Why you won't see "the wave" in Milwaukee tonight: Going to tonight's Brewers-Nats game? Get a free rectal exam and receive two free tickets to a future game.
posted by DrJohnEvans to culture at 03:26 PM - 15 comments
Hey, look! I found Bud Selig's head! Plenty of good seats still available. I got a million of 'em.
posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 03:34 PM on May 08
That's hilarious. Finally a team physically offers what sports have been doing figuratively for years...
posted by Drood at 03:45 PM on May 08
This is the same ballpark where the little brewer dude slides down the chute after a homerun, right? A coincidence, no?
posted by THX-1138 at 03:59 PM on May 08
Well, going to a Nationals game already qualifies as a pain in the ass, so why not?
posted by The_Black_Hand at 04:00 PM on May 08
This really is funny as hell, but also very impressive. Not only is it a fantastic public service, but should bring throngs out to the ballpark. If, like the rest of America, half of Milwaukeeans don't have health insurance, thats a significant amount of men who, baseball fans or not, would be foolish not to take advantage of the opportunity. If their families tag along with them, that's a lot of people coming out to the ballpark. Even if they only get the free tix and don't spend money on any more, the concessions would make it worth the money spent. Fifteen thousand men drinking eight dollar MGD creates a hell of a profit margin! Seems worth it to pay a doc some money to lube up the old fingers, strap on a headlamp, and see what's brewin'.
posted by tahoemoj at 04:41 PM on May 08
Not only is it a fantastic public service, but should bring throngs out to the ballpark. Whew. For a second there I thought you said, "thongs." That would be wrong. Even on Bobblefinger Night at the ballpark. I'm rolling.
posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 05:05 PM on May 08
Whew. For a second there I thought you said, "thongs." Add me to that list. Honestly though, I can't imagine going back to those horribly uncomfortable plastic seats after being probed. And the horror of seeing all those foam fingers! Fifteen thousand men drinking eight dollar MGD creates a hell of a profit margin! I think they might have to have the beer first... Then the probe.
posted by yay-yo at 05:33 PM on May 08
No appointment is necessary and you can bring your glove if you want to. Latex, I presume. Thanks for a good laugh, Dr. John (and all of the other contributors as well). Of course, prostate cancer is not funny, so I applaud the Brewers for the promotion. Still, it does lend itself to more than a little satire.
posted by Howard_T at 06:20 PM on May 08
Fifteen thousand men drinking eight dollar MGD creates a hell of a profit margin potential mess on the floor of the prostate exam vehicle. Stop by for a free chili dog! Pitching tonight for the Brewers, Paul Assenmacher. Leading the way in the early going for Milwaukee is young shortstop J.J. Hardy, who leads the team in RBI. Fittingly, he'll bat from the No. 2 hole tonight. National manager Manny Acta said he was pleased to be in town for the promotion, although he had to alter his pre-game ritual. "I normally go out and sign some autographs, maybe throw some BP, but the Brewers took my plans ... and rectum." Thanks, I'll be here all week. Try the veal!
posted by wfrazerjr at 07:03 PM on May 08
Brings new meaning to "going deep" now doesn't it? Watch out for the two finger fastball! Seriously, I've given blood at a ballgame, butt, I can not imagine getting my backside probed at a ballpark.
posted by dviking at 09:45 PM on May 08
Its a good cause, but would you really wanna do that, and then sit through a 9 inning baseball game, maybe a little discomforting
posted by dlopez916 at 11:30 PM on May 08
I can not imagine getting my backside probed at a ballpark. You've just been taking the wrong people to the ballpark.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 05:57 AM on May 09
I usually go to the games and fill out credit card applications in order to get a free shirt, hat, beach towel, whatever. I never really thought about being able to go to a game and get someones fingers shoved up my ass in order to receive an item. It really is something men should have checked, though.
posted by dyams at 07:40 AM on May 09
"Moon River! Got the whole fist up there doc?"
posted by 1651 Naismith at 01:43 PM on May 09
You've just been taking the wrong people to the ballpark. --The_Black_Hand That, in and of itself, is funny.
posted by THX-1138 at 03:28 PM on May 09
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