FanDuel - WFBC

January 25, 2012

Vikings Punter Trolls Skip Bayless for Kicks: How does Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe feel about ESPN commentator Skip Bayless' idea of taking field goal kicking out of football entirely? "Hey [expletive]," he told him on Twitter. "Let's not forget you haven't done a single athletic thing in your life. Go french kiss a flamethrower." Kluwe said a lot more and followed up by telling a sports columnist what he'd like to tell Bayless on ESPN's First Take: "I hope you fall down an elevator shaft onto a burning pile of rusted AIDS needles."

posted by rcade to football at 10:44 AM - 31 comments

The bar for what constitutes trolling rather than just being a douche is remarkably low these days. (And I agree with the general sentiment towards Bayless.)

posted by feloniousmonk at 10:49 AM on January 25

I agree that Bayless is a clueless blowhard, but Kluwe's remarks are over the top.

posted by scully at 10:56 AM on January 25

Are people still sharing AIDS needles? I thought we'd educated the populace.

posted by yerfatma at 11:01 AM on January 25

People did stop sharing them, but the government decided to dispose of them in the bottom of elevator shafts. Seems to make the most sense.

posted by rocketman at 11:06 AM on January 25

People did stop sharing them, but the government decided to dispose of them in the bottom of elevator shafts.

And then set them on fire.

posted by NoMich at 11:26 AM on January 25

Bayless is an ass, but he always makes me laugh when he is on the set with Kordell Stewart. The last time i saw them argue, the conversation was about Tebow. Bayless said something along the lines of. "You dont need to be super accurate as long as you can scramble and manage the game to get to the Superbowl, Right Kordell" I was loving it. Kordell looked like he wanted to fight.

posted by Debo270 at 11:27 AM on January 25

If I had been the punter for the Vikings this year, I'd still be so depleted and exhausted and trying to get my O2 levels back up to normal that I wouldn't have the time and energy for trolling.

I don't think the Saints punter even knows who his long snapper is.

posted by beaverboard at 11:30 AM on January 25

Kordell looked like he wanted to fight.

And that is what they're looking to make ESPN2 into all morning on weekdays. They're actually planning on more Skip and more arguments. Who are the people keeping their ratings high?

posted by yerfatma at 11:37 AM on January 25

Skip Bayless was making me mad years before it was a national phenomenon. He started out as a columnist for the Dallas Morning News and Dallas Times-Herald (sigh) and then had a morning radio show on The Ticket, where he'd end each show with the cheesy signoff, "Shot clock got me!"

posted by rcade at 11:46 AM on January 25

So when I was advocating getting rid of kicking I was in agreement with Skip Bayless and no one told me? I am so mad at you guys right now. Please tell me he didn't use the same arguments I did.

posted by tron7 at 12:23 PM on January 25

Word for word. He, literally, stole it from your post.

posted by apoch at 12:51 PM on January 25

But stretched his argument out over the course of two months, discussing it daily, ad nauseum, with Stephen A. Smith.

posted by tahoemoj at 01:02 PM on January 25

tron, have you been having any black outs or time you can't account for? Maybe you are Skip.

posted by yerfatma at 01:06 PM on January 25

Since you brought up SAS, I would like to congratulate both him and the producers of ESPN's "NFL32" for being so forward-looking and busy they let him work his Blackberry while on camera. It is the stupidest thing I've seen in a month of Sundays. I get annoyed enough with people next to me doing that while I'm talking to them, now I have to watch someone do it on TV?

posted by yerfatma at 01:07 PM on January 25

Time zones being what they are, I "wake up" a couple hours after the east coast. Skip Bayless is conveniently on a morning show. I guess I can't firmly deny it.

On edit: can you imagine the horrible dreams you would have if you were Skip Bayless in your sleep?

posted by tron7 at 01:16 PM on January 25

I wish the producers of Cowherd's shows would force him to play with a blackberry so someone with some skill besides trolling would take over. I'd still avoid the show, but then I wouldn't have to listen to the stupid echo filled drops.

posted by apoch at 01:16 PM on January 25

If I had been the punter for the Vikings this year, I'd still be so depleted and exhausted and trying to get my O2 levels back up to normal that I wouldn't have the time and energy for trolling.

He's had a few weeks to rest.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 02:09 PM on January 25

I get annoyed enough with people next to me doing that while I'm talking to them, now I have to watch someone do it on TV?

It's pretty common on the hockey shows, but I don't mind so much. If it means they are getting breaking news, fine. If it means Mama Kypreos needs a quart of milk, not so great.

posted by wfrazerjr at 02:17 PM on January 25

Let's just get back to how awesome the Torpedo Punt is and how it should be added into football. Because it is awesome.

posted by Joey Michaels at 02:47 PM on January 25

People did stop sharing them, but the government decided to dispose of them in the bottom of elevator shafts.

And then set them on fire.

Was that before or after the needles rusted?

posted by BornIcon at 03:04 PM on January 25

Joey Michaels, aren't the majority of NFL punts torpedos? I thought that was one of the reasons the Aussie punters did so well, their drop punts traveled in the air differently and messed up PRs.

(Unless you're referring to Aussie Rules football, where there is a desperate shortage of booming torpedo punts. More drop kicks is what we need in the NFL with less Bayless in any form)

posted by deflated at 03:35 PM on January 25

I think it's a testament to how annoying Bayless is that I would rather watch Colin Cowherd's radio show on ESPNNews than his show on ESPN2.

posted by feloniousmonk at 03:55 PM on January 25

Skip Bayless ... had a morning radio show on The Ticket, where he'd end each show with the cheesy signoff, "Shot clock got me!"

You mean Gordon Keith is a step *up*?!

posted by Ufez Jones at 05:22 PM on January 25

deflated: I am surely showing ignorance here, but I thought American football punts tended to be standard drop punts while Australian punts... well, they're somehow more like this (thanks yerfatma for the link).

It might be the way that the punter is much more mobile in Aussie rules football, but man those are some awesome kicks right there.

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:04 PM on January 25

You mean Gordon Keith is a step *up*?!

The Great Gordo is a step above everything else on the Ticket. I was his first faxer, a distinction that's probably not as impressive to others as it is to me.

posted by rcade at 06:19 PM on January 25

Chris Kluwe is not afraid to say things, I'll give him that.

From here, and in response to Nate Jackson:

"Let's be honest here. Yes, I am a punter. Yes, I don't run routes, or zone block, or cover receivers. Apparently, though, neither did you, which is the only explanation for your total lack of statistics."

posted by Bonkers at 06:22 PM on January 25

deflated: I am surely showing ignorance here, but I thought American football punts tended to be standard drop punts while Australian punts... well, they're somehow more like this (thanks yerfatma for the link).

It might be the way that the punter is much more mobile in Aussie rules football, but man those are some awesome kicks right there.

Thanks for ruining my day with Wayne Carey's face when I clicked on that link.

In AFL, the torpedo (or "torp") is pretty rare these days, and primarily used after the siren when someone is going for goal from more than 60 metres. AFL has changed so much in recent years that almost all passing is done using the drop punt over short distances - unnecessarily kicking to a contest or giving the ball away are frowned upon by modern coaches. However, all players learn the torp (as do kicking rugby players).

I got the impression that the Aussie kickers in the NFL were favoured not because of the torp but because they could place their drop punts better and thus gain good field position. The drop punt is way more accurate.

posted by owlhouse at 08:29 PM on January 25

The drop punt is way more accurate.

What it gains in accuracy it loses in sheer awesome. I don't know what it is about the torp that seems so remarkable to me. Maybe I'm just a distance freak. I like to see things travel a long way.

And don't get me started on how much I love really long out-of-the-park home runs. I've been known to cheer when opposing team players hit really amazing ones. I'm not proud.

posted by Joey Michaels at 09:15 PM on January 25

I agree. Ben Graham gets the Cats crowd fired up.

posted by owlhouse at 09:30 PM on January 25

That is so awesome. I need to watch more Aussie football.

posted by Joey Michaels at 10:28 PM on January 25

I don't know what it is about the torp that seems so remarkable to me.

It's kicking a spiral, using your foot as the equivalent of rifling. Which is pretty cool.

(ESPN3 has two AFL games a week during the season, and a good chunk of the playoffs.)

Graham's range is exceptional, which is why he stood out to the NFL. This video with Graham when he was at the Cardinals goes into more detail -- I like his comment that if it takes 10,000 punts to master it, then footy players have done that already without knowing it. The video also makes the point that when you can drop-punt with that kind of accuracy, it gives the coverage team a lot of help. Fun to see him in AFL padding, too.

posted by etagloh at 11:45 PM on January 25

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