The Hoser's NFL Picks, Postseason Week One: NFL picks that fully expect a Boise State University jersey from some ardent admirer.
posted by justgary to football at 06:16 PM - 32 comments
I see two problems with your picks. You're forgetting that Dallas has to go to Seattle. If TO, the Mood Ring Princess, is too depressed to catch balls in Dallas, what will two days of Seattle winter weather do to him? Hard to help the team when you're in the fetal position sobbing. And you really need to think about the question you posed. "Eli can't totally suck all the time, can he?" Well...yes. Can. Has. Does. Will. Plus you are counting far too much on the character of Tiki Barber. "Stalag" Coughlin has yet to met the NFL player whose spirit he couldn't break. Why do you think Tiki's hanging it up? Coughlin's not going to let a horse that fine get out of his stable without one last shot at making him hate life.
posted by gradioc at 07:04 PM on January 03
justgary; Give up prognosticating. Just not your strong area. You are ok for a week, but can barely keep your head above water for a season. One piece of free advice, try flipping a coin. Same result, much less brain stress. But having written the above, reading your predictions was fun. Many more days of posting to you.
posted by Cave_Man at 07:18 PM on January 03
justgary; Give up prognosticating Cave Man, I can see where it can be confusing, but I didn't write that article. Users can submit a column to sportsfilter, and if it meets qualifications an admin publishes it. If you look at the top of the column you'll see that the author is wfrazerjr.
posted by justgary at 07:56 PM on January 03
He's just a caveman. Your filter frightens and confuses him. Sometimes your html code makes him want to step away from his MacBook Pro with Intel Core 2 Duo and run off into the hills, or something. When he moves the scrollbar up and down, he wonders: "Am I moving the words on the screen, or do little demons push them on tiny wheels?" His primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing he does know -- there is no way in hell the Giants are winning this weekend.
posted by BullpenPro at 08:29 PM on January 03
Fraze -- I think at least one game will be a double-digit blow out. It seems one in the opening weekend always is. The biggest point spread you've got is a one-TD victory for NE.
posted by holden at 09:14 PM on January 03
I think the cheifs are gonna rape the colt but thats just me i mean if the Texans can take them anyone can.
posted by chad at 10:04 PM on January 03
You fools can talk all the trash you want on hoser's picks. But look at his season ATS...it's pretty damn good compared to most "experts".
posted by ggermanctl at 10:11 PM on January 03
You fools can talk all the trash you want on hoser's picks. But look at his season ATS...it's pretty damn good compared to most "experts". There is only one stat that strikes me as mattering. That stat is -$2,750, after going +$1,080 for the week. But the column is fun to read. EDIT: My gut says KC and the 3 home teams.
posted by Aardhart at 10:33 PM on January 03
Indy definitely is and should be the favorite, but anyone remember 1995. The situation was reversed but Indy somehow defeated mighty Kansas City. I believe this time KC will defeat mighty Indy! Look for Larry to get at least 160 yards and Green to hit Tony G and Eddie K many times. It will be a high scoring affair with KC winning it in the 4th quarter.
posted by sports1 at 11:06 PM on January 03
I think the chiefs have a real shot . . . i mean, how well have the Colts been in postseason . . . oh wait, the chiefs have been worse. oh well.
posted by brainofdtrain at 11:12 PM on January 03
Colts at home. Nuff said, except for the Houston Texan debacle, the Colts only lose to teams with good defenses. (Dallas's D was much better 6 weeks ago) Especally teams with weak secondaries, once again, excluding the Houston Texan debacle, the Colts light it up. Think of how Manning & Co. shredded Cinci's weak secondary when they needed a win, and they will do much of the same come Saturday. Colts 31 - Chefs 26
posted by dezznutz at 12:19 AM on January 04
forget all that stuff about no wagering money according to The Hoser's picks. The Hoser is dead on about the Giants. I'm placing $1,000 (my salary for 2 weeks, btw) on the Giants to cover those 6.5 points and $200 to win outright. Giants have been bitten hard by the injury bug (Shockey, Toomer, Strahan) but Tiki is bringing it all together and carrying this team on his shoulders. I smell a cinderella story...
posted by antwan at 05:21 AM on January 04
How many camping trips you think she has taken???????????
posted by goodknight at 05:31 AM on January 04
wfrazerjr I gotta say that I agree with most of the picks but are you sure you don't want to reconsider the lock of the week. I'm just saying Eli has been killing my fantasy team since thanksgiving. And as always love the article.
posted by kyrilmitch_76 at 06:05 AM on January 04
I'm disappointed, no Matt Millen Jokes.
posted by apoch at 06:45 AM on January 04
Antwan , i'll cover that bet. No way the Giants beat the Eagles this week.
posted by ghostrider1026 at 07:40 AM on January 04
your picks suck. the cowboys will go down faster than my prom date.
posted by gatemando at 10:29 AM on January 04
It pains me that my NFL picks seem to garner responses from some of the most uneducated, illiterate people on Earth. Wait, what -- that's my target audience? Oh, carry on then.
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:21 AM on January 04
It pains me that my NFL picks seem to garner responses from some of the most uneducated, illiterate people on Earth. Fraze, I think the rest of us just like to sit back and watch the car wreck. Good as always.
posted by willthrill72 at 01:59 PM on January 04
BPP - wicked. Fraze - don't listen to the haters. You're still an attractive man.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 02:04 PM on January 04
Weedy wrote; BPP - wicked. Fraze - don't listen to the haters. You're still an attractive man. Cave Guy asks: Huh? Against what standard? Butt*** ugly? :-) I am surely an ignorant, smelly, dirt grubbing SOB, but I know a bad record when I see one. BTW, most women tell me that I am good looking when I take a bath, that is the only time they get close.
posted by Cave_Man at 04:04 PM on January 04
I'm disappointed, no Matt Millen Jokes. I feel the same way. He should have thrown one in when he picked the Dallas game.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 04:57 PM on January 04
Colts 31 - Chefs 26 Great Googilly Moogilly. By the way, is Cave-Man a regular Cave_Man, or a Frozen Cave_Man?
posted by tommytrump at 05:07 PM on January 04
I am surely an ignorant, smelly, dirt grubbing SOB, but I know a bad record when I see one. I don't know about the first part of your assessment, CM, but I agree with the second. However, very few prognosticators pick every single game, and for those who do (and make their picks public and get paid fulltime to do it), I stack up pretty well. Toronto Star -- The Linebacker: 6-10 ATS in Week 17, season 110-130-6 ATS Randall The Handle -- Toronto Sun and Behind The Lines weekly radio show: 38-38 picking and choosing his games! I can't find his total for the season, but he and Rob Bromley were running well below .500 at midseason. Vinnie Iyer -- The Sporting News:139-117 SU, 107-149 ATS Jeff Zillgitt -- USA Today: 156-100 SU; 115-136-5 ATS I'd say 129-123-3 ATS and 156-99 SU looks good against those "pros." The main thing, however, is that these picks are supposed to made in fun. I take them semi-seriously, but like I say, if anyone else does, it's just a reflection of their mental state, and it ain't a pretty one.
posted by wfrazerjr at 06:06 PM on January 04
Wfraz: Randle has got hot recently, and his record stands at 32-27-4, those picks are at sportswagers.ca On the other hand, his analysis is not NEARLY as clever or funny as yours. I look forward to reading your picks every week and finding out what's new with Matt Millen. Keep 'em coming and keep that snow in Barrie!
posted by tommytrump at 08:05 PM on January 04
Colts 31 - Chefs 26 Great Googilly Moogilly. Pickup of the week. Nice job, Tommy.
posted by BullpenPro at 12:39 AM on January 05
I was 148-108 on the season at Yahoo Pro Pick'em. Since I'm in the upper 90% I'm thinking someone should pay me for my predictions. Anyone hiring?
posted by ChiefsSuperFan at 10:56 AM on January 05
Chiefs, was that against the spread? What's your Yahoo ID?
posted by wfrazerjr at 12:00 PM on January 05
"Against the spread"--what does that mean? I live a sheltered life and don't gamble or play the odds. Here's the link to my pro pick'em. http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/pickem/31311/7 I'm ChiefsFanChicago.
posted by ChiefsSuperFan at 01:01 PM on January 05
CSF, you were picking straight up, which means you are picking only the winner of the game. "Against the spread" means you are not picking the winner of the game, but betting against the point spread set by the Vegas oddsmakers. Example: Last week Detroit played Dallas. The line on the game had the Cowboys favoured by 12.5 points, meaning they would have to beat the Lions by 13 or more points to cover. Just about everyone in the world picked the Cowboys to win that game straight up, including you and I. Of course, they didn't, losing to Detroit 39-31. However, I picked the Lions to cover the spread, which I thought was too large. I was right. Your 148-108 straight up is pretty good. I went 156-100 SU, as did Jeff Zillgitt of USA Today. Hope that helps.
posted by wfrazerjr at 01:10 PM on January 05
posted by wfrazerjr at 09:23 AM on January 06
Week One Postseason Results: 2-2 ATS 2-2 SU 1-0 LOTW The Colts' game was a total loss (I'm sure somewhere out there, Nick Bakay is replaying Lawrence Tynes hitting the goddamned upright from about 3 yards and muttering, "Schtoink!" to himself), but we were so close on both Dallas and New York. Sigh. The Hoser is dead on about the Giants. I'm placing $1,000 (my salary for 2 weeks, btw) on the Giants to cover those 6.5 points and $200 to win outright. Enjoy that extra $800 in your pocket, Antwan. I didn't bet as big, but we're going out to lunch on our winnings this afternoon.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:16 AM on January 08
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