August 12, 2010

Shaq: 'I Play a Little Girl on the Internet': "For the last seven years, I've been a detective for Internet crimes against children. So if you ever see me, you know we've got you. If we come to your house, it's all over. You're going to be arrested. You've been having Internet conversations with me, and we've got all the evidence we need to take you down. ... I play a little girl on the Internet." -- Shaquille O'Neal

posted by rcade to basketball at 05:20 PM - 10 comments

Who doesn't?

posted by wfrazerjr at 11:28 PM on August 12

I don't.

Instead, I play a 7 foot, 280 lb African-American basketball player.

posted by owlhouse at 03:59 AM on August 13

Really? I play Mork from Ork. It's kind of a retro-nostalgia tribute thing for me. Nanoo nanoo, bitches.

posted by billsaysthis at 12:38 PM on August 13

On the interwebs, I'm a unicorn! With a smiley face!

posted by The_Black_Hand at 12:49 PM on August 13

Dammit, owlhouse, stop spamming my OKcupid inbox. I told you I'm not interested!

posted by Ufez Jones at 01:34 PM on August 13

Who doesn't?

That was you?

posted by MeatSaber at 04:47 PM on August 13

Ahh, the internet. Where men are men, women are men, and children are Shaquille O'Neal.

I would actually be interested in having an internet (or any other) conversation with Shaq, for the simple reason that I think he is a compelling speaker (by which I mean kind of crazy).

I would also love to see Shaq as a mounted police officer, for the humor value of seeing that guy on a horse.

posted by Bonkers at 03:23 AM on August 14

Shaq seem like an okay guy, but he's a little deluded. I'm pretty sure the reason justin bieber was impressed by Shaq is 99 percent because... he's Shaq.

And if Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" is any indication a moron could trap those guys. But he's Shaq, what the hell else could he do?

posted by justgary at 04:13 PM on August 15

Shaq- showing his inner girliness. Can't wait for the next NBA season to start. I wonder who will leave the polka dot panties in his locker?

posted by irunfromclones at 04:52 AM on August 16

Dude, do you think they make polka dot panties anywhere near big enough for the Big Leprechaun?

posted by billsaysthis at 12:00 PM on August 16

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