from project to project - you need to turn yourself into an expert very quickly. It will do in the meantime. I have ambitions in other directions, but for now, this job is paying the mortgage and keeping me in Pro Vx's.

Cool - I'm not the only SpFi-er in Oxford...

Q4. I have a question and a followup (not really -- always wanted to say that). Golf is the only pro sport with its own common psychoneuromuscular malady -- yips, defined as a problem that causes a putting golfer to experience freezing, jerking, or a tremor prior to initiating a putt. Do you believe that's a real condition, or is it just the world of sport's most well-documented excuse for choking?

Good gravy, the peanut gallery have taken over the interview! The crowd have taken control! *koff*

I believe it's a real condition, and I believe I've had it - briefly. There are other sports it affects too - darts springs to mind immediately, and snooker -anything where you are initiating the movement rather than reacting to something coming at you I suppose. I had a nasty little dose of the yips in the practice rounds of a provincial boys tournament years ago. There was no reason for it that I could fathom at the time - the greens were perfect and a nice (rather than frightening) pace, I had been putting well the week before (and I putted well in the tournament itself and have done ever since *touching wood*) but, for two days in the practice rounds, I just couldn't get the putter head back. It was terrifying! No doubt it was self-propagating to an extent, but it also left as quickly as it had arrived, so I'm not sure you could even say that about it. The argument that I think establishes the fact that it's not just an excuse for choking is that if you've got the yips really badly, you yip whether you're putting to win the Open in front of the world, or you're practicing on your own with nothing at stake.

Quite, salmacis, but do you have an economics degree?

Good gravy, the peanut gallery have taken over the interview! The crowd have taken control! And so the interviewee becomes the interviewer *mooohahahahaha*

we have that yips thing in archery too. 'cept we call it target panic.

Quite, salmacis, but do you have an economics degree? Will Maths and Computer Science do? No? Oh well..

rcade: I think darts and snooker have their own version of the "yips". Whether they are sports is for another locker room poll to decide.

interesting interview. good interview. like JJ. but how comes it feels like it's been going on since Jesus was in baby shoes?

ah, I think Jesus wore sandals.

yeah but before that: baby shoes. you got to learn how to walk.

I think this interview is going longer because: 1. JJ's answers are longer and richer in detail. 2. JJ has a very readable writing style, with just enough silliness thrown in to incite the crowd to join in. 3. The peanut gallery is unusually frisky. (Maybe JJ just brings it out in people.)

Q5. So since rcade asked the golf question, I'm going to keep on this economics and work thing. Let me break it down: Q5a. You've said in different ways that the economic degree really isn't relevant to what you do (even though apparently it should, and I totally know what you mean about your bro asking economics questions and you not being able to answer but thinking that you really should ...). What knowledge or skills have been most useful for your job? (btw, I am intrigued by your job description even if you may not be.) Q5b. Are interest rates currently too low? Q5c. What are your "ambitions in other directions?"

3. The peanut gallery is unusually frisky. (Maybe JJ just brings it out in people.) or they were shocked into silence by jbou... or what you said.

Of course, if my focus and memory were better, I would've remembered that JJ has already answered Q5a: "To do my job you need to be able to do three things: you need to be able to write coherently (I can do it when I have to), you need to be able to see patterns in large datasets (I have learnt how to do this, but my degree didn't help), and you need to be able to learn very fast - the work jumps around from project to project - you need to turn yourself into an expert very quickly." Maybe he'll add more to his answer. But one thing's for sure: I need to get more sleep.

maybe we can do guest interviewers or something, so you can get some obviously well needed snoozing. i'll help out again. it was fun.

I'd be willing to moonlight again too

jersey and Ufez: You are more than welcome to do interviews. And j-girl, if you post a picture, you can take over the interviews completely. HAH!

jj, I've got to get a new mortgage in the next two months, what's the best type given your analysis of future interest rate trends? I'm only partly joking.

Coincidentally, I am scheduled to have my annual review meeting today I have spent the last week filling out endless forms asking me questions like "What knowledge or skills have been most useful for your job?" It's a hard question to answer. I'm good at picking things up quickly (even if I then forget them completely once I've set them down again), and that helps. I'm good at spotting typos, and I'm not reticent about editing my boss when he asks me to "scan through" something he's tried to write. But enough about work I don't love my job that much, but neither am I keen to do a Dooce. As for interest rates: I just bought a house last summer, so no, interest rates aren't too low; they're irritatingly high. I'd give you a broader perspective, but frankly, the world of consultancy is much like the world of academia we read what others write, then we mangle it into something else and stick our name on it, then someone else reads what we wrote and writes something new based on what we said and it all goes round and round, and very little of it is based on anything other than opinion and guesswork. I've noticed a startling trend for economic prophesy to self-fulfil. I see this as an enormous opportunity to do good, and my forecasts always err on the side of optimism in the hope that the forecasts themselves might push things in a positive direction. The downside to this strategy is the fundamental truism about forecasting anything always err on the pessimistic side - if you predict it will rain and it doesn't, no one tends to mind; but if you say it will be sunny and a storm arrives, everyone blames you for the weather. It all boils down to mitigating factors most of the time. Things like 9/11 keep us in business consultants the world over could blame the inaccuracy of any forecast made prior to 9/11 on the events of that day and their repercussions (although, the opposite is not true i.e. any forecast made prior to 9/11 that subsequently held true is not lambasted). My ambitions in other directions centre on writing. I did nanowrimo a couple of years ago, and I've written pieces for the odd competition here and there. Essentially, I am being paid to write at the moment, I'd just rather be writing about something I'm passionate about than something I don't really care about one way or the other. My ambitions are sufficiently vague that I can explain them no further than that. At the moment I'm trying to find my feet a bit. Writing a novel was fun, but it takes too long. I think I might be better at writing shorter pieces as I can lose interest in what I'm writing quite easily although, perhaps this five hundred-word answer to a thirty word question might testify to the contrary. Generally, when I read something I have written in the past, I cringe, but the stuff that makes me cringe less is stuff I wrote when I was pissed off about something - so perhaps my ideal job would be as some kind of columnist, writing acerbic rants about anything and everything that annoys me.

squealy - I'm not a financial adviser, but I have just acquired a mortgage - we got a good one with Nationwide that was based more on our ability to pay each month rather than rigidly on our earnings, which bumped up our buying power a good few thousand. We snaffled a fixed rate for two years last August, but I doubt there'll be as many good fixed rate deals about now in the current climate of inevitable and imminent interest rate rises here. If you can get a fixed rate, do it. As soon as the election is over, interest rates are bound to edge upwards more strongly.

JJ: I have been thinking about pulling a nanowrimo myself....how did you enjoy the process and is your work online anywhere?

I loved the process - loved it a lot more than I loved what it produced (which should answer your second question). It was an ideal exercise for someone like me who has loads of ideas, but no discipline. The thing I wrote for nanowrimo is shit, but I haven't thrown it away yet - there's truth to the old addage that you shouldn't read yourself until you've produced more work than you could casually throw in the bin. I still have a vague intention to edit what I wrote and turn it into something better than the malformed skeleton it currently represents. I would recommend it to anyone with any interest in writing - just seeing what a little bit of discipline can achieve in a short time is inspiring - 1,670 words a night soon adds up.

This is brilliant, JJ. Your writing ability shines through, regardless of topic. Work, interest rates, writing. Q6. Have you thought of writing children's books? Maybe angry children's books?

Harry Potter and His Right Wing Views of the Deterioration of Modern British Youth Culture... not sure there's a market. Children's books bore me, so I'm sure if I tried to write one it would bore the reader. I can't stand that Harry Potter gubbins - guy-gets-in-trouble-and-gets- out-of-it-again X 5 so far. Like I said before, I think books might be too long for me - I need to be writing things that people will throw away after they've read and not hold me to in 20 years. I also need to be going home - it's Friday, it's spring, the sun is out, and I fancy a walk through the University Parks on my way home to see if there's a cricket game to watch for an hour. Hope you all have a nice weekend!

I was thinking shorter stories, but written angrily for children. Something like a mini-Lemony Snicket.

But let's turn back to sports. While you're enjoying your cricket and the start of a new weekend, I'm wondering ... Q7. What brought you to SpoFi? What made you join? What keeps you coming back? Have you ever had any reason to leave? What do you think could be better? What's missing?

I get the feeling we're gonna be waiting a long time for the answer to Q7.

Me too. Beautiful sunny weekend here in the UK. We only get one nice weekend a year if we're lucky! Seeya monday!!

...

Good call on the waiting thing - the great british summer arrived at the weekend. It will be gone by Tuesday. I came to SpoFi from MeFi - someone had inadvisedly posted a link to something sporty then been flamed and redirected here. I came too to have a look. I joined at first because I couldn't get into MeFi and didn't like only being able to read and not contribute. Now I come back because I like being boring about sport and it seems to be tolerated around here. I also like the fact that people seem to actually read other people's posts, instead of just using the place as a soap box. Mostly. Nothing has made me want to leave - other than the heavy bias toward American sports that I know very little about - but that's as it should be, given the balance of the population. Also, I've read many links that are probably unintelligable to non-Brits (most of which have involved Bobby Hundreds). I also love that when you Google "Bobby Hundreds" and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky" you are sent to squealy's post on SpoFi. As for improvements or missing elements - nothing occurs straight away. I'll have a think and update this throughout the day as the silly ideas occur.

OK - here's a couple of ideas - the profile pages should have room for a picture and be laid out like the player profile pages used on TV for all kinds of sports - they should have categories for height, weight, the year you "turned SpoFi" etc. Also, there should be a reviews section for reviewing games people attend in person.

Ha! Awesome. Now, we're in danger of getting knocked off the main page, so I'm forced to hurry this leisurely and totally enjoyable interview along ...

also, there should be a reviews section for reviewing games people attend in person. that would be fantastic.

Q8. What (Association) football team do you support? Why? How did you get started as a fan? And if you're not a football fan, what other sport do you watch or play?

Aside from golf, that is. Ahem.

btw, I'm on vacation the rest of this week, and I don't plan on Net access during that time. So we either finish this interview today, or j-girl or Ufez can finish it up for me. (Surprise me.) Only two more questions to go!

Ufez, it's all you.

I'll have a go at it, but I've got a fairly busy work week, so be patient.

Hey, don't get too excited, you two. I may just finish up myself. However, given that JJ still has not answered, I think Ufez will have to be ... ... the Closer. Also, bear in mind that we may be knocked off the main page very soon. (I made it worse by my Yahoo EPL fantasy league post today.)

Ufez, TAG! (JJ, it was a pleasure, sorry I couldn't complete the interview in time.) I'm off on vacation. Good luck, and watch out for the peanut gallery!

I support Liverpool. My Dad is nearly sixty and supports Arsenal. My brother is nearly twenty and supports Man Utd. I am nearly thirty and support Liverpool. I think it would be fair to call any one of us glory hunters. I think we all just picked the team that was doing best when first we got interested in football - plus, I think I liked the Liverpool fans at school better than any of the fans of other teams. I love sport in general - I'm glued to the Snooker World Championship at the moment; I enjoyed the Grand Prix on Sunday; I love watching cricket (on TV, but even better live); I'm a big rugby fan (Support Wasps in England, Ulster in Europe, and Ireland in Internationals); I like Wimbledon, but I'm not that keen on watching tennis in general; I love the golfing majors and the Ryder Cup, but regular tour play bores me for the most part; I don't watch a great deal of football anymore (I don't have Sky TV), but I do enjoy the odd game I catch on terrestrial. I got dragged along to see Watford play Crystal Palace at Vicarage Road this season - that wasn't pretty; I love the summer Olympics, but regualr athletics, or even World Championships etc. bore me; I love the winter Olympics too, but again, find the ski season quite dull to track; cycling is dull, but the Tour de France is magical; I don't follow the horses, but I went to Ascot last year, and that was fun; a night at the dogs is a laugh; the darts world championships are cool, but I'm still not convinced that's a sport; I quite like heavyweight title fights, but otherwise, I've not been into any of the lower divisions since McGuigan retired. In short - I can pretty much get into anything, as long as there's lots at stake and lots of raw human emotion, frailty and strength on show. I love watching people crumble under pressure, almost as much as I love watching people overcome it. In terms of playing - I play a bit of table tennis and badminton in the winter, and a bit of golf in the summer. I also played tennis last night for the first time in a while - might get into that again this summer as I enjoyed it a lot. I'm doing a bit of running at the moment, but only as a partner to help my wife get in shape for a charity run she's doing later in the summer; as a general rule, it bores me to death. No wonder this interview is taking forever - I'm here at weird times, and I can't be brief.

I'm a Liverpool supporter, if you haven't figured it out yet. And my dad's a Gunners fan, too! btw, I hope you join us in the football fantasy league(s?) next season, if you aren't already! But, really, I'm not supposed to be here. Just up late packing. Over to you, Ufez.

There's only one thing worse than being a Liverpool supporter these days, and that's having a dad who follows the Arsenal. 26th May 1989 remains one of the most traumatic sport-watching experiences of my life. I watched the final game of the league season with my dad (Arnold Palmer) on TV in Northern Ireland. Arsenal needed to win by two goals to deny Liverpool the double. It was so dramatic, Nick Hornby wrote a book about it, which was then turned into a film. The trauma for me lay not so much in the sport, but in my dad's reaction to the sport. He's a very mild mannered man as a rule, but, when Michael Thomas scored in injury time to make it 2-0 to Arsenal, he leapt from the sofa like he'd been shot and ran around the room shouting "YES!" at the top of his voice. He ran right up to me as I became ever more foetal in my seat and let out a primal scream in my face as he shook his fists. Amusingly, I think my brother (another mild mannered man) probably behaved in a similar way ten years later (to the day) when Teddy Sheringham scored a last gasp goal of his own to secure the European Cup for Man Utd in Barcelona, completing their much vaunted treble. I don't recall having many moments like that as a Liverpool fan - although the '86 FA Cup Final was probably what sealed the deal in terms of my lifelong support. Take that Gary Lineker.

This has been the most extensive interview ever. Love it. And apologies if I'm not coherent this morning. I was at this tragedy last night and got pissed (erm, both ways, actually). Didn't sleep well. Q9: You've obviously done a fair bit of travelling, so let's hear your worldly opinions. What's your favorite place that you've been? Who has the best food? The friendliest people? The most fun things to do? and as an aside, since you mentioned watching darts, wasn't there a show in the UK circa 1998 that broadcast women playing darts topless, or was that just a rumor?

Ufez, I'm damned if I'm googling for "topless darts" whilst at work, but yes there was. It was on a cable/satellite channel called LiveTV I think.

I didn't really travel that much with my golf - my "career", for want of a better word, spanned a missed cut at Pre-Q in France, then a very brief stint on the Southern Africa Tour (playing Monday qualifiers). I had travelled to South Africa the year before to play in the South African Amateur. Cape Town holds a particular appeal - the people, and the scenery probably top anything else I saw in South Africa. There is a sporting connection too. I stayed in a bed and breakfast run by a Northern Irish couple who now live in Hout Bay. The lady had gone to school with my mother, and her husband was my old headmaster's brother. He also played scrum-half for Ireland and the British Lions in his time (and he recently had this to say about the SA rugby coach job). They were very kind to me and treated me like family during a couple of visits when I was a long way from home. I also stayed with a friend who happens to be the brother of this man, a South African cricketer that no doubt the world would have heard more of were it not for his government's unfortunate stance on equal rights. My friend (who also gets a link) looked after me like I was royalty. He also organised a game of golf for us with his old mate, Morn. Best food - France. I went to Cannes and Monte Carlo last year to play golf with some old uni friends just before I got married. I had a creme brule in this little restaurant in Mougins that I still dream about. We also had dinner one night in Cannes at the table next to this gifted bastard *spit*. Johannesburg had lots of fun things to do - they have this place there, the Vodacom World of Golf, which was just a god-send for a pro with no club attachment. It's pretty much a swanky driving range, but you don't pay for the balls you hit, you just pay for the day. They did good food there too actually. In brief, my favourite place would be a close run thing between Paris and Cape Town (with Cape Town probably just edging it). Topless darts? I'm sure they probably still do that. I'd like to see a movement to get the world championships played topless - Andy Fordham with no shirt on. Be honest ladies, what woman could resist that?

LiveTV (host of topless darts) went bust ages ago though I think it's trying to be revived, and was owned by everyone's favourite tabloid - "The Sun". It was also famous for the news bunny (a man in rabbit costume that read the news), and also featured such TV firsts as dwarves bouncing on trampolines and a female City tipster who shed her clothes as she read out share prices. Andy Fordham topless? Ewwwwwwwww.

I guess I should explain the topless darts thing: When I was doing study abroad in London in the Summer of '98, this girl claimed that she saw it one night. For the next six weeks we all tried to catch it when she claimed it was on to no avail. Nice to hear she wasn't lying about its existence. Of course, this is the same girl that I had to wheel to the hospital after she OD'ed on some cheap ass German speed, but that's a story for a different time. All I can say is God bless your national health care! Anyways, this interview isn't about me... Q10: What do you consume JJ? I'm talking food and drink and print and visual and aural media. Are there other websites you frequent? And of course, who should WaterChestnut2k2 interview next?

haha WaterChestnut.

Fever Pitch: Book was great, movie not so much even though Colin Firth was terrific; apparently an American remake is underweigh but very little detail available as yet. I am quite curious as to the movie version of How to Be Good, which was an odd and different novel.

not sure how old this story is but it looks like they're changing it from soccer to baseball (arsenal to bosox) with gwyneth paltrow in the lead.

American version of Fever Pitch is going to be about the Red Sox.

"The Oscar winner will play the long suffering girlfriend of a man who shows more devotion to the Boston Red Sox than her." As the ex of Affleck, I presume it's say Paltrow's art is imitating life.

As the ex of Affleck, I presume it's safe to say Paltrow's art is imitating life. carry on.

Live TV is back apparently. Just for the record, it was originally owned by the group that owns the Daily Mirror rather than The Sun. Unlikely as that may seem.

Thanks for the correction squealy. Heavens preserve us and save us!

(a reminder to anyone that arrived here by digging through the lockerrom archives - though this thread is now off the lockerroom front page it appears in the main page sidebar for quick access) Changing Fever Pitch from Arsenal to the Red Sox isn't too bad except for the FP narrative including high as well as lows. Since the Red Sox have not really won anything (or at least not the world series) in a bajillion years I guess the narrative will have to clip out or alter the 'joys of victory' parts. The main part - devotion to the team - can still be intact so no problems overall.

Reminds me of the amusing reaction of some to England's 5-1 win over Germany in 2001.

I don't have a favourite food. I like variety and quality, and lots on my plate. I consume everything. Seriously, I can't stop eating. I have hollow legs. I don't have a favourite drink. I drink the Guinness if it's good (and sometimes even if it's not). I'm growing more partial to a warm, flat, English beer, but, when you've just come in off the golf course on a hot day, not much beats a cold, fizzy, yellow lager. I like wine of all colours. I'm fond of the very occasional whiskey (or whisky), prone to the odd dabble in a glass of port, have been known to sink an infrequent gin, and I'm not entirely averse to a glass of Pimms at a summer BBQ. But I'm not an alcoholic or anything. I don't have a favourite author. I like to read Po Bronson, recentl