FanDuel - WFBC

January 30, 2006

The Essence of Offense: Assuming eBay doesn't kill it again, you could purchase the liquified remnants of Kobe Bryant's 81-point performance. Bid high. [via]

posted by yerfatma to basketball at 11:43 AM - 15 comments

Claiming basement waste water is the essence of NBA points? I suppose he deserves some credit for originality, but that's one helluva disconnect.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 11:55 AM on January 30

Bidding surpassed $2,000 before eBay played party pooper. $2,000? Are you kidding me?

posted by tron7 at 12:15 PM on January 30

eBay: Modern day proof of the saying "A fool and his money are soon parted." (also, there are people who set up fake accounts to bid on silly items to drive up the price)

posted by grum@work at 12:20 PM on January 30

Just to let you know, basements are not usualy in the homes of southern California. VIOLA, EARTHQUAKE COUNTRY.

posted by westcoast at 12:23 PM on January 30

VIOLA, EARTHQUAKE COUNTRY I have no idea who Viola is, but this is my early favorite for tagline of 2006.

posted by yerfatma at 12:27 PM on January 30

I drank about 40 points of beer last night.

posted by Bill Lumbergh at 12:49 PM on January 30

It is frightning that people would actually be stupid enough to believe (let alone bid) on somethin like that.

posted by jtrluva at 01:04 PM on January 30

I would have bid $1 million dollars (getting me to pay up would have been another matter altogether).

posted by dyams at 01:05 PM on January 30

Not "who", yerfatma, but "where".

posted by redsnare at 01:55 PM on January 30

A fool and his money.......

posted by mjkredliner at 02:31 PM on January 30

"The actual points scored in all of the NBA games played through the entire season build up in a hole in my basement. They flow in through tubes in liquid form. And to be honest, it's a pain in the ass pumping that hole out every day. So when I heard Kobe Bryant scored 81 points in one game, I was kinda pissed. I never liked Kobe Bryant, but now I had to pump his 81 points out of my basement." What??? That guy doesn't have bats in his belfry, he's got morbidly obese vampires! If in fact he's just a joker, smoker, and midnight toker and doesn't have a loofah where his brain should be, he probably came up with the weird legend after seeing Prince of Darkness, that ridiculous John Carpenter movie that suggested Satan is really green slime kept safe from the world by a large glass container.

posted by L.N. Smithee at 06:41 PM on January 30

The story is pretty funny, especially the text in the relist where the guy comes clean. Those photos, though, are pretty disturbing -- kinda "Blair Witch" except, you know, scary. "Viola, Earthquake Country" was actually the original title of Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" before The Globe -- 16th Century England's answer to a modern Hollywood film studio -- made him change it to something "less terrifying. It's a comedy, for heaven's sake." I think it was Shakespeare who originally penned "a fool and his money..." yet the utility of that expression has been expanded and perfected right here on SportsFilter.

posted by BullpenPro at 07:14 PM on January 30

"Viola, Earthquake Country" was actually the original title of Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" before The Globe -- 16th Century England's answer to a modern Hollywood film studio -- made him change it to something "less terrifying. It's a comedy, for heaven's sake." There is a similar story about another Shakespeare work. Originally, Ol' Will was going to name it Quick, Julius, Grab That Wench Before She Escapes! when the suggestion was made to shorten it to Julius Caesar. Thank you. I'm here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitresses -- I'm taking one out after the show and we're going dutch.

posted by L.N. Smithee at 11:19 AM on January 31

your a funny guy smithee.

posted by trrron at 11:24 AM on January 31

Yeesh. I hope the seven o'clock show is better than the 11:19. I'm getting out of here before someone makes a "Much Ado About Nothing" crack.

posted by BullpenPro at 02:26 PM on January 31

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