04/20/24
May 19, 2011
Bama Fan Faces 5 Felonies for Tree Poisoning: The Alabama fan accused of poisoning the oak trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner has been indicted by a grand jury on four felony charges and two misdemeanors Wednesday. Harvey Updyke Jr., 62, was hit with two felony counts of first-degree criminal mischief; two felony counts for unlawful damage, vandalism or theft of property from a farm animal or crop facility; and two misdemeanor counts of desecrating a venerated object. He discussed the incident on a Birmingham radio show, saying that he doesn't want to be remembered as "Harvey the tree poisoner." He added, "All my life, people have told me I cared too much about Alabama."
That last line sounds like one of those played-for-the-home-crowd sheepish shrugs, like, "oh you got me, I just love too much GO BAMA!" This guy is detestable.
posted by Hugh Janus at 01:30 PM on May 19, 2011
Yes, all it's missing is the Hulk Hogan in a sleeper hold doing the drop-the-arm-twice-but-then-revive-and-kick-ass. At this point, why not dig the hole deeper and see where you wind up? Embrace your inner heel. You clearly can.
posted by yerfatma at 02:39 PM on May 19, 2011
One of my million or so pet peeves is when people who are proud of their flaws. Work on them, don't rejoice in them.
posted by bperk at 02:41 PM on May 19, 2011
I bet he drops that line at job interviews when they ask him what his biggest flaw is.
posted by cobra! at 11:09 AM on May 20, 2011
He shall henceforth always be referred to as Harvey The Tree Poisoner.
A small bit of justice served.
posted by THX-1138 at 03:56 PM on May 20, 2011
He added, "All my life, people have told me I cared too much about Alabama."
They were right. Seek professional help.