June 01, 2010

Your Official Guide to Hating the Celtics: Contains the gem, "Pierce's idea of a fun night is going clubbing and getting stabbed. Good times!" which has supposedly been redacted from the versions published elsewhere, but still lives on KTLA's website. The author explains the fun of it all.

posted by yerfatma to basketball at 08:16 AM - 20 comments

I was terribly confused to see people complaining about Ted Green's guide to hating Boston.

posted by yerfatma at 08:16 AM on June 01, 2010

"Pierce's idea of a fun night is going clubbing and getting stabbed. Good times!"

This would be opposed to Kobe's idea of a fun night raping hotel employees or Ron Artest's of punching fans in the stands?

posted by Demophon at 08:43 AM on June 01, 2010

You know, at some of the finer clubs, you have to pay extra to get stabbed. So, yeah, Pierce definitely wanted to get stuck eight times his first month in town.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 09:40 AM on June 01, 2010

Where is my guide to hating the Lakers?

posted by apoch at 10:08 AM on June 01, 2010

Amen apoch. Where's my guide to hating not only the Lakers, but: the town, the fans, the coach, the fair weather celebs looking for more face time with a camera.... Go Celts!

posted by Tinman at 10:44 AM on June 01, 2010

No guide needed for Laker haters. You can replay the 2004 Finals and watch them turn to sand in the face of a team of grown men. More satisfying to see them humbled and miserable than to just hate on them.

Odom says he can't let his wife attend the games in Boston. Course not. Those seats are expensive. If it were me, I wouldn't want to have to buy two of 'em either.

posted by beaverboard at 11:28 AM on June 01, 2010

Gonna be a lot of waaaaahmulances needed for this "championship".

posted by lil_brown_bat at 12:04 PM on June 01, 2010

What's with the quote marks -- is the NBA Finals not a championship? Should it be decided by AP voters?

Because if so, the Mavericks deserve consideration for any title not decided on the court.

posted by rcade at 12:46 PM on June 01, 2010

What's with the quote marks

It's for the sideshow, rcade, not for the official main event. Forget that basketball stuff, that's not the contest that really matters.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 02:04 PM on June 01, 2010

More satisfying to see them humbled and miserable than to just hate on them.

That's why I'm reserving my comments for two weeks from now (more or else).

And LBB is right. This post is a sideshow.

posted by cjets at 02:32 PM on June 01, 2010

Phil Jackson is further fueling the sideshow today with choice remarks.

He had a bit to say about fouling. It's good to have timely commentary on that topic from the man who co-led the NBA in personal fouls in the mid 70's.

Phil is easy to dislike but I give him a pass because he went to Albany to start his North American pro coaching career.

To go to Albany means you're serious about being in the coaching profession.

And willing to do whatever it takes to forge a career in the ranks.

The league championship he brought home with the Patroons may be the best thing that ever happened to that area.

posted by beaverboard at 03:00 PM on June 01, 2010

Forget that basketball stuff, that's not the contest that really matters.

I hate all that stuff. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for Tivo.

posted by rcade at 03:31 PM on June 01, 2010

The Phil circus rears it's ugly head as it does before every series his team plays in .... attempting to plant a seed in the official's minds but at the same time disclosing where he feels his team's weaknesses are.

I'm sure the Lakers will get more than their fair share of calls (especially at home), but they'd be the clear beneficiaries of a tightly called series. Gasol is a key but is completely ineffective in physical contests.

posted by cixelsyd at 03:39 PM on June 01, 2010

I think that for a championship game they should import refs from the farthest corners of the globe that know the rules but not the players. That way, an opposing player doesn't get a foul for merely touching Kobe because he's a Superstar.

I know this is stating the obvious, but no matter how much they may vehemently deny it, the refs in this league show a marked deference to the superstars. This gives the lakers a decided advantage that in a playoff series can mean the difference between winning or losing.

The Celtics either have to get so stealthy in how they guard Kobe, or they need a throw away goon from the bench that will guard Kobe, and whose fouling out won't impact the team.

posted by irunfromclones at 04:01 PM on June 01, 2010

Is this the official NBA guide? The official LA Lakers guide? I am curious who certifies these official guides to hating things. If I am going to take advice on how to hate, I want to make sure that the body that declares it official is one whose hatred I respect.

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:46 PM on June 01, 2010

I think that for a championship game they should import refs from the farthest corners of the globe that know the rules but not the players. That way, an opposing player doesn't get a foul for merely touching Kobe because he's a Superstar.

I know this is stating the obvious, but no matter how much they may vehemently deny it, the refs in this league show a marked deference to the superstars. This gives the lakers a decided advantage that in a playoff series can mean the difference between winning or losing.

The Celtics either have to get so stealthy in how they guard Kobe, or they need a throw away goon from the bench that will guard Kobe, and whose fouling out won't impact the team.

posted by irunfromclones at 04:01 PM on June 01 -------------------- Could not agree with you more. The Refs will do everything in their power to give this series to LA. They Tried to give the Boston Cavs series to the Cavs but the Celts overcame the Refs bad calls. They will have to do the same here. Refs need to call it by the books. No bogus calls. Call Traveling for what it is by the rules. Non of this 4 and 5 steps with out dribbling.

posted by twgibsr at 08:13 PM on June 01, 2010

the refs in this league show a marked deference to the superstars.

I don't disagree with that. But are you really saying that the Celtics lack superstars? KG, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen (otherwise known as the big three) and an up and coming Rajon Rondo (on the cover of SI) aren't superstars?

The Refs will do everything in their power to give this series to LA.

Glad to see you've got your excuses all worked out in advance. So it's win win for you.

posted by cjets at 08:28 PM on June 01, 2010

" ... Rajon Rondo (on the cover of SI) ..."

Goodbye, Celtics -- The Jinx lives on.

As for this Sixer fan, I'm still getting over my hatred of Kevin McWail and Larry Turd. Then there's "Havliyeck (Yeck!) steals it! Havliyeck stole the ball!" Some things are hard to let go.

posted by jjzucal at 10:01 PM on June 01, 2010

Holy shit - twgibsr and irunfromclones - it hasn't even started yet and you guys are already complaining about the calls? Like the NBA is out to get Boston. Aren't you like 7-2 against the Lakers in the finals? Get the whaaaaaambulance out!

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 11:26 PM on June 01, 2010

KG, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen (otherwise known as the big three) and an up and coming Rajon Rondo (on the cover of SI) aren't superstars

They are, but none of them come close to Kobe's superstardom.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 02:59 PM on June 02, 2010

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