December 09, 2009

John Daly thinks we should stop being nasty to Tiger: But then, he also thinks a movie should be made of his own life story. He thinks Kevin James should play him before his weight loss while Matt Damon should play the new svelte Daly. "I saw [Matt Damon] in The Legend of Bagger Vance, now if I could get him to take the club back further, he'd be perfect," Daly said. "The problem is who is going to play all my ex-wives?"

posted by JJ to golf at 05:24 AM - 27 comments

Whatever, John. I really do like Daly, but the day anyone follows his lead on anything will be a cold one. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Woods (or anyone who's a casual observer) thinking he's going to have a lot of privacy following these issues is ridiculous. He is one of the world's most famous people, and to this point has apparently been able to live his life like a roving (much younger) Hugh Hefner. Thinking he can go off and screw dozens of skanks the world over and that when attention comes calling they'll all have the ability to clam up and not say anything (unless the price is right to clam up and not say anything) is absolutely laughable. Woods is a great golfer who wanted it all, wanted us to buy into the B.S., and we did. You enjoyed the media attention when it was good, Tiger, now accept it when it's rough. As for his wife, if she doesn't leave the guy she's nuts. One affair can probably be overlooked, but MANY affairs, especially with the (apparent) whores Woods has slutted around with, means she will never, EVER trust him when he's gone (which he usually is), and she should really be pissed about all the potential diseases Tiger possibly exposed her to by doing it with all these human-landing-strip tricks.

posted by dyams at 06:43 AM on December 09

Daly's more real than Woods, so I'll give him credit for that, but this quote shows an interesting value system: "Theoretically if you think about it, it's because of Tiger that we're playing for so much money, and hopefully he and Elin can work it out."

Leave Woods alone because he made golf a lot of money?

posted by rcade at 07:41 AM on December 09

Leave Woods alone because he made golf a lot of money?

Exactly. Noone in the golf community benefits from any of this, so I'd expect some support for him, regardless of whether or not he has a little black book the size of the Miami-Dade phone book.

The entertainment world gets fuel for a sweet fire, though.

posted by dfleming at 09:08 AM on December 09

Slightly off-topic, but in light of the news of Tiger Woods using Ambien as a "performance enhancer," I would like to coin the term "Ambientercourse." Neologism, fellas (and gals).

posted by holden at 09:30 AM on December 09

Noone in the golf community benefits from any of this ...

I wonder. Tiger will be getting a huge amount of mainstream media attention at events he plays next year. There could be a short-term bounce in attendance and ratings now that he's the Cablanasian Paris Hilton of sport.

posted by rcade at 09:37 AM on December 09

I wonder. Tiger will be getting a huge amount of mainstream media attention at events he plays next year. There could be a short-term bounce in attendance and ratings now that he's the Cablanasian Paris Hilton of sport.

I'm not sure there'll be much mention of, you know, the golf.

If he so much as breathes on the busgirl though, you better believe the Vegas odds line changes in 15 minutes. Statisticians are probably working as we speak to determine whether Tiger having a mistress in the city increases/decreases his chance of winning a tournament.

posted by dfleming at 09:58 AM on December 09

In the "it's just coincidental" category, Gatorade is dropping its Tiger Woods drink.

*I came back to edit my response because it sounded snarky. It is seriously coincidental.

posted by dfleming at 10:23 AM on December 09

It really is just coincidental. The announcement was made in a sports business trade publication before Woods became tabloid fodder.

posted by rcade at 10:26 AM on December 09

Tiger needs to get a Peter Gammons/ARod style interview ASAP in order to get out ahead of the rumor mill. Perhaps Jim Nantz would go easy on him, anyone but Johnny Miller.

posted by mayerkyl at 10:57 AM on December 09

Tiger would say that it's all coincidental.

posted by BornIcon at 10:57 AM on December 09

It says a lot about me (and not in a good way) that I spent most of that SNL clip silently fuming that they gave "Elin" a Titlest wedge with which to menace "Tiger". Granted, he played Titleist for a long time, but that was a new model spin-milled Vokey. There's no way he has any of those lying around the house. If he did, and the press found out, there'd be an even bigger media storm than there is cur...

OK, no there wouldn't. But still.

Maybe Elin plays Titleist. Maybe that's why he cheated.

I agree, mayerkyl. In these situations you only have two options: deny everything, or spill everything. He already threw the denial option out the window, so he really needs to get on with option two. I don't think big Jim Nantz is the man for the job though. I'm thinking it's got to the point where only Oprah will do.

posted by JJ at 11:12 AM on December 09

If Tiger decides to play anytime soon there might be short term bounce in attendance/viewership, but I would think it would be very short term.

After the first couple of events that he plays in, we'll get a sense for how he handles himself. If he handles it well, it dies down quickly. If he blows up, he'll almost certainly take more time off.

Whatever the short term bounce is, it won't be nearly as good for golf has having the "old" Tiger was. He didn't play in that many events as it was, and the ones he did play in had huge bounces over the other events.

posted by dviking at 11:17 AM on December 09

Normally I would agree that it's a smart move to get it all out there, but how can Woods possibly put a sympathetic spin on all of this? His first apology played the "I can change" card, but would anyone really buy that again now that the extent of his horndogging is becoming known? I think he'll probably go Howard Hughes on us rather than seeking a public confessional.

posted by rcade at 11:25 AM on December 09

I don't think the getting it all out there thing would (or could) generate sympathy, but he'll be dogged by it forever if he doesn't do it, and the sooner he does it, the easier it will be and the quicker it will die down afterwards.

Maybe.

posted by JJ at 11:38 AM on December 09

Phil Mickelson being a bit of a "choir boy" isn't looking like such a bad approach now, maybe?

posted by littleLebowski at 12:20 PM on December 09

Go and hang out with the tour caddies some weekend and ask them about how much of a choir boy Farmer Phil is. I did like the fact that the female Florida State trooper who read out the details of Woods's traffic violation at the press conference was the spitting image of Phil.

Speaking of the police - the latest news doing the rounds is that on the night of the accident Woods was admitted to hospital as a suspected overdose case.

posted by JJ at 12:31 PM on December 09

Lawmaker drops effort to honor Tiger Woods.

posted by dfleming at 07:27 PM on December 09

So it appears that Tiger's a bit of a freak. He's big timing out there. I mean really. He's not just stepping out, or having an affair. He's a straight international slut wrangler.

I think his mistake was geting married. He denied his nature. Should have taken a page from Jeter. But he tried to play both ends. The nice wife and kid and the parade of poon. You can't have both Tiger. Not you, anyway.

Yet, somehow, some way, life seems to grind on...

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 08:34 PM on December 09

wife and kid and the parade of poon

I smell a country music hit!

posted by dyams at 09:34 PM on December 09

wife and kid and the parade of poon

And a truck SUV .

posted by tommytrump at 11:53 PM on December 09

You say "private island", I say "snow-capped prison"... tomato tomatto.

This could turn him into the Roy Muson of golf - if it hasn't already.

posted by JJ at 08:51 AM on December 10

I smell a country music hit!

Nope, it sure wasn't a hit. Whoda thunk Tiger would become a bigger train wreck than Daly?

"I saw [Damon] in The Legend of Bagger Vance, now if I could get him to take the club back further, he'd be perfect," Daly said. "The problem is who is going to play all my ex-wives?"

There are, um, 9, or 10, or 11 prospects that Woods can line up for ya, John.

posted by mjkredliner at 09:45 AM on December 10

Noone in the golf community benefits from any of this

I don't know. They might have a better shot at winning.

posted by bender at 09:55 AM on December 10

A lot of golf commentators are saying Tiger will lift his game in 2010 because of this scandal, touting his amazing powers of focus. But these are the same people who talked for years about how he was great because he didn't have outside distractions. So much for that idea.

I think I'm taking the under on Tiger's success next year. Every tour stop he makes will be a chance for the media to revive this story, and paparazzi will be there to dog him for the tabloids and gossip sites.

I also think his marketability is around 10 percent as valuable as it was a month ago. He's a global punchline.

posted by rcade at 10:03 AM on December 10

I also think his marketability is around 10 percent as valuable as it was a month ago. He's a global punchline.

The way I see it, this opens some new and unique sponsorship opportunities for el tigre. Ambien, Trojan condoms, high class escort services, shatter-proof glass for the back window of SUVs, adult movies, text message encryption/deletion services, etc.

posted by holden at 10:14 AM on December 10

A lot of golf commentators are saying Tiger will lift his game in 2010 because of this scandal, touting his amazing powers of focus.

The way things are progressing, who knows when in 2010 we're going to see him play.

posted by dfleming at 10:21 AM on December 10

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