04/20/24
January 10, 2009
The Hoser's NFL Postseason Picks, Week 2 2008: NFL postseason picks that are very, very concerned about Oprah's weight problems.
Welcome to The Hoser's NFL Postseason Picks, Week Two, where we're wishing now-former Boston College head coach Jeff Jagodzinski good luck with his next job interview -- at Burger King.
The Hoser nailed it last week, going a perfect four-for-four both against the spread and straight up. Why couldn't we be this eerily accurate during the regular season? Oh right, 16 games instead of four.
The Cowboys finally figured out having PacMan Jones around to average 4.5 yards per punt return and pick off exactly zero passes wasn't really worth it, cutting him loose this week. We swear to God, according to this article in the Kansas City Star, Jones said football isn't everything to him.
"I loves me some me," Jones said.
No kidding.
You might think Jones's next stop would be prison, or alcohol rehab. We can only think of one more appropriate place -- Oakland.
As always, these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as going for a cruise in the Suez Canal.
Baltimore (+2.5) at TENNESSEE -- O/U 34: We have absolutely no faith in the Titans. Do we need to say anything besides that? Ravens 20, Titans 19.
Arizona (+9.5) at CAROLINA -- O/U 48: The Panthers are undefeated at home this season, and the Cardinals are 0-5 on the East Coast. That's enough to overcome my Kurt Warner mancrush. Panthers 28, Cardinals 20.
Philadelphia (+4.5) at NY GIANTS -- O/U 40.5: Is anything scarier than a division game in the playoffs? For New York -- who has already lost to Philadelphia at home this season -- there shouldn't be. A lot depends on Brandon Jacobs, but we'll take the Iggles on the road. Philadelphia 23, New York 19.
San Diego (+6) at PITTSBURGH -- O/U 38: We're not a huge fan of the Steelers right now -- but we're also thinking Darren Sproles is not going to run through Pittsburgh the way he did the Colts. The cold weather will keep it close, though. Steelers 17, Chargers 14.
Postseason Record:
Against The Spread: 4-0
Straight Up: 4-0
It's been too long since Brenda Warner was burned into the retinas of the American sports viewing public.
Funny, I was thinking I could go a few more years without her. Her face has angles like a stealth fighter! Since I think it's going to be Chargers, Ravens, Giants, Panthers anyone who has been paying attention ought to call their bookie and bet what's left of their IRA on the Steelers, Titans, Eagles, and Cards!
posted by tahoemoj at 12:45 PM on January 10, 2009
I have a baaaaaad feeling that Warner is going to take completely torch the Panthers secondary tonight. Bad, bad feeling.
posted by NoMich at 01:51 PM on January 10, 2009
I think that the Cardinals have a legitimate chance. They had a 17-3 lead in the third quarter against the Panthers earlier only to choke it away so they've shown that they can do some damage. However, I think a large part of their success depends on if (or how well) Boldin plays.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 03:07 PM on January 10, 2009
One for one -- and looks like two-for-two against the spread, although man, I wish I had had the guts to pick the Cards. It felt too Homer for me.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:08 PM on January 10, 2009
After today it appears that teams with stupid names for their running back platoons are doomed. Which doesn't bode well for the Giants tomorrow.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:23 PM on January 10, 2009
Kudos to the Ravens but the Titans really shot themselves in the foot. Their offense had a clear advantage over the Ravens' defense, but they failed to protect the ball and that killed them.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 11:53 PM on January 10, 2009
But the Panthers will crush them like Drago.
I have to stop using that metaphor. Drago lost.
posted by rcade at 09:25 AM on January 11, 2009
So technically, you were right!
posted by tahoemoj at 01:34 PM on January 11, 2009
Can someone explain to me why the hell Giants haven't been running the ball the whole game like they are in the fourth quarter?
posted by wfrazerjr at 03:55 PM on January 11, 2009
Their offense stinks regardless of whether they are running, passing, or just handing the ball over to the Eagles (like Steve Smith just did). The remainder of the playoffs and the Super Bowl without a Manning. How will we all survive. Oh wait, they'll still be around since they're both in practically every television commercial currently running on TV.
posted by dyams at 04:19 PM on January 11, 2009
Speaking of commercials, I really don't think I've ever been sicker of any commercials as I am of those freakin' Dodge Ram truck commercials and that one bumpkin talkin' 'bout his pretty freakin' cool tool box he can put shovels and hammers and stuff in.
posted by dyams at 05:02 PM on January 11, 2009
You're just upset because your truck doesn't drive well through fire.
posted by 86 at 08:45 PM on January 11, 2009
Damn it ... okay, seven for eight. I'll take it.
posted by wfrazerjr at 08:51 PM on January 11, 2009
I kept trying to warn the Giants' fans, but they wouldn't listen. Give the warmer climes of Arizona, I love the Eagles' chances!
posted by jjzucal at 09:14 PM on January 11, 2009
The AFC need another bird team so that we can have an all-bird apocalypse in the conference finals.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:23 AM on January 12, 2009
I got a "bird" for them.
posted by dyams at 06:37 PM on January 12, 2009
I like the Ravens, Panthers, Eagles and Chargers straight up.
I don't think the Titans are as good as their record, and the Ravens were awfully tough last week. The Eagles also look like the Giants looked in the last postseason -- a team that peaked at exactly the right time.
Sentimentally, I'd like to see the long-cursed Cardinals reach the conference championship game. It's been too long since Brenda Warner was burned into the retinas of the American sports viewing public. But the Panthers will crush them like Drago.