DrJohnEvans's profile

Homepage URL: http://blackiceblueturf.vsport.tv/
Location: Trawna
Member since: March 11, 2004
Last visit: October 10, 2015

DrJohnEvans has posted 243 links and 1749 comments to SportsFilter and 138 links and 1250 comments to the Locker Room.

Sports Bio

of DrJohnEvans: scholar, gentleman, SpoFite

In a nutshell
The teams
The platform
The commendations
Great moments in sports journalism

Hot Chat update: Thinking about integrating directly with Twitter. In the meantime, I'm on there, if that's your sort of thing.

In a nutshell

Go Jays. Go Sens. Go Furious George GOAT. Go rouge.

(Lose Leafs Lose.)

In our hearts forever: Andy Peters vs. Rob Ray. Okay, so it turns out that you can't watch that video anymore. Damn. In its place, I present to you Aaron Downey vs Brad Norton—the fight that changed the NHL forever.

Sara Orlesky is cute, but Patricia Boal is always in the right place at the right time.

The teams

Coming real soon.

The platform

There are certain inalienable truths in sports, at least according to me.

  1. "Intangibles" do not exist in any meaningful form. If a player brings something "intangible" to his team, that should be reflected in either his individual stats or the team's stats. If not, then his "intangibles" have no value and are not worth discussing.

  2. The NHL's regular season standings will remain inherently unfair until all games are worth the same number of points.

  3. The pitch-out is the best play ever conceived in any sport.

  4. You are not a unique snowflake: everybody here is a fan of a team. Referring to said team in the first-person possessive does nothing to strengthen your argument or make you stand out. Indeed, a comment beginning with "My Brewers" taints the comment's value by informing me that you're arguing through the blue-and-gold-tinted glasses of a Brewers fan, and not objectively as a sports fan. Be proud, but be reasonable.

  5. Winning breeds relaxation, losing breeds frustration. It is infinitely easier to get along with your teammates when you're winning lots of games. Let's stop gazing at .600 teams and talking about how they're all bosom buddies. (Feel free to do the same with .400 teams, though.)

The commendations

"... an integral part of the Sportsfilter.com experience." — NoMich

"DrJohnEvans … should be reading medicine articles if [he is] really a doctor and stop complaining so much." — LROD

"DrJohnEvans [is] only the median if you give extra weight in the direction of users who have posted more than one comment." — mexican

"... DrJohnEvans is now my new friend." — Kleptophoria!

"Where's DrJohnEvans with a cool scoring table when you need him?" — The_Black_Hand

Great moments in sports journalism

Like most discriminating SpoFites, I'm really picky about the commentators and analysts that I have to watch and listen to. Fortunately, there are a few shining stars which pop up on my television. Included with your basic Rogers Cable package up here is a scrappy small-market sports channel, The Score. Their programming's centred around their near-constant highlight/update reels. They're my favourite in terms of sports news and entertainment: they just have fun with the stuff.

Tell it like it is

Sunday afternoons feature The Score on the NFL, which keeps track of the millions of games going on at once. December 19, they were doing their usual mid-afternoon round-up. The game was Minnesota at Detroit:

[highlight reel running]

"Minnesota gets one late in the fourth quarter to go up by seven, but it doesn't matter, because Detroit marches right back to score the major with eight seconds left in the game."

[boxscore screen comes up]

"It's still 28-27 as we're just waiting for the extra point, I'm just watching it now... and THEY MUFFED THE SNAP! They muffed the snap! Amazing. Amazing. Eight seconds left, the touchdown, and they muffed the snap. Okay, hang on, we gotta get you this picture. Amazing. Amazing."

[highlight comes up]

"Okay, here is it. This JUST HAPPENED, folks. Detroit scores to nearly tie it up, and they muff the snap. Amazing. Amazing. Man. Lions suck."

I love good sports journalism.

How to call a Tampa Bay home run

From MLB highlights on The Score Tonight, Summer 2006:
TIM: Fifth inning, Johnny Gomes at the dish. Now he's a model, if you know what I mean, 'cause he does his little thing on the catwalk.

SID: On the catwalk?

TIM: On the catwalk, yeah.

SID: He does his little thing on the catwalk?

TIM: That's correct.

Recent Links

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Fifteen: Tight margins and underdog wins mean that points are hard to come by this week, but that doesn't mean we don't see movement in the standings. No, not at the top. Grab your bronzer and make your picks inside.

posted by DrJohnEvans to fantasy at 05:13 AM on September 30 - 17 comments

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Fourteen: If the playoffs started today... we'd all have a lot more time on our hands. Especially if we lived in Saskatchewan. But we've still got seven more weeks of tooth-and-nail battles for the Costanza, so sharpen your pencils and make your picks inside.

posted by DrJohnEvans to fantasy at 08:46 AM on September 23 - 18 comments

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Thirteen: Inevitably, Saskatchewan returns to its losing ways. But cheer up, fans of the underdog, for we may just have the beginnings of an actual race for first in our little Pick 'Em. Cross your fingers and make your picks inside.

posted by DrJohnEvans to fantasy at 10:11 AM on September 15 - 17 comments

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Twelve: SASKATCHEWAN WON A GAME. Make your picks inside.

posted by DrJohnEvans to fantasy at 04:34 PM on September 09 - 17 comments

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Eleven: The in-season drama has been kind to the schedule-makers. This year's Labour Day Classics could turn over the top of the standings in both divisions. You can't buy that sort of drama at your dollar store's DVD discount bin. Put down your hammer and make your picks inside.

posted by DrJohnEvans to fantasy at 03:35 PM on September 02 - 17 comments

Recent Comments

CFL Pick 'Em, Week 16

Huge thanks to Reever for taking care of the reviews and previews, and sorry to be so late with the standings. I'm in Italy, and the time difference means that last Tuesday's game doesn't start here until tonight.

ResultOttawa by 22Calgary by 3Edmonton by 1B.C. by 26
Margin of Error15 to 292 to 41 to 118 to 34

Three players nail the Calgary spread. One is JPR, who moves into a tie for second, and another is jags, who extends his lead to seven points.

SpoFiteMTL @ OTTSCGY @ HAMSEDM @ WPGSSSK @ BCSPointsTotal Points
jagsnumberoneOttawa Calgary3 B.C. 559
argoalOttawa Edmonton B.C. 352
JPROttawa Calgary3 Edmonton B.C. 652
tahoemjOttawa Edmonton B.C. 347
rcadeOttawa Calgary4Edmonton B.C. 545
bender Calgary Edmonton 244
cixelsydOttawa Calgary4Edmonton 444
ReeverOttawa Calgary3 Edmonton 544
tommytrump Calgary Edmonton B.C. 340
ic23bOttawa B.C. 239
rumple Edmonton B.C. 237
goddamOttawa15 236
jjzucalOttawa Edmonton B.C. 333
DrJohnEvansOttawa Edmonton B.C. 332
owlhouse Calgary Edmonton B.C. 331
Ying Yang MafiaOttawa Edmonton B.C. 329

Good luck!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 03:19 PM on October 09

CFL Pick 'Em, Week 16

Tuesday games? WTF?

Hamilton by 14
Calgary by 6
Winnipeg by 12
Toronto by 8

posted by DrJohnEvans at 03:49 AM on October 07

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Fifteen

Ottawa by 10
Hamilton by 1
Edmonton by 8
B.C. by 14

posted by DrJohnEvans at 10:24 AM on September 30

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Fifteen

Winnipeg makes it close, but Calgary hangs on for the win - and a good thing too for them, since Edmonton won too. Toronto gets it done in Ottawa, while Montreal stumbles in Saskatchewan, as the Riders nab their second win of the season.

ResultCalgary by 2Edmonton by 6Toronto by 9Saskatchewan by 12
Margin of Error1 to 34 to 86 to 128 to 16

The contenders at the top remain in lockstep, but a four-point week for owlhouse means we have a new Costanza leader. Costanza follower? We need to clarify the verbiage on this.

SpoFiteCGY @ WPGSBC @ EDMSTOR @ OTTSMTL @ SSKSPointsTotal Points
jagsnumberoneCalgary Edmonton 12354
argoalCalgary Edmonton Toronto 349
JPRCalgary3Edmonton4 446
tahoemjCalgary Edmonton Toronto8 444
benderCalgary Edmonton6 Saskatchewan 542
cixelsydCalgary Edmonton 240
rcadeCalgary Edmonton 240
ReeverCalgary Edmonton7 339
ic23bCalgary Edmonton 237
tommytrumpCalgary Edmonton Toronto 337
rumple Edmonton5 Saskatchewan11435
goddamCalgary Edmonton8 334
jjzucalCalgary Edmonton 12330
DrJohnEvans Edmonton 129
owlhouseCalgary Edmonton Toronto7 428
Ying Yang Mafia 6 126

This week features battles of the best and battles of the basements, all with alliterative implications for pre-playoff pushes.


Montreal @ Ottawa (Thursday, October 1)
Who wants it more? Ottawa needs a win to move back into home-playoff-game territory, while Montreal needs a win to hang onto a crossover spot. Not exactly a battle of dynasties, but still decent drama for the bottom of the East.

Calgary @ Hamilton (Friday, October 2)
Speaking of dynasties, here's your marquee match of the week: the two division leaders duke it out. Calgary's got the better record, but statisically Hamilton's got better numbers on both sides of the ball - and has been solid at home. Total coin toss for me here.

Edmonton @ Winnipeg (Saturday, October 3)
Poor Edmonton: they've reeled off three wins in a row but still can't seem to catch Calgary. They'll just have to keep winning. To thicken the plot, they'll be facing off against their ex-QB, Matt Nichols, who I'm sure would love to gain some ground at the expense of his old team.

Saskatchewan @ B.C. (Saturday, October 3)
All you daredevils who picked Saskatchewan to win last week, well done! Who wants to make it two in a row?

Good luck!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 05:13 AM on September 30

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Fourteen

(who are these Winnioeg guys anyhow?)

Pretty sure that's my first typo in eleven years. Feel free to confirm.

Ottawa by 4 <-- Canadian cold lead pipe lock

Turns out, Canadian lead pipes don't freeze until October 1st.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 05:30 PM on September 28

Toronto Blue Jays Clinch Playoff Spot, But Nobody Notices

Yes, please keep quiet about the clinching. It's a very low-key thing. Nobody wants to jinx anything. Particularly the players.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 04:21 PM on September 28

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Fourteen

Edmonton by 21
Ottawa by 7
Montreal by 10

posted by DrJohnEvans at 03:05 PM on September 26

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Fourteen

In Calgary, the Stamps ride to a comfortable victory over the visiting Lions, while Edmonton shocks the Ti-Cat faithful in Hamilton. Ottawa hits a last-second field goal to beat the Riders in Regina, while Montreal digs deep and beats the new-look Bombers.

ResultCalgary by 12Edmonton by 7Ottawa by 3Montreal by 21
Margin of Error8 to 165 to 92 to 415 to 27

Another week, another extra point for argoal as he moves to within five points of jags. But as YYM pointed out, the real race here is for the Costanza.

SpoFiteBC @ CGYSEDM @ HAMSOTT @ SSKSWPG @ MTLSPointsTotal Points
jagsnumberoneCalgary Ottawa Montreal 351
argoalCalgary8 Ottawa Montreal 446
JPRCalgary 7Ottawa3 Montreal 642
tahoemjCalgary16 Ottawa Montreal 440
cixelsydCalgary10 Ottawa 338
rcadeCalgary9 7Ottawa3 Montreal 738
bender Edmonton5 237
ReeverCalgary Montreal 236
ic23bCalgary14 Ottawa Montreal 435
tommytrumpCalgary Ottawa Montreal 334
goddam Edmonton 131
rumpleCalgary Montreal 231
DrJohnEvans Ottawa 128
jjzucalCalgary 3Montreal 327
Ying Yang Mafia Ottawa Montreal 225
owlhouse Edmonton Ottawa 224

Calgary and Edmonton are duking it out in the West, while the entire Eastern division is still in play for the first-round bye.


Calgary @ Winnioeg (Friday, September 25)
Winnipeg looked like they might be on a roll there, but got shocked in Montreal last week. Will they be the appetizer to Calgary's playoff buffet? (Note to self: delete this metaphor before posting.)

B.C. @ Edmonton (Saturday, September 26)
Both of these teams have their eye on the prize: Edmonton is trying to catch Calgary for the division lead, while B.C. is just trying to grab sole possession of the third playoff spot. But fortune favours the streaky, and the Esks have won two straight, while the Lions have lost two.

Toronto @ Ottawa (Saturday, September 26)
Ummmm hey guys does your standings page say that Ottawa's in second place? Yeah, mine too. Must be a bug. I'll report it to the webmaster. (Also, Toronto's lost three in a row? Yikes. Any recent Ricky Ray sightings?)

Montreal @ Saskatchewan (Sunday, September 27)
Two last place teams duke it out. But hey, if the season ended today, we'd see a rare crossover from East to West. Montreal's still got a heck of a lot for which to play.

Good luck!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 08:46 AM on September 23

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Thirteen

B.C. by 7
Hamilton by 21
Ottawa by 7
Winnipeg by 14

posted by DrJohnEvans at 08:30 AM on September 16

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Thirteen

Home-and-home results: Hamilton takes advantage of Toronto's miscues to sweep, Winnipeg stages the comeback to split, and Edmonton rides Mike Reilly's arm to a split. And hey! Ottawa makes a healthy statement in Vancouver.

ResultHamilton by 8Winnipeg by 15Edmonton by 11Ottawa by 13
Margin of Error6 to 1011 to 208 to 149 to 17

Folks, do we have ourselves a race here? argoal nails the Hamilton win for a five-point week, shaving jags' lead down to six.

SpoFiteHAM @ TORSSSK @ WPGSCGY @ EDMSOTT @ BCSPointsTotal Points
jagsnumberoneHamilton Winnipeg Edmonton 348
argoalHamilton8 Edmonton Ottawa 542
tahoemjHamilton 136
JPRHamilton10Winnipeg Edmonton 436
bender Winnipeg14Edmonton 335
cixelsydHamilton Edmonton Ottawa 335
ReeverHamilton Winnipeg Ottawa 334
ic23bHamilton 131
rcadeHamilton Ottawa10331
tommytrump Winnipeg Edmonton Ottawa15431
goddamHamilton Ottawa9330
rumple Edmonton Ottawa11329
DrJohnEvansHamilton Winnipeg 227
jjzucal Winnipeg12Edmonton9 424
Ying Yang Mafia Winnipeg 123
owlhouse Winnipeg15Edmonton 422

Eight weeks to go and the playoff jostling begins in earnest. Only candidates with a postsecondary degree in jostling will be accepted.


B.C. @ Calgary (Friday, September 18)
Here are two teams looking in their rear-view mirror: Calgary's stumbled and their division lead is down to two points, while B.C.'s tied with surging Edmonton for the final playoff spot in the division. Who's more desperate?

Edmonton @ Hamilton (Saturday, September 19)
Mike Reilly's back and Edmonton's got their eye on the prize. But a strong offense will only get you halfway there against Hamilton.

Ottawa @ Saskatchewan (Saturday, September 19)
The Who'd-a-Thunk-It Bowl: Ottawa on a two-win streak to jump into second place, Saskatchewan with one win on the season. What's your pick: momentum or legacy?

Winnipeg @ Montreal (Sunday, September 20)
And here are the two teams trying to get back in the race. Winnipeg's riding a new QB while Montreal's still trying to figure it out. Tough to pick against the hot hand in this one.

Good luck!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 10:11 AM on September 15

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Twelve

Hamilton by 21
Winnipeg by 3
Calgary by 18
BC by 12

posted by DrJohnEvans at 05:32 PM on September 11

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Twelve

Montreal stumbles and falls at home as the Lions come away with the win. Toronto falls down early and can't muster a comeback in Hamilton. In a tight defensive battle, Calgary holds Edmonton to just seven points. And in their tenth game of the season, Saskatchewan finally WINS.

ResultB.C. by 9Saskatchewan by 18Hamilton by 30Calgary by 9
Margin of Error6 to 1213 to 2321 to 396 to 12

argoal continues to chip away at jags' lead, now down to a mere eight points and there are nine weeks left in the season. I'm biting my nails, folks!

SpoFiteBC @ MTLSWPG @ SSKSTOR @ HAMSEDM @ CGYSPointsTotal Points
jagsnumberone Hamilton Calgary 245
argoal Saskatchewan Hamilton Calgary 337
tahoemj Saskatchewan Hamilton Calgary9 535
benderB.C.8Saskatchewan 332
cixelsyd Hamilton Calgary10332
JPR Hamilton Calgary 232
ReeverB.C.7Saskatchewan Hamilton Calgary8631
ic23b 030
rcade Calgary8228
goddam Hamilton Calgary 227
tommytrump Calgary 127
rumple Calgary 126
DrJohnEvans Saskatchewan Hamilton21Calgary 425
Ying Yang Mafia Saskatchewan Hamilton Calgary 322
jjzucal Hamilton 120
owlhouseB.C.7 218
Howard_T 013

It's the traditional week-after-Labour-Day-home-and-home-grudge-rematch, in which most parts of Canada experience a severe hyphen shortage.


Hamilton @ Toronto (Friday, September 11)
Toronto got flat-out spanked last week, and has dropped two in a row to fall out of first place. They're in tough again this week, but with Ricky Ray rumours swirling around the practice field, who knows what will happen?

Saskatchewan @ Winnipeg (Saturday, September 12)
Look who's streaking now: Saskatchewan, frehs off their first win, is only four points behind the Bombers. Winnipeg's lost four in a row will Matt Nichols be the answer?

Calgary @ Edmonton (Saturday, September 12)
Speaking of four-point gaps, Calgary has won five in a row to grab a strong first-place lead. That can get upgraded to "commanding" with another win over the Eskimoes. But is that Mike Reilly I see, shaking off the injury rust?

Ottawa @ B.C. (Sunday, September 13)
Hold up. It's after Labour Day, and Ottawa has a winning record? Who's writing this script?

Good luck!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 04:34 PM on September 09

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Eleven

Canoe teams, owlhouse.

Montreal by 7
Saskatchewan by 10
Hamilton by 21
Calgary by 30

posted by DrJohnEvans at 09:33 PM on September 02

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Eleven

Montreal hangs on to stun the Hamilton faithful as the Ti-Cats' winning streak comes to a close. Toronto can't quite get it going in Edmonton, while Winnipeg just can't get anything going at home. And in Ottawa, the Roughriders' hard-luck season continues, and it wasn't even close.

ResultMontreal by 3Edmonton by 23Calgary by 28Ottawa by 22
Margin of Error2 to 416 to 3020 to 3615 to 29

A rare goose egg for jags as argoal closes to 9 points out does that count as drama?

jagsnumberone 043
argoalMontreal Edmonton Calgary 334
JPR Ottawa 130
tahoemj Ottawa 130
ic23b Edmonton Calgary Ottawa 330
benderMontreal Edmonton 229
cixelsyd Edmonton Ottawa 229
rcade Edmonton Calgary Ottawa 326
tommytrumpMontreal Calgary Ottawa 326
goddam Calgary 125
Reever Calgary 125
rumple Edmonton Ottawa17325
DrJohnEvans Calgary 121
jjzucal Edmonton 119
Ying Yang Mafia Ottawa20219
owlhouseMontreal Edmonton 216
Howard_T 013

The Labour Day Classics line up nicely this year between division contenders. Also, Saskatchewan plays this week, much to the chagrin of Saskatchewanians.


BC @ Montreal (Thursday, September 3)
The Fair-to-Middling Bowl: Montreal is in last place, but that's only four points away from first in the East. Meanwhile, B.C. is just trying to hang on to a playoff spot.

Winnipeg @ Saskatchewan (Sunday, September 6)
Times are tough in Winnipeg: they've lost three in a row and are a long way down in the division standings. But they've added to their QB depth by picking up Matt Nichols, and hey! They play Saskatchewan this week.

Toronto @ Hamilton (Monday, September 7)
This Labour Day Classic has some teeth to it: the winner gets first place in the division. Hamilton's been the better team by point differential, but Toronto's got... well... um, Ricky Ray might be close to returning? That's something!

Edmonton @ Calgary (Monday, September 7)
The other rivalry game is nearly as close: an Edmonton win will move them into a first-place tie with Calgary. But who the heck will they start at quarterback?

Good luck!

posted by DrJohnEvans at 03:36 PM on September 02

CFL Pick 'Em, Week Ten

Hamilton by 21
Toronto by 8
Calgary by 11
Saskatchewan by 3

posted by DrJohnEvans at 04:22 PM on August 27