April 03, 2007

Punctuation Matters: SportsFilter is not a chat room. Users who can't write or punctuate simple sentences will be introduced to the banhammer. If you'd like to help us draft this guideline, plz help be4 it gets ne wurs!!!!1!!!

posted by rcade to editorial policy at 10:20 AM - 137 comments

No unnecessary use of punctuation for emphasis. If you are exclaiming something, one exclamation mark will do it just as well as five. I’d suggest some wording to state a prohibition on the use of that phonetic gibberish that seems popular these days, but I don’t even know what that’s called. Yeah... No Irish and no dogs neither.

posted by JJ at 10:28 AM on April 03

I take issue with the dogs restriction.

posted by yerfatma at 10:35 AM on April 03

I think it's a bit obnoxious to have to listen to the homey's bragging up there teams like "Go Tigers" or "The Wolverines are the Tits". Give it a rest, please.

posted by texasred at 10:54 AM on April 03

Please don't ban luther. Please? I think due credit should be given to the fact that he has maintained a consistent writing style in the face of steady abuse. He generally comes in, posts one comment with his view, then leaves. He pretty much never starts or sprays gas on any fires (by my experience), and he never gets into it with the people who criticize his posting style. To me, he's like the regular at the end of the bar, exclusively to whom the rules do not apply simply because he is luther. I don't always understand him, but I like him. After that, I am all for getting rid of the AOL shorthand, the excessive punctuation, etc. I thought we already had those covered in the new rules, though, no?

posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 11:07 AM on April 03

Sousepaw, it's like fingernails on a chalkboard. Every time it happens, it makes me cringe, and for the most part I ignore it, but sometimes it gets the better of me. It is disheartening to check SpoFi every so often, and happily see the new comments, then click on them and read a four sentence comment with no punctuation. When the comment is finally deciphered, it may or may not make sense, but it's often too much work to decode. Then there's always; wie is hot end of story

posted by hawkguy at 11:14 AM on April 03

Keeping it simple, and strictly to punctuation and usage... In general, punctuation marks should be followed by a space (comma, semicolon, colon, period, question mark, exclamation point, close quote, close parentheses). Exceptions are open parentheses and open quote. Use conventional language and standard spellings, not AOLspeak or leet. Highly abbreviated text may make sense while text messaging, but it's irritating to read in a forum where the length of a message is irrelevant. Also, as an introduction (and maybe to forestall some of the inevitable bitching and moaning about how restrictive and hidebound all these stupid rules are), maybe it would be good to start with an explanation that these guidelines are intended to improve readability and thus enhance communication...and that, yes, we do understand how unconventional spelling and punctuation can be used to great effect, but you have to understand the rules before you know when it makes sense to break 'em. (Or you could just say, "Look, kids, you're not Russell Hoban," and watch them all say, "Wha who?")

posted by lil_brown_bat at 11:21 AM on April 03

Can we ban the phrase "end of story" from the site?

posted by dusted at 11:33 AM on April 03

as long as we also ban "i'm just saying" too, dusted.

posted by scully at 11:46 AM on April 03

Death to users of the Harvard Comma, as well.

posted by yerfatma at 12:08 PM on April 03

No way! Harvard comma 4-eva! Wikipedia has a great example of what happens when you abandon the serial comma: "The Times once published a description of a Peter Ustinov documentary: 'highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector.'"

posted by Venicemenace at 12:25 PM on April 03

as long as we also ban "i'm just saying" too, dusted. Death to users of the Harvard Comma, as well. Don't worry, Hawkguy. Luther has a poor advocate, as it appears I am not long for this site myself. Plus, potentially tortured, lynched, and killed. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. For the record, I also don't endorse wie is hot end of story. Maybe I should reexamine my stance.

posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 12:37 PM on April 03

Sousepaw's heartfelt plea for Luther makes me think we should add XFN friend/acquaintance/muse support like Metafilter.

posted by rcade at 12:45 PM on April 03

More like BFF support. I'm sorry not to have anything useful to contribute, but would better guidelines make a real difference here? Or is the idea people will be compelled to check out the guidelines because they will have been banned and want to know why? For all of the crap that goes on in MetaTalk, the self-policing works because the number of members who care about the community greatly outweigh the numbers who don't and the care bears enforce a clear community standard. More power to Peter Ustinov for his varied interests. The flaw with the example is the original statement is badly crafted. Mindless adherence to some grammatical ruleset would no more have saved that author from embarrassment than it would have saved my coworker who recently claimed she was no longer "beating off candidates" as the "flow" of applications had been reduced to a "trickle".

posted by yerfatma at 01:03 PM on April 03

On the sign at the Northwest Airlines boarding gates in Terminal A at Detroit: Have a boarding pass out when boarding. Everyone is prone to the occasional gaffe, I guess.

posted by Howard_T at 01:53 PM on April 03

Oh gee, look what I've missed.

posted by jerseygirl at 02:06 PM on April 03

Do you still live here?

posted by yerfatma at 02:39 PM on April 03

As opposed to...?

posted by jerseygirl at 02:46 PM on April 03

Sousepaw's heartfelt plea for Luther makes me think we should add XFN friend/acquaintance/muse support like Metafilter. Hey, look -- we need luther. Hell, I need luther. I'd be a mess without him. I'd miss him so damn much. I'd miss his laugh. I'd miss his scent. I'd miss his musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think me and luther should get an apartment together.

posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 03:31 PM on April 03

Sousepaw's heartfelt plea for Luther makes me think we should add XFN friend/acquaintance/muse support like Metafilter. We don't have the space for my muse list.

posted by YukonGold at 04:09 PM on April 03

I think, for the most part, compared to some sports sites, we do ok. However, even through we have this: • Keep the spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes to a minimum. Over use of caps, exclamation points, italics, bold, and aol-speak are discouraged. Take pride in what you are writing. Like the crafty one, I too have a soft spot for luther. His comments come throug so sincere despite an ounce of punctuation. He feels almost like... a mascot.

posted by justgary at 04:32 PM on April 03

Not knowing who the heck luther is lets me know how little I have been browsing the front page of late.

posted by gspm at 04:51 PM on April 03

As opposed to...? New Jersey perhaps. And gspm here is our good friend and king of the run on sentence, luther70.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 05:12 PM on April 03

A good editor will also clean up your adverbs. Quickly.

posted by owlhouse at 05:45 PM on April 03

I just spent 10 minutes reading luther's fine work as if he were Andy Rooney, brilliant stuff.

posted by YukonGold at 06:51 PM on April 03

Curse the admins for closing those two fine discussions about freshmen eligibility.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 07:01 PM on April 03

Curse the admins for closing those two fine discussions about freshmen eligibility. Bah, it was his first attempt at an FPP, and judging by his comments, he seems to be at least semi-coherent and has the potential to be a quality contributing member. I shot him an e-mail pointing to the guidelines and offering to answer any questions he had. I felt a little guilty about snarking in his first attempt. Atonement, and all that. I guess I've kind of forgotten how easy it is to screw up a first attempt on a website with a large, somewhat established community just to get slapped in the face repeatedly. Well, that and the boomers are retiring now and discovering the internets for the first time. If we're nice to them, maybe they can hook us up with some cheap meds.

posted by Ufez Jones at 07:07 PM on April 03

EmPHAsis on the "semi-". But I feel you. Repeatedly.

posted by yerfatma at 07:22 PM on April 03

... you trying to get me to hunt for your red october, Clancy?

posted by Ufez Jones at 07:38 PM on April 03

Like that's the first time he's heard that line.

posted by jerseygirl at 08:34 PM on April 03

In spite of growing up in a flyover state, I've long since given up being the first. I'm just hoping to be the best. Well, maybe just somewhere on the happy side of the Mendoza line. Either's fine, really, come morning.

posted by Ufez Jones at 09:04 PM on April 03

Gah...that last sentence came off much worse than I'd intended. For once, a feature I question gets fixed in a timely manner and it bites me in the ass. No offense intended there...blame the fact that both my local teams are in Cali and have 9:00 local time starts...

posted by Ufez Jones at 09:13 PM on April 03

Ufez, unless there's another ucla number out there (which is possible), I don't think it was his first attempt at a FPP, not by a long stretch. He's been putting threads like that up every once in a while for a couple of months now. Sometimes he gets a little snippy in other threads about it.

posted by chicobangs at 09:15 PM on April 03

Ufez, unless there's another ucla number out there (which is possible), I don't think it was his first attempt at a FPP Granted, I've not been around as much I used to be, but unless something has changed, the *yada yada X links posted* in each member's profile has counted deleted posts, and he has just the two at the moment. It's a bit of a moot point, though. I crafted a good template for an an e-mail that I can easily copy, edit and send to any new member that needs a bit of assistance, and I'll try to continue that so long as said n00b presents any intention of good faith and promise in the site. Nothing wrong with that, eh?

posted by Ufez Jones at 10:49 PM on April 03

/performs Crazy Ivan

posted by yerfatma at 06:18 AM on April 04

... you trying to get me to hunt for your red october, Clancy? He actually calls it his "Red Storm Rising." It's kind of creepy.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 07:02 AM on April 04

"I know what you're thinking and the answer is yes - I do have a name for my penis, it's called The Octagon." fatty's would be The Politburo. Or the Pentagon. Or the USS Fuckstick. I shamefully read most of those books. I think I stopped when one of them was dedicated to Reagan and proclaimed him an American Hero. It was either that reason or because somehow a reluctant Jack Ryan actually managed to "But I'm just an analyst!!" all the way to the Presidency with a little help from a Japanese 747 kamikaze.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 08:32 AM on April 04

Have I got this straight, Jonesy? A $40 million computer tells you you're chasing an earthquake, but you don't believe, and you come up with this on your own?

posted by YukonGold at 08:59 AM on April 04

"I actually met him once at an embassy dinner. Have you ever met Captain Ramius, General?" Like the heroes of ancient times, my member is nameless but never forgotten by those who witness its might. Once, in a fit of pique during the Patriots' Superbowl loss to Green Bay, lashing out at anyone and everyone, I suggested John Madden called his penis "Mr. Lumpy" and that it was a misshapen and ashen-looking creature of the deep.

posted by yerfatma at 09:36 AM on April 04

ew.

posted by jerseygirl at 09:57 AM on April 04

I kind of pictured Madden's to look like a turkey leg, and be named "Mr. Gobbler."

posted by hawkguy at 10:10 AM on April 04

Why were you picturing Madden's in the first place?

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 10:38 AM on April 04

We have so digressed... and it is hilarious! I'm learning not to drink and read Sportsfilter at the same time...ROFL

posted by yzelda4045 at 10:47 AM on April 04

Not to bring this on topic, but check out the Google ads.

posted by rcade at 11:24 AM on April 04

...I suggested John Madden called his penis "Mr. Lumpy" and that it was a misshapen and ashen-looking creature of the deep. The Kraken?

posted by lilnemo at 11:35 AM on April 04

I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me.

posted by Venicemenace at 11:43 AM on April 04

The Kraken? More like the fish of the Marianas Trench. The kinds of things that have never seen the light of day and evolved in very different ways to suit their needs. Their immense needs. I've no idea if it includes one of those booklights like that one fish in the book I had on fish as a little kid, but I wouldn't be surprised.

posted by yerfatma at 11:44 AM on April 04

Or the USS Fuckstick. I believe that's actually the name of the ship Bush made his "Mission Accomplished" speech on.

posted by wfrazerjr at 01:27 PM on April 04

Defective Yeti is on the case: Internet Access CAPTCHAs. We need to get this integrated into the site ASAP.

posted by dusted at 02:07 PM on April 04

Here's a thought: As part of the sign up process, they are prompted to explain why they would like to become a member in 1 paragraph. They could be accepted or denied based on their spelling, basic grammer, and how many lol's and omg's they use in that 1 paragraph.

posted by louisville_slugger at 03:37 PM on April 04

Your application has been denied based on the misspelling of "grammar."

posted by dusted at 03:55 PM on April 04

Oops, make that "basic'' spelling too.

posted by louisville_slugger at 04:02 PM on April 04

I say, we activate a week-long waiting period, during which time a crack team of SpoFites assemble at a central point, travel to the prospective member's home, and smack the shit out of him/her. Repeatedly. Then, on the way out, drop a fake Billy Packer business card. That would fucking rule.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 04:52 PM on April 04

yerfatma I am curious about one thing... are you THAT Tom Clancey? Loved "The Hunt for Red October"

posted by steelergirl at 05:04 PM on April 04

are you THAT Tom Clancey Spelling counts. Read the guidelines.

posted by YukonGold at 05:44 PM on April 04

Oops! My bad. Guess I get a -5 for spelling. That aside, Clancey or Clancy, anyone can be who ever they want on the internet, I guess. He is not my fav author, so I wasn't watching the spelling

posted by steelergirl at 07:16 PM on April 04

Are you THAT steelergirl?! I'm such a fan! *squeal!*

posted by jerseygirl at 09:15 PM on April 04

Obviously we need this for sportsfilter.

posted by justgary at 11:31 PM on April 04

See above, justgary.

posted by dusted at 11:34 PM on April 04

And I actually read the thread. I need sleep.

posted by justgary at 12:56 AM on April 05

Downtown, they call me "Clancey," but here, I'm just Ol' Crazy Tom.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 05:04 AM on April 05

Oh my god. The "NFL Banhammer" thread is turning into a scary example of SpoFi turned chatroom. I just want to state that as a sworn member of the SpoFi Grammar Fascists, I support any moves that the admins want to make against AOL-speak guerillas in our midst...

posted by Venicemenace at 12:24 PM on April 05

Umm, can I just say that any comment that begins with "Umm," or "Ah," no matter what follows, comes off as patronizing and passive aggressive as all hell? That is all.

posted by chicobangs at 01:43 PM on April 05

Ah, no you can't.

posted by jerseygirl at 02:08 PM on April 05

I find it conversational. Also - I do it all the time. Ah, Meh, Pfft. My favorite way of dismissing the opinions of those before me. Don't take it away. I use to it get chicks. But I don't score that much. I have a little dick. It's really pathetic.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 02:37 PM on April 05

Let me guess . . . you sell used cars.

posted by bperk at 02:41 PM on April 05

The vette gets 'em wet. Best line: Pair a tities make you wanna sit up and beg for buttermilk! Ass like a ten-year old boy! WOO HOO! Long weekend - here I come! (I think if anyone is guilty of using this site as a chatroom - it's most assuredly yours truly.)

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 03:03 PM on April 05

I always thought that line was pervy. I don't get it. Why would an ass like a 10-year old boy be a good thing? Have I given this too much thought?

posted by bperk at 03:22 PM on April 05

Smooth perhaps?

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 03:31 PM on April 05

Why would an ass like a 10-year old boy be a good thing? How would it be a bad thing? Buns like a muffin tin. Yours, Tom Member of the Spofi Grandma Facists

posted by yerfatma at 03:37 PM on April 05

Smooth perhaps? posted by Ying Yang Mafia *cries*

posted by justgary at 03:50 PM on April 05

We all may be going to hell, but Weedy is driving the charter bus to get us there.

posted by hawkguy at 04:01 PM on April 05

What did you guys do to luther? He is using punctuation.

posted by bperk at 04:28 PM on April 05

Is that bus stopping at a buffet on the way?

posted by YukonGold at 04:29 PM on April 05

I noticed that, and am very proud. I didn't mention it because I didn't want to embarras him.

posted by hawkguy at 04:30 PM on April 05

I'm speechless.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 04:40 PM on April 05

you animals I hope you're proud of yourselves

posted by YukonGold at 04:57 PM on April 05

Weedy's bus.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 05:33 PM on April 05

Well I have the pills and plenty of smoke for the trip but if alcohol is your high of choice BYOP (bring your own poison). Unless its a really good 20+yr single malt Scotch in which case my non-drinking self must indulge. Oh yea, as a non-chatter or chat room visitor I also agree with any elimination of chat/text shorthand shit, I'm already dyslexic and that crap really fucks with the few cells my brain has remaining.

posted by Folkways at 02:43 AM on April 06

I for one am glad he stayed Kentucky is nuts down their I have a bro who lived in lexington and when your ten year old nephew brags about walking next to tubby something is wrong just kidding the only famous person I ever walked next to is jim belushi anyhow whole other story I don't know who'll Kentucky will get but it definetely won't be their first choice and I won't wish the Wildcats any luck posted by luther70 at 9:53 AM CDT on April 6 He's Baaack!

posted by hawkguy at 10:19 AM on April 06

Someone launch an investigation into a possible security breach!

posted by YukonGold at 10:28 AM on April 06

I sense a Flowers For Algernon type of situation. There was a spasm of punctuation there for a moment before he fell back off the wagon. He's hard to read, and he's on that slippery slope that is the apparent point of this thread, but he plays with others okay, and there are cogent points in there sometimes.

posted by chicobangs at 10:51 AM on April 06

He doesn't ever interact though, does he? The ones that get to me are the people who act as though everything is Yahoo echo chamber where people post their opinion on the original post without any relation to the other comments.

posted by yerfatma at 11:44 AM on April 06

Just ban him then.

posted by jerseygirl at 12:06 PM on April 06

I sense a Flowers For Algernon type of situation. Wow...nice sixth-grade flashback there! Haven't thought of that story in years, and I had no idea it had been banned in Canada.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 02:51 PM on April 06

I for one don't want luther banned. Crafty's above statement seems right on the mark to me.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 03:37 PM on April 06

According to the Wikipedia article, Flowers for Algernon was banned by two school boards out west. It was smack in the middle of my Ontario high school curriculum.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 03:42 PM on April 06

A coworker told me that the 1968 movie was really good. I haven't seen it yet, but it's supposed to be a real tear-jerker.

posted by MrFrisby at 05:08 PM on April 06

Open ended question for the group that just came to mind at 2:20am as my clock shows: Where do assholes come from? How do you make them go away? Nobody likes an asshole to ruin their day. I wish who ever was making them would break the mold, lord knows we don’t need any more assholes. They infiltrate your parties, embarrass your guest, class has no meaning when their at best, there’s always one around even though there is no demand and I’ve never seen two assholes take the same stance. Lord knows we don’t need no more assholes. J. Hawkins "Raunchy Rodeo Club"

posted by Folkways at 02:25 AM on April 08

Everybody thinks they're doing the right thing. Everyone truly believes their opinions are those of the rational majority. Everyone means well. Even Mussolini and Dick Cheney thought they were doing the right thing. Which is why it's so hard to rehabilitate them. First, you have to convince them there's a problem in the first place. And on top of that, in case you ever forget, they're idiots, so replacing one thought with another. when they only have the one to start with, can be a bit of a trick. Just keep in mind that the human race is doomed to extinction, and this is all merely a diversion from that one incontrovertible uncomfortable truth, and you'll have a mast to tie yourself to at least when navigating the Moron Sea.

posted by chicobangs at 03:00 AM on April 08

I believe my opinions are those of the mostly (but not always) rational minority. I've got no illusions that the majority thinks as I do. John Brunner wrote a novel once ("The Stone That Never Came Down", I think) about a scientist who saved the world (from itself) with a highly contagious virus that made people a bunch smarter. It's an interesting read.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 09:24 AM on April 08

Nobody likes an asshole to ruin their day. Once upon a time, a man was out for a hike. As he walked, his body parts began to argue over who was the most important. "We are", said the legs. "How would you get anywhere without us to carry you?" The nose sniffed and said, "I am. If you stop breathing, you can't live." The body parts continued to argue among themselves, each claiming superiority. The asshole listened in silence, but soon grew tired of hearing the noise. "Actually, I am the most important," it said. The others were incredulous and ridiculed the asshole. The asshole decided to show them what he meant, so he stopped working. Soon the man started to feel uncomfortable. Then he began to have stomach aches and nausea. Finally, he was suffering from a high fever, and eventually was hospitalized. The moral of the story is that even an asshole can ruin your day if you let the noise level get too high.

posted by Howard_T at 01:10 PM on April 08

I believe my opinions are those of the mostly (but not always) rational minority. I've got no illusions that the majority thinks as I do. Oh! And here I was thinking if one were to achieve that "higher plane" we were all to memorize your (well thought out, pointed, correctly spelled and punctuated) opinions and be able to spout them verbatim LBB. Does this mean there wont be a test? all in fun lbb I hope you realize, I do value your thoughts/opinions and if we disagree on a topic its great to have someone ADULT enough to carry on a civilized debate

posted by Folkways at 01:53 PM on April 08

Hey, look, Folkways, the majority thinks that it's just fine and dandy to shop at Wal-Mart. Obviously my opinions are minority opinions, and likely to remain so, but they're very much on this plane.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 03:16 PM on April 08

Obviously my opinions are minority opinions, and likely to remain so, All the more reason to love your posts, a true breath of fresh air as compared to "why cant we all just get along" rhetoric, made from the same mold, no decent from the masses generation that is following mine.

posted by Folkways at 06:40 PM on April 08

Obviously my opinions are minority opinions, and likely to remain so Yeah, well thats like you opinion man.

posted by HATER 187 at 09:32 PM on April 08

Even Mussolini and Dick Cheney thought they were doing the right thing. So obviously the SpoFi entrance exam question should be "Why is this video considered funny? Cite specific examples and reference no fewer than three canonical humour sources."

posted by DrJohnEvans at 01:06 AM on April 09

There's going to be a grandfather clause, right? Right? Please? I mean, 'cause if there isn't, I'm going to have to dig my luggage out and pack my things.

posted by apoch at 06:46 AM on April 09

apoch, I'm sure you can rules-lawyer the question and slide by. Like, "Do you really mean, 'is considered funny,' in which case we are making a statement about the typical viewer, or do you mean, 'is funny', in which case we are making a statement abuot the material? Furthermore, given your spelling of 'humour', should we take that to mean that all three canonical sources must come from comedians from the British commonwealth? How about comedians who are just plain bad spellers?" Etc. He'll be begging for mercy in no time.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:42 AM on April 09

Emmm.

posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 09:57 AM on April 18

his email address includes the words, "irishamericanredneck" -- I think we may have set the bar too high for the telamarketer. Someone might want to talk to him. Coughcoughrcadecoughcoughgarycough.

posted by jerseygirl at 10:09 AM on April 18

People who do jump on cross-country skis should be afraid of what now?

posted by yerfatma at 10:22 AM on April 18

Sandals apparently. SummersEve. The king of piling on.

posted by SummersEve at 10:33 AM on April 18

Some days u cant telamarketer n e thing!

posted by chicobangs at 12:02 PM on April 18

Heartless corporations killing Americans? Nice

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 07:51 PM on April 18

Reedin comprehinchun misin

posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 11:41 AM on April 19

At least he read the guidelines. That is a start.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 03:42 PM on April 19

why is BornIcon ending just about every comment with a ~? Did I miss something?

posted by jerseygirl at 04:42 PM on April 19

I didn't get the memo either, jg.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 04:45 PM on April 19

I've been reading it as a wry smile, but I may be giving too much credit. Kind of loses any meaning when it's slapped on everything. Maybe it's supposed to be a Nike Swoosh©— do we have our first paid commenter?

posted by yerfatma at 04:48 PM on April 19

Maybe it's supposed to be a Nike Swoosh©— do we have our first paid commenter? Fine him $100,000.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:01 PM on April 19

Google offered me a contract, but I denied it. I'm here because of my love for the commenting.

posted by MrFrisby at 08:26 PM on April 19

Fuck it, I'm filing for free agency after the season.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 05:13 AM on April 20

BornIcon doesn't want to tell us why.

posted by jerseygirl at 07:37 AM on April 20

TBH, better hope you don't get hit with the Franchise Poster Tag. Me? I'll be lucky not to get cut after Spelling Training.

posted by apoch at 08:14 AM on April 20

Go easy on the guy. He's saving us all trips to mlb.com and Yahoo Sports.~

posted by SummersEve at 08:25 AM on April 20

Go easy on the guy. He's saving us all trips to mlb.com and Yahoo Sports.~ Oh, snap!

posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:44 AM on April 20

I shall now end all of my comments with a % to signify the percentage of shit I'm full of...

posted by hawkguy at 09:02 AM on April 20

We should come up with the a Sportsfilter University. Some of the course titles could be: L0lZ! u sck!: Why AOL speak is not allowed. The Importance of Reading Profiles: The SummersEve Story. Punctuation: It belongs at the end of every sentence. Homers: They belong in the ballpark, not as the sole substance of your comment. Common Courtesy: It's not just a rule, it's the law. SpoFi Finances 101: We are not owned by Yahoo despite what the RSS feed leads you to believe.

posted by apoch at 09:55 AM on April 20

Choosing a Username: the harrowing tales of Weedy McSmokey, jerseygirl, and bullpenpro.

posted by bperk at 10:01 AM on April 20

Hey, speaking of which, good news. My website finally passed my former profile on the Google charts. This is because somebody is spoofing my website and millions of people are learning about new ways to lose weight and get cheap meds thanks to bullpenpro.com. It's not the hate mail so much as the 700 kickback and autoreply messages an hour that bother me. I may sneak a lawsuit in before 40 yet. If anybody knows how to fix this problem, I'm all ears -- my web host doesn't really have an answer for me. Go easy on the guy. He's saving us all trips to mlb.com and Yahoo Sports.~ ROFL! I guess I can now come to Sportsfilter to see how the Yanks did last night. Sweet. Man, this site had some teeth before it turned all 40 and stuff.

posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 10:26 AM on April 20

Choosing a Username: Part I - the harrowing tales of Weedy McSmokey, jerseygirl, and bullpenpro. Part II - the misadventures of Wing Wang Mafia and outhouse.

posted by MrFrisby at 11:01 AM on April 20

At least I didn't spell my name wrong. Telamarketers!

posted by jerseygirl at 11:04 AM on April 20

At least I didn't spell my name wrong. Telamarketers! I read that, and said to myself, "That's it. The world is ending in five minutes." Then someone invited me out for prickly pear margaritas and I felt a bit better.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 12:48 PM on April 20

The world is ending? We better take precossions. I guess I better sign up for "How Not to be a Jerk".

posted by apoch at 12:56 PM on April 20

All right. I figured I better get this username before somebody beat me to the punch. To mix things up WWM will be one of the quirky users that types in sonnets and uses all italics. Just for kicks you know.

posted by Wing Wang Mafia at 07:46 PM on April 20

I'll admit it. I took the international test. And for the record, Telamarketers seems to be developing into a fine contributer.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 07:49 PM on April 20

He found time in his tight scedule and He roat a collum.

posted by SummersEve at 09:32 PM on April 20

But the collum is in English...

posted by jerseygirl at 10:48 PM on April 20

How the hell can you spell "Dwyane Wade" but still be unable to spell "additions"?

posted by lil_brown_bat at 06:52 AM on April 21

Maybe it was an accidentally correct misspelling?

posted by apoch at 07:26 AM on April 21

That 'collum' is the worst bunch of crap I have every red. The Bulld ain't not goin to beat any1. there a week team. That collum is notible to be 1 of da worstest in spofly histore.

posted by Bishop at 12:30 AM on April 22

Crap. Weres the collum he rot! I[m getin a blanc pag.

posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 10:34 AM on April 22

Hey, look at the google ads!

posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:10 AM on April 23

He's 2 for 4 in posts. Had two deleted this weekend. Are we pro or con on the Individual Playoff Game FPPs? Is it too early in the playoffs to be doing individual posts for each game, better that we hold off until the finals unless something out of the ordinary occurs? I'm not following basketball, so I wouldn't know if something extraordinary did occur. Seems like his two other threads got deleted because they were just wrapups of single games. But he did it again this morning.

posted by jerseygirl at 08:27 AM on April 23

I think the individual game FPPs are pretty pointless unless something absolutely amazing happens, like someone goes off for 70+ points or two teams combine for over 300 or some other amazing thing (and an 8 seed winning the first game of a series or the defending champs being beaten does not count as amazing). I just don't think a game summary meets the criteria of a good post.

posted by apoch at 08:33 AM on April 23

If that's the case, maybe instead of deleting it right away, rcade or gary could comment in the thread, pointing out the guidelines and that individual game FPPs are discouraged for reasons stated. At that point, just lock the thread for a couple hours, leaving it on the front page, then deleting it by the end of the day. This way, he sees why they are discouraged and is pointed in the direction of guidelines, so he doesn't repeat the mistake. He probably wouldn't know how to locate a deleted thread to see the commentary as to why it was closed. He seems to be trying, his grammar has improved a little bit and he cut out the AOL speak.

posted by jerseygirl at 08:40 AM on April 23

Is it sending a mixed message that two single-game wrapups in regular season baseball are currently sitting unchallenged on the front page? The one from Friday is particularly confusing -- at least today's mentions a record being set, albeit peripherally in a game summary.

posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 08:41 AM on April 23

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