FanDuel - WFBC

June 24, 2014

Luis Suarez Bites Opponent at World Cup: Uruguay striker Luis Suarez bit Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini during their World Cup match Tuesday, the third time in his career he's clamped down his massive choppers on an opponent during a match. A minute after the incident, Uruguay's Diego Godin headed a corner kick into the net for a 1-0 victory, sending his team into the round of 16 and knocking out Italy.

posted by rcade to soccer at 03:00 PM - 38 comments

Luis Suarez's teeth have featured in more horror stories than Dracula's. Uruguay can't help but play the bad guys.

posted by yerfatma at 01:40 PM on June 24

I'm really amused by Suarez's insistence on biting dudes.

posted by tron7 at 02:14 PM on June 24

Suarez ought to be gone for the duration. The worst part was having to watch Bob Lee anxiously smile and blink his way through the story line in the post game while foisting his annoying smooth vanilla delivery on viewers. It bugs the hell out of me when shit happens and the studio host keeps pretending he's broadcasting a commercial-free kids show as if nothing had transpired. He'd be perfect in a purple Barney costume.

posted by beaverboard at 02:16 PM on June 24

The Italians are going to find that loss difficult to swallow.

posted by tommytrump at 02:32 PM on June 24

Suarez ought to be gone for the duration.

Nothing I have seen yet proves to me that Suarez is guilty of anything except pushing his head into the Italian defender. Bob Lee and company have jumped all over Suarez's past reputation and convicted him right here on ESPN. Gee, if they say so, can FIFA be far behind? Give us some proof, other than the word of an Italian player who threw a pretty mean elbow on the same play, and I might agree. Until then I consider Lee and company the equivalent of the "Yellow Journalists" of previous eras.

Oh, by the way, if there are bite marks on the Italian, check them against Suarez's dental records. It would not surprise me if there might have been a nip or two taken in the locker room in order to prove the case.

posted by Howard_T at 02:45 PM on June 24

The apparent bite marks on Chiellini's shoulder right at the spot Suarez put his mouth down on him is proof enough for me. Suarez holding his teeth in pain around his incisor lends more credence.

There aren't any legitimate reasons I can think of to press your mouth into an opponent during physical play.

posted by rcade at 03:06 PM on June 24

Nothing I have seen yet proves to me that Suarez is guilty of anything except pushing his head into the Italian defender.

That alone is pretty questionable activity given his priors. It would be strange if Chiellini had pre-marked that specific shoulder that he immediately exposed after Suarez let up. His reaction was exactly like the victim in the original Dutch incident and the fact a different Uruguayan player came over trying to cover him back up it all look bad. And let's not forget Suarez then rolling around on the ground like Chiellini had hit him in the teeth.

Between Suarez and Godins' antics, Uruguay do seem the pantomime villains for a second straight tournament.

posted by yerfatma at 03:08 PM on June 24

Who doesn't love to grab a quick bite of Italian from time to time? Credit to Suarez's global outlook and adventurous palate in that he's now tried Dutch, Serbian and Italian. Bit Eurocentric, but still.

posted by holden at 03:33 PM on June 24

What's the rationale for giving a red card for "kicking over the ball"? Claudio Marchisio's challenge didn't seem as physically rough as some others in the match, such as Mario Balotelli going up and over a guy and earning a yellow.

posted by rcade at 03:48 PM on June 24

Anything that can break a guy's leg, basically.

posted by holden at 03:57 PM on June 24

It's ironic that Chiellini stayed down forever after phantom injuries and popped right back up after the bite. If he makes a meal out of what Suarez did, maybe the subsequent minutes turn out differently.

posted by rcade at 03:57 PM on June 24

Anything that can break a guy's leg, basically.

Just from looking at what Marchisio did, kicking over the ball doesn't seem as bad as a two-footed tackle. Does it have anything to do with him striking a plant foot?

posted by rcade at 03:58 PM on June 24

I hope Luis enjoyed his World Cup.

He claimed to have been inspired by a lack of respect against England, so he should be getting plenty of inspiration in the next few weeks.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:15 PM on June 24

What's the rationale for giving a red card for "kicking over the ball"?

"Kicking over the ball" = deliberately spiking an opponent = attempt to injure.

He made no effort to play the ball.

posted by grum@work at 04:25 PM on June 24

It's ironic that Chiellini stayed down forever after phantom injuries and popped right back up after the bite

It's soccer reality unfortunately. And it ruins the game. There is as much emphasis by players on drawing bogus calls as there is on actual play. Most especially if a team is down by a goal late in the match.

Someone ought to keep stats on individual players and teams and chart who and how many times a player goes to the ground and what the score was at the time.

posted by cixelsyd at 04:34 PM on June 24

Definitely not a bite.

posted by phaedon at 04:39 PM on June 24

If Suarez were a dog, he'd have been sent to the place from where no dogs return by now.

The weird thing about all the Suarez incidents is that the recipients all reacted the same "what the fuck?!" way. They know how to embellish an iffy tackle, but they haven't got the experience in responding to a chomp.

posted by etagloh at 04:44 PM on June 24

I had mixed feelings about that Marchisio red card but after watching it a million times on replay I think it was a good call. He lost his dribble and planted his spikes right into Arevalo's leg.

If the ref wasn't standing right there, that might've been a common foul.

posted by phaedon at 04:45 PM on June 24

"These situations happen on the field," [Suarez] said. "I had contact with his shoulder, chest against shoulder and I got a knock to the eye nothing more."

posted by Mr Bismarck at 06:59 PM on June 24

Do not think I will ever understand what would compel one to bite an opponent. I get lashing out in the heat of the moment, just not in that specific manner.

posted by holden at 07:12 PM on June 24

I hope FIFA's punishment has some teeth.

posted by grum@work at 07:39 PM on June 24

Now that I think of it, didn't someone bite Bergeron in the playoffs a couple of years back?

On edit (decided not to be so lazy and actually Googled it) -- Alex Burrows of the Canucks bit Patrice Bergeron's finger in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals 3 years ago.

posted by holden at 07:41 PM on June 24

To be fair, Bergeron stuck his finger in Burrows mouth....

posted by rumple at 08:32 PM on June 24

Oh, by the way, if there are bite marks on the Italian, check them against Suarez's dental records. It would not surprise me if there might have been a nip or two taken in the locker room in order to prove the case.

So you're purporting that every player on the Italian team bit each other in the locker room on the off-chance that Suarez might bite them? Did they do it before the game, and then again at halftime, to ensure they have fresh marks?

I just want to be clear how far the lunacy of this statement goes.

posted by dfleming at 09:10 PM on June 24

Pretty good evidence there for a suspension. Guy appears to be the Lucic of soccer.

posted by cixelsyd at 10:12 PM on June 24

FIFA's new technology has confirmed it.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:54 PM on June 24

Adidas was ahead of the curve with this ad:

posted by holden at 08:27 AM on June 25

Guy appears to be the Lucic of soccer.

Seriously? How thick is that axe?

posted by yerfatma at 08:51 AM on June 25

When they delivered Samson, the Spirit of the Lord came upon him and he broke the ropes and killed 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass.

Luis sez: "I gotta start somewhere..."

posted by beaverboard at 09:36 AM on June 25

Suarez is now taking the "blame the victim" path for his defence:

Although he did not refer specifically to the clash with Chiellini, Suarez said in a post-match interview: "These are just things that happen out on the pitch. It was just the two of us inside the area and he bumped into me with his shoulder, and that's how my eye got like this as well.

"There are things that happen on the pitch and you should not make such a big deal out of them."

Has no one showed him the video of the attack?

posted by grum@work at 10:56 AM on June 25

posted by grum@work at 10:59 AM on June 25

posted by grum@work at 11:01 AM on June 25

Suarez and chicken Chiellini had previous, according to the Independent.

posted by JJ at 11:44 AM on June 25

I have thought about this, and I have come to the conclusion that Suarez is a vampire. Amazingly, tennis player Ernests Gulbis was ahead of the curve when he recently made comments about vampires in sports.

posted by geneparmesan at 03:09 PM on June 25

posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:22 PM on June 25

Has anyone checked Suarez's previous victims to see if they have any problems with daylight? Also, have any of them placed an order for a casket and a supply of potting soil from Transylvania?

posted by Howard_T at 11:09 PM on June 25

Well, the referee in the game is known as "Dracula".

posted by yerfatma at 08:00 AM on June 26

A bit of Harry Belafonte in Belo Horizonte:

Mon-ti-vi-dayyy-o
One neck, two neck, three neck, LUNCH!
Come mister tally man, tally me bad manners
Daylight coming and me wan' go home

posted by beaverboard at 09:35 AM on June 26

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