March 30, 2019

If You Play Golf With Trump He Might Touch Your Balls: “To say ‘Donald Trump cheats’ is like saying ‘Michael Phelps swims,'” writes Rick Reilly in the new book Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump, out Tuesday. “He cheats at the highest level. He cheats when people are watching and he cheats when they aren’t. He cheats whether you like it or not. He cheats because that’s how he plays golf … if you’re playing golf with him, he’s going to cheat.”

posted by rcade to golf at 10:02 PM - 7 comments

You play a round with him and go along with his monkey business, it ain't really golfing, it's hanging out at a dude ranch. The name of the ranch is the N-ABLE-R.

posted by beaverboard at 07:20 AM on March 31

I can never set my expectations for Trump low enough to match the reality.

Golf cheats are common, but I've never heard of one who throws somebody else's good shot into a bunker when they aren't looking.

Trump is the worst famous American who hasn't personally murdered somebody. But there I go again setting expectations.

posted by rcade at 11:37 AM on March 31

We could authorize Tirico to be designated the official on-call CINC golfing partner. That would be OK. But Samuel L., c'mon, man, show some discernment.

posted by beaverboard at 02:14 PM on March 31

Trump is the worst famous American who hasn't personally murdered somebody.

Have you checked 5th Avenue lately?

posted by tommytrump at 04:05 PM on March 31

This didn't surprise me in the slightest. Like, not even a little bit.

posted by tahoemoj at 05:57 PM on April 01

Everyone should play golf the way Trump does. I mean, really, he knows golf .. he owns golf courses and has an uncle who also plays golf. Played golf at Yale, actually was the best captain they ever had, could have turned pro if he didn't become the world's best fisicyst. Great guy, super .. actually best uncle ever.

posted by cixelsyd at 12:15 PM on April 02

Reilly has now apparently challenged Trump to a high dollar golf match.

This is doing wonders for Rick's career at a point when it was thought to be beyond revival, even with today's modern medical methods.

If Trump agrees, I think they should play the match at a neutral site, not a Trump branded course. Somewhere over in Scotland, where disgruntled men who don't like heavy handed land development tactics have been known to lurk in the tall grasses.

It'll be the Secret Service against a team of UN International Observers in a hole by hole running duel to control the outcome. Black suits and blue berets going toe to toe in the midday sun with ball location the unwitting pawn in a titanic struggle for the future of golf etiquette in the free world.

posted by beaverboard at 03:27 PM on April 02

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