FanDuel - WFBC

October 22, 2008

Swedish hockey fans delay match with dildo downpour: "We'd also heard mention of it, but we decided that it would only be worse if we went out and told the fans they were absolutely not allowed to throw dildos on the ice," said AIK club head Mats Hedenstrm to the newspaper.

posted by Hugh Janus to hockey at 04:25 PM - 31 comments

Dildo Downpour sounds like a wicked band name.

posted by dfleming at 04:39 PM on October 22

Well, you could have seen it coming. (heh) The crowd had been buzzing all game. (heh,heh)

Terrapin, little help, what was the word that describes the link between the FPP and the poster's name? I think we have a winner.

posted by BoKnows at 05:29 PM on October 22

Eponysterical (thread in which terrapin used that term is here)

posted by holden at 06:10 PM on October 22

Detroit fans have a long way to go to beat the Swedes or are those eight-legged dildos they throw?

posted by Shotput at 06:47 PM on October 22

Reading the headline, I thought, news of the weird. Then I saw the picture and thought of all those raw octopi in Detroit, right? Then I read the article and thought of the Cameron Crazies showering Maryland's Herman Veal with condoms and panties back in the eighties after Veal was accused of sexual misconduct.

Then I got to thinking about how all the stadium workers that night had their pick of sex toys to bring home to the boudoir, and how that probably saved them some blushes at the porny store. I bet quite a few went home with dildos who might otherwise have never tried one.

I thought about watery Swedish coffee by the dozen and about those Swedish great-aunts, all tight-lipped and oozing reserve, and suddenly I was singing I Remember Mama and thinking about dildos and sports and really, in this state, I could be forgiven just about anything.

In conclusion, exuberant dildo-tossing should be welcomed by the NHL and encouraged by every member team.

posted by Hugh Janus at 06:52 PM on October 22

The crowd had wondered why the zamboni driver wasn't driving straight all night.

Anyway, why was the banner written in English at a game in Sweden?

posted by dviking at 06:56 PM on October 22

Pardon my blunder -- I Remember Mama is about Norwegians, not Swedes. Too bad there's no musical of Giants in the Earth. They share a dedication to serving weak coffee, though.

posted by Hugh Janus at 07:01 PM on October 22

"Anyway, why was the banner written in English at a game in Sweden?"

Because he said "bend over, bitch" in the tape.

Err.. I'm told.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:04 PM on October 22

Mr Bismarck, me thinks you have more to add...

posted by Shotput at 07:08 PM on October 22

Now this, this right here, is the Greatest Story Ever Told.

posted by NoMich at 07:45 PM on October 22

so, you've seen the tape?

we'd be liking the link...don't disappoint.

posted by dviking at 08:22 PM on October 22

I fully expected to see Corey Pecker's name mentioned somewhere in the article.

posted by tommytrump at 08:49 PM on October 22

*My apologies, Cory, not Corey.

posted by tommytrump at 08:53 PM on October 22

Folks in this little town had no comment.

posted by wfrazerjr at 09:33 PM on October 22

I'm sorry, boss, I swear I was just reading hockey news and not looking at p0rn!

Not the video that dviking is looking for,but fast forward to the 5:00 mark.

posted by MrFrisby at 10:52 PM on October 22

I have waited for this article. Sportsfilter has needed this.

It is a good day.

posted by THX-1138 at 10:55 PM on October 22

I still want to know what the banner was in English. The guy is a native Swede...I mean does he really use English when he's making his porn tapes?

posted by dviking at 12:22 AM on October 23

Thanks, holden. It came to me tonight during the third period of our beer league. Not often you see some overweight hack shouting eponysterical on the bench.

At least not here in the US, maybe in Sweden. Who knows what happens there.

posted by BoKnows at 01:55 AM on October 23

"I still want to know what the banner was in English. The guy is a native Swede...I mean does he really use English when he's making his porn tapes?"

Yes, yes he does. If you're absolutely determined to see it then remember that people who link to the tapes in which he speaks English... probably don't speak English.

You can search for "Janne Banan" or "Janne Houkko med en vit dildo", but bear in mind that there are no girls involved in his movie, just Janne, his cell phone video camera and his latex friend.

Knock yourself out, Viking.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:10 AM on October 23

You can search for "Janne Banan" or "Janne Houkko med en vit dildo", but bear in mind that there are no girls involved in his movie, just Janne, his cell phone video camera and his latex friend.

I'd still rather watch that than anything Eddie Murphy's made in the last 15 years.

posted by wfrazerjr at 09:35 AM on October 23

It's a good thing I'm retiring next week, otherwise I would have been fired. I'm still ROFLMAO over this. The article is a hoot, but the comments are even better.

Then I got to thinking about how all the stadium workers that night had their pick of sex toys to bring home to the boudoir...

I can hear the dialog now:

Rink Employee: "Hey, honey, look what I picked up from the rink today."

Wife: "You picked up what? Where in the hell did you get that thing? The Rink? Is that the name of that bordello where you and your buddies hang out? I don't need that thing when I have Bjorn next door. I might video the next time he comes over and send it to the internet myself. You can take a look at it and maybe pick up some ideas."

The tradition at the University of New Hampshire is to throw a fish onto the ice to celebrate UNH's first goal at each home game. Let's all hope that none of the other hockey schools in the US read this post. We could have a new and very interesting tradition.

posted by Howard_T at 11:59 AM on October 23

Mr. Bismarck...why would I search for Janne Banan when the player's name is Jan Huokko? The sites for Janne Banan have a lot of comments to the fact that the video is not the hockey player.

BTW, whomever is in the video is not speaking English...but the video is quite distrubing to say the least. I was very disppointed as the story talks of a tape showing a "sexually charged video with Jan and his girlfriend".

posted by dviking at 12:08 PM on October 23

"Mr. Bismarck...why would I search for Janne Banan when the player's name is Jan Huokko?"

Because his name is Janne and Banan is Swedish for Banana.

Obviously.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:34 PM on October 23

Boknows: I believe there is technically a difference between a dildo and a vibrator. Dildo is the term for non-motorised fake manflesh I think.

I want to see this happen at a Formula One race. Pelt Lewis Hamilton with them. Seems apt given he's a giant cock.

posted by Drood at 02:39 PM on October 23

"We'd also heard mention of it, but we decided that it would only be worse if we went out and told the fans they were absolutely not allowed to throw dildos on the ice," said AIK club head Mats Hedenstrm to the newspaper.

Best quote I've ever read in a sports story.

posted by holden at 03:02 PM on October 23

Awesome! Just Awesome. Thanks for posting.

posted by adammcd at 03:46 PM on October 23

Dildo is the term for non-motorised fake manflesh I think.

Or a vibrator that's out of batteries.

Or, the reporter just couldn't resist finally getting to use "dildo downpour" for a headline. "Vibrator monsoon" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

posted by BoKnows at 10:16 PM on October 23

I must say, the amount of guys commenting on this is alarming.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 09:22 PM on October 24

I must say, the amount of guys commenting on this is alarming

Especially considering that they seem to have an absolute knowledge of dildos.

posted by BornIcon at 11:01 AM on October 27

Like they say, dildos aren't just for breakfast anymore.

posted by Hugh Janus at 02:17 PM on October 27

Only interesting posting in the last three months. Freakin' love everyone's sense of humor, especially the Swedes in general! I knew there was a reason I am so proud of my partially Nordic heritage. If you can't laugh here, logoff, whine on a conservative Republican website for hours, and please don't come back. If you are willing to provide your female partner with alternative enjoyment on occasion, it is your duty as a man to know what is what with dildos. Nothing gay about being a servicable lover to any woman with toys, especially if she is into it. Too funny!

posted by knowsalittle at 09:52 AM on October 31

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