February 09, 2005

Another list posted by those crazy McSweeney's folks: Titles From the Hockey-Lockout Erotica Library. BY JOE O'NEILL - - - - The Story of 0-0 Show Me Howe Zamboner Bukkake Hockey The Slapper Penalty Shot Third Man In Crowding the Crease Don My Cherry #16 Stickhandling Teens Negotiate This Orrgasm!

posted by holden at 05:19 PM on February 09

Browns vs. Steelers "Now what are we looking at here?" "I couldn't tell you." ROFL!!! (I'm a sucker for potty humor, what can I say?)

posted by billsaysthis at 05:26 PM on February 09

The Frantics had a routine about reading the newspaper that ended with the headline: "REDSKINS SQUEEZE OUT BROWNS!" heh heh heh. And holden, those are awesome. I've been thinking of other hockeyporn titles all day. The best I could do was The Adventures of the Pocket Rocket, When Terry Saw Chuck and Howie's Not Meeker.

posted by chicobangs at 05:30 PM on February 09

ha! that was good. (scroll way down to 2001 Nobel Prize Underdogs, that's mine)

posted by gspm at 05:31 PM on February 09

Holden - They forgot: Pull The Goalie

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 05:48 PM on February 09

Necrophiliac pickup lines: "Let's play doctor—I'll do an extremely thorough postmortem ... with my penis!" I'm gonna try that one on Friday night! I'm not dead, but hey, it's a good line!

posted by afx237vi at 05:51 PM on February 09

Jacking Samsonov

posted by holden at 06:33 PM on February 09

Seriously hilarious. This reminds me of how I used to make my March Madness picks when I was trying to pick the losing bracket (which had a nice chunk of money attached to it at the office). I would pick it based on which mascot would kick which other mascot's ass. I stole this idea from somewhere and can't find the link or I would share it.

posted by Joey Michaels at 07:08 PM on February 09

I've never been so bored in all my LIFE!

posted by StarFucker at 11:17 PM on February 09

SF, are you missing the NHL that much? Because the US v. T&T and Emgland-Holland matches were both on today and both decent watching.

posted by billsaysthis at 12:41 AM on February 10

If SF was bored before watching England-Holland, I'm guessing he's probably in a coma by now. A perfect opportunity to try out those chat-up lines!

posted by afx237vi at 07:39 AM on February 10

another gem, sammy. thanks!

posted by garfield at 08:57 AM on February 10

Yes, England-Holland sucked... And i don't miss the NHL because the Blackhawks were never on TV in Chicago anyway... This year is like every other year.

posted by StarFucker at 11:02 AM on February 10

SF, if you're bored during the heart of the football season, you need to get some new hobbies. Maybe taste testing all the new brands of vodka would suit you?

posted by billsaysthis at 06:17 PM on February 10

I actually think i have to quit drinking or i'll have a heart attack...that or i'm just paranoid as i haven't had a full physical since i was in the Navy... Anyway, i was bored with this FPP and i was bored with the England-Holland match... I'm not really that bored in general.

posted by StarFucker at 06:50 PM on February 10

Anyway, i was bored with this FPP and i was bored with the England-Holland match... I'm not really that bored in general. Riiiight.

posted by Samsonov14 at 08:28 PM on February 10

More hockey/pron possibilities: Up Your Assists A Hat Trick Per Hole Two Minutes in the Box Through the Five Hole Goal Mouth High Dicking Top Shelf: Big-Breasted Puckbunnies Put It in the Neutral Zone Say Hello to Bob Boughner Poke Czech (set in Eastern Europe) I'm Horny, So (Scott) Fukami Gay Pron: Man Advantage Grab My (Bill) Root Power Gay High Dicking Inside Stanley's Cup And for you Cleveland Steam variant fans: Dump and Face

posted by wfrazerjr at 10:26 PM on February 10

Power Gay?!

posted by StarFucker at 10:59 PM on February 10

Anal Probert?

posted by chris2sy at 12:53 AM on February 11

Lick My Sacco

posted by wfrazerjr at 06:27 AM on February 11

Oh, and I know it's "Steamer", not Steam ... the fact that I'm correcting myself on it really bothers me.

posted by wfrazerjr at 06:28 AM on February 11

Arsenal v Spurs And it looks like a match-up between a whole range of guns and some kind of antique footwear. And the guns have kicked off, this match is over!

posted by BigCalm at 07:44 AM on February 11

Man, I've never found this McSweeney's site before, some of these are priceless! Cruel nicknames for overweight vampires, Things I'd probably say if the Bush administration were a weekly tv show and I were a regular viewer, and Physical Theories as women

posted by BigCalm at 09:35 AM on February 11

Meet Me in Martin St. Louis

posted by holden at 09:39 AM on February 11

I'll Bring the Loob

posted by holden at 09:44 AM on February 11

Suck My Toe, Blake Brad, Park it in Here Eddie Jack'em In Inga Hammers Strom! Cesare's a Man, Iago and of course The Chicoutimi Cucumber

posted by chicobangs at 10:11 AM on February 11

Cruel nicknames for overweight vampires "Dick Cheney"........./snicker

posted by smithers at 10:38 AM on February 11

Whenever his name comes I still chuckle childishly about the time the announcer said, "Kevin Stevens takes it from behind."

posted by 86 at 10:52 AM on February 11

One Night in Parrish Tape-to-Tape Asses

posted by holden at 11:48 AM on February 11

tie me up and domi

posted by goddam at 11:59 AM on February 11

I love that Tie Domi has his own website.

posted by holden at 12:40 PM on February 11

I love that an anagram of Tie Domi's name is ME IDIOT.

posted by wfrazerjr at 07:58 AM on February 13

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