04/26/24
March 17, 2008
Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden:
Every material on earth is, at the initial level, constructed from b-balls. Carbon is b-balls. The blood flowing through our b-ball veins is made of b-balls. Every star in our cosmos is b-ball in origin. Understand this, and you may begin to understand Barkley, Shut Up And Jam: Gaiden. Once you've digested that, download the game. [via]
posted by yerfatma to basketball at 06:51 AM - 7 comments
Twelve years prior to the game, Charles Barkley, in an attempt to impress his son, performs a Chaos Dunk -- and inadvertently kills almost everyone present. As a result, basketball was made illegal and nearly all great players were killed in "The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041" (a.k.a "B-Ballnacht") . . . In 2053, another Chaos Dunk rocks Manhattan, killing fifteen million, and the blame falls on Charles -- who is believed to be the only human capable of performing the Chaos Dunk.[1] With the help of the Ultimate Hellbane, Charles escapes his pursuers: the B-Ball Removal Department. Charles follows him through the B-Ball Catacombs to the tomb of Lebron James, discovering that the Ultimate Hellbane is actually Balthios - the Octoroon great grandson of Lebron James. James contacts Charles from the B-ball dimension, offering him a warning which tells him to "seek the Cyberdwarf." It's pretty simple, really.
posted by yerfatma at 10:51 AM on March 17, 2008
Vinceborg would be really funny, except cyborgs can't writhe in pain, can they?
posted by smithers at 12:31 PM on March 17, 2008
They are part biological and should still have pain nerves, so I don't see why not.
posted by apoch at 02:55 PM on March 17, 2008
And they could be programmed to fake it, too. Like those soccerbots FIFA was working on.
posted by yerfatma at 03:20 PM on March 17, 2008
You mean Ronaldo.
posted by Drood at 09:55 PM on March 17, 2008
Was it Keats who said that a thing of beauty is a joy forever?
posted by rocketman at 04:35 PM on March 18, 2008
Not sure what this has to do with Charles Barkley with no quotes from him. Maybe I'm missing the whole thing, but I can say I have met him, and he is one of the nicest guys you would ever meet. He spoke, signed and was as gracious as any speaker I have heard. He was speaking to kids in SF (This was about 5 years ago). The only question he said was out bounds was "How much did he weigh?" I hope he does run in Alabama and will be a voice for kids, he means it, really.