04/20/24
July 25, 2003
The legend of DoggieBiscuit: After his career as a stud horse was over in Japan, 1986 Kentucky Derby winner Ferdinand appears to have ended up as pet food.
Don't they all end up that way, eventually? I need to be put out to stud. Apparently good horses fuck like 50-60 times a week. I'm only at about half that :)
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 11:06 AM on July 25, 2003
Apparently good horses fuck like 50-60 times a week. I hate to tell you this, Weedy, but stallions rarely get any. Instead, they get what is known as a phantom mare, with a real mare in estrus (heat) just hanging out nearby. Call it a hand job, a blow-up doll, whatever - I call it a rip-off.
posted by dusted at 12:32 PM on July 25, 2003
From the sad story of a former champion to horse hand-jobs in 3 comments. That's got to be a record. Of sorts.
posted by Samsonov14 at 12:40 PM on July 25, 2003
Dusted - well now I have to adjust my Buddhist wish list for my next incarnation.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 01:08 PM on July 25, 2003
"Note! Supervisory assistance from the local Terrier population is not recommended!" Golly. That's one kinky horse.
posted by garfield at 01:45 PM on July 25, 2003
I was gonna click dusted's link until I read garfield's quote. Just not gonna go there!
posted by billsaysthis at 01:55 PM on July 25, 2003
billysaysthis - click on the link. It'll make you appreciate your job a little more - provided it's not you in the pictures.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 02:23 PM on July 25, 2003
I want nothing to do with any job entitled "Artificial Vagina Handler."
posted by dusted at 03:18 PM on July 25, 2003
Legend of Dogbiscuit is an all-time great title of a post. Classic.
posted by worldcup2002 at 12:41 AM on July 26, 2003
Bastards. What a sad story. When the horse is no longer of use to you, it's gone. Though I blame the Americans who sold Ferdinand to the Japanese farm. They should have inquired as to what Ferdinand's fate would be if the breeding program wasn't successful. But I'm sure that all the dead presidents the Japanese farm threw at the American owner was just enough for him to keep his mouth shut and STFU. The Japanese farm didn't have any loyalty to the horse, he was nothing but an asset to capitalize on. I've never, ever been a horse racing fan other than a couple of trips to Longacre's track back in the day, but I'm reading Seabiscuit right now, and it's just an amazing, incredible story, and this makes me sad.