October 23, 2011

The Hoser's NFL Picks, 2011 Week Seven: NFL picks that just teared up watching "Little House On The Prairie."

posted by wfrazerjr to football at 11:22 AM - 6 comments

Welcome to Week Seven of the Hoser's NFL Picks, 2011 Edition, where we may have had a worse week than our friend Muammar.

The Hoser suffered what has to be the worst week in our history, dragging to an awful 1-11-1 against the spread mark and 10-3 straight up. Amazingly, the single game we got right? Atlanta hit the Lock of the Week, keeping us unblemished and scoring an important $500. Still, it was a serious blow to our egos, wallets and standing in the handicapper community.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Remember: these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as picking up your next Sunday-go-to-meetin' outfit from Gaddafi's estate sale.

Chicago (+1) @ TAMPA BAY (44): RB LeGarrette Blount is out, and so are the Buccaneers' chances. Bears 22, Bucs 17.
Washington (+1) at CAROLINA (43.5): This is the best move involving a Beck since FOX fired Glenn. Washington 23, Panthers 17.
San Diego (+1) at NY JETS (43.5): Jets DB Darrelle Revis hung up on talk-show host Mike Francesca after the latter said there was an obvious penalty on Revis's interception return last week. I think it's understandable -- who could listen to that accent for more than 30 seconds? Chargers 23, Jets 21.
Seattle (+2.5) at CLEVELAND (41): I don't think it's the Madden Curse that's screwing Peyton Hillis. He and his agent are doing a fine job of that on their own. Browns 23, Seahawks 20.
Houston (+3.5) at TENNESSEE (44): The line looks strangely off, but the loss of Mario Williams is huge. The Titans should be able to pound the line and control this game. Titans 24, Texans 17.
Denver (-1) at MIAMI (42): I wonder if the 1977 Tampa Bay Buccaneers pop a bottle every time Miami loses this season. Broncos 20, Dolphins 17.
Atlanta (+3.5) at DETROIT (47): Expect Lions head coach Jim Schwartz to show up at midfield after the game wearing boxing gloves. Falcons 24, Lions 20.
Kansas City (+3.5) at OAKLAND (41): The Raiders will be without Sebastian Janikowski, and that affects a line like losing no other kicker in history. Raiders 20, Chiefs 19.
Pittsburgh (-3.5) at ARIZONA (44): Cardinals RB Beanie Wells could get 30 touches in this game. That should keep it close enough for Arizona to cover. Steelers 23, Cardinals 20.
St. Louis Rams (+13.5) at DALLAS (43): You'd think Rams QB Sam Bradford being out would make a difference, but it doesn't. Cowboys 29, Rams 14.
Green Bay (-9.5) at MINNESOTA (47): The Vikings made a good call last week, benching QB Donovan McNabb for rookie Christian Ponder. It's just won't look very good this week. Packers 27, Vikings 17.
Indianapolis (+14.5) at NEW ORLEANS (49.5):Former Colts head coach Tony Dungy said Indianapolis should be interested in collegiate quarterback Andrew Luck. In other news, former Fed chairman Alan Greenspan said people should be interested in money and Dr. Sanjay Gupta announced humans should be interested in breathing. Saints 31, Colts 17.
Baltimore (-9.5) at JACKSONVILLE (40): The Jaguars are averaging 12 points a game, and that won't improve this week. Ravens 26, Jaguars 10.

Lock of the Week: Atlanta

Trifecta: Atlanta, Chicago, Washington

2011 Week 6 Hoser Picks:
Straight Up: 10-3
Against The Spread: 1-11-1
Lock of the Week: 1-0
Trifecta: 0-1
Money: $-710

2011 Season Hoser Picks
Straight Up: 65-26
Against The Spread: 44-45-1
Lock of the Week: 6-0
Trifecta: 2-4
Money: $+2,800

2011 Week 6 Pro-Line: $10
2011 Week 6 Pro-Line: $0
2011 Season Pro-Line: $74
2011 Season Pro-Line: $169
2011 Total: $+95

posted by wfrazerjr at 11:23 AM on October 23

The Saints are looking to move up in the BCS poll after last night's win.

Sean Payton found out what Charlie Weis has known for a long time: when you go upstairs and coach from the booth, you can call for catering.

posted by beaverboard at 09:41 AM on October 24

The Colts are truly horrific with Manning. It makes you wonder who has been really coaching that team. Ponder looked pretty good. I'm biased, but I thought he played well. The Vikings are better with him starting at QB.

I'm doing truly horrific with my picks. I am much worse than if I just picked randomly.

posted by bperk at 02:00 PM on October 24

The Colts are truly horrific with Manning.

Good God, man, have you seen them without him?

Because I'm bored and I've never, ever committed a typo

posted by tahoemoj at 02:31 PM on October 24

I want to add that the Saints offense look really terrible without Reggie Bush, and the Titans defense are really great at stopping the run.

posted by bperk at 04:20 PM on October 24

Clearly, Manning should win the MVP

posted by kokaku at 04:59 AM on October 25

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