Breaking down the sports cliches.: A bit of humour for your Friday afternoon reading. Example: When they say: "He's a scrappy ballplayer" what they mean is: "He's a white kid that the fans like for some inexplicable reason."
posted by grum@work to baseball at 11:32 AM - 19 comments
Great post, grum - thanks! I can't decide which one is more accurate and comical at the same time - both of them had me laughing into a jug and putting the cork back on it so my co-workers couldn't hear me (like old Tom&Jerry cartoons): “His bat keeps him in the lineup” what they mean is: “When a fly ball is hit to him with men on base, count how many times the pitcher uses the ‘F’ word.” “He's got great raw stuff” what they mean is: “He can't hit the ground if he dropped his cap, but boy those three digits on the speed gun are fun to look at.”
posted by littleLebowski at 12:03 PM on April 21
I have always been suspicious of those "flu-like symptoms." I'm a bit surprised whenever David Wells doesn't get a late scratch for those. Good stuff, grum.
posted by BullpenPro at 12:16 PM on April 21
Real funny, much better that costner's advice on the bus....great website as well, thanks
posted by sauceysays at 12:26 PM on April 21
I had to laugh at the Tim McCarver one...what a hoot...
posted by chemwizBsquared at 12:30 PM on April 21
McCarver... MCCARVER!!! No baseball humour column is complete without a shot at Dr. Dumbshit. Thanks, grum.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 12:49 PM on April 21
posted by chrisly13 at 12:53 PM on April 21
Absolutely one of the more humorous things I've read in awhile. "A great student of the game" - "He was a C-student in school who was lucky he could throw"
posted by timdawg at 01:14 PM on April 21
Had to add one of mine
When they say: “Welcome to FOX’s coverage of the World Series” what they mean is: “Unless Tim McCarver gets laryngitis, your choices are the mute button or jamming an ice pick into your ear drum.” McCarver must have something on Rupert Murdoch because there is no excuse for keeping him on the air.
posted by TOASTY POSTY at 01:41 PM on April 21
both of them had me laughing into a jug and putting the cork back on it so my co-workers couldn't hear me (like old Tom&Jerry cartoons) I'm glad someone else still thinks of that. Everytime I stub my toe when we have company over I see that dog running over the hill with the XXX jug to swear.
posted by yerfatma at 01:53 PM on April 21
so good.. well done g@w. one of my pet peeves is someone responding to every statement in an interview with "no question about it," before proceeding with their response. this drives me NUTS. if you're not sure what you want to say, take a second, then speak as opposed to sounding like the teddy ruxpin i befouled with a pantera tape in the 80's.
posted by ninjavshippo at 02:36 PM on April 21
When they say: “There’s nobody warming up in the bullpen” what they mean is: “That’s why you don’t diss your manager in the press, he’ll take revenge on your ERA.” This one cracked me up, thanks Grum!
posted by jojomfd1 at 03:47 PM on April 21
They should have something on the athlete who constantly repeats in an interview the moronic phrase ''ya no wha ime sayin?'' which means I know that I'm unable to express myself intelligently so give me some help.....PLEASE!!!
posted by joromu at 05:33 PM on April 21
Speaking of... the moronic phrase ''ya no wha ime sayin?'' Weird Al Yankovic (one of the greatest parodist of songs ever) had this fake interview with Eminem. Eminem kept repeating over and over again "ya know what I'm saying?" to ever question posed to him. HILARIOUS. Here's the link to it: http://youtube.com/watch?v=0r8SQzc2AAg
posted by sangu at 09:44 PM on April 21
This link was good
posted by vito90 at 02:44 AM on April 22
"I would like to thank the lord Jesus Christ our saviour..." and anything Joe Morgan says is way dumber than anything McCarver says(though he is a moron too)...Morgan, "Ive always said that ...yadda yadda" Good link and ninja, still got that bear? Its worth a whole hill of beans.
posted by GoBirds at 12:42 PM on April 22
I can't remember them all but crash davis had the best quotes in Bull Durham
posted by luther70 at 05:34 PM on April 22
If Morgan and McCarver ever become a "team," I'm giving up baseball on the off chance I'll accidently hear them.
posted by ?! at 07:08 PM on April 22
luther70: Here you go... 1) We gotta play 'em one day at a time. 2) I'm just happy to be here. Hope I can help the ballclub. 3) I just want to give it my best shot, and the good Lord willing, things will work out.
posted by ?! at 07:12 PM on April 22
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