July 25, 2010

Shaq Remains Unsigned: Shaquille "Shaq / Diesel / Big Aristotle / Big Cactus / Big Witness / Superman / Big Agave / Big Cactus / Big Shaqtus / Big Galactus / Wilt Chamberneezy / Big Baryshnikov / Real Deal / Dr. Shaq / Shaqovic" O'Neal may have priced himself out of the NBA. He remains unsigned in search of a $8 million salary and two-year deal.

posted by rcade to basketball at 11:06 AM - 9 comments

Laurent Blanc has terminated the entire French national football roster and has to rebuild from scratch prior to a mid-August friendly versus Norway...

Shraq, you just stand in the goal mouth. You don't have to run the floor or shoot free throws. You get to wear these big cool gloves. You get to point at people and yell, especially when things aren't going well.

You do have to dive left and right now and then. We'll bring in Divac to show you how it's done. There could be no better instructor.

posted by beaverboard at 11:21 AM on July 25, 2010

From what I've read, it sounds like despite his media persona, he might be a bit of cancer in the locker room. I wonder if that is the main reason for him going unsigned. You always wonder when a guy has played on more than 4 teams when he still brings valuable contributions to the team.

I read an article this morning saying he might work really well in Boston actually. Slow pace, grind it out mentality, & he would give them some needed length (could they have won game 7 last year if it was him & not Sheed guardingt the bigs? I say yes).

I seriously doubt he will retire, but I could also see him going unsigned until an injury hurts a contender.

posted by brainofdtrain at 12:24 PM on July 25, 2010

The Jazz will take him. They don't have anybody else.

posted by mr_crash_davis at 02:02 PM on July 25, 2010

The Raptors will announce his signing, Shaq will tweet that he's going to be known as The Big Smoke, in The Big Smoke, and then someone will cancel the deal for reasons never fully disclosed.

posted by tommybiden at 02:08 PM on July 25, 2010

I heard he was moving to Detroit, and changing his name to the Big Unemployed...

posted by MeatSaber at 02:21 PM on July 25, 2010

I'd hate to see Shaq stumbling along the floor, doddering to the bench, and falling asleep during time outs. Why not retire when you still have a shred of digniity and your skills aren't completely gone?

posted by irunfromclones at 04:30 PM on July 25, 2010

hey shaq, head back where it all started, Orlando, 2 supermen on one squad, the magic! ShaZam!!!!

posted by mayerkyl at 11:00 PM on July 25, 2010

I'd hate to see Shaq stumbling along the floor, doddering to the bench, and falling asleep during time outs. Why not retire when you still have a shred of digniity and your skills aren't completely gone?

Because he's a big admirer of Hakeen Olajuwon?

posted by grum@work at 12:28 PM on July 26, 2010

If he's going to wear socks like that, shouldn't he be walking along the beach with a metal detector ?

posted by tommybiden at 12:46 PM on July 26, 2010

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