DrJohnEvans's profile

Homepage URL: http://blackiceblueturf.vsport.tv/
Location: Trawna
Member since: March 11, 2004
Last visit: May 26, 2015

DrJohnEvans has posted 229 links and 1705 comments to SportsFilter and 138 links and 1250 comments to the Locker Room.

Sports Bio

of DrJohnEvans: scholar, gentleman, SpoFite

In a nutshell
The teams
The platform
The commendations
Great moments in sports journalism

Hot Chat update: Thinking about integrating directly with Twitter. In the meantime, I'm on there, if that's your sort of thing.

In a nutshell

Go Jays. Go Sens. Go Furious George GOAT. Go rouge.

(Lose Leafs Lose.)

In our hearts forever: Andy Peters vs. Rob Ray. Okay, so it turns out that you can't watch that video anymore. Damn. In its place, I present to you Aaron Downey vs Brad Norton—the fight that changed the NHL forever.

Sara Orlesky is cute, but Patricia Boal is always in the right place at the right time.

The teams

Coming real soon.

The platform

There are certain inalienable truths in sports, at least according to me.

  1. "Intangibles" do not exist in any meaningful form. If a player brings something "intangible" to his team, that should be reflected in either his individual stats or the team's stats. If not, then his "intangibles" have no value and are not worth discussing.

  2. The NHL's regular season standings will remain inherently unfair until all games are worth the same number of points.

  3. The pitch-out is the best play ever conceived in any sport.

  4. You are not a unique snowflake: everybody here is a fan of a team. Referring to said team in the first-person possessive does nothing to strengthen your argument or make you stand out. Indeed, a comment beginning with "My Brewers" taints the comment's value by informing me that you're arguing through the blue-and-gold-tinted glasses of a Brewers fan, and not objectively as a sports fan. Be proud, but be reasonable.

  5. Winning breeds relaxation, losing breeds frustration. It is infinitely easier to get along with your teammates when you're winning lots of games. Let's stop gazing at .600 teams and talking about how they're all bosom buddies. (Feel free to do the same with .400 teams, though.)

The commendations

"... an integral part of the Sportsfilter.com experience." — NoMich

"DrJohnEvans … should be reading medicine articles if [he is] really a doctor and stop complaining so much." — LROD

"DrJohnEvans [is] only the median if you give extra weight in the direction of users who have posted more than one comment." — mexican

"... DrJohnEvans is now my new friend." — Kleptophoria!

"Where's DrJohnEvans with a cool scoring table when you need him?" — The_Black_Hand

Great moments in sports journalism

Like most discriminating SpoFites, I'm really picky about the commentators and analysts that I have to watch and listen to. Fortunately, there are a few shining stars which pop up on my television. Included with your basic Rogers Cable package up here is a scrappy small-market sports channel, The Score. Their programming's centred around their near-constant highlight/update reels. They're my favourite in terms of sports news and entertainment: they just have fun with the stuff.

Tell it like it is

Sunday afternoons feature The Score on the NFL, which keeps track of the millions of games going on at once. December 19, they were doing their usual mid-afternoon round-up. The game was Minnesota at Detroit:

[highlight reel running]

"Minnesota gets one late in the fourth quarter to go up by seven, but it doesn't matter, because Detroit marches right back to score the major with eight seconds left in the game."

[boxscore screen comes up]

"It's still 28-27 as we're just waiting for the extra point, I'm just watching it now... and THEY MUFFED THE SNAP! They muffed the snap! Amazing. Amazing. Eight seconds left, the touchdown, and they muffed the snap. Okay, hang on, we gotta get you this picture. Amazing. Amazing."

[highlight comes up]

"Okay, here is it. This JUST HAPPENED, folks. Detroit scores to nearly tie it up, and they muff the snap. Amazing. Amazing. Man. Lions suck."

I love good sports journalism.

How to call a Tampa Bay home run

From MLB highlights on The Score Tonight, Summer 2006:
TIM: Fifth inning, Johnny Gomes at the dish. Now he's a model, if you know what I mean, 'cause he does his little thing on the catwalk.

SID: On the catwalk?

TIM: On the catwalk, yeah.

SID: He does his little thing on the catwalk?

TIM: That's correct.

Recent Links

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Final Standings: Hamilton finds a way to make it interesting, but an illegal block on a last-minute punt return means that Calgary hangs on for the big win. No such drama in our little pick 'em, though, as slow and steady always seems to come out on top. Final standings are inside.

posted by DrJohnEvans to fantasy at 09:27 PM on December 03 - 4 comments

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Grey Cup Edition: Big blowouts on the field push the favourites into the big game. But in our little contest, there are no favourites: we have six players within two points of first place. Break out your spreadsheets to calculate your tiebreaker (I have a feeling you'll need it), and make your picks inside.

posted by DrJohnEvans to fantasy at 01:41 PM on November 27 - 14 comments

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Finals Edition: The favourites rule the day as Edmonton and Montreal both move on to their division finals. Montreal wins a trip to Hamilton (snow; rude fans) while Edmonton gets a trip to Calgary (cold; cows). Meanwhile, in our little standings, there are some familiar faces in familiar places. Bundle up and make your picks inside.

posted by DrJohnEvans to fantasy at 04:10 PM on November 19 - 14 comments

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Semi-Finals Edition: It's snowing in Toronto and the Edmonton Eskimos have an injured quarterback: two sure signs that yes, it is indeed time for the CFL playoffs! All summer long you wistfully watched the hot pick 'em action from afar; now's your chance to join the fray. It's a new season and everybody starts at zero (or with the exchange rate, 0.0000142 US), so grab your twelfth man and make your picks inside.

posted by DrJohnEvans to fantasy at 09:44 AM on November 13 - 14 comments

CFL Pick 'Em, Final Standings: In a perfect ending to this wild and wacky season, we look atop the standings and find ourselves with a tie. But not the one you were expecting!

posted by DrJohnEvans to fantasy at 12:21 AM on November 11 - 8 comments

Recent Comments

NFL Moves PAT Kicks Back to 15-Yard Line

The CFL made a similar rule change earlier this year, pushing back points-after by 20 yards. But what's interesting (and to grum's point) is that they've pushed UP two-point conversions by two yards. The goal was to reduce the single-point success rate and encourage more two-point conversions.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 09:54 PM on May 19

The gym on the Titanic, and other early 19th century ocean liners.

Fun! Thanks for the link.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 07:32 PM on March 22

Is Charlie Brown the Worst Manager Ever?

This is great.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 08:08 AM on March 04

New MLB Commissioner: We May Ban Defensive Shifts

Dave Cameron did a pretty good job of summarizing the entire Internet's reaction to this: shifts aren't to blame for the drop in offence.

The primary culprit is the strike zone's out-of-control growth.

It's incredibly frustrating that new rules are being spitballed, when all the solutions to the game's problems already exist in the rulebook. Call the zone correctly, enforce the 12-second pitch rule without any stupid clocks, and you're golden.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 01:42 PM on January 27

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Final Standings

Calgary jumps out to a big early lead, but Hamilton throws up a late first-half TD to make things interesting. Calgary then busts out the Rich Stubler bend-but-don't-break defence, stifling Hamilton in the red zone as they kick 3 field goals to make it close. With the fourth-quarter clock at 1:12 and ticking down, Calgary punts to Brandon Banks, who runs a spectacular 90 yards for the go-ahead touchdown—which is heartbreakingly called back on an illegal block. Calgary makes the most of it and hangs on for the Grey Cup win.

HAM @ CGYMVP BonusO/U Bonus
ResultCalgary by 4MitchellUnder
Margin of Error3 to 5

Points were tough to come by, but ic23b capitalizes on his early lead, and only needs two points to take the crown, no tiebreaker needed. Congratulations!

And in the other corner, with back-to-back Costanzas to his name, it's bender! Well (?) done.

SpoFiteHAM @ CGYSMVPO/UPointsTotal Points
ic23bCalgary Mitchell 29
Howard_TCalgary Mitchell 28
DrJohnEvansCalgary Mitchell 28
cixelsydCalgary 18
JPRCalgary4 Mitchell 48
ReeverCalgary 17
argoalCalgary Mitchell 27
owlhouseCalgary MitchellUnder37
goddamCalgary Mitchell 26
tommytrump 04
grum@workCalgary 13
bender Under11

Thanks again to each and every one of you for playing along. See y'all in June!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 09:27 PM on December 03

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Grey Cup Edition

Calgary by 18
590 yards

posted by DrJohnEvans at 02:36 PM on November 28

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Grey Cup Edition

Also! Want to watch the game? Here's how.

In short: TSN in Canada, ESPN2 in the States, streaming on TSN GO.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 01:43 PM on November 27

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Grey Cup Edition

Big second quarters from the home teams put both games out of reach early. Hamilton rides its special teams to a convincing win over Montreal, and Calgary rides the arm of Bo Levi Mitchell, who throws for 4 TDs to send the Esks packing.

In bonus action, the aforementioned Bo Levi edges Jonathan Crompton for the yardage crown, while Edmonton's three sacks carry the day (if not the win).

ResultHamilton by 16Calgary by 25MitchellEdmonton
Margin of Error11 to 2118 to 33

The on-field games may have been blowouts, but here in the Pick 'Em we're all about keeping it close. A tie for first, and a three-way tie for third. Nothing's been settled yet!

SpoFiteMTL @ HAMSEDM @ CGYSOWC BonusDWC BonusPointsTotal Points
cixelsydHamilton13Calgary 37
ic23bHamilton Calgary Mitchell 37
DrJohnEvansHamilton Calgary Mitchell 36
Howard_THamilton17Calgary18 46
ReeverHamilton11Calgary MitchellEdmonton56
argoalHamilton 15
goddam Edmonton14
owlhouse Edmonton14
JPRHamilton Calgary 24
tommytrumpHamilton17Calgary 14
rcade 03
grum@work Calgary 12
bender 00

And here we go!


Hamilton Tiger-Cats (9-9) @ Calgary Stampeders (15-3) (Sunday, November 30)

I could talk about a lot of things in previewing this game. I could talk about Calgary's deep offence or Hamilton's tough defence. I could talk about Calgary's sterling record in a tough division despite suffering through serious injuries, or Hamilton battling back from a tough start to just barely make the playoffs. But for me, this game comes down to one thing: two great young quarterbacks, Bo Levi Mitchell and Zach Collaros, getting a chance to ply their trade indoors, in the biggest game of the year.

CFL.ca Grey Cup Preview »

MVP Bonus

Pick the MVP of the Grey Cup.


The points-scored O/U for the Grey Cup is currently set at 52.5. Will the total points scored be over or under that total?


Pick the total yardage thrown by all quarterbacks in the Grey Cup. This is worth no points and will be used only in case of a tie.

Example pick: Hamilton by 21, Cornish, Under, 500.

Good luck!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 01:41 PM on November 27

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Finals Edition

Hamilton by 10 and hoping I'm wrong
Calgary by 14

posted by DrJohnEvans at 11:31 AM on November 23

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Finals Edition

So much for Western dominance: Montreal piles on the points to send B.C. packing. Things are a bit tighter in Edmonton, but despite not scoring an offensive touchdown, the Esks find an early lead and never look back.

Special teams wins the day in Edmonton, as 12 of the Eskimos' 18 points come off the boot of Hugh O'Neill. And despite Saskatchewan's attempts to keep scoring low, Montreal's blowout ensure that we hit the over - although only by 5 points!

BC @ MTLSSK @ EDMKicking BonusLVP Bonus
ResultMontreal by 33Edmonton by 8O'NeillOver
Margin of Error23 to 436 to 10

Some familiar faces in familiar positions here: argoal, cixelsyd... bender.

SpoFiteBC @ MTLSSSK @ EDMSKickingLVPPointsTotal Points
cixelsydMontreal Edmonton9 Over44
ic23bMontreal Edmonton O'NeillOver44
argoalMontreal Edmonton8 44
DrJohnEvansMontreal Edmonton7 33
goddamMontreal Edmonton Over33
owlhouseMontreal Edmonton Over33
rcadeMontreal Edmonton Over33
Howard_TMontreal Edmonton 22
JPRMontreal Edmonton 22
grum@workMontreal 11
tommytrumpMontreal 11
ReeverMontreal 11
bender 00

It's all going according to form as we move on to the:


Montreal Alouettes (9-9) @ Hamilton Tiger-Cats (9-9) (Sunday, November 23)

Here's an even match-up if ever there was one. With the season series tied, and Hamilton breaking the tie on point differential, these two teams have been neck and neck for the past three months. It'll come down to Hamilton's energetic young QB Zach Collaros against Montreal's strong defence. But Hamilton's defence is not so shoddy either, allowing only one point more than Montreal's this season. And on the other hand, Montreal just dropped seven touchdowns in their semi. So this would be a good opportunity to borrow bender's flipping coin.

CFL.ca Eastern Final Preview »

Edmonton Eskimos (12-6) @ Calgary Stampeders (15-3) (Sunday, November 23)

Just like they drew it up: the best offence in the league against the stingiest defence in the league. Calgary will bring QB Bo Levi Mitchell and RB Jon Cornish against the Eskimos' strong and healthy d-line. When healthy, Calgary's been the class of the West for the entire year, but we are in November now, and weather can have a huge impact on offense. Keep an eye on that forecast.

CFL.ca Western Final Preview »

Offence Wins Championships Bonus

Pick the quarterback who will throw for the highest yardage on Sunday.

2014 Passing Stats »

Defence Wins Championships Bonus

Pick the team whose defence will register the most sacks on Sunday.

Example pick: Montreal by 21, Edmonton by 14, Crompton, Calgary.

Good luck!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 04:11 PM on November 19

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Semi-Finals Edition

Montreal by 7
Edmonton by 7

posted by DrJohnEvans at 11:01 AM on November 13

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Semi-Finals Edition

B.C. Lions (9-9) @ Montreal Alouettes (9-9) (Sunday, November 16)

All season long it's been a story of two divisions, so what better way to kick things off than a crossover? In what was supposed to be a lost year for the Lions, Kevin Glenn has done just enough in what could very well be his last kick at the can. Some key early wins in the West, combined with a bunch of points against the East have given them just enough to make the playoffs. But they're not exactly underdogs against this strange Montreal team, which was 1-7 at midseason, and has put together an incredibly unlikely string of victories at the hands of rookie CFLer Jonathan Crompton. So I have a feeling this one will come down to defence.

CFL.ca Eastern Semi-Final Preview »

Saskatchewan Roughriders (10-8) @ Edmonton Eskimos (12-6) (Sunday, November 16)

Two ambitious teams held back by injuries: Saskatchewan, your defending Grey Cup champions, were off to a hot start and looking to repeat, until they lost star QB Damien Durant at midseason and were forced to bring Kerry Joseph out of retirement. It's been a tough slog for them since, and they come into the playoffs having lost five of their last six games. Edmonton's rising star QB Mike Reilly has kept them in the picture all season long; with a few more breaks, they easily could've taken the division lead. But speaking of breaks, that same Reilly suffered a broken foot bone two weeks ago, and is highly questionable for this game.

CFL.ca Western Semi-Final Preview »

Swayze Waters River Salmon Bonus

Pick the kicker who will score the most points this weekend. That includes place-kick field goals, drop-kick field goals, PATs, singles, and fake field goals thrown for touchdowns.

2014 Kicking Stats »

Las Vegas Posse Memorial Bonus

The combined over/under on total points scored for both games is 90.5. Will the actual number of points scored this weekend be OVER or UNDER that total?

Example pick: Montreal by 21, Saskatchewan by 14, Whyte, Over.

Good luck!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 09:44 AM on November 13

CFL Pick 'Em, Final Standings

Toronto digs deep and gets the win, but it's all for naught as Hamilton cruises to victory over Montreal, securing the division title for the Ti-Cats and eliminating the Argos. Out west, B.C. comes up short in a must-win against Calgary, relegating them to crossover status. And in one final bid to generate typos in the 2014 regular season, Saskatchewan wins.

ResultToronto by 18Calgary by 17Hamilton by 14Saskatchewan by 7
Margin of Error13 to 2312 to 2210 to 185 to 9

Well, how 'bout this: argoal hangs onto first, but cixelsyd notches a solid five points to join him, and becomes the Pick 'Em's first repeat winner to boot! How appropriate that in this, the weirdest season of seasons, we conclude with a tie. Congratulations argoal and cixelsyd!

In Constanza land, bender opened the season with a perfect 0-for-12 and never looked back, spending a solid 13 weeks in last place. A well-earned Costanza for the hardest-working nickel in the land. Congratulations, bender!

SpoFiteOTT @ TORSCGY @ BCSMTL @ HAMSEDM @ SSKSPointsTotal Points
argoalToronto Saskatchewan 274
cixelsydToronto Calgary Hamilton10 7574
JPR Calgary Hamilton 273
Howard_T Calgary Hamilton11Saskatchewan 470
rcadeToronto Hamilton Saskatchewan 368
Reever Calgary Hamilton 267
ic23bToronto18 Hamilton Saskatchewan 563
goddam Saskatchewan 162
owlhouse 061
DrJohnEvansToronto Hamilton10Saskatchewan 461
tommytrumpToronto Calgary Hamilton16Saskatchewan 561
benderToronto Saskatchewan 252

Thanks to everyone for playing along, and for being a part of one of SportsFilter's most hallowed summer traditions. We here at CFL Pick 'Em Headquarters just couldn't do it without ya.

And of course, stay tuned for the playoff pick 'em!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 12:21 AM on November 11

CFL Pick 'Em, Week 20

Toronto by 8
B.C. by 12
Hamilton by 10
Saskatchewan by 18

posted by DrJohnEvans at 07:22 PM on November 06

CFL Pick 'Em, Week 20

Hamilton overcomes a slow start to beat Ottawa and keep their playoff hopes alive. Winnipeg digs deep for a big win against visiting Calgary. Edmonton accepts the challenge and hands B.C. a beatdown to clinch a home playoff date, while Toronto comes up short in Montreal, and find themselves on the outside looking in.

ResultHamilton by 9Winnipeg by 5Edmonton by 34Montreal by 3
Margin of Error6 to 124 to 724 to 442 to 4

Heading into the final week, argoal maintains his lead. But! JPR is within one, and cixelsyd is within three. Can argoal hang on?

SpoFiteHAM @ OTTSWPG @ CGYSBC @ EDMSTOR @ MTLSPointsTotal Points
argoalHamilton11 Edmonton 372
JPRHamilton Edmonton Montreal4471
cixelsydHamilton7Winnipeg Edmonton Montreal 569
Howard_THamilton8 Montreal 366
rcade Edmonton Montreal 265
ReeverHamilton Edmonton Montreal 365
owlhouse 9 Edmonton Montreal 361
goddamHamilton Winnipeg 5 Montreal2661
ic23bHamilton Montreal4358
DrJohnEvansHamilton10 Edmonton Montreal 457
tommytrump 056
benderHamilton10Winnipeg Montreal 450


Final week! Everything is up for grabs. Except of course for the first two spots in the West.

Ottawa @ Toronto (Friday, November 7)
So here's the deal: Toronto needs to win. That, combined with a Hamilton loss, will get them into the playoffs. BUT Ricky Ray is out with a concussion, and the Argos have been anything but consistent. Can they pull it off?

Calgary @ B.C. (Saturday, November 7)
Calgary's got the division title wrapped up and could use some rest. B.C., meanwhile, needs a win to avoid crossing over to the East. Although perhaps that route would be preferable. What would Kevin Glenn do?

Montreal @ Hamilton (Saturday, November 8)
The equation is simple: win and you're in. Lose, and you're not in, unless it's Montreal who loses, in which case both of these teams make the playoffs anyway. BUT if Hamilton wins by more than seven, they claim the division title and a first-round bye. Okay, maybe it's not so simple.

Edmonton @ Saskatchewan (Saturday, November 8)
Saskatchewan's in the same boat as the Lions. Win and stay in the West, lose and cross over to the East. Edmonton, on the other hand, has locked up a home playoff date, and you can be sure they'll be resting their regulars.

Good luck!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 09:52 PM on November 05