August 19, 2002

"'So, is it true that if a woman puts K-Y jelly in her vagina, it'll, like, burn up a condom?'': When the NFL gets all the rookies together for their preseason and pre-career symposium, both hilarity and seriousness ensue.

posted by vito90 to football at 02:48 PM - 14 comments

Things I learned from this article: The New York Giants have a 438 question test that all prospective players are required to take. It asks questions like, "Have you ever put a dog in a microwave?" Football players eat grilled chicken, and roast beef, and macaroni and cheese. All at the same time. And they seem to like it. Not all links to New York Times articles should be ignored.

posted by iconomy at 07:14 PM on August 19

Kendrell Bell, a Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker, tells of his great awakening to the verities of income tax: ''I got a million-dollar signing bonus. But then I got the check, and it was only $624,000. I thought, Oh, well, I'll get the other half later. Then I found out that's all there was. I thought, They can't do this to me. Then I got on the Internet and I found out they can.''

posted by lescour at 12:16 AM on August 20

What about Marcelus Wiley's "stable of women" to "avoid undue complications"? Women's rights groups must just love this objectivication.

posted by shackbar at 02:02 AM on August 20

I want to live in Kendrell Bell's universe. The one where 624 is half of 1000. The comment about K-Y Jelly is amusing and sad at the same time. K-Y Jelly is a spermicide, mister man. It burns up sperm, not condoms. Burning up condoms is the exact opposite of what K-Y Jelly is meant to do. Sheesh. Now Naval Jelly - that would be something else entirely. That would burn up a condom. Might sting a little going in, though.

posted by iconomy at 07:15 AM on August 20

Man, Kendrell Bell really said that?! That has got to be one of the all time classics. That just speaks volumes for the educational system at the University of Georgia. Looks like he really got the most out of his time there.

posted by rosey8810 at 08:13 AM on August 20

I do love it though when the guys are all sitting around talking about the first thing they're going to splurge big on, and it's something for their moms. "Gotta get Mama that house!" Something about that is so touching. If I had a wad of cash burning a hole in my pocket it would feel so good to be able to shower something like that on my mom. Not that my mom needs anything or wants me to buy her anything but still.

posted by vito90 at 09:01 AM on August 20

Iconomy, K-Y jelly is a lubricant, not a spermicide. Gee, and I thought this was a sports site. Heh.

posted by werty at 10:07 AM on August 20

What about Marcelus Wiley's "stable of women" to "avoid undue complications"? Seems to me that absolutely nothing - NOTHING - in the world will create undue complications faster than a "stable of women".

posted by vito90 at 10:16 AM on August 20

Najeh Davenport ''It's comfortable. That's what this generation is about. Kris Kross did it, and we do it.'' Kriss Kross pooped in a laundry basket?

posted by patrickje at 11:06 AM on August 20

K-Y jelly is a lubricant, not a spermicide. Blush. And it says in really large letters on the K-Y Jelly site (which I linked to!): NOT A SPERMICIDE. I keep mixing up my jellies.

posted by iconomy at 06:27 PM on August 20

Somehow I think the AIDS prevention education came too late for some of these guys. That's something that universities should consider giving to all incoming freshmen (controversial, I know, but it's shocking what we don't know.) It doesn't surprise me about these men buying things for their mothers once they 'make it'--I did the same thing, on a much smaller scale, for my own mother after getting my first full-time job. I think it's something that a lot of us raised by single mothers know we need to do to give back.

posted by Meril at 12:00 AM on August 21

I find it absolutely amazing that the Giants have such a long test which never touches upon throwing and/or catching a football. Kendrell Bell should be happy that his name even showed up in the paper. He'll be sacking groceries in no time.

posted by ttrendel at 12:52 AM on August 21

Didn't Marcelus Wiley go to an Ivy League school? Did he have a stable of women there? And what were his SAT scores?

posted by shackbar at 04:54 AM on August 21

Kendrell may be sacking groceries some day, but it won't be any time soon if last year was any indication.

posted by jackhererra at 03:19 PM on August 21

You're not logged in. Please log in or register.