04/25/24
March 03, 2006
Now shooting the bonus ...: Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko gets a pass from his wife once a year to sleep with another woman. On ESPN's own "Pardon the Interruption" television show, Tony Kornheiser, said, "She is a Top 5 wife, all-time. In fact, she is up there right now on the Mount Rushmore of wives."
posted by wfrazerjr to basketball at 09:50 AM - 60 comments
I think Magic Johnson had the same arrangement with his wife several years back. How's his HIV treatments going?
posted by dyams at 10:01 AM on March 03, 2006
This summed it up for me. Definitely a double-edged sword.
posted by yerfatma at 10:29 AM on March 03, 2006
Does Lopatova get the same freebie? I'm thinking that's probably a dealbreaker.
posted by rcade at 10:35 AM on March 03, 2006
Being that the team plays in Utah, this will probably go by completely unnoticed. And why shouldn't it? Really.
posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 10:49 AM on March 03, 2006
Wilt Chamberlain borrowed on credit, and now he can never die. (Why doesn't the Salt Lake Tribune ever quote SportsFilter posts?)
posted by BullpenPro at 10:57 AM on March 03, 2006
I can see it now on SportsCenter... "Sweet sassy mo-lassy! Get out the checkbook and pay grandma for the rub-down!"
posted by wingnut4life at 11:03 AM on March 03, 2006
How's his HIV treatments going? From what I've seen? Pretty damn well. Yay for progress.
posted by justgary at 11:11 AM on March 03, 2006
Since he is a man...he only has to TELL her about one per year! Deny Deny Deny
posted by tmart937 at 11:31 AM on March 03, 2006
I thought I was lucky cause my wife let's me look at the beach.
posted by scottypup at 11:59 AM on March 03, 2006
Hey, if it's good enough for Larry David, it's good enough for anyone... I'm with Kornheiser-this is a brilliant thing for an athlete wife to do!!! The reality is, a lot of guys dream of the life of rockstar/athlete/etc for one reason, and it's not necessarily the public element. :) I'm sure every athlete wife has to deal with the reality that their husbands travel for long periods of time, are rich, often reasonably attractive or at least in great shape, and usually reasonably famous... So yeah, while an Anna Benson used a heavy stick that in the long run may prove less useful (wait till your looks fade, you gold digging ho! He'll still be rich but you'll just be an even uglier version of Tawny Kitaen!!!), Masha has instead decided to give her husband a once-a-year chance to dabble, to engage in a little hanky-panky. Now she has control and knowledge of his extra-marital dabblings, which means it's no longer something to be frightened of or for their marriage to be constantly on pins and needles while her husband is traveling. And I bet he's probably quite faithful: why cheat, when you know it's a pointless risk and you get one freebie a year anyway? From the picture, she's a pretty attractive woman herself, she's probably a good, game, and giving wife, and if you know you have permission to dabble once a year... well, where's the tempation? As a guy myself, I wouldn't be surprised if the reaction he has is that he doesn't really even want to cheat so much anymore, and probably has to spend too much effort picking "the one" each year for it to even be fun. Does it weaken their marriage? Well, that's only for them to decide- seriously, it's none of our damn business, and certainly not our place to judge! I can't fathom why people feel they have some right to declare someone else's marriage invalid or non-functional (would anyone be surprised if thrice-married oxycontin fiend Rush Limbaugh or falafel enthusiast and part-time sexual harasser Bill O'Reilly feel they have to bleat their own stenorous moral outrage in response?) despite evidence to the contrary. And any silly claims that this is about the STD issue is full of crap. You can take protections, it's still just once a year, and truth be told he'd probably be doing it anyway; now, he'll probably be smarter and more faithful. It's not like us unmarried people are single, so any claims that it's 'dangerous' to sleep with multiple partners sounds like some bible-thumpin' nonsense. Too many marriages in the US end badly, and sexual issues along with that sense of being "trapped" in a marriage are part of cause plenty of times. This is purely speculation on my part, but I've long felt that if we weren't so damn hung up on silly Puritanism in this country, people would stick together more freely. If people realized "Hey, if our marriage needs the spice of seeing other people, or if we realized that we love each other in every way, and are happy and raising kids, but the sex isn't clicking, we don't have to just plod on in misery and frustration!", they might just stick together. As for Masha, if this creates a little release valve for her moderately famous husband, while shrewdly reinforcing in his head "I'm your wife, and you're damn lucky to have me... all the rest is just playing around, don't confuse some one-night-stand for real love", it may be quite healthy for their relationship. And for all we know, she has the same arrangement with him for herself- I wouldn't consider that a dealbreaker unless you were terribly insecure. After all, they've been married 6 years, and they may stay married for the rest of their lives. It simply isn't our place to judge what makes a marriage work, and work best, for any two people.
posted by hincandenza at 12:01 PM on March 03, 2006
Does Lopatova get the same freebie? I'm thinking that's probably a dealbreaker. At the risk of revealing my true colors, I'm guessing this is savvy marketing on her part. Rules of Russian Women #1,057: once they hit babushka age, it's like Cinderella at midnight, only you don't even get a pumpkin out of the deal. On preview: Hal, that's a Russian novel on Russian sex. Thoughts on Russian sex should be more sad and compact like: "Who was on top, Drago or Brigette?"
posted by yerfatma at 12:04 PM on March 03, 2006
I'd be shocked if this was the only marriage between two famous people where this kind of arrangement is in place. If you (and your wife) spent long stretches apart and were being propositioned multiple times a day, every day of your lives, you would have this conversation as well, and (to quote the extreme opposite example) I suspect the Doug Christie model is by far the exception and not the rule. As far as this story getting press, it was just an excuse to show pics of Masha Lopatova on ESPN, who's not bad-looking, y'know, for a blonde. I'd call this a non-story.
posted by chicobangs at 12:16 PM on March 03, 2006
Hal, you have great view point on relationships, very progressive. I find myself nodding along and saying amen after each paragraph.
posted by HATER 187 at 12:21 PM on March 03, 2006
Lopatova sound vaguely like the name of a woman who'd forcibly amputate the ol' johnson if she disapproved of where it had been (Lop-it-offa). Contextually appropriate if you ask me. There's such balance in nature. And for the record, I'd probably blow this freebie on day 1.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 12:26 PM on March 03, 2006
I'd probably blow this freebie on day 1. Who, Kirilenko?
posted by yerfatma at 01:12 PM on March 03, 2006
Yeah, what Weedy said. I'd wake up somewhere New Year's Day and realize that I had used up my one freebie less than two hours into the year and I was too drunk to even remember it.
posted by Scott Carefoot at 01:14 PM on March 03, 2006
It is Utah after all. So if your chowder gets cold you can always get another cs or twenty.
posted by kosmicdebris at 01:40 PM on March 03, 2006
As I remember it, Magic wasn't married until after he found out he was infected. To look at him now, you would never have known he is infected.
posted by Crickette at 01:54 PM on March 03, 2006
As I remember it, Magic wasn't married until after he found out he was infected. To look at him now, you would never have known he is infected.... or that he was an athlete. Don't swim out too far from shore, Magic - there may be frisky Norwegians about, and you'd likely get harpooned.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 02:07 PM on March 03, 2006
Ms. Kirilenko has made it even more difficult for us women out there...now husbands are going to be asking why we(women)can't be more like her!!!! I say to each his own,if this allows for a good healthy marriage for her and husband then who are we to judge. I just don't know if I could do that, if my man is going to cheat,he will cheat but I am not sure about facilitating the act!!!!!
posted by naaveyo at 02:39 PM on March 03, 2006
It's great publicity for both of them, and my dog is named Masha. Two thumbs up. It's press, pure and simple. Isn't she holding a CD? This is a perfect non-story. Seriously, it's elegant. I love it.
posted by rainbaby at 03:13 PM on March 03, 2006
or that he was an athlete. Don't swim out too far from shore, Magic - there may be frisky Norwegians about, and you'd likely get harpooned. Magic is still a better point guard than anyone in the league. Show some respect!
posted by budpatient at 03:26 PM on March 03, 2006
My god, no he isn't. He's 40 and weighs 300 lbs. Show some comprehension of reality.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 03:30 PM on March 03, 2006
Wake up and look at the league. No one will ever be as good at the point as Magic Johnson. The man nearly averaged a triple double. Stop hating the Lakers. Are you from Sacramento or something?
posted by budpatient at 03:32 PM on March 03, 2006
No one will ever be as good at the point as Magic Johnson. The man nearly averaged a triple double. Oscar Robinson did average a triple double. Ergo, no one will ever be better than Oscar Robinson. Does that make sense to you? Me neither.
posted by yerfatma at 03:37 PM on March 03, 2006
Who the hell is Oscar Robinson?
posted by BullpenPro at 04:06 PM on March 03, 2006
I wonder if he gets "loans" for sleeping around. If he uses his one can he cash in the remaining oh say 60 or 80 lays he has left? and if its more than one woman will he have to skip a year? if they have a drawn up contract i would love to take a peak and the inners and outters of the deal.
posted by adanitish at 04:16 PM on March 03, 2006
Thanx statboy (yerfatma)! When you're right, you're right. How many Championships did Oscar win?
posted by budpatient at 05:33 PM on March 03, 2006
I wonder if they know that Adultery is punishable by a up to 3 years in a state penitentiary in Utah?
posted by geekyguy at 05:39 PM on March 03, 2006
sure
posted by kyjac1 at 05:50 PM on March 03, 2006
How many Championships did Oscar win? So the criteria for Greatest Point Guard of all time is whatever criteria you define until someone points out someone with a better number? How many rings does Bob Cousy have? (Hint: more)
posted by yerfatma at 05:51 PM on March 03, 2006
By the way statboy, Oscar only averaged 7.5 rpb and 9.5 apg, not quite averaging a triple double. I realize that you were upset by the comment I made about Manny Ramirez's retarded a** but thats no reason to try to make up stats to make me look bad. I already apologized.
posted by budpatient at 05:51 PM on March 03, 2006
Look out yerfatma, he's using the Chewbacca Defense. Video evidence. Back OT. In the article, I believe AK wasn't aware of their "agreement". Definitely a PR move.
posted by lilnemo at 05:57 PM on March 03, 2006
P.S. yerfatma was referring to Oscar Robertson's 1962 season where he averaged: 30.8 PPG, 11.4 APG, and 12.5 RPG.
posted by lilnemo at 05:58 PM on March 03, 2006
Oscar never hosted a TV show either. I don't know about you, but I won't hold that against him.
posted by lilnemo at 06:44 PM on March 03, 2006
Johnson Averaged a double double with Assists and Points and won Multiple Championships
posted by budpatient at 06:51 PM on March 03, 2006
By the way I was talking about his ENTIRE career.
posted by budpatient at 06:51 PM on March 03, 2006
Quite clearly, because you said ENTIRE career right?
posted by lilnemo at 07:02 PM on March 03, 2006
It's not like us unmarried people are only with a single partner. Wow, not sure what happened there. It didn't make any sense the way I typed it. :) Happily, it does seem that most people are pretty cool with this- seems that the general reaction, bloviating blowhards like Rome (is that fucktard ever right about anything?!) not withstanding, is that Mrs. K is smart to do this, and that if it makes their marriage work then more power to him. It's such a non-issue that we've devolved into debating the best-ever NBA point guard.
posted by hincandenza at 07:08 PM on March 03, 2006
I still call PR stunt.
posted by lilnemo at 07:11 PM on March 03, 2006
Johnson Averaged a double double with Assists and Points and won Multiple Championships [redacted] Got it. Thanks for the update. As a Celtics fan, I got to see the man up close. He was as good as I ever hope to see. Starting a game as center when KAJ was down, playing a great game as a center, I don't know if anyone can compete with that. But how many PGs are 6'9"? He was a special player and the very definition of a tweener. It's hard to compare him to other point guards when he was so much more. None of which means there won't be a better point guard some day. None of which means there wasn't a better pure point guard in the past. None of which you'll bother to take in.
posted by yerfatma at 07:36 PM on March 03, 2006
I think you're getting carried away, Hal. Most of the support for this sounds like people having fun with the story, not legitimately endorsing annual marital freebies. (My personal take: 364-day-a-year marraige vows are gross. Damn my Catholic guilt to hell!) To me, his wife's offer sounds like the equivalent of "I don't want anything for my birthday." Sometimes you gotta be careful taking spouses at their word.
posted by rcade at 07:44 PM on March 03, 2006
To me, his wife's offer sounds like the equivalent of "I don't want anything for my birthday." Totally. 100% perfect. And spoken like a man with a registered pope domain.
posted by yerfatma at 08:24 PM on March 03, 2006
Ok, so if he manages to go a full year, ( I know, guys, I know) IF he manages to go a full year without exercising his right to adultery, during the next year could he award himself with a threesome? Or is it like vacation time and you are not allowed to "build" it up? I wonder......
posted by chucodimebag at 09:01 PM on March 03, 2006
is there a echo in here?
posted by adanitish at 09:08 PM on March 03, 2006
Screw you, I got tired or reading through all the Oscar triple double crap, so I did not see your post. By the way, screw you.
posted by chucodimebag at 09:16 PM on March 03, 2006
60 or 80? Doesn't he get 1 a year? How old would that make him? Moron.
posted by chucodimebag at 09:18 PM on March 03, 2006
ahh so you CAN read. I apologize for people putting SO MANY words in there comments ill try to use 1 or 2 syllables so you can catch up. Oh that would make him around 80 or 90 since he gets one per year. I dont know about you but ill be doin the hokey pokey till im 100. wich then my grandkids will cryogenicly freeze me till they find the cure for aging. go science nerds!!
posted by adanitish at 09:24 PM on March 03, 2006
ill? wich? I don't have the time to correct all of your spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. Have you ever heard of capilizing the letter at the beginning of a sentence moron? Science nerds? How about elementary english? Too bad someone did the "hokey pokey" and you showed up. As far as you having grangchildren, please do not reproduce, you have already proven that incest love does have it's boundaries. I just wish someone would cryogenically freeze you now.
posted by chucodimebag at 11:31 PM on March 03, 2006
No wonder Andrei has quietly put up great numbers during his career. He plays in the nba and his wife is a freak. Isn't that the American Dream?
posted by doggstarr at 01:47 AM on March 04, 2006
Chuco: "English" should be capitalized, there should be a comma after "sentence," I believe "grandchildren" only has one "g," and "its" shouldn't have an apostrophe. How can we expect you to find the time to correct other people's "spelling mistakes or grammatical errors" when you don't even have time for your own. Please stop with the grammar lessons -- they're fruitless. If you have a relevant point, just make it.
posted by BullpenPro at 07:13 AM on March 04, 2006
I remember when Sportsfilter was litirete was litarate wasn't full of fucking idiots.
posted by wfrazerjr at 09:21 AM on March 04, 2006
Zing!
posted by The_Black_Hand at 10:33 AM on March 04, 2006
High five!
posted by lilnemo at 01:12 PM on March 04, 2006
I don't have the time to correct all of your spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. Have you ever heard of capilizing the letter at the beginning of a sentence moron? Science nerds? How about elementary english? Too bad someone did the "hokey pokey" and you showed up. As far as you having grangchildren, please do not reproduce, you have already proven that incest love does have it's boundaries. I just wish someone would cryogenically freeze you now. I think that says it all.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 03:55 PM on March 04, 2006
Fuck all of you guys. You were not in the conversation. Analyze that fucksticks. Yeah that word isn't in the dictionary is it? Now some "fuckstick" is going to say "shouldn't that word have a space in between it?" FUCK YOU does. Bull Pen is the only one that has anything relevent to say even though he was not involved. I made a simple mistake by not reading one post and made posted a comment that was vaguely similar to someone elses and he started being a smartass. Now I will just ignore all of you mother fuckers. How's that? That's a rhetorical question asswipes.
posted by chucodimebag at 08:13 PM on March 04, 2006
You were not in the conversation. You're right. I just barged right into your little Griffin and Sabine moment and treated it like this was just another public forum. I made a simple mistake... There is so much, let me sum up: you logged into a sports related site, went to a thread that was marginally (at best) related to sports, got bored when the debate got around to an actual sports topic, skipped ahead in order to toss out a point that had already been made several times in several ways, got abusive when you were called on it in a fair, inoffensive manner, criticized your antagonist's grammar with a single post that had more grammatical mistakes than had existed in the whole thread (just butchered the English language), then when you were called on that you sent flailing epithets in every conceivable direction and accused the other posters registered on this site of intruding into your private conversation. I know you are now ignoring me, but if you change your mind I'd like to hear where this summary has strayed from the truth. Bull Pen is the only one that has anything relevent to say Not by a long shot. There are some wicked good posters on this site, much better than I. I was just challenging you to join them rather than abuse people for no good reason. Clearly I failed and just made you angrier -- I guess I owe you and the poor readers who had to endure your last post an apology.
posted by BullpenPro at 09:13 PM on March 04, 2006
Now I will just ignore all of you mother fuckers. Good, maybe you will stop posting now.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 02:41 PM on March 06, 2006
Amen to that!
posted by Goyoucolts at 04:48 PM on March 06, 2006
If you had an arrangement like that within your marriage, why on earth would you make it public? Now every groupie is going to try to be Kirilenko's Ms. 2006.