September 14, 2003

EPL Fantasy League Week 5 (September), pending Leicester : Leeds. Our own StarFucker breaks the top thousand; catfish changes his team name, and takes tentative top gameweek honors; kWaCkY hits the panic button; and the entire world learns to cope with Carragher's broken leg.

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 11:25 PM - 45 comments

Try this hindrance on for size:

Overall
  Team  Manager 
 1  Blammos!  Star Unsuitable  49  825  260 
 2  The Bog Bandits  Fat Buddha  47  4,328  242 
 3  Crap City United  g s p m  55  6,467  236 
 4  37 Push Ups  Corpse R. Christ  42  15,891  221 
 5  Mossy Athletic  Emad Mostaque  46  21,690  215 
 6  Bosiak Bashers  joe bieda  32  25,202  211 
 7  BillSaysThisSCORES!!  Bill Lazar  44  27,441  209 
 7  Rings of Saturn  David Hansen  32  27,539  209 
 9  Ardley Athletic  Squealy Neily  45  30,939  206 
 10  cutters  mbd1 mbd1  43  33,869  203 
 11  bluebears  andy griffiths  51  36,019  201 
 12  Terrapin Utd  Rick Scully  37  40,959  197 
 13  Bayern Mucus  Danny The Taupe  50  46,050  193 
 14  Red Dragons  worldcup 2002  39  49,587  190 
 15  last again  eckeric eckeric  37  52,544  187 
 16  SilentInTheMorning  pful ler  46  54,863  185 
 17  Salmacis FC  Huw Morris  51  56,166  184 
 18  Deadly Calm  Big Calm  45  58,741  182 
 19  Atlanta Untitled  Tim Truxell  40  63,226  178 
 20  Generals F.C.  Noah Egorin  49  66,711  175 
 21  Kwacky's Kwitters  richard looker  39  69,071  173 
 22  Sporting Goats  Eliot Shepard  51  70,353  171 
 23  fascist bully boys  Ufez Jones  44  80,899  161 
 24  FC Cacahuate  skronk _  40  83,069  159 
 25  vagabonds  christopher f  16  60  87,460  154 
 26  sauril  Mark D  38  91,811  148 
 27  Nemo's Dreamers  lil nemo  35  99,113  136 
 28  Trendelmaniacs  t trendel  12  101,633  130 
 29  AVZ Thundering Herd  usf bull  20  102,745  128 
 30  tallclay  Clay H  49  123,210  52 
 
September
  Team  Manager 
 1  vagabonds  christopher f  60  3,815  60 
 2  Crap City United  g s p m  55  10,143  55 
 3  Salmacis FC  Huw Morris  51  19,525  51 
 3  bluebears  andy griffiths  51  19,525  51 
 3  Sporting Goats  Eliot Shepard  51  19,525  51 
 6  Bayern Mucus  Danny The Taupe  50  22,627  50 
 7  Blammos!  Star Unsuitable  49  25,996  49 
 7  Generals F.C.  Noah Egorin  49  25,996  49 
 7  tallclay  Clay H  49  25,996  49 
 10  The Bog Bandits  Fat Buddha  47  33,470  47 
 11  SilentInTheMorning  pful ler  46  37,492  46 
 11  Mossy Athletic  Emad Mostaque  46  47,492  46 
 13  Ardley Athletic  Squealy Neily  45  41,862  45 
 13  Deadly Calm  Big Calm  45  41,862  45 
 15  fascist bully boys  Ufez Jones  44  46,520  44 
 15  BillSaysThisSCORES!!  Bill Lazar  44  46,520  44 
 17  cutters  mbd1 mbd1  43  51,415  43 
 18  37 Push Ups  Corpse R. Christ  40  00,000  40 
 19  Atlanta Untitled  Tim Truxell  40  66,364  40 
 19  FC Cacahuate  skronk _  40  66,364  40 
 21  Red Dragons  worldcup 2002  39  75,905  39 
 22  sauril  Mark D  38  76,220  38 
 23  last again  eckeric eckeric  37  81,089  37 
 23  Terrapin Utd  Rick Scully  37  81,089  37 
 25  Nemo's Dreamers  lil nemo  35  90,781  35 
 26  Bosiak Bashers  joe bieda  32  103,241  32 
 26  Rings of Saturn  David Hansen  32  103,241  32 
 28  AVZ Thundering Herd  usf bull  20  131,803  20 
 29  Kwacky's Kwitters  richard looker  39  00,000  19 
 30  Trendelmaniacs  t trendel  12  137,183  12 

posted by taupe at 11:40 PM on September 14, 2003

I hope he keeps form and place because I traded Viduka for Mutu. Plus put Riise back in the starting lineup for next weekend.

posted by billsaysthis at 11:49 PM on September 14, 2003

Nice stuff, Mr taupe. I expect there should be a little shuffle after the Leeds v Leicester game, but mostly from the auto-substitutions occurring rather than points derived from players in the game. A disappointing week for my team. I'm looking forward to the yahoo update. btw, catfish's (vagabonds) transfer gamble has already begun to pay off. Nice job.

posted by worldcup2002 at 12:48 AM on September 15, 2003

Speak for yourself wc2002. I'm banking on Pennant grabbing another ten point haul tonight. It would be nice if that idiot Micky Adams would pick Craig Hignett too. I was hampered by injuries, suspensions and crap players as usual. A football manager's lot is not a happy one.

posted by squealy at 05:42 AM on September 15, 2003

Great tables taupe! ...and the entire world learns to cope with Carragher's broken leg. Say what?

posted by StarFucker at 09:18 AM on September 15, 2003

HEy! The yahoo points are being updated (at least on the individual level) and I've already scored about 65 points. I'm moving up this week! What about you?

posted by worldcup2002 at 09:56 AM on September 15, 2003

I already have more than 65!

posted by StarFucker at 11:31 AM on September 15, 2003

Oops, nevermind...i only got 63. But i moved up a place! And i have Viduka playing tonight!

posted by StarFucker at 11:35 AM on September 15, 2003

I have Smith. I hope that nut scores.

posted by worldcup2002 at 12:07 PM on September 15, 2003

He is a nut... But i like him too...

posted by StarFucker at 12:24 PM on September 15, 2003

Leeds is lost. 2-0 down by half-time, only 8 shots on goal to Leicester's 17 (up to the 81st minute). Looks like the score is going to hold.

posted by worldcup2002 at 03:45 PM on September 15, 2003

4-0. Ouch. Pennant got a couple of points so I don't mind much..

posted by Mossy at 04:17 PM on September 15, 2003

Good thing I didn't have Paul Robinson. Poor chap. He'll probably go to Arsenal when Leeds are relegated this season.

posted by worldcup2002 at 04:36 PM on September 15, 2003

Leeds will be just fine... Just a blip on what will be a fine season i'm sure. There were many new faces in the lineup today.

posted by StarFucker at 05:00 PM on September 15, 2003

Woot! Muzzy is it! etrader9 wins the week with 71, on the backs of Dickov and captain (!) Scowcroft. Your humble updater will be second on 63, and stoked going into his first job interview in forever. Bill and the new Clay H had good weeks. I'm not posting another table, because that first one takes long enough to load on dialup, and because the links above (here they are again: overall, September) will always point to current results.

posted by taupe at 05:27 PM on September 15, 2003

FB, you signed a Viler. I'm shocked and a little disillusioned.

posted by squealy at 06:53 PM on September 15, 2003

Mate I had to, he was the only bloke I could afford who might actually play a game; as he is only a sub I was hoping no one would notice. Ironically I had to sign him because bloody Hignett was never getting a game, then he got picked last night. I had never actually heard of the bloke until I was looking for a Hignett replacement. Would you believe me if I said I didn't even know he played for Villa; I just went down the list of players at that price and signed someone who had a few points? Oh fuck it. Just kill me.

posted by Fat Buddha at 02:31 AM on September 16, 2003

squealy: You've got Barry in your team? I've thankfully managed to stay Birmingham City free, but I have been tempted with all the points your defenders have been picking up. Normal service will be resumed soon.

posted by BigCalm at 03:05 AM on September 16, 2003

Nah, I'm not buying that FB, unless you're claiming to be colour blind and unable to comprehend what AV stands for. Here's me trying to gradually shift the bastards out of my team and you're signing them up. I kept the faith with Hignett and was rewarded with a mighty 4 points despite the fact he was only my second choice sub. I'm feeling both smug and self-satisfied to go with my hangover. Clammy - yeah I got Barry. I also had Mellberg to start off with. That situation is being gradually rectified, but I'm loathe to spend any more points on transfers to speed the process up. I don't know what came over me. I was trying to pick what I considered to be the best VFM team in an unemotional manner. Clearly that was stupid as it been ruining my enjoyment of your mediocre start to the season.

posted by squealy at 03:10 AM on September 16, 2003

Squealy, stop squirming you chuffer. The truth is you are a disloyal sonofabitch, and you are only changing because the players you picked are crap. I have a cunning plan, but I ain't wasting any more points on unneccessary transfers, and getting rid of the Viler ain't a prority. Love and War and all that.

posted by Fat Buddha at 05:42 AM on September 16, 2003

I have been sooooo tempted to switch players. Especially now that Berger is out. There are several overpriced players who are not performing (Savage!) and players on the market who are totally underpriced for their points haul (Scowcroft!). But I'm not going to do a catfish. Four points a transfer is too much, especially with precarious position and meager points. I'm more like conserve-cash Charlton than cha-ching Chelsea. Like da Buddha, I'll have to make my transfers one week at a time. Until I start raking in the points.

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:29 PM on September 16, 2003

I did say before the season began that Savage is not the man to have in a fantasy team, you should have taken note, old chap.

posted by Fat Buddha at 02:46 PM on September 16, 2003

You're giving too much away, fatty...

posted by StarFucker at 02:53 PM on September 16, 2003

I have Barry, lucky guess on my part I think.

posted by billsaysthis at 04:21 PM on September 16, 2003

Savage is off as soon as I can spare the points. He is the worst player on the team.

posted by worldcup2002 at 05:20 PM on September 16, 2003

He had a nice free kick this weekend...good save by Van Der Sar though...

posted by StarFucker at 11:09 PM on September 16, 2003

He also had a nice free kick that led to our second goal, overall though, he is a liability. I can't understand why I only got one point for D Johnson, he was clearly the provider for our first goal with a cute little header into the box from which Forsell, who will prove an inspired signing, scored.

posted by Fat Buddha at 02:28 AM on September 17, 2003

I had to make a few changes so I decided to do it in one blast. Most of my cheap subs have been loaned out to lower leagues, one striker is injured and the other couldn't score if he hitched a lift with a friend of Clinton Morrison. Out goes the 4-4-2 and in comes the 3-5-2. Jansen joins Henry up front until Bellamy finds out who stole his boots. The midfield is bolstered with the introduction of Roy Keane and Steve Stone who join stalwarts Dunn, Kewell and Lampard. It's not pretty football but it'll be entertaining.

posted by kWaCkY at 02:41 AM on September 17, 2003

Keane may be injured... Am i the ONLY one that pays attention to injuries and suspensions?

posted by StarFucker at 08:46 AM on September 17, 2003

but at least my subs aren't on loan to some bayou backwater club Like West Ham

posted by kWaCkY at 09:04 AM on September 17, 2003

No StarFecker you ain't. I choose not to mention them though in the hope that I can gain an advantage over those who don't. Plan ain't working too well so far, it must be said.

posted by squealy at 12:10 PM on September 17, 2003

i'll hand it to yahoo that (at least on their NBA and NHL pools) you can see when your players are injured without having to follow every stinking news item. that said, I haven't read anything that has Keane actually missing the weekend game v arsenal. yet. not that I am looking.

posted by gspm at 12:22 PM on September 17, 2003

I finally got off my ass and made some changes. I'm probably the last to drop Friedel, but he just hasn't been in great form yet. Dropped Murphy as well. We'll see if I can squeak into the top half of the division in the next couple weeks.

posted by Ufez Jones at 01:04 PM on September 17, 2003

I've dropped him, too. But I wouldn't blame Freidel. The keeper is the last man in defense, not the only one.

posted by worldcup2002 at 02:03 PM on September 17, 2003

HAHHA!!! You dropped Murphy, you dropped Murphy! Nyahh!

posted by StarFucker at 02:17 PM on September 17, 2003

I am keeping faith with Friedel, every time I drop some chuffer they start making big points. Giannakopoulos was my secret weaponat the start of the season, then he turned out to be crap, then the bastard Allardyce dropped him, so I got rid. This week he is in team of the week

posted by Fat Buddha at 02:19 PM on September 17, 2003

You dropped Murphy, you dropped Murphy! Yeah, I figured you'd like that. Picked up Scowcroft. I also jumped on the Jones (of SO) bandwagon. Dropped a no-name forward for Sheringham too, which is a -slight but hopefully worth the 4 points it cost me- upgrade. Next week I'll likely ditch Savage (there's some more 'I told you so'-s, SF), but it can wait til then.

posted by Ufez Jones at 02:47 PM on September 17, 2003

Get Dunn instead, he gets in more assists and takes the penalties.

posted by kWaCkY at 04:48 AM on September 20, 2003

Lampard gets one and assists with one. And it's not even 3 p.m. yet :-)

posted by kWaCkY at 08:32 AM on September 20, 2003

My "one trade a week" strategy has got me shite in the last two weeks. Time to throw caution to the wind. Time to do a catfish.

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:18 AM on September 20, 2003

I've caught the Fooker! Temporarily, at least. I'll enjoy my overall month ranking for the next 23 hours, before the everybody and his dog who has Henry and van Nistelrooy cash in.

posted by taupe at 01:18 PM on September 20, 2003

I hope they do because I have just had a miserable day, fucking hopeless. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a dull 0-0. I daren't even look at my Yahoo team. I don't think any of the chuffers played.

posted by Fat Buddha at 01:35 PM on September 20, 2003

Time to do a catfish. I hope everyone does a catfish & takes the 56 point hit. i know nothing about the sport so i ran with the auto picks. big mistake. after i redrafted i lucked into some players & now i'm getting into euro football a bit. hoping to finish in the top half then dominate next year.

posted by catfish at 06:28 PM on September 20, 2003

I am doing a little Number 5 dance for today though since my only player in the game (in this league at least) is Howard, I'm hoping for a 1-0 ManUre result with the lone goal coming from, say, Fortune or Djemba-Djemba.

posted by billsaysthis at 06:28 PM on September 20, 2003

catfish: You haven't done too badly since you made those giant trades, which makes your strategy attractive. I'm going to see how tomorrow plays out before I make my trades.

posted by worldcup2002 at 07:39 PM on September 20, 2003

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