Recent Comments by BigCalm

EPL Fantasy Premier League

Hello, long time since I checked in. I'm not doing very well am I? Perhaps I'll change my team for next season eh? I'm still beating Starfucker even though I haven't looked at my team in months. Oh and squelchy's winning again?!? Well, blues fans need something to cheer them up at the moment i guess :-p

posted by BigCalm at 05:28 AM on March 16

The smallest trophy, the biggest prize

Glorious

posted by BigCalm at 03:16 AM on September 13

The Final Ashes test!

Looks like England are doing their best to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Hold on there!

posted by BigCalm at 06:35 AM on September 12

The Final Ashes test!

Mm, bad light, and the Aussies took it. Unusual decision that one, given that they need to win it. 112-0 isn't bad I suppose, but they're going to have to score lots of runs quickly tomorrow and put England back in.

posted by BigCalm at 09:42 AM on September 09

The Final Ashes test!

Yeah, but their run rate is very slow. Is it too early to start praying for rain?

posted by BigCalm at 08:52 AM on September 09

Northern Ireland beat England

One thing I can never understand is how if you lose one game everyone goes batty and starts calling for Sven's head It's just the English disease, we beat someone we'll be world champions next year, we lose to someone, we're the worst in the world and the manager should be sacked. It's just the way we are. But he should be sacked. 5 million quid for watching football every weekend, picking whoever The Sun (or Mr. Beckham) tells you to pick and then getting a mate (Steve McLaren) to do the team talk at half time. Er, can I have that job please? Good on the Irish, we deserved a thumping for that performance.

posted by BigCalm at 08:44 AM on September 08

God Cheated in the 1986 World Cup

Don't forget the second goal scored in that match. Now that surely was influenced by god.

posted by BigCalm at 09:05 AM on August 23

Baros to Villa for GBP6.5m.

I think he's not a bad buy for us. We shall just have to wait and see.

posted by BigCalm at 04:05 AM on August 23

Football fans are idiots

but he has - liverpool /runs off and hides

posted by BigCalm at 06:49 PM on August 19

Football fans are idiots

off topic, but it looks like motorsport is the most watched sport, football (with the feet guys, not the helmets) is the most played with table tennis (!) behind that.

posted by BigCalm at 09:30 AM on August 19

Football fans are idiots

was trying to find some numbers to dispute the fact the "Leave the #1 team sport in the world out of your mouths" statement (it's not even the #1 sport in the US, let alone the world where it's barely played), and I found, ladies and gentlemen, that we're linked off The wikipedia entry for sport. Go us!

posted by BigCalm at 09:28 AM on August 19

Football fans are idiots

Yes, good article, what fun is there in a three horse race if you're supporting horse number 14? The relegation dogfights are far more interesting than the top-spot nowadays. I'm with squealy on this, I go down to Solihull Borough more often than the Villa now, sure, they're crap (bottom out of 24 teams last season, hoping for any kind of improvement this season), but it's a fiver to get in AND there's a bacon-butty van at the side of the pitch.

posted by BigCalm at 07:43 AM on August 19

Australia hang on for the draw,

...So the fielders don't have positions ... on the contrary, they have quite a bewildering number of names for every possible fielding position on the cricket pitch examples: silly mid-off, long-off, square-leg, fine gully, point, and a whole host of others that confuse anyone who isn't versed in cricket-lore.

posted by BigCalm at 05:57 PM on August 16

England win by 2 runs!

that's it bill. normally when a test fails to finish in time, it's normally due to rain, or obstructive batting practises, or both.

posted by BigCalm at 06:50 PM on August 09

The Worst Team in Britain?

Beat me to it! (except I was going to post something snarky about Celtic at the same time, hehee). I read the article at the Guardian and thought this is good, and nearly double posted it here. I'm a bit of a Solihull Borough fan (as well as the Villa of course) and they managed to finish bottom last season. I can totally sympathise with East Stirlingshire's plight - Solihull get about the same number of fans as them. And they tend to be just as sarcastic. I've been to home games where the away support has outnumbered the home fans too.

posted by BigCalm at 03:21 AM on July 28

Lance Armstrong wins seventh straight Tour de France

I was pretty uninformed before the Tour, believing team Disco was weaker than previous years. They were pretty weak this year (at least compared with past years), but Lance was as strong as ever. There were several mountain stages where Lance was left for most of the stage without a domestique to power him up the mountains, but he still managed it. Guardian has a list of the next generation who may challenge, and an interview-like thing with Eddy Merckx talking about Armstrong. Squealy - it's on ITV2, and Eurosport. Just get yourself a digital-set top box for fifty quid next year.

posted by BigCalm at 08:34 AM on July 25

Lance Armstrong wins seventh straight Tour de France

In a way, I'm glad to see him go. I want to see a more open competition where there is no out-and-out favourite. Next year's tour will be great! I can't see Basso doing it - he seems at his physical peak now and I he's too slight to really challenge next year. Ullrich is getting a little old, and though he is one of the best atheletes on the tour, that extra 10kg of muscles really hurts his chances in the mountains. I think we could be looking at an outsider for next year - maybe Rasmussen, but he'll have to train harder, and get his time trialling a lot better. Maybe Vinokourov, he certainly has the aggression to win it, he just needs to improve his mountain climbing, maybe that promising Ukranian who had to pull out half way through (I forget his name, apologies). Perhaps even a complete outsider like Axel Merckx might come through and challenge.

posted by BigCalm at 06:24 AM on July 25

Inter Milan cancel England tour due to safety concerns

I imagine the original decision was something like this... Inter Milan chairman: "We agreed to play who??? I thought you said Newcastle and Liverpool, not Norwich and Leicester! Is there any way we can get out of it?"

posted by BigCalm at 03:09 AM on July 25

Lance Armstrong wins seventh straight Tour de France

Well, I doubted him, I admit it. Winning 6 I thought was impossible, winning 7 I thought was beyond human capabilites, but he's proved me wrong again. Considering the Tour de France is probably the most gruelling sporting event on the planet (random fact: each rider burns up to 9000 calories during a mountain stage), it's quite unbelievable that someone has won it 7 times. I'm amazed, and I'm sure it won't happen again in my lifetime. I've really enjoyed watching this tour, it's a shame they didn't go up Col du Tourmalet, but Ax de trois-domains was a great alternative. My hat is off to one of the greatest cyclists of all time, the only one I think could even stand next to him is Eddy Meckx. Can we stop the French hate-mongering here? The French don't hate Lance, why do you insist on hating the French?

posted by BigCalm at 03:06 AM on July 25

Diminuitive urn continuing to capture imagination

Could be worse, could be worse.

posted by BigCalm at 05:50 AM on July 22

Les domestiques

Armstrong has been magnificent during this tour. But I won't be sad to see him go, I think it'll be a lot more interesting when you have more of a competition - Ullrich v Basso for example.

posted by BigCalm at 04:40 AM on July 22

Diminuitive urn continuing to capture imagination

We're winning? What's going on? 97 for 5 at lunchtime? I'm taking cover, England beating Australia must be surely a sign of the apocalypse.

posted by BigCalm at 06:49 AM on July 21

USA better than England.

The alternative has England 4th and USA 12th, which is a bit more like it if you ask me. (Czechs are extremely good, and yes they deserve that placing in both systems).

posted by BigCalm at 01:42 PM on July 20

The complexities of Human Sport

Cricket is very simple really: You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.

posted by BigCalm at 01:36 PM on July 20

Kewell to miss EPL openers

7 million pounds for Rodney Trotter? Yeah, that Rafa Benitez, he's oh so sharp.

posted by BigCalm at 09:11 AM on July 20

sportsfilter

Yeah, it's so good it deserved two consecutive postings, LMAO.

posted by BigCalm at 09:09 AM on July 20

Diminuitive urn continuing to capture imagination

I thought the ashes of the stumps signified the death of English Cricket. Smirk. Oh well, even when the Aussies 'win' the ashes, they're still kept at Lords. I'm not much of a cricket fan, but this should be good to watch, mainly because it's going to be a pretty even contest this time, rather than the Aussies flattening us like they do normally.

posted by BigCalm at 09:05 AM on July 20

2005 Tour de France

Ah yes, if you missed this article when it was first posted, I can highly recommend it.

posted by BigCalm at 10:49 AM on July 05

Flawless Federer

IMHO Richard Kraijceck was the best ever tennis player I've ever seen on grass - Out of 8 wimbledons, Sampras won 7 - who won the other one in the middle of Sampras' streak? Richard Kraijcek, who flattened Sampras that year. However, Kraijcek was the Stan Collymore of Tennis - supremely talented, but could never get his head together, except for that one year when he was just outstanding.

posted by BigCalm at 10:31 AM on July 05

Gerrard to leave Liverpool (finally)?

Is it just me or do you think the agent is blowing hot air in order to earn himself a fee? I don't think the transfer will happen personally, it's not as if Liverpool have oodles of decent players to replace Stevie G with.

posted by BigCalm at 10:27 AM on July 05

Flawless Federer

He's just so much better than everyone else, that's the worrying thing. Good match, if a little one-sided!

posted by BigCalm at 05:43 AM on July 04

Like a goddess rising from the waves.

A great match - they were both hitting the ball incredibly hard.

posted by BigCalm at 05:30 AM on July 01

Ashes to Ashes

Hold on there, I'm not understanding you, 'England beat Australia'? But, but, that doesn't happen!?! Wow, I might watch the ashes this year. You mean we could be in with a chance? No way.

posted by BigCalm at 11:06 AM on June 14

Ice Cold in Wimbledon

A great article, cheers JJ. Looking forward to wimbledon!!!!

posted by BigCalm at 05:23 AM on June 10

Last one in: West Ham!

4 leagues, on top of each other Premiership: 3 relegated Championship: 2 auto-promoted, 1 playoffs, 4 relegated. League 1: 3 auto-promoted, 1 playoff, 4 relegated. League 2: 3 auto-promoted, 1 playoff, 2 relegated. Below: conference - supposedly 'amateur' league. Below this, have a look at The Pyramid. We've just gone through a painful renaming scheme, which has just confused everyone - when ever anyone says 'Division 1' you have to clarify whether they mean the top league, the second league, or the third league, because of pointless and confusing name changes over the last 15 years. It'd be simpler to just rename them after say, teletubbies than the system we've got at the moment. The rules on European qualification however, require degrees in advanced mathematics to understand however.

posted by BigCalm at 09:58 AM on June 01

Last one in: West Ham!

1. True, you don't hear them harping on about Sunderland being back, despite Sunderland having a bigger fan base and stadium than the Hammers, oh, and being a better side. But that's a problem with the (London) media, rather than the Hammer's themselves. 2. I totally agree with you. I was stunned when listening to 606 that West Ham fans wanted to sack the man that got them promoted. That's pure arrogance. But that still doesn't make me hate them. Milton Keynes Dons, now, there's a team that makes my blood boil. And Man United fans who couldn't tell you who was the manager before Ferguson, and ...hmm...think I'll stop here, before I offend everyone!

posted by BigCalm at 07:31 AM on June 01

Last one in: West Ham!

I'm just curious as to why squealy has so much animosity towards West Ham. Sure, they've got a bunch of hooligans (but, let's face it, there are much worse clubs for it). Maybe it's just the (glorious) claret and blue they play in. heh.

posted by BigCalm at 03:24 AM on June 01

LIVERPOOL vs A.C. MILAN!!

I think there's 99.5% chance that Liverpool won't be allowed to defend their 'title'. Liverpool will not be in next season's champions league. The two other cups you just mentioned are meaningless. On Preview: Bah, even though I hate Manchester Soccerballs Buccaneers, they deserved to win the FA Cup.

posted by BigCalm at 05:53 PM on May 25

LIVERPOOL vs A.C. MILAN!!

I doff my cap in the direction of Liverpool this evening, it gives the rest of us hope.

posted by BigCalm at 04:53 PM on May 25

The American Sports movie

posted by BigCalm at 09:29 AM on May 19

The American Sports movie

And now I realise it's a double post. Someone please post a dancing banana and delete the thread. Sheesh.

posted by BigCalm at 07:45 AM on May 19

Honest, officer, I thought this was the Brickyard!

He then failed a field sobriety test registering .22, nearly three times the legal limit for alcohol. If this had happened in the UK, he'd probably be jailed. Just saying.

posted by BigCalm at 06:45 AM on May 19

My Team's Redder Than Your Team

Manchester United, Arsenal, Liverpool.... Let me guess, the second best colour was bright blue.

posted by BigCalm at 02:57 AM on May 19

EPL Fantasy Football Winner - Squealy!

The Bluenose vice-like grip on this league shall come to an end sooner or later. But it won't be me that wins the league.

posted by BigCalm at 07:26 AM on May 17

EPL Fantasy Football Winner - Squealy!

I'll offer to buy the trophy, just give me an address to send it to. The only condition is that you have to buy the next one, or send it on!

posted by BigCalm at 03:07 AM on May 17

EPL Fantasy Football Winner - Squealy!

# Team Manager Gam Tot
1 Ardley Athletic Squealy Neily 45 2045
2 Sauril's Wideboys Mark D 40 1994
3 BillSaysThisSCORES!! Bill Lazar 59 1978
4 Deadly Calm Big Calm 38 1974
5 RED DRAGONS! worldcup 2002 46 1968
6 Crap City United g s p m 28 1960
7 the pistolwhippets Ufez Jones 40 1939
8 kwacky's kwitters mr kwacky 36 1909
9 Cutters Redux mbd1 mbd1 50 1873
10 Cream of Chicken Ian Townsend 45 1865
11 Salmacis FC Huw Morris 40 1850
12 40,000 Headmen Fat Buddha 38 1810
13 FC Murcielago skronk _ 24 1801
14 phatcat footie garfield on catnip 33 1797
15 ATL Untitled Tim Truxell 28 1768
16 Spacemen United Jason Wilder 42 1739
17 Bayern Mucus Danny the Taupe 37 1737
18 Arsenal's Back Four Pete W 18 1729
19 sporting lisbian john o'neill 26 1668
20 Blammos! Star Unsuitable 33 1656
21 Terrapin Utd R Scully 14 1554
22 born to lose J B 21 1540
23 Bosiak Bashers etrader 9 29 1530
24 Mossy Unathletic Me Mossy 17 1478
25 Slow And Foamy J Warwick 31 1474
26 Cool Springs United John Hill 50 1387
27 last again eckeric eckeric 6 1306
28 Napsacks lil nemo 19 1103

posted by BigCalm at 03:23 AM on May 16

EPL Fantasy League Week 36

I'm in Amsterdam again Wednesday - Friday. I'll post the table on friday evening if no-one steps up to the plate.

posted by BigCalm at 02:29 PM on May 10

EPL Fantasy League Week 36

My money's on squealy. What does the winner get as a prize?

posted by BigCalm at 05:11 PM on May 09

Without A Trace Star Anthony La Paglia

Excuse my ignorance - I always thought that football (sorry, soccer, whatever) was a minority game among the Aussies? I thought rugby, cricket and aussie rules held sway over there? Mmm, maybe it just seems like Leeds United signs all your best players.

posted by BigCalm at 05:08 PM on May 09

Round up the usual suspects!

I'm embarrased to say I've only read three books on the list (1,9,45). Great link, thanks FB.

posted by BigCalm at 05:04 PM on May 09

EPL Fantasy League Week 36

# Team Manager Gam Tot
1 Ardley Athletic Squealy Neily 53 1913
2 Sauril's Wideboys Mark D 68 1900
3 BillSaysThisSCORES!! Bill Lazar 61 1875
4 Crap City United g s p m 60 1867
5 RED DRAGONS! worldcup 2002 49 1853
6 Deadly Calm Big Calm 57 1852
7 the pistolwhippets Ufez Jones 62 1840
8 kwacky's kwitters mr kwacky 69 1813
9 Cutters Redux mbd1 mbd1 50 1770
10 Cream of Chicken Ian Townsend 61 1762
11 Salmacis FC Huw Morris 39 1752
12 40,000 Headmen Fat Buddha 71 1717
13 phatcat footie garfield on catnip 55 1696
14 ATL Untitled Tim Truxell 47 1689
15 FC Murcielago skronk _ 29 1687
16 Arsenal's Back Four Pete W 31 1673
17 Spacemen United Jason Wilder 41 1655
18 Bayern Mucus Danny the Taupe 61 1647
19 sporting lisbian john o'neill 19 1606
20 Blammos! Star Unsuitable 54 1572
21 Terrapin Utd R Scully 27 1520
22 born to lose J B 34 1487
23 Bosiak Bashers etrader 9 41 1471
24 Mossy Unathletic Me Mossy 45 1406
25 Slow And Foamy J Warwick 65 1379
26 Cool Springs United John Hill 23 1289
27 last again eckeric eckeric 24 1253
28 Napsacks lil nemo 7 1047

posted by BigCalm at 02:58 AM on May 05

Who's for the drop?

England currently get 4 spots for Champions league qualification but this does not change if an English team win the competition. If Liverpool win the Champions league, The English FA will then have to decide whether Liverpool or Everton get the place for the Champions League. Also, the last time there was a new pope, Liverpool won the European Cup (wasn't called the champions league then). more here. So, going purely on destiny (certainly not on form or ability), Liverpool are going to win the Champions League.

posted by BigCalm at 04:37 AM on April 28

EPL Fantasy League Week 34

# Team Manager Gam Tot
1 Ardley Athletic Squealy Neily 57 1860
2 Sauril's Wideboys Mark D 42 1836
3 BillSaysThisSCORES!! Bill Lazar 44 1818
4 Crap City United g s p m 49 1811
5 RED DRAGONS! worldcup 2002 65 1804
6 Deadly Calm Big Calm 51 1795
7 the pistolwhippets Ufez Jones 57 1778
8 kwacky's kwitters mr kwacky 52 1744
9 Cutters Redux mbd1 mbd1 57 1720
10 Salmacis FC Huw Morris 51 1713
11 Cream of Chicken Ian Townsend 58 1701
12 FC Murcielago skronk _ 66 1658
13 40,000 Headmen Fat Buddha 39 1646
14 phatcat footie garfield on catnip 57 1645
15 Arsenal's Back Four Pete W 33 1642
16 ATL Untitled Tim Truxell 51 1642
17 Spacemen United Jason Wilder 36 1614
18 sporting lisbian john o'neill 42 1587
19 Bayern Mucus Danny the Taupe 45 1586
20 Blammos! Star Unsuitable 50 1522
21 Terrapin Utd R Scully 32 1493
22 born to lose J B 41 1453
23 Bosiak Bashers etrader 9 32 1430
24 Mossy Unathletic Me Mossy 57 1361
25 Slow And Foamy J Warwick 35 1314
26 Cool Springs United John Hill 53 1266
27 last again eckeric eckeric 28 1229
28 Napsacks lil nemo 14 1040

posted by BigCalm at 04:14 AM on April 28

Who's for the drop?

Compare them to Aston Villa, who never look like challenging the big teams, yet at the same time they never look like getting relegated. They just stagnate in the middle of the table, playing for draws. Every. Single. Year. Darn, I so hate it when you're right. Arse.

posted by BigCalm at 09:45 AM on April 27

Who's for the drop?

If only the top of the table were as interesting. Frankly, I sometimes wish the Villa were a 1st division (sorry, 'Championship') club, at least it's interesting all the way through the season there. My take on it: It's way too close to call! I'd say the Baggies and Southampton look doomed, with either Norwich or Palace fighting for the survival spot, but really, I've got no idea. 2 weeks ago, I'd have probably said the opposite, with Norwich looking a dead cert to go down and the Baggies with the best chance of staying up. Compare them with teams like Blackburn, Newcastle, Aston Villa who are all hopeless mid-table wannabes that play ugly football. I think you missed the most obvious candidate - Bolton.

posted by BigCalm at 09:05 AM on April 27

EPL season almost over - three weeks early.

Makelele: He won't amaze you with his flair, or passing ability, or leadership. But, (I think I'm quoting Mark Lawrenson here, sorry) he's probably the most disciplined defensive midfielder in the world. Yes, he does the simple things so well, always covers, always in the right place at the right time. Even Mourinho wants to make him Chelsea's player of the season, despite Lampard and Terry grabbing the headlines. Look at Chelsea when he's not involved and they concede far more goals, and score less (e.g. Birmingham about 3 weeks ago). Oh and his record speaks for itself in his absence - what have Real Madrid won, despite their millions and galacticos, since he left?

posted by BigCalm at 09:38 AM on April 21

EPL season almost over - three weeks early.

The relegation dog-fight is hotting up nicely now, with Norwich, Palace, Southampton and the Baggies all within 2 points of each other, it's a real scrap down there to stay in the premiership. Congratulations to Chelsea, who've surely won the league now. Claude Makelele is a genius.

posted by BigCalm at 03:45 AM on April 21

EPL Fantasy League Week 34

# Team Manager Gam Tot
1 Ardley Athletic Squealy Neily 41 1807
2 Sauril's Wideboys Mark D 51 1802
3 BillSaysThisSCORES!! Bill Lazar 41 1774
4 Crap City United g s p m 46 1762
5 Deadly Calm Big Calm 59 1752
6 RED DRAGONS! worldcup 2002 46 1739
7 the pistolwhippets Ufez Jones 44 1721
8 kwacky's kwitters mr kwacky 59 1692
9 Cutters Redux mbd1 mbd1 36 1663
10 Salmacis FC Huw Morris 35 1662
11 Cream of Chicken Ian Townsend 45 1643
12 Arsenal's Back Four Pete W 34 1609
13 40,000 Headmen Fat Buddha 42 1607
14 phatcat footie garfield on catnip 48 1596
15 FC Murcielago skronk _ 50 1592
16 ATL Untitled Tim Truxell 27 1591
17 Spacemen United Jason Wilder 40 1578
18 sporting lisbian john o'neill 35 1545
19 Bayern Mucus Danny the Taupe 46 1541
20 Blammos! Star Unsuitable 32 1472
21 Terrapin Utd R Scully 23 1461
22 born to lose J B 35 1412
23 Bosiak Bashers etrader 9 46 1398
24 Mossy Unathletic Me Mossy 36 1304
25 Slow And Foamy J Warwick 35 1279
26 Cool Springs United John Hill 50 1213
27 last again eckeric eckeric 17 1201
28 Napsacks lil nemo 23 1026

posted by BigCalm at 03:23 AM on April 21

FA Cup

I'm so glad it's a Man U Arsenal final. But only because there's now an extra spot in the premiership for a UEFA cup place, not that my team are going to get it.

posted by BigCalm at 09:19 AM on April 19

Armstrong may Retire

I really can't see Armstrong winning again this year anyway. But then, I said that last year. Who says it's a niche sport? It's officially the largest spectator event in the world.

posted by BigCalm at 03:25 AM on April 19