04/19/24
April 06, 2010
Kenyon Martin Flips Out Over Popcorn Prank: After former Denver Nuggets ballboy Laquan Johnson took player Kenyon Martin's car keys out of his locker and filled his Range Rover with buttered popcorn as an April Fool's joke, Martin was steaming mad when he saw what it did to the car's white interior. "I'm going to find out who did it ... put my [expletive] hands on one of y'all," Martin yelled in a locker-room tirade. "How 'bout if I don't play in the playoffs until somebody tells me who did it."
posted by rcade to basketball at 09:31 AM - 18 comments
It wasn't enough to fill the car with popcorn? He had to butter it too?
posted by kokaku at 10:33 AM on April 06, 2010
And that's why you use the Styrofoam type of "popcorn" or "peanuts", not 20 tubs from the food concourse.
posted by yerfatma at 10:53 AM on April 06, 2010
Okay, not a great joke because it resulted in real damage to the car, but that doesn't excuse Martin from threatening physical violence or refusing to play in the playoffs over it. He is a millionaire. It would be the equivalent of me getting completely and totally unhinged because someone ruined my cup of Starbucks and now I have to buy a new cup. He is a humorless ass.
posted by bperk at 11:02 AM on April 06, 2010
I would be pissed also. Just because someone can afford to replace a car doesn't give someone the right to destroy it. It also takes a real a hole to do something like this. It does not seem like a harmless prank. Destroying the interior of a Range Rover is not my idea of an April Fools joke. I say Martin threats are pretty stupid but no more than the prank itself. It just seem all the money in the world just doesn't correct stupid.
posted by Atheist at 11:47 AM on April 06, 2010
It doesn't sound to me like the car was destroyed. Damaged, yes; destroyed, no.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 12:02 PM on April 06, 2010
I picture him flipping out like the professor in "Real Genius" and I can't stop giggling.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:06 PM on April 06, 2010
"I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't want you guys to think I was stuffy. You know, no fun. All brain, no penis."
posted by yerfatma at 12:20 PM on April 06, 2010
The prank I like better is when someone fills Terrell Owens' helmet with popcorn while he's wearing it.
posted by beaverboard at 12:50 PM on April 06, 2010
Of course you're going to get pissed when someone fills your car with buttered popcorn.
Beyond the cost of getting the car repaired, it was a major pain in the ass to deal with. While I might not have threatened violence against my co-workers, I can't say for sure that I wouldn't have.
It's not even a very good April Fool's joke. It's a prank, and not a very good one, unless payback is involved.
posted by dviking at 01:55 PM on April 06, 2010
I'm willing to cut Mr. Martin a little slack here. Its hard to watch what's flying out of your mouth when your steaming angry.
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:58 PM on April 06, 2010
He was pissed that someone was given access to his car, not about the popcorn.
posted by DudeDykstra at 04:42 PM on April 06, 2010
Though, I somehow don't think Kenyon Martin would be high on my, "Gee, this guy seems really good natured and knows how to take a joke!" list.
Isn't that the whole point? What's the fun of pranking someone who's good natured and will take the joke? That's not any fun.
You want to prank someone who will lose their fucking mind, just like KM did (while you innocently watch them, biting your tongue to keep from laughing). That's the fun of pranking someone. The danger of physical violence just spices it up.
posted by cjets at 04:58 PM on April 06, 2010
And that's why you use the Styrofoam type of "popcorn" or "peanuts", not 20 tubs from the food concourse.
The Styrofoam type is much to be preferred, as Tom Brady would testify.
posted by Howard_T at 05:36 PM on April 06, 2010
My immediate thought. Wonder if Cassel has run that on Brody Croyle yet.
posted by yerfatma at 08:31 PM on April 06, 2010
Did any of you read the story? He wasn't so much pissed about the prank as the fact that the organization seemed complicit in allowing some nobody access to the dude's personal items (keys) AND access to the team's private parking lot:
Martin stormed in and out of the locker room several times, and a person close to him said his anger was not over the prank, but over the fact that someone could go into his pocket and take his keys during a game. Realizing the culprit had to have access to the private code for the team's gated parking lot, he assumed members of the organization either pulled the stunt or assisted in it.
"The fact that no one saw it or had anything to say about it -- not security, not the equipment manager," a person close to Martin said, explaining the player's anger. "Somebody had to see it. He was wondering how the organization let something like that happen. What if the kid had really wanted to do something evil?"
This in a league where an owner does this:
During the Nuggets' second-round playoff series in Dallas, Mavericks fans taunted Martin's mother. After a fan allegedly called the Nuggets thugs, Cuban admitted to saying, "And that includes your son."
One might feel a little tense about stuff.
posted by basicchannel at 04:32 AM on April 08, 2010
I'm sorry. I'm ridiculous. That they allowed some ANYBODY access to his things/cars/etc.
posted by basicchannel at 04:35 AM on April 08, 2010
Wow, what a DICK! (Not the ballboy...)
posted by StarFucker at 03:46 AM on April 13, 2010
To be fair, I would be pretty damn steamed if somebody pulled that prank on my car. Though, I somehow don't think Kenyon Martin would be high on my, "Gee, this guy seems really good natured and knows how to take a joke!" list.