August 10, 2006

"Damon has a reputation within baseball clubhouses as being a creepily ardent admirer of his own butt. : Finally, despite his remarkable ability to chase down fly balls in center field, he throws about as well as your 11-year-old niece." The Top Ten Sports Pretty Boys as ranked by Mo Arora of

posted by mr_crash_davis to culture at 02:07 PM - 37 comments

Re: Tom Brady, even in an article set up to slam guys for not being manly enough, the author can't find a flaw in the man I like to think of as The Final Product of Human Evolution.

posted by yerfatma at 02:28 PM on August 10

Tom Brady does have Tara Reid and Paris Hilton in his past. We still have some evoluting to do, apparently.

posted by chicobangs at 02:53 PM on August 10

Matt Leinert was had by Paris Hilton.

posted by jerseygirl at 02:57 PM on August 10

Tom Brady makes me think of the Matt Damon puppet in Team America: World Police. But if I could look like a guy on that list, it would be Nadal. On preview: Matt Leinert was had by Paris Hilton. And Nick Lachey.

posted by SummersEve at 02:59 PM on August 10

As I was reading the list, I knew that Beckham and A-Rod were gonna be 1-2. In the old days you could've put Christian Laetner on there, but the years have not been kind to his beatitude. No Tony Parker? No Rick Fox?

posted by vito90 at 03:05 PM on August 10

Ljungberg seems destined to be one of those athletes who takes home more "Hottest Athlete" awards than he does sporting accolades. I think two doubles, an undeafeated league season, and a couple of FA cups to boot adequately expose this assertion as sheer folly. He was the man of the match against Southhampton in the FA cup a few years ago after all.

posted by trox at 03:25 PM on August 10

One good game a few years ago? Oh, well that makes it all okay, then.

posted by chicobangs at 03:26 PM on August 10

Against Southhampton? Oh, well that makes it all okay, then.

posted by gspm at 03:56 PM on August 10

Points well taken, but he has an impressive cabinet of trophies that he has helped his team win to point at.

posted by trox at 04:02 PM on August 10

Joe88, are you a spambot?

posted by yerfatma at 04:18 PM on August 10

Matt Leinert was had by Paris Hilton. posted by jerseygirl at 2:57 PM CDT on August 10 Brian Urlacher was also had by her. Face it just about every single guy who has made a name for himself has been had by Paris. - sorry for the totally generalized statement - couldn't resist.

posted by skydivemom at 04:29 PM on August 10

My first thought was Jason Sehorn, but the more I think about it, the less sure I am that it applies to him. He was pretty enough to make the list, but I don't remember ever hearing anyone comment on him paying much attention to his appearance. If he can have Angie on his arm and not fade into the background, he must have something going for him, but maybe he's one of the lucky few that look good no matter what. Opinions anybody?

posted by ctal1999 at 04:48 PM on August 10

HEY IT IS LEIN-ART PEOPLE! Anyway, I am much sexier than anyone on the list, and if they asked other ethnicities to pick the list would be vastly different!

posted by DA ASSX3N at 04:56 PM on August 10

I have no idea what spanbot is. What I am saying is what is just from my mind.

posted by Joe88 at 05:05 PM on August 10

Shit, that passes the Turing Test. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.

posted by yerfatma at 05:27 PM on August 10

Yup - forgot about Sehorn - he HAS to be on the list. Dude passed on a tackle to keep his pants up.

posted by vito90 at 05:30 PM on August 10

Where's the bling?

posted by graymatters at 05:49 PM on August 10

I'm no Arsenal fan, but I'm with trox on the Ljunberg thing. A friend of mine (who is an Arsenal fan, naturally) nominated Freddy for 'Greatest Living Swede' after the 2002 double season. I think he got a thank you letter back from the royal palace in Stockholm.

posted by owlhouse at 05:59 PM on August 10

I'm far too pretty to get into this one, but how could they not given Ali a permanent place on the list? "I'm pretty, I'm pretty, I'm a baaaad man" Yerfatma, after the Turing did you check the Binet-Simon scale?

posted by ?! at 06:02 PM on August 10

For the record, I'm not against trox on the Ljunberg thing, I was just messing with chico.

posted by gspm at 06:32 PM on August 10

What? No Italian national team? Oh, come on. Doesn't get better looking than that.

posted by PublicUrinal at 10:40 PM on August 10

Damon still looked a lot better with the beard.

posted by commander cody at 01:00 AM on August 11

This should be titled Brokeback Sports Filter Thread

posted by lightman at 08:55 AM on August 11

Meh, lightman. Some people are just comfortable enough in their own sexuality to be able to talk about the attractiveness of others of the same gender without feeling threatened. For instance, Scarlett Johansson is teh hotness. See? You try it. Say Tom Brady is hot. You can do it.

posted by jerseygirl at 09:02 AM on August 11

Simon Gagne makes me feel kind of funny...Like when I used to climb the rope in Gym class.

posted by HATER 187 at 10:00 AM on August 11

Have to disagree with you on Brady, JG. Hot? I don't think so. Now Heath Ledger on the other hand (so to speak)...hmmm...

posted by commander cody at 01:25 PM on August 11


posted by jerseygirl at 01:47 PM on August 11


posted by commander cody at 01:52 PM on August 11

Well he's hotter then Matt Damon!

posted by commander cody at 01:53 PM on August 11

If Nadal wants off this list, he needs to show that he's dedicated to developing his game more than developing a new line of apparel. I guess this guy forgot to watch Wimbledon! Nadal may wear flashy clothes, but he's a hell of a tennis player and probably the hardest working athlete on the ATP tour. Despite the capri pants.

posted by sic at 02:39 PM on August 11

...or maybe because of the capri pants. Gurl, you have to work those bad boys.

posted by chicobangs at 03:01 PM on August 11

Definitely missed out on the Italian soccer team: Luca Toni, Alessandro del Piero, Francesco Totti, Fabio Cannavaro (I mean "Fabio, for fuck's sake), all belong on this list. I mean, is there an ugly guy on the team? Well, other than Zambrotta. Funny that I never really considered Nadal to be a pretty boy in any way. His aggressive style of play more or less negates any prettiness. On the other hand, the one thing that kind of redeems Federer in my mind is that he's kind of funny looking. Otherwise, I'd REALLY hate him.

posted by psmealey at 04:28 PM on August 11

Federer looks like a Prince Valiant wannabee.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 05:48 PM on August 11

Maybe I am getting old and cranky, but wouldn't Mr. Arora have been able to save himself a lot of writing if he'd just written "fag" after each of their names? I mean, that is the point he is trying to make, right? They are pretty, so they must be less than entirely manly. That's his point, right?

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:17 PM on August 11

Sorry Joey. I think you're off base. When I call someone a pretty boy, I think of someone like Michael Kelso (That 70's Show). Good looking and extremely aware of it, and more about appearance than substance. That's the same impression I got from the article. Too concerned with looks for the average guy to stomach? Yep. Gay? Not most of them (considering the women they tend to get). Of course, considering the women they tend to get, maybe they're just smarter than the average guy.

posted by ctal1999 at 10:19 PM on August 11

Quoting the article: "A "pretty boy" is someone whose Achilles' Heel is that he invites jokes about breaking a heel." So, basically, a man who is more like a woman than a man. By the terms of the article. I may be off base, but look at Arora's language choices.

posted by Joey Michaels at 04:11 PM on August 12

Scarlett Johansson is teh hotness. Wow. You're right. I feel better already. ctal1999: "Of course, considering the women they tend to get, maybe they're just smarter than the average guy." I think it is simply pretty women are selecting similar men.

"But these effects were very weak compared to the likelihood of women who score themselves highly in physical appearance choosing males with the same," said Dr. Buston, "and for both men and women with lots of resources to choose mates with resources."-- 2003 Study reported in NY Times

posted by ?! at 04:17 PM on August 12

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