Recent Locker Room Comments by Samsonov14

Spofiswap 2 - Son of Spofiswap

I had eye surgery some time ago, and it's been a rough go at it. I now have 20/20 in my right eye and 20/-2.5 in my left. So I can read street signs and stuff if I close my left eye, but when I close my right eye I can see the horrible, inevitable future. The future is this: four more people will sign up for the Spofiswap. Do it, you four. P.S. - yerfatma, your next visit to the Cask and Flagon will be your last.

posted by Samsonov14 at 01:17 AM on December 14

Spofiswap 2 - Son of Spofiswap

Dammit.

Spofiswap 3 - This Time it's Personal.

posted by Samsonov14 at 06:51 PM on November 20

Presented without comment,

Something very important has been missed in the Flyers thread: Samsonov14 is back! How are you, mate? When SummersEve and Crafty got sick of Spofi, they vented their spleens in grouchy comments and left in a huff - which is okay if you like to do things in a half-assed, weenie sort of way. Me, when a website starts to get on my nerves, I just sack up and do what any other tough guy would do - silently walk away from the computer and JOIN THE GODDAMNED ARMY. Beat that with your whining on the internet. Anyway, now that I have regular access to the internet and some time to use it, I'm a regular visitor to Spofi again. It's still one of the best websites out there. We all knew that as Spofi got bigger the signal to noise ratio would get a little silly, and it has. Lots of new visitors act like jerks, older members drop out, and some of the new jerks in time become older members. I'm totally holding a baby lion up in the air right now. It's like it's always been, there's just more of it these days. We've been through this whole "so-and-so" leaving the site thing before, and while I think it's close to pointless, I do enjoy the discussion. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to DEFENDING YOUR FREEDOM.

posted by Samsonov14 at 01:21 AM on November 12

*Feature Request* - Blog recommendations.

Some dickbag who posts at spofi writes a very good Maple Leafs blog.

posted by Samsonov14 at 11:18 PM on September 15

Victory Declared in Wargames.Com UDRP Battle

Rcade, you should tell them that you'll give it to them if they give you a pope hat.

posted by Samsonov14 at 03:10 PM on February 07

The music is in the mail

JG, I'll totally go lip gloss shopping with you at the mall. I probably won't buy anything. You can try on different lipglosses, and I'll just sort of watch. You know, like I'll watch you as you slowly slide the gloss across your lips. Maybe you could try on a dark red, or maybe even a bubble-gum pink. I mean, whatever. Whatever you're into. Now that I think about it, maybe I will buy something. Like, for my girlfriend or something. She's an Autumn, like me. I'm not sure what goes with that. Probably a muted brown would perfectly highlight my full lips. Or whatever. I wouldn't actually buy lip gloss or anything. Excuse me, I have to go do something.

posted by Samsonov14 at 07:46 PM on January 18

The music is in the mail

Bill: Seriously?

posted by Samsonov14 at 05:50 PM on January 18

The music is in the mail

My music is on it's way. It would have been embarrassing if I had to have a guy punch me in my faces. Sammy's Idle Threat: The Merry Blues – Manu Chao The Narrator – The Apples in Stereo Tidal Wave – The Apples in Stereo Meija – Porno for Pyros Melting Pot – Booker T and the MGs Brakes on – Air Feet Asleep – Thao Nguyen Half-thought – Bedhead Ball and Chain – Janis Joplin My Friend in a Comfortable Chair – Cats on Fire We’ve got a File on You – Blur Song against Sex – Neutral Milk Hotel We will become Silhouettes – The Shins This Boy is Exhausted – The Wrens I just wanna get along – The Breeders Bandit Queen – The Decemberists Car – Built to Spill Country Yellow Teeth – Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Sister in Love – Envelopes How it Goes – Billy Talent

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:50 PM on January 18

Action dump ver 1

Dignified statues don't need to dunk.

posted by Samsonov14 at 02:11 PM on January 14

The music is in the mail

Sweet. Five whole days before I need to start worrying. Okay, my bad. I need to clear some things up. You have some time before face punching begins. Face punching begins on the 25th, and all CDs should be sent out by the 15th. Inscruting, on the other hand, may or may not have already begun.

posted by Samsonov14 at 06:14 PM on January 09

The music is in the mail

I'm pretty sure if you just put the recipient's name and CHINA on your mailing, it will get there. If I've learned anything from watching tons of movies from the 50's it's that the Chinese are inscrutable, so maybe they have an awesome postal service. For the record, I'm not sure I know what "inscrutable" means. Has anyone else sent out their CDs? You have six days left before face punches begin. Otherwise, I know a guy who will totally inscrute you.

posted by Samsonov14 at 03:49 PM on January 09

Sportsfilter CD swap

Sorry, guys. Lists will be sent out either Friday night or Saturday. My apologies. Both the send out deadline and face-punching date will be pushed back a few days. I'll send you all emails when we're ready to rock and/or roll. I miss being unemployed.

posted by Samsonov14 at 07:37 PM on December 28

Dear Santa: for Christmas, this sports fan would like...

1) A midget riding a tricycle through the middle of a major sports event. Maybe the midget is topless? 2) The Bruins to make the playoffs. 3) A Spofi meetup in New York. 4) An autographed Ray Bourque jersey. 5) A picture of me with a midget who also has an autographed Ray Bourque Jersey. Wait, the picture is of the three of us (me, Bourque, midget), with me standing next to Ray, who has the midget on his shoulders, and the midget is hoisting the Stanley cup. Ray is wearing a Bruins Jersey with my autograph on it.

posted by Samsonov14 at 07:01 PM on December 22

Happy Holidays!

This morning at 8:30am I spread some holiday cheer to my co-workers by farting in the revolving door. I’d do the same thing for all of you if you worked in my building, because I love you all. Happy holidays!

posted by Samsonov14 at 12:09 PM on December 22

Sportsfilter CD swap

Or maybe he did have long hair. And maybe we were taunting the landscapers. Whatever.

posted by Samsonov14 at 12:05 AM on December 22

Sportsfilter CD swap

I grew up in Housatonic, Massachusetts, and Arlo Guthrie owned or maybe lived in a property at the end of Van Deusenville road. It was a converted church just a half a mile from the railroad tracks. We would drive past his house on the way back home and if he was outside, we'd yell, "Go back to to Russia, longhair!" Arlo, because he was mowing the lawn or some such and maybe couldn't hear us, and didn't have long hair anyway, would always smile and wave, a little bit confused. Good guy, that Arlo.

posted by Samsonov14 at 11:58 PM on December 21

Sportsfilter CD swap

This promises to be pretty fun. Goddam and I have gathered 23 addresses so far, which is not even close to the 50 I promised to the marketing department at AOL, but whatever. Here's some interesting quotes from anonymous swappers so far: "I hope I get something good. This should be better than the "Share Your Speedo" program I belonged to last year." "Bette Midler rules." "I hope everyone loves "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)" as much as I do" "p.s. Avoid grouping me with yerfatma. I've heard all his crappy music already." Huh. This should be interesting. There's still time to sign up. Don't miss out on your chance to listen to whatever garbage your fellow Spofites listen to!

posted by Samsonov14 at 11:18 PM on December 20

Sportsfilter CD swap

Don't question it, FB. And the signup deadline is December 26th.

posted by Samsonov14 at 02:37 PM on December 17

Yet Another Link Dump:

NSFBF (Not Safe For Bruins Fans) That whole game was NSFBF. For the record, though, the Bruins behind Tim Thomas have had their fair share of amazing plays from the Defense/Goalie this year, too.

posted by Samsonov14 at 06:56 PM on December 08

The Hell with the Weblog Awards.

I'm voting for Sportsfilter as a write-in for the NHL All-Star game.

posted by Samsonov14 at 06:47 PM on December 08

Thank You Veterans

I got drunk with my dad last night. Turns out he spent a little over 9 months in military prison for going AWOL (two separate occasions). His mom turned him in. Solid.

posted by Samsonov14 at 08:26 PM on November 11

SportsFilter Now Has a Practice Squad

Rock. With all sincerity, I think this will make a big difference. Thanks, Pantheon.

posted by Samsonov14 at 05:04 PM on October 16

Is it to early to make Predictions for the upcoming 2006-07 NHL Season?

That Kesler offer is brilliant, and also a total dickhead thing to do at the same time. Nothing like fomenting a little animosity between teams that don't usually see each other to make things more interesting. This weekend we were talking about the early offer given to Deion Branch, and I told 86 and Garfield that this type of shit would never happen in the NHL. My bad.

posted by Samsonov14 at 11:35 PM on September 13

New link dump

Nice Post, sk8tr/Dan/Fris/whatsyerface. Thanks for pointing that out - I'll be reading the followups.

posted by Samsonov14 at 11:24 PM on September 13

Is it to early to make Predictions for the upcoming 2006-07 NHL Season?

Atlantic: Rangers - Shanahan is the puzzle piece behind the couch, that makes the sky complete. Fris, a Lemonheads reference in a hockey thread? Rock the fuck on! (Mostly quietly, until you get to Mrs. Robinson, which does actually kind of rock.) Balls, dude. It's a bit early to be making these predicitions. All I know is that the Northeast will be the most interesting division. You could make a case for any of them winning the division, but they all have scary question marks. 1) Will Buffalo be able to continue their surprisingly winning ways without McKee and Dumont? 2) Will Montreal's additions like Samsonov and you know what? Fuck those guys, I hate that team and I hope they lose all of their games. 3) In Toronto, can Raycroft bounce back? Can the new guys like Kubina and Gill make an impact? 4) Every year, we all think Ottawa is the team to beat. They seem to beat themselves, and will the loss of Chara make a difference? 5) Boston has two goaltenders that posted good numbers last year, but neither have ever made a real case for starting in the NHL. Ballsy, but scary if you're a Bruins fan. I can predict winners with a decent amount of confidence in all of the other divisions. I'll definitely do that, just before the season starts. But if you think you know what the standings in the Northeast will be like at the end of the year, you are either psychic or from the future.

posted by Samsonov14 at 02:02 AM on September 04

Firefox bug in preview

NoMich, does a refurbished cotton warehouse still smell like cotton? Because I think that might be nice.

posted by Samsonov14 at 11:18 AM on September 01

Today's posts are the cleanest I've ever seen.

Hyphpy Juice is for losers. Me and Jason Witten know where it's at.

posted by Samsonov14 at 01:14 PM on August 25

Link Dump time?

Second row, third column.

posted by Samsonov14 at 02:51 AM on August 18

Political Feuds of SpoFi

When I first found this site, I was immediately enamored with it. I ran a half-assed thing called "Intermittent NHL Beat Report", which was fun. It was basically a few of my real-life friends talking shit about the NHL. Eventually, some other NHL fans like mkn and Grum joined up, and I realized that this wasn't my own blog. So Sportsfilter went through its first transformation. It would have to survive without Samsonov14. Good luck, SpoFi. Oddly enough, Spofi came through without a scratch (probably, I don't look at anything that isn't hockey related, but the hockey stuff smelled okay). In Conclusion: We've been through this a hundred times. New members are mostly terrible but there are a few people that we would be sad to be without and Black Betty by Spiderbait is the Best Hockey Song Ever.

posted by Samsonov14 at 02:08 AM on August 09

There aren't limits...

I don't know. Mjk posted that at the tail end of a thread that was already littered with shit. That thread and the Faith Day Thread should get together and go bowling. Brevity should probably take a back seat to courtesy and clarity. At least mjk made a point of linking to sources that helped him to make a point. Probably. I don't know. I just sort of skim those really long posts.

posted by Samsonov14 at 08:55 PM on August 02

Are we due for another Link Dump?

New GM Garth Snow and some ladies, hanging out in the clubhouse.

posted by Samsonov14 at 09:27 PM on July 26

Are we due for another Link Dump?

You probably don't want to try "sex." "Tiger woods" is good, though.

posted by Samsonov14 at 11:24 AM on July 25

Lindros Over/Under:

Well, waffles are dangerously delicious.

posted by Samsonov14 at 10:29 AM on July 19

Lindros Over/Under:

65 games, 48 points.

posted by Samsonov14 at 07:20 PM on July 18

Troll Bait?

like the idea, and I think that smithers' suggestion is a good direction to investigate. To keep the moderation focus where it's needed, a user's posts are no longer moderated once he or she has successfully made a certain number. (smithers suggests 1, I personally would bump that up to 2 or 3.) This is a tremendous idea.

posted by Samsonov14 at 06:45 PM on July 17

Burnside's top 25 free agents

Weedy, you are incorrect about Chara, but dead-on about Savard. The Bruins have needed a #1 defenseman since Bourque left, and they finally found one. There's a difference between cost and value, and I believe that Chara's value for this team is incalclable. They've also needed a #2 center since forever. Savard will be much better than Zhamnov or Primeau, but I can't imagine he'll be worth the money the Bruins threw at him. Again, cost vs. value.

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:31 PM on July 16

Troll Bait?

Take it to metafilter. The front page post sucked, and this lockerroom reaction sucks too. I suck for responding to this. There are no winners here.

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:26 AM on July 16

SpoFi down?

So, uh, Sammy, you're a fan of the Habs now? NoMich, why kick a man when he's down? For why NoMich? For because, I suppose. You realized that this is my worst nightmare since I had that one where I was in a bakery that I'd never seen before and all of the bread was shaped like giant penises and I looked down and I had taken a number and the lady behind the counter asked me if I was there for the bread or if I was there to be a bread model and I got so confused and scared that I didn't know what to say and I just sat down on the floury bakery floor and cried and cried and cried. When I woke up, one of my roommates asked me if I wanted French Toast, and I just couldn't because of that awful, awful bakery in my head. Thanks for being a jerk about it. For the record, I'd rather be a model for cock-bread than have to watch Samsonov score on the Bruins. Samsonov will be good for 60 points this year, and I hope he does well. He always entertains. If there is any justice in this universe, you will have a dream where Eric Cole does something unmentionable to a member of your family.

posted by Samsonov14 at 10:36 PM on July 13

SpoFi down?

Thank God Spofi is back. Now we can all get back to complaining about how this place sucks these days.

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:03 PM on July 13

Burnside's top 25 free agents

Boston signed Savard and Chara. What the fuck? It's almost like Bruins management is respectable or somemthing.

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:38 PM on July 01

What happened to all the pre-2006 interviews?

I posted Spofi's 1000th post, and it was ugly.

posted by Samsonov14 at 08:20 PM on June 30

Front page problems?

Interviewer: How do you envision yourself here at (company name) in five years? Sam: Definitely still kicking ass and taking names, buddy. And probably not wearing underwear. So when do I start? So I'm pretty sure I got the job.

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:07 PM on June 30

Burnside's top 25 free agents

Holy shit. That's quite a deal for McCabe.

posted by Samsonov14 at 01:42 PM on June 30

Front page problems?

Well, I did get a haircut before my interview yesterday. And if I had clean underwear, I'd totally be wearing it.

posted by Samsonov14 at 01:29 PM on June 30

Front page problems?

Whatever, Mrs. Frisby. You're not my real mom.

posted by Samsonov14 at 12:50 PM on June 30

Linker Dumper

Number 1: 1 Number 2: 2

posted by Samsonov14 at 10:18 AM on June 17

Soccer for the non-trolls

Several (okay, usually 3 or more) of us hockey fans are at the campfire for each of the NHL playoff games. Come visit. It's far less pathetic than you imagine.

posted by Samsonov14 at 01:46 PM on June 08

soccer trolls

I don't want to have to 'just move on'. There are too many things in my life with a crappy signal-to-noise ratio; I don't want my entertainment to have crappy signal-to-noise too. Yeah, take it to Deadspin, buddy.

posted by Samsonov14 at 11:47 AM on June 07

most significant sporting figures of the 20th century

Although hockey isn't that popular, it would be silly to leave Bobby Orr off of this list. He redefined the role of the NHL defenseman. As far as significant goes, this picture is the second-best sports picture ever taken (second to this one).

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:52 PM on June 01

Movin' On Up

That's pretty interesting to know that rcade, kirkaracha and justgary have different jobs here. And also that they have full names.

posted by Samsonov14 at 05:55 PM on May 30

I want my MTV

tieguy: Pah! I'm booing you, buddy. Love it or leave it, pal. As far as the recent posts go, they can't all be home runs. I still like this place.

posted by Samsonov14 at 05:16 PM on May 26

User name change advice

Could get you laid at an elementary school playground or a furry convention, maybe.

posted by Samsonov14 at 06:51 PM on May 23

I'm stupid

posted by Samsonov14 at 12:21 PM on May 19

Ask SpoFi

Here's an article you might find interesting.

posted by Samsonov14 at 03:33 PM on May 17

New Yorkish Meetup (ish)

Qbert, tell Patrice to sign up and quit lurking already. You hear that, Patrice?

posted by Samsonov14 at 07:51 AM on May 16

New Yorkish Meetup (ish)

Thanks for the link, Q. I'd still like to get my hands on a real copy of the game, but that was pretty damn entertaining.

posted by Samsonov14 at 06:07 PM on May 15

New Yorkish Meetup (ish)

I'm definitely in.

posted by Samsonov14 at 12:20 AM on May 13

LINK DUMP!!!!!!

That's a pretty interesting article, 86. In the comments it seems there's some questions about it's veracity, though.

posted by Samsonov14 at 12:27 PM on May 12

LINK DUMP!!!!!!

I don't think this is funny.

posted by Samsonov14 at 03:25 PM on May 11