FanDuel - WFBC

July 05, 2006

Cement Soccer Balls?: Who says soccer's not entertaining? I know I should feel sorry for those who fell for this, but the mental picture I get keeps me chuckling along.

posted by commander cody to soccer at 01:20 PM - 17 comments

These jokers should have painted signs reading "Don't kick it!" and then they wouldn't be libel, right? ;)

posted by scully at 02:17 PM on July 05

I'm all for practical jokes, but you cross a line when you set up something that can actually hurt somebody. If you've ever kicked something solid with your full strength, you know that the folks who were injured by this probably suffered at least broken toes, perhaps even broken feet. Furthermore, by setting this up randomly, the victim of your joke could be literally anyone - including kids, or old folks. I guess what I'm basically saying is "I am a big spoil sport and don't find this to be a funny practical joke." Now, if they'd made the balls out of some sort of easily burstable paper and filled them with dog poop, I would be down with that.

posted by Joey Michaels at 02:34 PM on July 05

I would pay to watch people walk by and see who goes for the big kick. If you walk down the street, see a ball TIED to a pole, with a sign that says CAN YOU KICK ME, and you do it....maybe you should be tied to the pole with a sign that just says KICK ME

posted by steelcityguy at 02:47 PM on July 05

Joey, the injuries you mentioned are just the tip of the iceberg. Serious injuries, including soft tissue damage, broken bones, even dislocations of the knee and/or hip could easily happen if you kick a soccer ball-sized hunk of cement. These two shit-for-brains could easily ruin lives with a stunt like this.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 02:49 PM on July 05

I heard about this on the Bob and Tom show this morning. My foot hurts just thinking about it. Good to hear they caught the pranksters.

posted by MrFrisby at 03:01 PM on July 05

steelcityguy: Yeah, but there are pranks you can play on people that don't result in medical emergencies. While I agree that the concept of somebody unknowingly kicking a soccer ball made out of cement has comic possibilities, the reality of the situation probably wouldn't be nearly as fun for you. Consider: You're watching the soccer ball. A seventy year old guy whose team just won their world cup match is walking down the street, sees the soccer ball and, in a fit of excitement, takes a kick at it. After all, it isn't as if the ball is going to be lost, since it is chained to the post. He's down, his foot is shattered, he's bleeding and moaning and most onlookers are horrified. Would you really be sitting in a cafe laughing at this guy's misery? I suspect you wouldn't. As I said, the concept might be humorous, but the actual execution is kind of evil and awful. This leads me back to my soccer ball filled with dog poop idea. Nobody gets hurt, everybody around the guy gets covered in dog poop, and the "joke" is essentially the same. A superior practical joke in every regard.

posted by Joey Michaels at 04:59 PM on July 05

Wow, this is way over the line. Broken feet aren't funny.

posted by afx237vi at 05:04 PM on July 05

Like I said, I know I should feel bad for the ones that fell for this, but the mental picture I get is some drunk soccer holigan staggering down the street, sees the sign and mumbles something to himself along the lines of "Oh yeah! I'll show you bloody bastards how hard I can kick it!" If this was shown in any comedy movie the audience would howl with laughter. I know this as a mean prank, but damn it it's still funny.

posted by commander cody at 05:09 PM on July 05

For the ultimate in hilarity, put some "6 FT" signs and a diving board in a wading pool that's only 18 inches deep!

posted by rcade at 05:13 PM on July 05

For the ultimate in hilarity, put some "6 FT" signs and a diving board in a wading pool that's only 18 inches deep! Now THAT would be funny! But didn't they do something like that in a Rodney Dangerfield flick already?

posted by commander cody at 05:21 PM on July 05

Yeah, those crazy drunk soccer hooligans who have been such a major feature of this World Cup that they've barely been mentioned. Speaking as someone who has fractured a toe kicking a real football that someone just happened to put their foot behind at the moment of impact, I can confirm that it's no laughing matter. The dog-do idea would have been much better.

posted by squealy at 06:07 PM on July 05

But didn't they do something like that in a Rodney Dangerfield flick already? I don't remember that, but I have seen Jerry drain a pool just in time for Tom to land head first into the concrete. I also remember Bugs swapping the pool with a glass of water for Yosemite Sam to dive into.

posted by MrFrisby at 06:23 PM on July 05

Just a thought. Wouldn't it make sense to punish them by shaving their heads, painting them like soccer balls, and chaining them to a tree next to a sign that reads, "Can you kick it?", hmmm?

posted by ctal1999 at 09:17 PM on July 05

Better yet ctal1999, At this point, you may be asking yourself, "Why am I holding this 30 pound cinder block concrete soccer ball?" You might also ask yourself, "Why does this cinder block concrete soccer ball have a long piece of string tied to it?" And finally, (dramatic pause) "Why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?"

posted by MrFrisby at 09:58 PM on July 05

kicking a cement soccer ball wouldn't be as bad as commonly thought. after all, cement is the grey powdery stuff you get in bags down at the hardware store. you want cement paste? add water. you want mortar? add sand to the cement paste. you want concrete? add aggregates (ie stones) to the mortar. I presume the news agency meant concrete. kicking a soccer ball full of cement would be more akin to kicking a soccer ball full of fine sand than kicking a rock. /a bit pedantic, but I work in the field, and can't help but notice when the wrong terms are thrown about, even by Reuters, apparently

posted by gspm at 07:32 AM on July 06

I am working right now to create a 300 pound golf ball.

posted by steelcityguy at 07:54 AM on July 06

I am working right now to create a 300 pound golf ball. Now that would be hilarious.

posted by Joey Michaels at 02:07 PM on July 06

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