Judge Hits Andy Reid Out of Bounds

I thought the judge was really harsh. What are the Reids supposed to do with their grown sons? Strip search them every time they come into the house to make sure they don't have anything on them? Search their rooms regularly? Throw them out on the streets? They have put them in rehab, but it hasn't worked. The Reids were dealing with a difficult issue, and to blame them for the presence of drugs and weapons in their house seems counter-productive.

posted by bperk at 11:22 AM - reply - flag:

I agree with the judge, the parents were enabling their GROWN sons by continuing to support them financially well into their 20's. Their comes a time when a parent has to lay down the law and say "It's our house (and reputation), live by our rules or you are on your own".

posted by urall cloolis at 11:44 AM - reply - flag:

Ya' know, I lined up 89 average sized pills that came out of a vitamin bottle to see just how much that would be. I would never be confused with a saint or anything, but there is simply NO WAY that I could be my own mule. I think that would have to be one of those alarms that you have to listen to. "If you are shoving a large quantity of your own drugs up your ass to pass the time in your jail cell while you are awaiting your court date, it is time to get off the junk." At the risk of being called a child worshiper, I think Mr. and Mrs. Reid should have taken a more hands-on approach to the upbringing of their kids. Maybe what they say about NFL coaches is true. Too much time watching film and not enough time being dad.

posted by THX-1138 at 12:03 PM - reply - flag:

What are the Reids supposed to do with their grown sons ... throw them out on the streets? *points at nose*

posted by wfrazerjr at 01:44 PM - reply - flag:

I've sort of had some experience with this (jacked up kid of a very close family member). When I blasted the man for what he was allowing his kid to do and get away with while living in his house, I was told that I won't know until I have kids myself. Well......low and behold, I have kids and still feel the same way about it. The Reid boys are grown men and need to be shown the door at this point. There is the possibillity that Reid feels somewhat responsible and guilty for the way the boys have turned out. I wish the best for them all.

posted by kcfan4life at 01:45 PM - reply - flag:

What are the Reids supposed to do with their grown sons? Strip search them every time they come into the house to make sure they don't have anything on them? Search their rooms regularly? Throw them out on the streets? Yes!! All of the above in the order listed!! blame them for the presence of drugs and weapons in their house seems counter-productive. I have children and if they brought drugs and weapons into my house then I would expect to be blamed for it since it is my house.

posted by Familyman at 02:21 PM - reply - flag:

We barely survived potty-training with my little one, so I'm not going to judge the Reids who are struggling with something much more difficult than that. Everyone else can feel free to know that if they were dealing with this situation, they would do exactly the right thing.

posted by bperk at 02:40 PM - reply - flag:

Raising children is difficult in the best of circumstances and especially with a high profile job like Reid's. His hours are atrocious and demanding. Can't fault the guy for what happen, I've seen kids in the best of families turn out bad and/or into drugs. Got to do the best you can with whatever tools you have available and hope for the best. Don't know if judge was right or not. I'm not going to condon or praise with to little background, however I wish the Reid's the best and my prayers are with them.

posted by brickman at 03:34 PM - reply - flag:

*points at nose* fraze, it always seems like your answer to misbehavior, no matter how big or small, is black and white. These are his children. It's tough to know how you'd handle it until you go through it and, given these are two grown adults, it seems an awful lot like showboating on the part of the judge. I realize that's hard to believe. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Pennsylvania elects judges.

posted by yerfatma at 03:58 PM - reply - flag:

Let's not confuse what's happening here with poor/absentee parenting. The kids are 21+ years old. The parenting train has left the station. At this point Reid's responsibility is all about the safety and the environment of his younger children who still live at home. Using Reid's high-profile job and atrocious hours as any kind of excuse or mitigating factor is BS. Plenty of people work long hours, multiple jobs, etc. At least he has a choice, but apparently his ambition is a higher priority for him. These two men need to understand that their rich daddy's not going to be there to catch them when they fall.

posted by ssflanders at 04:01 PM - reply - flag:

"This is a family in crisis" No, this is a family in the NFL... Seriusly, my older kids are in their 30's, and if they needed help even to the point of moving back home, they would get it. Hopefully they find out the cause of the addiction and get it fixed.

posted by irunfromclones at 04:08 PM - reply - flag:

With two teenagers living at home, I take it as my responsibility to educate them on the dangers of drugs/alcohol/guns/etc., and to provide a safe haven for them to grow up in. At some point a child has to take responsibility for their actions. It sounds like the Reid boys have done that. I hope this is enough of a wake up call for the boys. A steep price to pay, but in the long run it will be worth it.

posted by dviking at 04:28 PM - reply - flag:

At some point a child has to take responsibility for their actions. It sounds like the Reid boys have done that. Nothing they have done except tell the judge what he wants to hear supports that. They both got locked up. One was on probation, pulled a gun on a motorist while hopped up on heroin and driving. The other was also on drugs (and a drug dealer) and hit a car. Hell- one of them even smuggled 81 pills into jail. That is not taking responsibility for their actions. When facing severe jail time you will tell a judge anything that you hope will reduce your sentence (See Vick, Mike). I am sure it was a lawyer who suggested the words they use. Can't fault the guy for what happen, I've seen kids in the best of families turn out bad and/or into drugs. A police search found illegal drugs all over the house and the boys were overmedicated their entire lives. This doesn't sound like a kid stashing some pot in his underwear drawer.

posted by urall cloolis at 05:06 PM - reply - flag:

I hate to say it, but they have been dealing with this for some time. It is not a "new" thing. The judge was just in stating: "O'Neill noted that searches of the Reid home found illegal and prescription drugs throughout the house. He said both boys had been overmedicated throughout much of their lives" ALSO - "His addiction persists, according to authorities, who found 89 prescription drug pills in Reid's jail cell Thursday morning. They believe he smuggled them in his rectum when he was jailed earlier this week."> So, if the family has other kids in the home and there are illegal and prescription drugs found throughout the house / been overmedicated throughout much of their lives, then who is to blame? I would hate to agree with the judge, but you (as a parent) are legally responsible up to a point. When they turn 18, then you show them the door - called tough love. I have kids and I can't say what others would do, just what I believe in. Would I help my sons? Hell yeah. But, when there is drug dealing and guns, do you allow them to stay there and have drugs all over the house. It wasn't like they found a simple bottle of Lortabs. They found all over the house and the kids had been overmedicated for most of their lives. This if from court records. Plus the part where he has all the pills in his ass to get by. Sicko. That is insane. When do parents accept that they are somewhat responsible and accountable for some of what happens in their own home. He needs to step away from the film room and tend to the ones that are in crisis at home. To hell with football - it is only a GAME.

posted by Mickster at 05:20 PM - reply - flag:

fraze, it always seems like your answer to misbehavior, no matter how big or small, is black and white. You're right. I believe it makes it much easier to be either a parent or a child if the rules and the consequences are clearly defined. In the case of two of my children selling drugs and bringing it into my house, I know exactly how I'd handle it (especially if I had checked them into rehab in the past) -- hit the bricks, jackasses. Am I supposed to feel bad about that?

posted by wfrazerjr at 05:22 PM - reply - flag:

Yerfatma, given the age of these guys and that there are younger ones still at home, what would you do as the dad if not get them out of the house? Love cannot always be the carrot, can it? Some comments mention the long hours of being a coach. That was a decision Reid, and maybe his wife, made but it cannot have been all that beneficial, other than having good cash in the bank, for his children. How much can he have been around while they were young and could most learn life lessons? Same goes for most pro coaches and managers, though football seems to be more wake up to sleep than the others. Makes me wonder if any studies have been done on how kids of coaches turn out, especially the families of coaches who change teams frequently.

posted by billsaysthis at 06:50 PM - reply - flag:

There is a difference between being supportive and enabling.

posted by Monica Poland at 07:19 PM - reply - flag:

I recently decided I was done here, deciding that this site had outlived it's usefulness. In fact I sent an email to a former regular praising him for his exit, stating that mine wold be more like sneaking out the back door. But then I read a couple threads similar to this one, and I just got irritated. When did sportsfilter become the "Extra" of sports news? If it's sports news and it bleeds it'll be tops on sportsfilter. One final post, I supppose, before I sneak out said back door. Andy Reid is dealing with two of his children who are addicts. If anyone has dealt with that, let them step forward. Otherwise shut the fuck up. I quit a tobacco addiction and it was brutal. I can only imagine what this must be like. Especially when you have your own brother enabling you ... or when you have to deal with losing both your sons, depending on what side of the fence your on. I'll just hope I never have to deal with what Reid is dealing with. And I guess I'll just envy those of you who have all the answers. I am from the Philadelphia area and, he is the coach of the hometown team. But you have to guess how I feel about him, and there's a 50-50 chance you're wrong. Addiction is a nasty beast. If you're so sure you can cure it, patent your idea. You'll be a billionaire. As for this site, take it back or you risk losing it. Yes, I'm talking to you. And you know who "you" are.

posted by SummersEve at 02:32 AM - reply - flag:

This is a classic case of parents being in denile. Unfortunately it happens often in rich homes, not all, but alot. Ask the hilton's and spears, and lohan families. The are the celebrity role models for addicts. Not to pick on women, but what was the wife doing in the early years, being the care taker for her kids while her husband was coaching, teaching these boys? I hear people say kids do what they see not what they are told.

posted by Awwgood at 03:37 AM - reply - flag:

I agree with the douche (except for the whole part about SpoFi becoming a terrorist enclave, or something else ominous and terrifying). Addiction is a merciless bitch. Yes, it's likely a product of bad choices, but that doesn't equate to writing off your kids.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 08:41 AM - reply - flag:

Douche²

posted by yerfatma at 09:36 AM - reply - flag:

Addiction is a nasty beast. If you're so sure you can cure it, patent your idea. You'll be a billionaire. Guaranteed to work: Stop smoking. (I did. Took about a week. No withdrawls.) Lay off the weed. (Told myself that I wasn't being very productive and that I needed to answer to more than just my own selfish behavior.) Quit doing coke. (Actually easier than all the rest. Be broke, hungry, and newly unemployed and you wake up quickly.) I know that it's not as easy for some, but, really, the answer is you have to actually WANT to quit. The smoking was the most recent, being a little over a year and 1/2 since my last cigarette. Willpower to change is a marvelous ability that I think most people come with from the factory. The hard part is accessing the program from your hard drive. I'll get off my pedestal, as I certainly don't know everything and can't speak to what others have to go through. But I'm nothing special so I figure if I can do it, why can't others? As for what's wrong with SpoFi you say? I hadn't noticed that it had slipped into the toilet. I thought we were having fun. Dammit, I seem to miss everything. Anyways, I'll take that billion dollar check, now.

posted by THX-1138 at 08:00 PM - reply - flag:

Friday, November 02, 2007

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