June 17, 2009

Onion: Gymnast Put to Sleep After Breaking Leg: In an entirely fake video segment produced by The Onion, the fake parents of real gymnast Shawn Johnson described how she suffered a fake leg injury and had to be euthanized. Note: This story is fake. "At this time there will be no comment from Shawn or her parents about the video," her real publicist responded.

posted by rcade to olympics at 03:00 PM - 40 comments

Oh, I really hope that people aren't offended by that. Johnson's friend who commented that it was rude should probably relax a bit. I don't see any way to construe that as mean-spirited toward Johnson at all. I'd bet that if she was invited to host SNL, she'd think the segment was funny as hell, were she a participant.

posted by tahoemoj at 03:36 PM on June 17, 2009

Mean spirited? Clearly people are missing the point. That being the comparison between horses and athletes, but then I didn't need to tell you smart people that.

posted by Drood at 04:10 PM on June 17, 2009

I don't think the joke's mean-spirited, but it's putting a lot of "Shawn Johnson dead" and "Shawn Johnson RIP" headlines, blog posts and Twitter messages out there, which is an easily foreseeable circumstance. The Onion probably should have found a gymnast willing to be used in that gag rather than springing it on somebody.

posted by rcade at 04:20 PM on June 17, 2009

I also remember it like it was yesterday when Debbie Thomas had to be put down after her injury. I think we all know where we were that day.

Interesting to note some of the other "athletes" that had to be euthanized after career-ending injuries:

Jose Canseco after suffering inoperable brain damage from a missed fly ball that bounced off his head for a home run.

Fuzzy Zoeller put down after lodging his entire ass in his mouth after a famous Tiger Woods victory at the Masters.

John Holmes euthanized after suffering the most horrific groin pull in the history of mankind.

posted by THX-1138 at 04:21 PM on June 17, 2009

Anyone who blogs or tweets in 2009 and doesn't know that the Onion is humor (or recognize the video as such) does not deserve to own a computer, smartphone or internet-connected refrigerator.

posted by billsaysthis at 04:39 PM on June 17, 2009

Anyone who blogs or tweets in 2009 and doesn't know that the Onion is humor (or recognize the video as such) does not deserve to own a computer, smartphone or internet-connected refrigerator.

You assume people actually read the source. As a quasi-teacher, I can tell you first hand they don't.

posted by jmd82 at 04:59 PM on June 17, 2009

And that's how kids learn not to be stupid and believe everything they read. I say, no foul. Keep it up.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 06:30 PM on June 17, 2009

Or that's how kids learn to spread incorrect information, then never correct the bullshit they spread. In other words, I don't expect a lot of kids to be sending out, "Oh, she's NOT dead -- it wuz just the Onyon! LOL11!!ROFL!" Tweets.

To me, it's a moderately funny premise which would have been just as well done with a generic name. It seems a little harsh to tie a 17-year-old to something like this.

I like The Onion, but everybody fucks up sometime. This is The Onion's time.

posted by wfrazerjr at 07:35 PM on June 17, 2009

Good grief, anyone that watches that video and doesn't realize that it's satire, deserves to be put down themselves.

I suppose if we're going to get all politically correct they probably could have used a ficticious gymnast, but what fun would that have been? I have a minor concern about her being a minor, but given that she's a celebrity as much as an athlete, I'll get over it.

posted by dviking at 11:56 PM on June 17, 2009

Politically correct? How about not being attention whores?

The only reason those used Johnson here is because she's a readily recognizable name, not because it made the bit any funnier. Couple that with her being 17 and that The Onion knows there are plenty of people who can't differentiate between satire and news.

The Onion knew using Johnson would get them all sorts of free publicity. Did it work? Yes, but it was also in poor taste. I'll be sending them their free t-shirts shortly:

Photobucket

posted by wfrazerjr at 08:58 AM on June 18, 2009

Americans don't understand satire. That why modern TV is the way it is.

If you don't explain the joke, it isn't funny to them.

posted by The_Special_Juan at 11:02 AM on June 18, 2009

Oooh! I want a free t-shirt! Stop yelling at each other long enough to look at me!

posted by THX-1138 at 02:23 PM on June 18, 2009

People often get Shawn Johnson and Shannon Miller confused, for some reason. Shawn, Shannon, gymnastics...there you go.

If the headline had read: "Shannon Miller Put to Leg After Breaking Sleep", that would have created a whole hell of a lot of excitement in a completely different way.

posted by beaverboard at 04:02 PM on June 18, 2009

I found the video to be very funny. I can't see how people would take it seriously but maybe I put too much faith in the average American's intelligence.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 05:42 PM on June 18, 2009

of course they used Johnson because she has a recognizable name. To use any other gymnast would have caused the viewer to go "who?" and the joke would have been lost.

So, yes, the joke is funnier using Johnson, in fact, it's only funny if you use Johnson.

It also makes it easier to detect as satire, at least it should.
Clearly, a top gymnast, and a celebrity (such as she is) would not be put down due to a broken leg. An unknown...maybe?

As to the Onion being attention whores, well yes, their mission is to get viewers. They're not running a news site, they make their money selling advertising, so the more attention they get, the more money the make. Kind of the point.

posted by dviking at 07:12 PM on June 18, 2009

Stop fighting! Stop fighting!

Look at me! I'm jumping up and down and spinning in circles! I can make you laugh! Just stop fighting!

(OK, I just want the t-shirt)

posted by THX-1138 at 07:36 PM on June 18, 2009

I'm really surprised they put her down right away. You would think they could tie a board to her leg and put her out to pasture ... let her breed. Maybe after she pumps out a couple kids you could decide. But doing it right away was wrong.

posted by smithnyiu at 08:26 PM on June 18, 2009

maybe with a male you could put them out to stud, with a female your options aren't as good. A pregnant gymnast with a gimp leg is something no one wants to see.

posted by dviking at 09:10 PM on June 18, 2009

Sigh.

So, because you got a chuckle out of it, it's okay?

Look, we're not talking about fucking Newt Gingrich here. We're talking about a 17-year-old gymnast. She didn't do anything to bring this on herself -- The Onion just decided, "Hey, here's a great way to get some publicity for ourselves, and if some people think she's dead, well, who cares?"

It doesn't appear her family thought it was very funny, and I wouldn't be surprised if a couple people who are related or know Johnson heard she was dead. Hey, that's hilarious!

So, yes, the joke is funnier using Johnson, in fact, it's only funny if you use Johnson. As to the Onion being attention whores, well yes, their mission is to get viewers. They're not running a news site, they make their money selling advertising, so the more attention they get, the more money the make. Kind of the point.

You're absolutely right. It's only funny if you trade on Johnson's name. Hence the attention whore label, which means they went beyond what was acceptable and traded in some of The Onion's good name seeking publicity. They stepped across a line here.

Americans don't understand satire. That why modern TV is the way it is. If you don't explain the joke, it isn't funny to them.

I guess the same thing goes for people not seeing what's really tasteless.

If you're making the point that because it was obviously satirical, it's okay to use Johnson in such a fashion (and portray her parents with actors talking about killing her), I understand. I'd just rather be on the "I find that offensive" side as opposed to in the "Hey, that's really funny!" camp.

posted by wfrazerjr at 11:24 AM on June 19, 2009

I don't know. I guess if there'd been a history there of killing gymnasts when they get injured, it might be a sensitive subject. To me, it's just so obviously silly that it really has no power to offend.

posted by tahoemoj at 11:38 AM on June 19, 2009

fraze, some times I try to figure out what is ok with you and what is not but then I stop because I think it will rip the multiverse apart.

posted by yerfatma at 01:00 PM on June 19, 2009

The joke's funnier with a real gymnast, but I disagree that it wouldn't have been funny with a fake one. I don't follow gymnastics, so Johnson might as well have been fake when I watched it.

posted by rcade at 01:41 PM on June 19, 2009

Without putting too fine a point on all this:

If somebody saw this Onion bit and took it seriously for one moment then they are a fucking moron.

Yes it was tasteless. That is what the Onion does. It's OK for someone to get offended by it as that is also the point. But I would challenge anyone to come up with some evidence of damage caused by this. Oh yes, the relatives may throw up their arms, aghast that someone took liberties with the image of their precious darling. But I doubt that her gymnastics career will be over. More than likely I'll bet that she just got a publicity shot in the arm. She can't be a gymnast forever and one of the better ways to turn her athletic success into an actual bankable future is to keep her name in the spotlight for as long as she can. Bear in mind SHE didn't do anything to herself so she doesn't even look like the bad guy. And be reasonable. The Onion didn't post photoshopped nude pictures of her. They made a comparative type joke to the way race-horses are treated and the way in some twisted reality an athlete could be treated.

If you wanted to actually put a fine point on it all, you could say that the Onion was actually trying to put a smart satirical spin on what society does with some pro athletes when their time in action is finished. Let's just not make more of this than there is.

posted by THX-1138 at 01:47 PM on June 19, 2009

Glad to know that I'm not alone in my thoughts on this.

Keep in mind that Johnson is a bit of an attention whore herself (apologize for using the word whore in relation to a 17 year old girl, I'd be pissed if anyone used it about my 18 year old daughter, I however did not start the use of the word). Just Google her and see how often she's getting her name and face in the news.

She's trying to capitalize on her fame in order to make as much money as she can. She's fully aware that her window of opportunity is short and I'm all for her making every dollar she can. However, when a person puts themselves in the spotlight, they have to understand that the lights can be very hot at times. All celebrities deal with this, and she will as well.

posted by dviking at 02:11 PM on June 19, 2009

Wait, it was a joke?

posted by smithnyiu at 02:13 PM on June 19, 2009

I bet the t-shirt isn't real either.

posted by THX-1138 at 02:16 PM on June 19, 2009

THX, I generally don't find The Onion tasteless. I think it's pretty smart and well done, but using a minor in a situation like this? In my mind, a bad call on their part.

All celebrities deal with this, dviking, so that makes it okay? She's 17, man, and has done absolutely nothing to bring this on herself, even if it's not directly impuning her character. You want to use Mike Tyson or Tonya Harding? Knock yourself out. Using Johnson is cheap and tasteless, at least in my book.

To me it's more of the "Hey, they're famous, so fuck them right in the ear" mentality. The girl's a world-class athlete and she's been on "Dancing With The Stars," so she deserves whatever someone else wants to throw at her? Would it

Fraze, some times I try to figure out what is ok with you and what is not but then I stop because I think it will rip the multiverse apart.

I'm a complex man, yerfatma. I don't envy your pondering.

In general?

1) Don't fuck with people who don't bring it on themselves. 2) Punish people who break the law and punish them severely. 3) Get extra cheese on everything you humanly can.

posted by wfrazerjr at 08:45 PM on June 19, 2009

FYI...I'm about to show this video at a party...I will take a poll of how many found it acceptable and how many didn't

posted by dviking at 09:16 PM on June 19, 2009

D, I'm guessing about 5% of people will feel the way I do.

Which either means I'm overly sensitive or all y'all are heathens.

posted by wfrazerjr at 01:57 AM on June 20, 2009

actually, you got about 15%. Now, I found out that one couple has a daughter involved with gymnastics on a fairly high level...she attends a private school that is geared towards gymnastics. A few thought it should have a disclaimer. (I don't think they knew what the Onion is) The rest thought it was funny.

posted by dviking at 08:58 AM on June 20, 2009

FYI...I'm about to show this video at a party...I will take a poll of how many found it acceptable and how many didn't

I did that with the Paris Hilton video. Awkward!

posted by rcade at 12:10 PM on June 20, 2009

I had a party also. I asked the people their opinion and she thought it was funny. So that's 100% here. She was also paid to, well, laugh, so that might be considered misleading data. Coincidentally I think she was a gymnast at some point in her life. I really do.

posted by smithnyiu at 12:54 PM on June 20, 2009

So, because you got a chuckle out of it, it's okay?

And, because you didn't, it's not?

posted by The_Black_Hand at 04:14 PM on June 20, 2009

And, because you didn't, it's not?

Yes, because I'm taking the side of decency and restraint. I'd find it hard to believe someone at The Onion didn't see this happening to some extent and thought, "Fuck 17-year-old Shawn Johnson. It's more important for us to get a cheap laugh by trading on a minor's name."

By the way, I don't think you can't find this distasteful and funny at the same time. I'm not saying it's completely without humour -- it isn't. It just shouldn't have been done.

posted by wfrazerjr at 10:44 PM on June 20, 2009

Ah well, after reading all these wounderfull points of view I will side with fraze on this one, simply because she is a minor under the law of the good 'ol USofA. If ya cant buy a beer then TheOnion (or anyone else for that matter) should show a wee~bit more restraint.

posted by Folkways at 08:01 PM on June 21, 2009

I laughed because it's true: teenage gymnasts are exploited and then disposed of, just like racehorses. Though I can also see why others might not find that truth so humorous.

posted by Hugh Janus at 12:59 PM on June 22, 2009

I think it's more telling that some people believed that 17 year-old gymnasts are put down after breaking their legs. Frankly, if I have to factor in these people then I'm giving up on this planet. They're sucking all the fun out of being semi-intelligent.... Moderately intelligent?... Ok, occassionally intelligent... Fine - occassionally not dumb.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 07:14 PM on June 22, 2009

1. I don't get the age thing. If she was 12, 14, 15, Okay. But 17? In half a year she'll be able to do anything she wants, with the exception of drinking. I don't believe on that magical day she turns 18 something happens and suddenly she's fair game. It's seems almost comical.

2. I'd have more sympathy if she was still just an athlete. She's not. She's been everywhere since the olympics trying to keep her name in the public eye. That's fine. I still see Mary Lou Retton in infomercials. If she wants to be a celebrity she's going to have to deal with negativity, whether she creates it or not. That's celebrity, taking the good with the bad. Might as well get use to it.

3. I am, in fact, a heathen.

Now, I found out that one couple has a daughter involved with gymnastics on a fairly high level...she attends a private school that is geared towards gymnastics.

And if the onion used her, I'd find it over the line. As soon as she's on Dancing with the Stars and making red carpet trips at the MTV music awards I'd be fine with it.

posted by justgary at 09:42 PM on June 22, 2009

I agree that they should have gotten her OK before using her in the gag.

But as we talk about protecting her because of her age, it makes me wonder. What's potentially harder on a minor -- comedic mockery or the rigors of high-level athletic competition? What age do they start putting young female gymnasts through the Olympic sausage press -- 12?

posted by rcade at 10:12 PM on June 22, 2009

What age do they start putting young female gymnasts through the Olympic sausage press -- 12?

While 12 is correct, I demand you apologize to Bla Krolyi for referring to him like that.

posted by yerfatma at 05:07 PM on June 25, 2009

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