04/18/24
October 07, 2003
England and Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand forgets to take a drug test: and misses the crucial England v Turkey qualifier. He also, in theory at least, faces a possible 2 year ban...
He was moving for fuck sake!
posted by garfield at 09:24 AM on October 07, 2003
My first thought was that it serves the duck-faced twat right. However, on considering it more deeply I'm still of the same opinion. It's surely the club's responsibility to make sure he turns up for these mandatory tests, it's not up to the testing authorities to go chasing around after him. Man U should take a long look at themselves, and their procedures before pointing fingers at the FA. 36 hours would seem to me to be a time in which traces of outlawed performance-enhancing drugs might fade from your system. Having seen his performances on the pitch recently I don't think there's much danger he's been taking any.
posted by squealy at 09:50 AM on October 07, 2003
HA! Good one squealy.
posted by StarFucker at 10:09 AM on October 07, 2003
He could've been taking pot. "Hey, stop moving so fast, and in so many colors, maaaan." Hahahahaha.
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:19 AM on October 07, 2003
"Sol, are you taking the pot?" responds with hysterical laughter, seemingly under the influence of THC, but really just finds this phrasing irresistibly hilarious.
posted by garfield at 10:52 AM on October 07, 2003
I wish MY name was Rio Ferdinand... Thats a hell of a cool name.
posted by StarFucker at 11:12 AM on October 07, 2003
Hey, wouldn't that be a good FPP? Who has the coolest name in all of sports? How about Jan Venegoor of Hesselink?
posted by StarFucker at 11:13 AM on October 07, 2003
For the record, Mookie Blaylock. SF, you should collect a couple names and post 'em on the front page. It's a great idea.
posted by Samsonov14 at 11:37 AM on October 07, 2003
Pujols! ok, on topic now, I read in the paper the amount of time it takes for a couple of substances to clear your system. traces of coke can be detected 36-48 hours after it was taken while E takes 4 days. so the article that i skimmed may have said. the excuse sounds plausible but of course that is what good but fictional excuses are supposed to sound like. they need to do some random surprise tests on him a couple of times before the season is out to test out his excuse a little.
posted by gspm at 11:58 AM on October 07, 2003
On the subject of cool names in sport, a couple of weeks ago we were flicking through the NFL Yearbook and discovered that Houston had drafted a player called Curry Burns.
posted by salmacis at 12:02 PM on October 07, 2003
how true
posted by garfield at 12:04 PM on October 07, 2003
This all seems somewhat contrived. It seems to me this is cover for some other problems of Rio that hasn't surfaced, that way it's the FA bureaucracy at fault, not one of the key players of England.
posted by GoDizzGo at 01:13 PM on October 07, 2003
GoDizzGo, blame Man U not England. Seems like it's the season for scandal.
posted by squealy at 01:21 PM on October 07, 2003
More scandal: Leeds player has been charged with a serious sexual assault.
posted by Fat Buddha at 01:21 PM on October 07, 2003
More scandal: Leeds player has been charged with a serious sexual assault.
posted by Fat Buddha at 01:21 PM on October 07, 2003
btw, Mookie Blaylock was one the band Pearl Jam's originial name. (Before Temple of the Dog, and after Mother Love Bone)
posted by GoDizzGo at 01:25 PM on October 07, 2003
SoccerNet's articles are reporting that, regardless of whose fault the missed test is, Ferdinand's name should not have come out before a hearing could be held and he also should not have been held out of the England squad. That is, had the FA followed the process used in past instances. Further, they have an article saying that Becks and several other squadmembers will refuse to play in protest. Now doesn't England need at least a draw to qualify for Portugal?
posted by billsaysthis at 01:30 PM on October 07, 2003
bill, we need at least a draw to qualify automatically. A defeat will mean a play-off place.
posted by squealy at 01:39 PM on October 07, 2003
They need it to qualify automatically. If they lose they have a play-off against.....Holland.
posted by GoDizzGo at 01:40 PM on October 07, 2003
Still more scandal...Fat Buddha is pants.
posted by StarFucker at 01:42 PM on October 07, 2003
Still more scandal...Fat Buddha is pants.
posted by StarFucker at 01:42 PM on October 07, 2003
Did we get a little overexcited old chap?
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:01 PM on October 07, 2003
How come you and the Buddha are posting double? Have you been, erm, tested?
posted by worldcup2002 at 03:02 PM on October 07, 2003
Buddha apparently doesn't understand my double post...Look at your previous post, chuffer.
posted by StarFucker at 03:13 PM on October 07, 2003
How the hell did that happen! It's a chuffin fix.
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:15 PM on October 07, 2003
HA! Now who's excited?!
posted by StarFucker at 03:24 PM on October 07, 2003
I think you're all pants. I don't really know what that means, but it sounds great.
posted by Samsonov14 at 04:06 PM on October 07, 2003
Holland? I thought the draw for that was next week.
posted by taupe at 04:09 PM on October 07, 2003
Holland? Are you on the sauce, too?
posted by worldcup2002 at 05:09 PM on October 07, 2003
I aint excited, I am exercised Pants, as a phrase, is pants itself. Spofi: we are all pants.
posted by Fat Buddha at 05:10 PM on October 07, 2003
...we are all pants.
Isn't that a Moby track?
posted by lilnemo at 05:20 PM on October 07, 2003
We are all pants Each and every one of us Builing a pantlike bridge to a brighter day A day of peace, a day of love A day of pants We are all pants
posted by Samsonov14 at 05:55 PM on October 07, 2003
Right on Samsonov14!!
* holds up much-abused Bic lighter*
posted by lilnemo at 05:57 PM on October 07, 2003
I am just a poor boy A stranger in this town. Oooh I need a dirty woman, Oooh I need some dirty pants!
posted by billsaysthis at 07:37 PM on October 07, 2003
You guys are cracking me up... We will, we will PANTS you...
posted by StarFucker at 09:25 PM on October 07, 2003
And the menus are all freezing And the light man's blind in one eye And he can't see out of the other And the PANTS tuner's got a hearing aid And he showed up with his mother And the PANTS have been drinking... The PANTS have been drinking...oh, forget it.
posted by taupe at 11:26 PM on October 07, 2003
WE are the pants! We are the trousers! We are the pants who'll make a brighter day so let's start giving ...
posted by worldcup2002 at 01:05 AM on October 08, 2003
posted by fullerine at 03:48 AM on October 08, 2003
Someone needs to dope-test this thread. Especially the rhyming parts. Failing to take a dope test is as serious as failing a dope test. There's a reason for that, because by the time you take another, the offending substances may clear from your system. As a professional athlete who only has to do this once a year, Rio should have been responsible and taken the test. As it is, he has technically failed it, and they're saying they will crack down hard on him, which could mean up to a two and a half year ban. I personally can't understand why Man Utd would fail to protect their investment in this way, but at the end of the day it's Rio who has to take the test, not Man Utd. That said, this is not the approach taken by the FA last time this happened, when a Man City player forgot to take a test. He was fined 2000 pounds and is as yet un-named. So there's something dodgy going on. Probably just the new Chief Exec. of the FA (Mark Palios) making a name for himself, if you ask me. This morning the media are reporting that all the other squad players have voted to go on strike unless Rio can play ... no they haven't ... yes they have ... I'll let you know when the BBC makes its mind up.
posted by walrus at 06:31 AM on October 08, 2003
Oops ... I meant once or twice a year, not once a year. They're random, but once to twice a year is apparently the rough frequency at which they occur for an individual. Point remains: it's his responsibility as a professional to attend, and the only acceptable excuse is usually something like serious illness or a death in the family. Moving house is something you arrange in advance, and you could presumably get the test moved or move house on a different day if your career is at stake.
posted by walrus at 06:35 AM on October 08, 2003
I should point out, in the name thread, that there will never, ever be a better sports name than Michigan State's Napoleon Outlaw. Though, Majestic Mapp (and his brother Scientific) run a close second.
posted by tieguy at 09:34 AM on October 08, 2003
MOving house? Some guy who makes millions a year takes time off to move house? wtf? Does he need to make sure the professional movers can't find it? That's a good one.
posted by worldcup2002 at 09:48 AM on October 08, 2003
The Leeds dude is named, should anyone be prurient enough to want that information.
posted by Fat Buddha at 12:18 PM on October 08, 2003
A link about the possible player boycott (still pending AFAIK). Also, here's a BBC pro/con job which gets more gritty about the whys and why nots.
posted by walrus at 12:41 PM on October 08, 2003
Player names. I quite like Fenerbahce's Mustafa Doggon because I always think he'll be off to the races soon. Then there's Paraguay's Chiqui Arce ... I used to know more but my brain is malfunctioning.
posted by walrus at 12:53 PM on October 08, 2003
Soccernet is saying that rio did return to the grounds for a test two hours after he left, realizing what had happened, but that the testers were already packing up or had left and so he was told no dice. Now if he was trying to hide something, two hours would hardly be sufficient, right? Also, if the players boycott, anyone think the UEFAns would impose the death penalty? Which would apparently be an option.
posted by billsaysthis at 01:40 PM on October 08, 2003
Channel 5 news just said the players had agreed to play. We should of course all bow down and be grateful that they choose to represent our country. Apparently Ferdinand has been phoning them up and asking them to play, which at least shows some sense on his part.
posted by squealy at 03:34 PM on October 08, 2003
Owen's definitely out though. The Turks must be laughing their socks off at all the antics the England players are having at the moment. The England camp have been acting like spoilt children - it's the manager that picks the team, not the players, and it's not as if Rio has anything major to object to - he's missed a drugs test, ok, maybe it was a mistake, but you make the mistake, and you pay the penalty - and it's not as if we don't have other good defenders available (this is the first and last time I ever praise Matthew Upson eh?). I remember when we played Lichtenstein, and David Beckham ruled himself in for the game, despite having a chance of picking up another yellow card and missing the Turkey game. I was thinking - surely it's Sven's decision whether to play him or not, or am I harking back to a bygone era when managers decided which players to pick?
posted by BigCalm at 03:25 AM on October 09, 2003
John Terry will get Rio's place, or so I read. The interesting question is which strikers will be in the starting XI...
posted by billsaysthis at 01:18 PM on October 09, 2003
Beattie and Rooney hopefully.
posted by StarFucker at 02:11 PM on October 09, 2003
Beattie and Rooney hopefully.
posted by StarFucker at 02:11 PM on October 09, 2003
Damn!
posted by StarFucker at 02:11 PM on October 09, 2003
Damn!
posted by worldcup2002 at 02:21 PM on October 09, 2003
Double Damn!
posted by walrus at 03:57 AM on October 10, 2003
Damn all of you damned souls!
posted by billsaysthis at 11:39 AM on October 10, 2003
So he forgot...seems like they are making a big deal out of this. He went and passed the test 2 days later, what the fuck?!