04/19/24
April 01, 2014
Tiger Woods out of Masters after back surgery: The world's No. 1 player announced on his web site Tuesday that he will be unable to play in the Masters
Now what does CBS do with the 25% of their airtime now that Tiger isn't there?
You know what they'll fill it with:
1. Discussions about Tiger's injury.
2. Asking other players about Tiger's injury.
3. Discussions about what the masters is missing without Tiger.
4. Asking other players what they miss the most about Tiger.
5. *Sunday Only - Discuss the lack of intimidation by any member of the final 3 groups in comparison to Tiger in his red Sunday best.
6. Did the eventual champion really earn his victory without Tiger there?!?!
7. Feherty's scatological memoirs and assorted fart jokes. My favorite part
posted by tahoemoj at 06:48 PM on April 01, 2014
In TW's absence, John Madden and Howard Stern will co-host a tour of thematically appropriate food establishments along Washington Road outside the confines of Augusta National, some of them faster than others.
Including the Wife Saver, the Steak-Out, the Kinki Sushi, The Longhorn, and of course, the obligatory Chick-Fil-A and Waffle House.
Then the guys are off to view the replica of the Butler Cabin that has been erected near the koi pond on the grounds of Oracle founder Larry Ellison's estate. The cabin has been reinterpreted as a self sustaining meditative eco privy.
Finally, the members of the Augusta Women's Auxiliary will be interviewed, and they will announce this year's winner of the Dress Like You Belong Here Invitational.
posted by beaverboard at 01:42 AM on April 02, 2014
Rory has been installed as the pre-tournament favourite with the bookmakers in Europe. This may have something (or indeed, nothing) to do with the fact that the winners of the four previous majors Tiger has missed through injury were all from the island of Ireland:
2008 Open - Harrington,
2008 PGA - Harrington,
2011 US Open - Graeme McDowell,
2011 Open - Darren Clarke.
As Tiger closed out his processional win at Augusta in 1997, there was a lot of "dead air" on the BBC. There was nothing much to say as he hammered the final nails into the coffin of the tournament. I still remember Peter Alliss getting abuse in the British media afterwards for filling time then by saying (I paraphrase): "He'll win a lot of these you know, provided his body holds up. I just don't see how if he continues to swing like that he can have a career that lasts as long as we've come to expect golfers' careers to last for. I'm not trying to be a prophet of doom, what he's doing out there to the golf course is phenomenal, but I've seen a thing or two in my time and I think at some point he'll have to change his swing or spend long periods on the sidelines with injuries."
posted by JJ at 10:43 AM on April 02, 2014
The cabin has been reinterpreted as a self sustaining meditative eco privy.
4/2/14 Internetz champion.
posted by tahoemoj at 11:08 AM on April 02, 2014
Now what does CBS do with the 25% of their airtime now that Tiger isn't there?