SportsFilter: Sports Community Weblog

Monday, March 17, 2008

Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden Every material on earth is, at the initial level, constructed from b-balls. Carbon is b-balls. The blood flowing through our b-ball veins is made of b-balls. Every star in our cosmos is b-ball in origin. Understand this, and you may begin to understand Barkley, Shut Up And Jam: Gaiden. Once you've digested that, download the game. [via]

Comments

Not sure what this has to do with Charles Barkley with no quotes from him. Maybe I'm missing the whole thing, but I can say I have met him, and he is one of the nicest guys you would ever meet. He spoke, signed and was as gracious as any speaker I have heard. He was speaking to kids in SF (This was about 5 years ago). The only question he said was out bounds was "How much did he weigh?" I hope he does run in Alabama and will be a voice for kids, he means it, really.

Twelve years prior to the game, Charles Barkley, in an attempt to impress his son, performs a Chaos Dunk -- and inadvertently kills almost everyone present. As a result, basketball was made illegal and nearly all great players were killed in "The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041" (a.k.a "B-Ballnacht") . . . In 2053, another Chaos Dunk rocks Manhattan, killing fifteen million, and the blame falls on Charles -- who is believed to be the only human capable of performing the Chaos Dunk.[1] With the help of the Ultimate Hellbane, Charles escapes his pursuers: the B-Ball Removal Department. Charles follows him through the B-Ball Catacombs to the tomb of Lebron James, discovering that the Ultimate Hellbane is actually Balthios - the Octoroon great grandson of Lebron James. James contacts Charles from the B-ball dimension, offering him a warning which tells him to "seek the Cyberdwarf." It's pretty simple, really.

Vinceborg would be really funny, except cyborgs can't writhe in pain, can they?

They are part biological and should still have pain nerves, so I don't see why not.

And they could be programmed to fake it, too. Like those soccerbots FIFA was working on.

You mean Ronaldo.

Was it Keats who said that a thing of beauty is a joy forever?

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