June 27, 2005

Message to high school football players:: Don't tackle anybody too hard this fall. If you do, make sure your team doesn't win. Otherwise, you might be deemed a criminal.

posted by mr_crash_davis to soccer at 12:34 PM - 8 comments

This is a big win for lawyers! Pretty soon, everyone will need lawyers the moment they are born in order to protect them or at least gain compensation for them in the event of any disappointments. Wake up America!

posted by worldcup2002 at 12:41 PM on June 27, 2005

I dunno, an "altercation" sounds more like a fight than a tackle to me. Having said that, there are certainly precedents for this kind of thing in British professional football - Duncan Ferguson jailed for headbutting an opponent, Roy Keane taken to court for the tackle that "ended" Alf Inge Haaland's career - to name just two.

posted by squealy at 12:58 PM on June 27, 2005

Is there more to this than what's provided in the link? The story says the player on the receiving end of the "altercation" continued to play and was not taken to the hospital by paramedics...so what's the big deal? You step on a sports field, you expect bumps, cuts, bruises, etc. Why were the police called? Sounds like Brigham City and their supporters are a bunch of fucking pansies.

posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 01:31 PM on June 27, 2005

Ahh...good ol' U S OF A!!! I'm sure there are some missing parts in the story, but, it is the mormon state and they control everything down there. If they say it happened, IT HAPPENED.

posted by YelirNoj at 09:20 PM on June 27, 2005

The "victim" wasn't transported, and the "perpetrator" wasn't charged with assault. IOW, sounds to me like some parent got all huffy and called in the cops and EMTs, who concluded that there had been something of a ruckus but not more than that. Disorderly conduct? IANAL, but I do believe that's usually a misdemeanor; you can get tagged with disorderly conduct by walking down the street singing to your imaginary karaoke machine. Pretty predictable, though, how posting the link led to cries of lawyers under the bed...

posted by lil_brown_bat at 09:31 PM on June 27, 2005

Look, lady, I know some lawyers and I'll sure your ass for defemation of the profession if you keep that attitude up. And for the record, anyone who believes that the USA's 'sue-happy' reputation isn't deserved is living under a bed.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 09:25 AM on June 28, 2005

....a captain's bed, with X-men sheets, with a flashlight and a stash of victoria's secret catalogues under it.

posted by garfield at 10:38 AM on June 28, 2005

man fuck those cops,and that players mother.get that pussy kid off of his soccer team and into a knitting class.

posted by HOE.O.K. at 12:45 PM on June 28, 2005

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