February 12, 2006

Hidden: Remind me not to go hunting with Dick Cheney.: USA VP shoots 78-year-old Texas lawyer with shotgun while hunting quail. So many jokes in there I don't know where to start. (The lawyer is doing fine.)

posted by worldcup2002 to other at 03:23 PM - 140 comments

Well I guess hunting is a sport. This does not bring pride to the state of our politicians in this country.

posted by skydivemom at 03:29 PM on February 12

This is hilarious. Luckily for that guy, Dick Cheney has had so many heart attacks he travels with a complete ER staff. I have been quail hunting several times and I was always under the impression that you don't shoot until the birds are high enough off the ground that you won't clip the humans, but who am I.

posted by mcstan13 at 04:31 PM on February 12

I'm surprised Chaney uses a gun in the first place. I thought all Dr. Evil had to do was raise his right claw ala Darth Vader and quail (and anyone else caught in his "darkside force") would just drop dead.

posted by commander cody at 04:37 PM on February 12

I have been quail hunting several times and I was always under the impression that you don't shoot until the birds are high enough off the ground that you won't clip the humans, but who am I. Maybe he had unimpeachable intelligence that the quails were building weapons of mass distruction and so he needed to shoot them first, and collateral damage be damned!

posted by commander cody at 04:39 PM on February 12

I used to work for a veterinarian and every hunting season we were swamped by old men bringing in thier dog with an ass full of birdshot. I would always think to myself, "Was the dog flying overhead, or does this guy just have no business hunting?" Presumably Cheney"s bubby was wearing slightly more brightly orange colored hats and vests than a dog might be, so I guess we know the answer to whether or not the v.p. has any business carrying a loaded gun.

posted by texoma-slim at 04:57 PM on February 12

Brings to mind one of my all-time favorite books; Kurt Vonnegut's Dead-Eye Dick. Utter hilarity. Maybe it was a pre-emptive strike so the Veeps buddy wouldnt drink all the beer.

posted by GoBirds at 05:10 PM on February 12

Maybe it was a pre-emptive strike so the Veeps buddy wouldnt drink all the beer. Or maybe he wasn't quite as good a buddy to the Veep as he thought. BTW, Vonnegut is hands down one of the great authors of our's, or any other, time.

posted by commander cody at 05:13 PM on February 12

I bet he'd be a better shot had he ever joined the military.

posted by Ufez Jones at 05:56 PM on February 12

I really dont have any comment other than and this is who we have representing us in the white house......

posted by W8tinOnLove at 06:54 PM on February 12

I am waiting for the spin doctor carl rove make the atty who was shot by dr evil walking into the gun

posted by arturo at 07:09 PM on February 12

I am waiting for the spin doctor carl rove make the atty who was shot by dr evil walking into the gun Or the lawyer was an undercover terrorist and our brave veep took him out because he knew he was headed to the airport to fly a jet into...um...disneyland...or...or....a church! LOL!

posted by commander cody at 07:12 PM on February 12

Luckily the President and the vice president did not have similar recreation plans.

posted by Aggie1 at 07:12 PM on February 12

I bet he'd be a better shot had he ever joined the military. Secretary of Defense for the whole military should qualify. I am waiting for the spin doctor carl rove make the atty who was shot by dr evil walking into the gun Uh, that's exactly what happened. I really dont have any comment other than and this is who we have representing us in the white house...... Thank God!

posted by STLCardinalfan at 07:15 PM on February 12

Too bad Cheney doesn't go hunting with Rumsfeld...

posted by wingnut4life at 07:25 PM on February 12

Too bad Cheney doesn't go hunting with Rumsfeld... Or Bush.

posted by commander cody at 07:26 PM on February 12

It's par for the course on the Bush administration. Will this drive up the price on gas yet another 35 cents?

posted by mustang71 at 07:46 PM on February 12

It's par for the course on the Bush administration. Will this drive up the price on gas yet another 35 cents? I'm sure they'll find some way to tie the gas prices into this. Maybe the guy who got shot figured out how to lower gas prices, and Cheney was shuttin' him up...

posted by wingnut4life at 08:01 PM on February 12

It's par for the course on the Bush administration. Hell he can't even do this right. They're the modern "Gang the couldn't shoot straight"!

posted by commander cody at 08:15 PM on February 12

most states are trying to retest seniors for drivers license. what about hunting license?

posted by what the? at 09:25 PM on February 12

This reminds of the guy in Massachusetts who killed another man with a bow and arrow in a case of road rage. He got lethal injection. He was 83 when convicted.

posted by Joe88 at 09:28 PM on February 12

I personally can't wait for what Jay Leno has to say about this tomorrow night.

posted by skydivemom at 09:40 PM on February 12

All Quail are members of the axis of evil. It is beleived that the Quail were hiding weapons of mass destruction.

posted by Bill Lumbergh at 09:59 PM on February 12

I personally can't wait for what Jay Leno has to say about this tomorrow night. And Jon Stewert and Bill Mahr comes back on this Friday I think too. Though it is rather sad that our current leaders are just so damn easy to make fun of. Of course they're pretty much a joke most of the time anyway.

posted by commander cody at 10:08 PM on February 12

Hey Bill, how can Quail be the axis of evil? Weren't they in the White House at one time?

posted by what the? at 10:34 PM on February 12

Hey Bill, how can Quail be the axis of evil? Weren't they in the White House at one time? Ahh but that Quayle wasn't evil...just very very stupid. The only other axis of evil I know of in the White House is when Bush is having a meeting with Chaney and Rumsfeld.

posted by commander cody at 10:37 PM on February 12

Cheney mistook the phrase "there's a quail" with "allah ackbar".........rimshot!!!!

posted by Grrrlacher at 12:00 AM on February 13

This is hilarious. Luckily for that guy, Dick Cheney has had so many heart attacks he travels with a complete ER staff. Can you imagine being on that staff?

ER Doctor 1: He's looking like he's gonna croak!
ER Doctor 2: He always looks like he's gonna croak.

posted by dusted at 12:34 AM on February 13

I WONDER IF HE COULD TAKE OUT "DUBYAH" WITH ONE SHOT? YES OR NO, I SURE AS HELL WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIM TRY!

posted by CountDracula58 at 12:43 AM on February 13

I bet he'd be a better shot had he ever joined the military. Secretary of Defense for the whole military should qualify. You'd think it would, wouldn't you? Getting five deferments to avoid being drafted into the army during the Vietnam War seems to be the only qualification he had for being Secretary of Defence in the early 1990s.

posted by grum@work at 12:45 AM on February 13

Word. Funny that before the invasion of Iraq it was the civilians with no military experience in the White House who were the most gung-ho (Bush, Cheney, Rice, Wolfowitz) and the ones with combat experience who cautioned against it (Powell, Armitage).

posted by owlhouse at 01:57 AM on February 13

I WONDER IF HE COULD TAKE OUT "DUBYAH" WITH ONE SHOT? YES OR NO, I SURE AS HELL WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIM TRY! The problem with that is then we'd be stuck with Darth Vader Chaney himself running things. Unless of course he was convicted of doing it. I'm sure he'd make it look too much like an accident though. Shame really.

posted by commander cody at 01:58 AM on February 13

He must be a really bad shot. He couldn't kill a 78-year-old standing next to him after blasting him with shotgun pellets to the head and chest. NRA should take away his license.

posted by worldcup2002 at 02:07 AM on February 13

I have been quail hunting several times and I was always under the impression that you don't shoot until the birds are high enough off the ground that you won't clip the humans, but who am I. mcstan, how would you like to be vice president? Or at least tutor Cheney on quail shooting.

posted by roberts at 05:08 AM on February 13

This reminds of the guy in Massachusetts who killed another man with a bow and arrow in a case of road rage. He got lethal injection. He was 83 when convicted. At this point I have to think you're a troll. Given that "road rage" was coined in the '80s and Massachusetts hasn't had the death penalty since I don't know when and that an 83 year old man would do well to even pull the bow back, I think your story might be off a bit.

posted by yerfatma at 06:25 AM on February 13

Don't forget, Dick's from Wyoming, one of the last great frontier states, and he was hunting in Texas, where the state motto is, "Shoot first and ask questions later." I also thought it was typical Bush II administration style that even though the shooting occurred Saturday, it wasn't given to the press until Sunday. The following is complete and utter speculation: If somebody at the hospital hadn't been ready to leak the story for a wad of cash, we'd have probably never heard about Cheney's favorite sport.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 08:34 AM on February 13

Wow... Cheney is into Shakespeare? Who knew...

posted by MAYANKEE at 09:10 AM on February 13

I can't wait to hear the spin the White House puts on this!! Dixie_Darlin

posted by ginats at 09:43 AM on February 13

It was an hunting accident that could <and has, happened to anybody.. The press coverage on this has been way out of line.

posted by daddisamm at 09:53 AM on February 13

There is nothing funny about a hunting accident.Leave it up to you sorry ass whining dumocrats to turn this political.get a life will you please.

posted by lightning at 09:55 AM on February 13

daddisamm, how is the press coverage out of line? Gerald Ford used to hit spectators with golf balls, and it was all over the news for days! For the love of God, the sitting Vice President of the United States shot a guy! Accident or not, regardless of your politics, that's a freakin' story, man! Same goes for you, lightning. If Clinton had done it, you'd be screaming for him to be hung from the highest yardarm (Vince Foster, anybody?). Friggin' hyper-sensitive neocons...sheesh. You rule the fuckin' world, and can't take a few jokes. Toughen up, sweetheart.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 10:09 AM on February 13

There is nothing funny about a hunting accident. Exhibit A: The Wedding Crashers...unless you meant a real hunting accident...bird shot for everyone. I don't know, I've hunted quite a bit. Even pheasants in South Dakota, daddisamm. Yet, somehow I've always avoided shooting anyone else in my party...guess I'm just lucky that way, if it happens as often as you say it does.

posted by chris2sy at 10:14 AM on February 13

As I recall, several years ago while Governor of Texas, Dubya was quail hunting and shot a Killdeer, having mistaken it for a quail for which he was fined by the Wildlife Department in Texas. There's a pattern here, but I'll bet Cheney won't be fined...after all, lawyers are not an endangered or protected species - for that matter, there even may be an bounty on them.

posted by kingsley at 10:33 AM on February 13

Too bad Cheney doesn't go hunting with Rumsfeld... Or Bush. Someone wants the secret wiretap and Guantanamo vacation...

posted by chris2sy at 10:46 AM on February 13

This is off-topic but a good enough story to include. Yerfatma, the Mass. road rage story is legit, although Joe88 was off on the details: "On February 20, 1994, in Massachusetts, Donald Graham a 54-year-old bookkeeper [and church deacon] became embroiled in a heated, on-going traffic dispute with Michael Blodgett, [age] 42. After the motorists antagonized each other for several miles on ... Interstate [95], they both pulled over to an access road and got out of their vehicles. At that point Graham retrieved a powerful crossbow from his trunk and murdered Blodgett with a razor-sharp 20-inch arrow." Heard this one in driver's ed and a quick google search confirmed the particulars. No lethal injection in Mass. though.

posted by Venicemenace at 10:49 AM on February 13

Secretary of Defense for the whole military should qualify. Since the Secretary of Defense is a civilian job, it doesn't entail military training. OTOH, military training would probably not have prevented this accident. Mr. Cheney did a dumb thing (you don't fire at birds that close to the ground) and someone else paid the price for it. This has nothing to do with his politics or his job; it's simply an indication that he shouldn't be trusted with a weapon until he breaks some bad habits. Now: how many of you are thinking of Aerosmith and singing, "Cheney's got a gun" this morning?

posted by joaquim at 10:49 AM on February 13

I can't wait for the skit "Saturday Night live" is gonna do, you know they can't pass this up.

posted by wiseguy at 10:58 AM on February 13

is dickie whickie going to have his hunting license suspended for 60 days or willgeorgie porgie fix the ticket?

posted by arturo at 11:11 AM on February 13

Thanks Venice. I don't doubt someone went Bo and Luke Duke on the highways of Massachusetts. I just doubt that highway violence would be what reinstated the death penalty in the People's Republic.

posted by yerfatma at 11:51 AM on February 13

The press coverage is out of line. I have heard several anchors say with a smile that the shooting was under infestigation by the Law. All shootings og this nature are investigated. I can can take a few jokes about this story. Most of the stuff I have heard isnt funny. I have heard many say that hunter shouldnt shoot at birds close to the ground. Thats true. Hunters also shouldnt walk behind other hunters,un-announced. That is also a mistkae that apparently occured in this accident.

posted by daddisamm at 11:52 AM on February 13

By the way, Gerald Ford, hitting people with golf balls or falling down, was funny!

posted by daddisamm at 11:53 AM on February 13

chris2sy: I don't know, I've hunted quite a bit. Even pheasants in South Dakota Me, too.

posted by dusted at 11:55 AM on February 13

I WONDER IF HE COULD TAKE OUT "DUBYAH" WITH ONE SHOT? YES OR NO, I SURE AS HELL WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIM TRY! The problem with that is then we'd be stuck with Darth Vader Chaney himself running things. I thought this was already happening?

posted by panteeze at 12:03 PM on February 13

Me, too. I don't know what the rules are on eating roadkill, but that one would have been pretty good eating (I would think) because you would be assured of not crunching down on a pellet while eating it. No damaged meat or anything either, unless there were tracks on it. And, yes, I'm not above eating roadkill (I guess). Could have been worse, you could have ran over a Jackalope.

posted by chris2sy at 12:23 PM on February 13

Too bad Cheney doesn't go hunting with Rumsfeld... Or Bush. Someone wants the secret wiretap and Guantanamo vacation... Looking forward to it too. I hear Cuba is nice this time of year and I've been hearing clicking sounds on my phone for years. To quote that phony in the White House "Bring it on!"

posted by commander cody at 12:53 PM on February 13

chris2sy, had I known what it was, I would have strapped it to the back seat and had rotisseried pheasant for dinner. I'm not above eating (fresh) roadkill while camping... There weren't any tire tracks,but there might be a big bruise - it flew up and I hit it with my windscreen at around a hundred miles an hour. Lucky for me it wasn't a deer.

posted by dusted at 12:56 PM on February 13

Dubya was quail hunting and shot a Killdeer, having mistaken it for a quail Actually I'm surprised he managed to hit anything. I didn't know they taught marksmenship at the fancy Eastcoast prep school he was raised in. Though I still get a chuckle out of it when people refer to him as a "Texan". When I was stationed there in the Air Force they used to have a phrase for phony Texans like him "All hat and no cattle". He's about as much a Texan rancher or outdoorsman as my pet Shi-tzu!

posted by commander cody at 12:58 PM on February 13

Hay Lightning get a life. You sure are quick to fire at the democrats. Look around and see the sportsfilter is for comments from EVERYDAY PEOPLE. You turn this political and are really defensive. hmmmmmmmm!

posted by mustang71 at 01:01 PM on February 13

dumocrats Up yours you dirty repubeican

posted by HATER 187 at 01:41 PM on February 13

dumocrats Up yours you dirty repubeican ROTFLMAO!!!!!

posted by commander cody at 01:44 PM on February 13

Apparantly it was faulty intelligence. An NSA wiretap revealed that Al-Zarqawi had infiltrated the hunting party.

posted by Bury Bonds at 01:47 PM on February 13

I never thought I would hear myself say this but, no matter how bad my day gets, at least Cheney didn't shoot me in the face with a shotgun...

posted by miller at 01:49 PM on February 13

Lol- Im suprised he didnt have a friggin heart attack after he hit the poor guy..... how many has he had? Like 3?!?

posted by redsoxrgay at 01:52 PM on February 13

"sorry mr president...I didn't know I couldn't do that..."

posted by miller at 01:54 PM on February 13

Lol- Im suprised he didnt have a friggin heart attack after he hit the poor guy..... how many has he had? Like 3?!? IMHO he has had one too few so far. lol.

posted by commander cody at 02:13 PM on February 13

Let me clarify mustang71,hunting is a sport I take very seriously.To laugh at or to treat something as serious as a gun accident so lightly and to wish death or harm on anybody with a weapon really bothers me whether its a republican or democrat.I do not wish to get political here but it seems alot of the posts were awfully eager to do so.

posted by lightning at 02:44 PM on February 13

Lightening, let me clarify. What they were doing is what's known as a "canned" hunt. The quail are bred on site and confined to one area, where upon the big brave hunters stand in said place, have the quail scared shitless right in front of them and then blast away. I grew up hunting in Michigan (bird and deer) and take it seriously too, but what they were doing had nothing at all to do with hunting. This amounted to nothing more then a stupid, stupid shooting range accident.

posted by commander cody at 02:52 PM on February 13

"Hunters also shouldnt walk behind other hunters,un-announced. " Yeah, thats right. Never stand BEHIND a man with a loaded gun. Errrp. Lets blame the victim.

posted by sfts2 at 03:00 PM on February 13

nobody is blaming the victim. An accident results whenever several events happen at the same time.

posted by daddisamm at 03:36 PM on February 13

Mr. Cheney did a dumb thing (you don't fire at birds that close to the ground) and someone else paid the price for it. You know he wasn't always such an unsafe hunter or piss-poor shot. The L.A. Times reports that he went on a similar "canned" hunt at a private club in Pennsylvania 3 years ago and over the course of a weekend he bagged 70 pheasants and an unknown number of ducks. Of course I personally think he only shot so many because he thought he was shooting at peasants not pheasants. I guess those who may think this thread is off-topic might be right. After all, what Chaney and his friends think of as "hunting" has nothing to do with sport at all.

posted by commander cody at 04:09 PM on February 13

Word. Funny that before the invasion of Iraq it was the civilians with no military experience in the White House who were the most gung-ho (Bush, Obviously doesn't know what he's talking about.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 04:24 PM on February 13

Maybe he had unimpeachable intelligence that the quails were building weapons of mass distruction and so he needed to shoot them first, and collateral damage be damned! Love it, commander cody! Wish he had shot Bush while he was at it!

posted by Goyoucolts at 04:26 PM on February 13

Wish he had shot Bush while he was at it! I wish he'd invite Bush hunting, so we can at least hold out some hope of it happening.

posted by commander cody at 04:34 PM on February 13

Perhaps all of the smart-asses here should read all the facts of the story before incriminating anyone. A) The lawyer walked up behind them and surprised them. B) He was not wearing his proper safety colors. C) The woman running the shooting range AND the man shot both admitted Cheney was not at fault for the accident. But that wouldn't be funny to a bunch of shitheads trying to make fun of the situation.

posted by mrhockey at 04:36 PM on February 13

Let me clarify mustang71,hunting is a sport I take very seriously.To laugh at or to treat something as serious as a gun accident so lightly and to wish death or harm on anybody with a weapon really bothers me whether its a republican or democrat.I do not wish to get political here but it seems alot of the posts were awfully eager to do so. You should know this site is hopelessly crawling with libs. It's been my experience that pesky little things like facts just get in the way of their bigger objective.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 04:49 PM on February 13

A) The lawyer walked up behind them and surprised them. B) He was not wearing his proper safety colors. C) The woman running the shooting range AND the man shot both admitted Cheney was not at fault for the accident. A. So it's proper hunting to spin and shoot at whatever walks up and surprises you, human or not? Whatever happened to the very basic, being certain of what you're shooting at? If he's that easily startled then it's time for him to put the weapons away. Pretty piss-poor hunting safety. B. Every report I have read (AP, Reuters, etc) or heard (CBS, NBC, even Fox) all say the lawyer was wearing his proper saftey clothing. C. The woman who owns the ranch is well paid by the big brave hunters for these canned hunts and would not drive a future customer away by disagreeing with them. As for the lawyer himself, HE WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD and might say anything. Besides he is a huge contributor to Bush/Chaney, which makes his brainpower suspect right from the start.

posted by commander cody at 04:50 PM on February 13

Perhaps all of the smart-asses here should read all the facts of the story before incriminating anyone. A) The lawyer walked up behind them and surprised them. B) He was not wearing his proper safety colors. C) The woman running the shooting range AND the man shot both admitted Cheney was not at fault for the accident. But that wouldn't be funny to a bunch of shitheads trying to make fun of the situation. As previously noted, facts mean very little. Wish he had shot Bush while he was at it! I wish he'd invite Bush hunting, so we can at least hold out some hope of it happening. Obviously no age limits to post on this site.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 04:53 PM on February 13

Is it me? Or does it seem like our last two presidents are a lot like AOL. You either love them or think they are evil incarnate. Something to think about. I was 13 when Regan was shot. they announced it on the incercom at school and the whole class CHEERED! These were 13 year-old kids. Now where would they have gottan this from? How would a kid know to cheer for a person they did not know to be hurt? I am no fan of JUnior's or Darth VP but I don't wish them hurt. Employed elswhere, yeah, but not hurt

posted by blakrain at 04:53 PM on February 13

A) The lawyer walked up behind them and surprised them, yelling "boo!" B) He was not wearing his proper safety colors, he was dressed in a giant bird costume. C) The woman running the shooting range AND the man shot both admitted Cheney was not at fault for the accident, because they were afraid as Cheney had loaded another round in to the chamber and was mumbling about wounded quail on the ground.

posted by chris2sy at 04:53 PM on February 13

A) The lawyer walked up behind them and surprised them, yelling "boo!" B) He was not wearing his proper safety colors, he was dressed in a giant bird costume. C) The woman running the shooting range AND the man shot both admitted Cheney was not at fault for the accident, because they were afraid as Cheney had loaded another round in to the chamber and was mumbling about wounded quail on the ground. ROTFLMAO! Fantastic!

posted by commander cody at 04:55 PM on February 13

C. The woman who owns the ranch is well paid by the big brave hunters for these canned hunts and would not drive a future customer away by disagreeing with them. Now it's a conspiracy. Let's have an investigation by all means...

posted by STLCardinalfan at 04:55 PM on February 13

Now it's a conspiracy. Let's have an investigation by all means... Works for me...maybe ol' Kenny Starr could investigate? I mean after all we paid him all that money before and he came up with what....um...Nothing!. So this way he could actually earn some of his bucks.

posted by commander cody at 05:00 PM on February 13

The L.A. Times reports... My God, is this liberal rag still in business? Somebody still reads this toilet paper?

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:03 PM on February 13

Works for me...maybe ol' Kenny Starr could investigate? I mean after all we paid him all that money before and he came up with what....um...Nothing!. So this way he could actually earn some of his bucks. Better yet, let's have Clinton call the guy that was shot and tell him to "put some ice on it". Oh and you say he came up with nothing? Clinton was impeached. Deal with it.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:06 PM on February 13

Ahh...but he won his impeachment...deal with that.

posted by commander cody at 05:08 PM on February 13

Nevertheless, he was IMPEACHED. Only the second time ever in history. A fine legacy indeed.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:10 PM on February 13

hey as long as he beat the rap from that witch hunt, I have no problem with the outcome. He won!

posted by commander cody at 05:11 PM on February 13

Further, he won because there were not 67 senators who understood lying under oath is a crime in this country.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:12 PM on February 13

hey as long as he beat the rap from that witch hunt, I have no problem with the outcome. He won! So did OJ.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:13 PM on February 13

My God, is this liberal rag still in business? Somebody still reads this toilet paper? nearly 1 million weekdays and more then 1.2 million Sundays. Makes it, I think, the 2nd largest daily in the nation, right behind those awful liberals at the N.Y Times.

posted by commander cody at 05:13 PM on February 13

So did OJ. Sure he did and I would have voted the same. The states case sucked big time. guilty? maybe, but beyond reasonable doubt? No way.

posted by commander cody at 05:15 PM on February 13

nearly 1 million weekdays and more then 1.2 million Sundays. Makes it, I think, the 2nd largest daily in the nation, right behind those awful liberals at the N.Y Times. I live in LA. This paper is going down the drain faster than you type. Go back and check their 10 year decline. People are getting smarter everyday.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:16 PM on February 13

I live in L.A too and the reports of their impaneding death have been greatly exagerated. They're still the only game in town.

posted by commander cody at 05:18 PM on February 13

Sure he did and I would have voted the same. The states case sucked big time. guilty? maybe, but beyond reasonable doubt? No way. Odds of same blood one in a trillion not convincing enough for you?

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:18 PM on February 13

impaneding Hmmm....I need to get a speel cheecker. on this here thing.

posted by commander cody at 05:19 PM on February 13

I live in L.A too and the reports of their impaneding death have been greatly exagerated. They're still the only game in town. Forget that it's liberal toilet paper. Maybe if they just got a story right once in awhile.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:20 PM on February 13

Odds of same blood one in a trillion not convincing enough for you? Nope, not if I'm not sure the blood wasn't mishandled or contaminated. L.A.P.D. blew this case right from the start. They've improved much lately though.

posted by commander cody at 05:20 PM on February 13

Hmmm....I need to get a speel cheecker. on this here thing. Would also help with words like exaggerated...

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:21 PM on February 13

Forget that it's liberal toilet paper. As a proud pain in the ass liberal member of the loony left I resent that. My toilet paper has pictures of president bush on it, not the Times. It costs a little more, but absorbs so much better.

posted by commander cody at 05:23 PM on February 13

Would also help with words like exaggerated... True, true. I'm a product of public schools.

posted by commander cody at 05:24 PM on February 13

Nope, not if I'm not sure the blood wasn't mishandled or contaminated. L.A.P.D. blew this case right from the start. They've improved much lately though. Ah yes. The police were out to get him. Looks like Johnny won you over like he did the other 12.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:24 PM on February 13

It didn't fit, so I must....well...you know the rest.

posted by commander cody at 05:27 PM on February 13

The police were out to get him I don't think they were really out to get him as much as they were bumbling idiots. Keystone kops investigate a murder. Investgation 101 with the 3 stoogies. Most of them went on to get high paying jobs with FEMA I'm sure.

posted by commander cody at 05:30 PM on February 13

As a proud pain in the ass liberal member of the loony left Are you kidding me? I thought you were a conservative like me. I don't think they were really out to get him as much as they were bumbling idiots. Keystone kops investigate a murder. Investgation 101 with the 3 stoogies. Certainly mistakes were made as with ANY investigation. The difference here was 100,000 journalists (and it seemed like as many lawyers) looking over their shoulder.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:38 PM on February 13

By the way, which branch commander?

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:39 PM on February 13

Boys, boys. Let's keep it to sports, shall we?

posted by DrJohnEvans at 05:43 PM on February 13

Commander Cody and the Lost Planet Airmen. One of my favorite rock groups, beside I was in the Air force, so it seemed to fit.

posted by commander cody at 05:43 PM on February 13

Have to run...will be back for fun later.

posted by commander cody at 05:44 PM on February 13

Something to think about. I was 13 when Regan was shot. they announced it on the incercom at school and the whole class CHEERED! Where exactly in Russia did you go to school? Oh, and they should have taught you we have never had a President Regan.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:47 PM on February 13

Boys, boys. Let's keep it to sports, shall we? Doctor, did you see the subject matter? Besides, I know little about hunting. beside I was in the Air force, Good man! I think somebody in washington flew jets. You're both good men.

posted by STLCardinalfan at 05:52 PM on February 13

Where exactly in Russia did you go to school? ha

posted by miller at 05:52 PM on February 13

STLCardinalfan, You are a fine example of the Conservative Ideology. Like you I find it difficult to discuss some of these topics when we are given talking points like "My toilet paper has pictures of president bush on it" I commend your effort. I still can't believe that these guys have lost 5 of the last 7 Presidential Elections with the high caliber wit, wisdom and intellect that they have offered on this topic. Put your computer on standby and go get a drink. You've earned it.

posted by Termite at 06:05 PM on February 13

Good Grief Anyone who knows anything about Hunting knows the Cardinal Rule! Identify with 100% accuracy what it is you are shooting at before you pull the trigger. This is completely the fault of the shooter. I learned this lesson in a hunters safety class in grade school and with numerous trips to the field with my Father and Uncles. There is absolutely no excuse for VP Cheney, none, nada, zip, zilch...He bears full responsibility for his action and his hunting privledges need to be suspended. Anyone attempting to blame the victum is full of crap!

posted by skydivedad at 06:11 PM on February 13

Let it fucking go. This is painful. Say what you want about birdshot in the ass, a shotgun only holds a finite amount. This could go on forever, without a point in sight.

posted by yerfatma at 06:35 PM on February 13

posted by grum@work at 06:46 PM on February 13

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posted by chris2sy at 07:41 PM on February 13

Like you I find it difficult to discuss some of these topics when we are given talking points like "My toilet paper has pictures of president bush on it" Ahh but that wasn't just a smartassed remark. My toilet paper really does have pictures of Bush on it. I bought out of the back of The Nation magazine. Like I said it costs more, but is worth it for the pleasure it brings.

posted by commander cody at 07:46 PM on February 13

thats funny. he should join the army

posted by united-soccer at 07:50 PM on February 13

I'm printing this thread on my toilet paper right now.

posted by BullpenPro at 08:17 PM on February 13

RIP Sports Filter. This was one of the best I've read in a while. I'll see the best on the Late Show with Letterman.

posted by mustang71 at 08:36 PM on February 13

It never ends, people like "STLCORNHOLEfan" have consumed way too much of the Repugnant party coolaide to see straight. This is funny, how many times in the history of this great nation has the sitting VP "accidentally" shot someone. Your skin is way to thin for this level of discourse my friend. Turn off "Faux News" for a day and get off the meds dude.

posted by FreeSpeechPatriot at 09:00 PM on February 13

I've learned to enjoy the mix of sports and politics once in a while on this site because the participants were all intelligent and reasonably open-minded. Not anymore. Grum has it right: total trainwreck. If you want to repeat your party-line shite over and over, go here (and good riddance).

posted by dusted at 09:16 PM on February 13

It just goes to show you what kind of brains are in the White House! I didnt know the VP was a retard too!

posted by LonghornFaN at 09:51 PM on February 13

Go away or put an email address in your profile so you lovebirds can get together elsewhere.

posted by yerfatma at 06:09 AM on February 14

This could happen to anyone, but shouldn't...especially to the VP of the USA. Be sure of your target and beyond!

posted by IRUNNIKE87 at 07:12 AM on February 14

P.S. I'm a Republican!

posted by IRUNNIKE87 at 07:14 AM on February 14

Does anyone know if Texas has any sort of punishment (i.e. suspension of hunting privelages, etc.) for these sorts of incidents?

posted by IRUNNIKE87 at 07:16 AM on February 14

If he would have shot Monica in the head Bill wouldn't have a dick left.

posted by ballen7065 at 08:21 AM on February 14

Actually, Cheney has been given a warning by the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department for hunting illegally. Hard to spin this one, STLCardinalfan; no matter how minor, he broke the law.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 09:32 AM on February 14

Apparently, this kind of thing does happen from time-to-time.

posted by BullpenPro at 11:55 AM on February 14

Anyone notice that the news reports say the man Chaney shot had a heart attack this morning caused by a pellet in his heart and underwent surgery? Perhaps he wasn't such a bad shot after all. Of course he was just exercising his constitutional rights to shoot at anything that moves.

posted by commander cody at 01:20 PM on February 14

What does this lawyer know that has Cheney running scared? $1,000,000,000 this guy never makes a full recovery.

posted by garfield at 01:33 PM on February 14

$1,000,000,000? Yep, that sounds just about the amount Chaney will be paying out to settle the coming lawsuit. Lucky for him he has all of those Haliburton kickbacks coming when he leaves office in a few years, he'll need it.

posted by commander cody at 01:43 PM on February 14

Where exactly in Russia did you go to school? Oh, and they should have taught you we have never had a President Regan I do have an answer for that but I won't go there. Second Are you REGAN"S bitch that you would get that butthurt over a a missing letter. finally I went to a catholic high school in chicago. and at the time (and even today) I could count the number of black folks that liked Regan on ONE finger.

posted by blakrain at 03:20 PM on February 14

Figure I'll read this thread after I post this. Lawyer by shot by Chaney suffers heart attack.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 04:39 PM on February 14

So if Cheneys unfortunate victim dies will Dick try to hide behind some vague idea of executive priviledge? "I'm the VP, common laws don't apply to me". Don't you know the rest of the world is wondering what kind of idiots could elect such a fool. Once again the Bush League Whitehouse pushes America back in time.

posted by FreeSpeechPatriot at 08:33 PM on February 14

"I'm the VP, common laws don't apply to me". The law has never applied to him. A few days ago during an interview he was asked what he thought about the congress being mad about the domestic spying program without getting warrants. He said that he and the President would be happy to listen to suggestions from congress. He seems to have forgotten that congress does not pass "suggestions" they pass laws. Laws that he is supposed to obey.

posted by commander cody at 08:48 PM on February 14

congress does not pass "suggestions" they pass laws. Yeah, but...on a seventh grade level for you "commander" the President has to approve the laws. When you say "congress" is mad, do you mean Hillary? "Take a flying fuck at a doughnut, take a flying fuck at the moon!"

posted by tselson at 10:56 PM on February 14

Of course the president has to approve them (though those he does not approve are still subject to over-ride by congress), but he also has to obey the ones passed and approved by previous congress' and presidents, such as the FISA act. He has no authority, either from the Consititution or from congress (which could not give such authority anyway) to decide that he does not have to obey a particular law. In simple words for you, he is not above the law and has no legal means to make himself so. So says not my 7th grade teacher (though I'm sure she mentioned it at some point) by my Political Science teacher in college. As for who is angry in congress, yes Hillary is one, but so are most Democrats and many Republicans, including Snow, Hagel, etc.

posted by commander cody at 12:55 AM on February 15

What if the lawyer dies? Are there criminal charges involved?

posted by worldcup2002 at 06:39 AM on February 15

What if the lawyer dies? Are there criminal charges involved? According to the Drudge Report, possibly. But, then again, it is the Drudge Report, so let the buyer beware.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 07:13 AM on February 15

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