The Hoser's NFL picks -- Week Two: NFL picks that wonder how in the world people can say Britney Spears is fat. Courtesy of Sportsfilter's own wfrazerjr.
posted by justgary to football at 04:42 PM - 17 comments
"have to dismiss Chuck Berry as Director of Bathroom Security" Thankfully, PipeFitters537 has room for him. "I'm pissin' in your mouf girl, how's it taste?" It's observations like this that lift this column above all others.
posted by yerfatma at 05:21 PM on September 14
You can also feel free to change the Browns to the Bills in the first game, but I think it is somehow possibly for Cleveland to lose two games at the same time in two completely physically distinct locations.
posted by wfrazerjr at 05:37 PM on September 14
Actually, that's the plan in Cleveland; just go ahead and lose 2 per week and take Nov and Dec off. Might as well. It already looks like they're taking Sep and Oct off. And I have to say I love that Bellichek was caught blatently cheating at... Wait, I've just been handed a note. Excuse me, I meant to say, "Informed that his interpretation of the rules was incorrect." Yeah, right, just like the Bolivian army informed Butch and Sundance that bank robbery was frowned upon. Not that $500,000 is that big a deal to him. I mean, what's he spend money on anyway? Sure as hell not clothes.
posted by gradioc at 06:49 PM on September 14
Oh shit: an interpretation of language joke and a Belichick can't dress hisself gag, all coupled with a misspelling. Lookout Jackie Martling, there's a new king in town.
posted by yerfatma at 07:25 PM on September 14
Seriously, is Belichick really that hard to spell? It's not like his name has been on every sports site non-stop for a week or anything.
posted by dviking at 07:56 PM on September 14
Hey, you guys notice that this Banacek guy seems to wear torn up hoodies a lot? Crazy stuff, that.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 08:03 PM on September 14
Mea culpa, mea culpa, I actually thought I knew how to spell it and didn't look. But it's all moot now. I just found out it's not Belichick's fault anyway. He got Alberto Gonzales to interpret the NFL rulebook for him. (And, yes, you better beleive I looked up Gonzales.)
posted by gradioc at 09:24 PM on September 14
Calm down, Texans fans Ė it was freaking Kansas City. Iím sure England didnít get all cocky when they waxed Argentina in the Falklands. Panthers 24, Texans 17. You say that wfrazerjr, but have you ever seen a llama outfitted in full combat gear? What I really want to know is what are the odds that we ever see Belichick doing promos for TiVo "When I can't be there to tape it myself I use TiVo."
posted by kyrilmitch_76 at 06:08 AM on September 15
I just found out it's not Belichick's fault anyway. He got Alberto Gonzales to interpret the NFL rulebook for him. As yerfatma was saying...
posted by lil_brown_bat at 07:44 AM on September 15
Going into the Sunday night and Monday games: SU: 10-4 ATS: 8-6 Lock of the Week: 1-0 Trifecta: 0-1 (Cincy, bite my shiny metal ass) My possible future brother-in-law, however, hit two different four-team parlays. I'll be over here drinking and crying.
posted by wfrazerjr at 07:25 PM on September 16
Fraze, please, in the future, never pick the Panthers to win a game. Please!!
posted by NoMich at 08:11 PM on September 16
My possible future brother-in-law, however, hit two different four-team parlays. Shame on you, wagering your sister on football.
posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 11:12 PM on September 16
That Broncos-Raiders came was ridiculous. The NFL needs to change the rule so that the players on the field actually hear the whistle or it doesn't count as a timeout. The Broncos on the field thought they had lost the game, too. This happened last season as well, and it really needs to be fixed.
posted by bperk at 08:52 AM on September 17
Perhaps as a solution, if the coach gets the timeout that takes the FG off the board, the opposing PK gets to kick said coach in the nuts. It'd at least make them think twice.
posted by wfrazerjr at 02:40 PM on September 17
Final count for Week Two: SU: 11-5 ATS: 9-7 Lock of the Week: 1-0 Trifecta: 0-1 The Money Game: $+260 For the season: SU: 21-11 ATS: 15-16-1 Lock of the Week: 1-1 Trifecta: 0-2 The Money Game: $-200
posted by wfrazerjr at 07:23 AM on September 18
"When you're right 51% of the time . . . "
posted by yerfatma at 09:12 AM on September 18
" ... you still lose money to the syndicate."
posted by wfrazerjr at 09:33 AM on September 18
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