- 02:22 PM
- 05/17/08
"Greg Maddux? I bet you could catch him with your eyes closed." What you are about to read is a story about grown men who should know better. It is included here as a means of illustrating the legend of one man and his unique place in baseball history. It should not be construed as an endorsement of the activity described, although we must admit it makes for a pretty cool story.
posted to Baseball at 4:48 PM CDT
NASCAR Rookie Survives Unbelievable Crash NASCAR Sprint Cup rookie Michael McDowell tested the new safety features in the Car of Tomorrow yesterday during qualifying at Texas Motor Speedway, slamming into a Steel and Foam Energy Reduction (SAFER) barrier at more than 100 mph and rolling eight times (see the video). "That was the hardest hit I think I've ever seen anybody take," driver Tony Stewart said.
posted to Auto Racing at 11:37 AM CDT
It looks to me like he hit the oil that was laid down by the car that was qualifying just a few minutes earlier (David Gilliland.) Jamie McMurray was complaining that there was oil on the track during his attempt right after Gilliland (and two cars before McDowell).
I also think the puff coach mentions wasn't smoke, it was speedy-dry.
posted at 8:47 PM CDT on April 5
Tiger beats God in friendly golf match Is Tiger that good?
posted to Golf at 8:06 AM CDT
"Despite claims to the contrary by Lee Trevino, he's also known for his proficiency with a 1-iron ..."
Perfect.
posted at 2:21 PM CDT on March 22
The Red Sox and Oakland open the season in Japan with Dice-K returning home to start. Usually these trips result in a lot of grousing by the players (most famously, Mike Mussina), but there's not a lot of sympathy when you're getting $40,000 for your troubles. Except if you're not: the MLB has announced that while players and managers will receive the stipend, coaches will not. Red Sox players are threatening to walk off the field today if the MLB does not reverse its reversal of its original stance.
posted to Baseball at 9:03 AM CDT
Watching ESPN right now, they're interviewing Varitek in the dugout. The game has not started, and doesn't look like it will unless the Sox players get their way.
posted at 11:32 AM CDT on March 19
John Daly disqualified at Bay Hill One day after swing coach Butch Harmon fires him, Daly misses his tee time and is disqualified from Arnold Palmers Invitational. Said Harmon, "My whole goal for him was he's got to show me golf is the most important thing in his life," Harmon said. "And the most important thing in his life is getting drunk."
posted to Golf at 10:45 AM CDT
"What the fuck is Q School??"
You're kidding, right?
Q School
posted at 9:41 AM CDT on March 15
Carl Edwards Heavily Penalized For Cheating, But Doesn't Have To Forfeit Vegas Win. Wait, what?
posted to Auto Racing at 9:43 AM CDT
NASCAR doesn't take away wins from teams caught cheating, as we learned last year and the year before and the year before, etc.
posted at 4:20 PM CDT on March 6
Pedro Martinez, Juan Marichal filmed at cock fight A video of Martinez and Marichal at a cockfight was posted this week on YouTube and it showed the two laughing before releasing the roosters. They took part as honourary "soltadores," the word used to describe the person who puts the animal to fight. The fight takes place in their home country, the Dominican Republic, where cockfighting is legal and popular. It is banned throughout the United States
posted to Culture at 6:12 AM CDT
"Why do you have roosters cutting your grass?"
Because the the little peckers will work for less than the Dominicans will.
posted at 2:10 PM CDT on February 8
Chris Berman provides good case for destroying video tape as he asks the question, "hasn't anyone here worked in TV before?"
He - could - go - all - the - way....
posted to General at 8:40 PM CDT
I figured this would show up here. It's awesome.
Don't crank it up if you're at work, though. NSFW language.
posted at 9:08 PM CDT on February 1
What's a coach really worth? The knee-jerk perception isn't kind to Oxford. We live in a state that under funds important items, that ranks in the bottom percentile of most U.S. social and educational categories, and yet Oxford High School's football coach is being paid $105,000 a year. No prep football coach in Alabama makes more.
posted to Football at 4:54 PM CDT
"I have been a teacher in Texas for 9 years and football coaches consistenly make about twice what my cieling is."
Mustn't make comment about spelling...mustn't make comment about spelling...
posted at 9:01 PM CDT on January 15
Ice Bowl is one for the ages The consensus about the Ice Bowl, aka the AMP Energy NHL Winter Classic? It was cool.
posted to Hockey at 10:35 AM CDT
One of our local TV news stations reported on this as being "the first hockey game ever played outdoors", which I thought was pretty funny.
posted at 3:12 PM CDT on January 2
posted to Extreme at 4:07 PM CDT
"Didn't Evel use a ROCKET to jump the grand canyon?"
No, he used a rocket to fall into the Snake River Canyon.
posted at 9:59 AM CDT on January 2
Why don't you (bleeping) block somebody, Gonzalez. A superb Joe Posnanski column from the Kansas City Star. As Bill Simmons writes, "It's incredibly hard to make a column work this well, with this much detail, when you only have 850 words."
posted to Football at 6:55 AM CDT
I like it.
"Hey, Pro Bowler, why don't you do what the fans pay to see you do?"
posted at 10:11 PM CDT on December 28
Records in sight after Patriots move to 15-0 ,but need to play better than they did in the second half against the Dolphins,didn't score in the second half for the first time this year as Brady seemed to continue to throw to Moss in double and triple coverage.
posted to Football at 12:30 PM CDT
"P.S. Somebody please come up with a better name than 'Spygate.' I refuse to believe that this country is so intellectually lazy that every scandal has to be slapped with a name ending in '-gate.' I'll brainstorm."
Spyaholics?
posted at 6:08 PM CDT on December 25
Could a morbidly obese goalie shut out an NHL team? In an excerpt from 'Andy Roddick Beat me With a Frying Pan,' Todd Gallagher explores and tests the burning question of if very very large could effectively close off the net.
posted to Hockey at 10:44 AM CDT
Just wait until we can genetically engineer people into rectangular shapes.
posted at 12:24 PM CDT on December 13
ARod returning to the Yankees.
Asked whether the only remaining details were putting the deal on paper, Steinbrenner responded: "pretty much so."
posted to Baseball at 8:37 PM CDT
Hopefully the deal also includes A-Rod firing Boras.
posted at 9:37 PM CDT on November 15
Bonds will boycott HOF " I don't think you can put an asterisk in the game of baseball, and I don't think that the Hall of Fame can accept an asterisk" Bonds response to question about marked baseball and Hall of Fame.
posted to Baseball at 10:14 PM CDT
"What if some racist fan caught the record breaking ball and wanted to put an asterisk on it with his editorial comments. Would the HOF display it? Of course not but it is the same thing."
Actually it's not, but you go ahead and run with that.
posted at 3:58 PM CDT on November 3
Some consider them only another piece of equipment. They don't understand that baseball gloves, like the game, are eternal.
posted to Baseball at 8:54 PM CDT
A six-and-a-half-year-old article? Really?
posted at 11:28 PM CDT on October 31
The Vintage Base Ball Federation Vintage base ball is a fast growing sport (225 clubs from 32 states), which features amateur clubs adhering to the rules, uniforms, equipment and gentlemanly competitive play of baseball's 19th century roots.
posted to Baseball at 4:22 PM CDT
How odd that you posted this one year to the day after I posted this.
posted at 1:16 PM CDT on August 27
Michael Vick Admits to Dogfighting, Will Plead Guilty The Falcons quarterback has reached a plea agreement with prosecutors in his federal dogfighting case and will enter his guilty plea Monday, his attorney said today. No word yet on what sentence he might receive. Vick and his codefendants, who already reached deals, face up to five years in prison and $250,000 in fines.
posted to Football at 2:05 PM CDT
I wanna see some of those racial epitaphs that were eluded to.
posted at 5:26 PM CDT on August 21
Mets Fan Emerges with Bonds Home Run Ball "They were pushing grandmothers to the floor," said Susan Kitchens, sitting near the place Barry Bonds' historic home run landed Tuesday night and ignited a mad scramble of pushing, shoving and other bad sportsmanship. When it was over, Matt Murphy, a 26-year-old visiting Mets fan who bought his ticket that day, walked away with a ball worth an estimated half-million.
posted to Baseball at 9:15 AM CDT
Matt "Guitar" Murphy?
posted at 10:04 AM CDT on August 8
50 greatest sporting insults. My personal favorite: 22. "What problems do you have, apart from being unemployed, a moron and a dork?" -- John McEnroe calls it how he sees it to a tennis spectator.
posted to General at 11:54 PM CDT
Very much UK-centric, but still entertaining.
posted at 11:56 PM CDT on August 3
Politically correct baseball - the first, second and third basemen became "base persons," the batboy was the "bat person" for the night and the shortstop turned into the "vertically challenged stop."
posted to Baseball at 1:50 PM CDT
"Search and replace" is an awesome feature of word processing programs:
Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's personager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: Well you know I've never met the persons. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Costello: Zir sibling Daffy.
Abbott: Daffy Dean...
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofè.
Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the personager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the persons' names?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the person's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The person on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseperson.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The person playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
Abbott: That's the person's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta first baseperson?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseperson every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the person's name on first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The person that gets...
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott: Zie does, every dollar. Sometimes zir partner comes down and collects it.
Costello: Whose partner?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Abbott: What's wrong with that?
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseperson, how does zie sign zir name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The person.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does zie sign...
Abbott: That's how zie signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the person's name on first base.
Abbott: No. What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the person on first base?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ok.
Abbott: All right.
PAUSE
Costello: What's the person's name on first base?
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: Zie's on third, we're not talking about zir.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott: Why you mentioned zir name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseperson's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott: No. Who's playing first.
Costello: What's on first?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: Zie's on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again!
PAUSE
Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who's playing third base?
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third.
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: You don't want who on second?
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Abbott: Who's playing first.
Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the person's name in left field?
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first!
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: Because!
Abbott: Oh, zie's centerfield.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott: I'm telling you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow!
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Gotta catcher?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher's name?
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
PAUSE
Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.
Abbott: So they tell me.
Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When zie bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the person out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
PAUSE
Abbott: That's all you have to do.
Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: Now who's got it?
Abbott: Naturally.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's different.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: You're not saying it...
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You throw it to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's what I said!
Abbott: You ask me.
Costello: I throw the ball to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the person runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another person gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! Zie's on third and I don't give a darn!
Abbott: What?
Costello: I said I don't give a darn!
Abbott: Oh, that's our vertically-challenged stop.
posted at 10:36 PM CDT on August 1
James Oyebola's life support to be switched off. On Monday, after asking 3 men to stop smoking, ex-British Heavyweight champion James Oyebola was shot. In the face. Today, after doctor's pronounced him brain dead, his life support is to be switched off.
posted to Boxing at 4:34 AM CDT
It's a good thing smoking in public places and carrying handguns are illegal in jolly old England, isn't it?
posted at 2:20 PM CDT on July 27
Women want Cow-Runs for equality in Spain's San Fermin bull festival Is this a legitimate beef?
posted to Extreme at 8:11 PM CDT
Udderly ridiculous.
posted at 10:05 PM CDT on July 10
Life in a Cage, Baby Sleeps, Mom Cooks, Dad Bats 'When Amber Willets is cooking dinner -crack!, or putting the kid to bed -crack!......she has to wonder why she agreed to live in a batting cage.
posted to Baseball at 9:36 AM CDT
My daughter thinks this is awesome.
"Move the couch, we're gonna take some batting practice!"
posted at 7:50 PM CDT on July 1
Mackenzie Kline is one of the world's leading 15 year golfers, a remarkable feat since she was born with only 3/4 of a heart. Her web page has more information.
posted to Golf at 11:15 PM CDT
And I can't get my healthy teenagers to walk to the corner store.
posted at 8:01 PM CDT on July 1
'Burnout' mishap turns tragic in Tennessee One day after a drag-racing car careened into a crowd and killed six people, witnesses questioned on Sunday why the driver was allowed to speed down a highway with no guard rails, lined on both sides by hundreds of spectators.
posted to Auto Racing at 8:32 PM CDT
Back when I was a teenager I attended a drag race on a 4th of July weekend. The American flag was presented at the starting line by a scantily-clad babe on the back of a Harley which was being driven by a large hairy biker dude. The national anthem was sung, and the Harley started off down the track towards the finish line, bikini-babe waving and smiling at the crowd as they cheered. As they reached about half-track, two funny cars lit their engines and prepared to do their burnouts.
For some inexplicable reason, aforementioned biker dude thought it would be cool to turn around and make another pass up the track. The entire crowd gasped in unison at the sight of the two funny cars, tires smoking and shrieking, barrelling down the track at the no-longer-waving-or-smiling bikini babe and her hirsute pilot who were just then realizing they were driving head-on into 10000 horsepower.
There couldn't have been a foot of clearance on either side of the Harley as the cars blasted past it. I still cringe thinking about it, and that was easily 20 years ago.
posted at 10:15 AM CDT on June 18
"We might be first to 10,000, but we're first in something." The Philadelphia Phillies have lost more games than any other team in the Big Leagues, and they're coming up on 10,000 losses. Chart of the Top Five (Pittsburgh's #4). "In the 27 seasons from 1919 through 1945, Philadelphia finished last in the National League 16 times and second to last 7 times." Philadelphia's also the city with teams in one of the four major professional sports that's gone the longest without a championship. Some fans are choosing to Celebrate 10,000.
posted to Baseball at 12:21 PM CDT
Only 9,998 more posts about this to go.
posted at 5:44 PM CDT on June 14
Earnhardt Jr. to Hendrick, Kyle Busch out of #5 Kellogg's car? Press conference at 11AM Eastern tomorrow.
posted to Auto Racing at 9:59 PM CDT
Fungooli, looks like your friend was misinformed. It's Hendrick.
posted at 10:10 AM CDT on June 13
How the '77 Blazers went from chumps to champs in one season "I stopped practice at one point," former GM Dr. Jack Ramsay says. "I could barely keep from laughing, I was so happy with what I was seeing. I knew, even before we'd played a game, what we had. 'Listen,' I said. 'If we play like this, we can win!'"
posted to Basketball at 2:12 PM CDT
"Fans would line the streets leading away from Walton's house on game nights to cheer him on as he rode his bicycle to the arena."
That's a joke, right? An NBA player ... riding a bicycle? In public?
The times, they have a-changed.
posted at 2:44 PM CDT on June 12
LeBron James is on another level now A roll of the drums, please. LeBron James is ready for his close-up.
posted to Basketball at 3:46 PM CDT
Blah blah blah yakkity shmakkity
posted by CAGON
Ancient Chinese secret, huh?
posted at 9:46 PM CDT on June 1
Kobe Bryant Demands Trade "I would like to be traded, yeah," Bryant said on 1050 ESPN Radio in New York. "Tough as it is to come to that conclusion there's no other alternative, you know?"
posted to Basketball at 1:03 PM CDT
Stop the presses: Lakers' Bryant backs off trade demand.
posted at 9:15 PM CDT on May 30
The legend of Bo. Bo Jackson didn’t believe the hype, saying he was just another guy. But really, he was superhuman. The Kansas City Star's Joe Posnanski waxes nostalgic about Bo Jackson twenty years after his rookie season with the Royals.
posted to Baseball at 12:59 AM CDT
Bo knows hyperbole.
posted at 1:09 PM CDT on May 30
John Smoltz makes history Tonight, Smoltz got career win #200, becoming the first pitcher ever to add that figure to 150 career saves. Hall of Famer Dennis Eckersley, to whom Smoltz is frequently compared, was just three wins shy of the same distinction when he retired. Smoltz also broke knuckleballer Charlie Hough's record for most saves by a pitcher with 200 or more wins.
Is this enough to get Smoltz into the Hall? posted to Baseball at 10:35 PM CDT
I always figured Smoltz, Maddux, and Glavine were shoo-ins.
posted at 9:31 AM CDT on May 25
AT&T wins injunction, but NASCAR is granted stay ,Dispute over former Cingular sponsorship of Burton
posted to Auto Racing at 8:18 AM CDT
Jeff Burton is in fact running the at&t logo on his car in the All-Star race. Read into that what you will.
posted at 9:17 PM CDT on May 19
Pistons 4 - Bulls 2
Cavs 3 - Nets 2
Suns 2 - Spurs 3
Warriors 1 - Jazz 4
THE NBA PLAYOFF THREAD or WHY I STOPPED CARING ABOUT SUSPENSIONS AND STARTED WORRYING ABOUT THE LACK OF BEER AT THE POSTGAME PRESSER.
posted to Basketball at 1:43 PM CDT
This year almost makes me wish I still cared about the Jazz.
Almost.
posted at 2:43 PM CDT on May 18
"Utah is back baby!!"
Figures, just as I become too old to enjoy it.
posted at 3:43 PM CDT on May 18
Swedish Game Site Power Challenge Raises $8M in VC Power Challenge makes Java-powered, browser-based sports games, so far football (USians: soccer) and hockey, not surprising considering their location, and in both single and multi-player variations. Sadly and strangely, Windows-only so far, so I can't give you my two cents, though OS X and Linux are "coming soon."
posted to Culture at 4:31 PM CDT
Windows-only Java?
*mind boggles*
posted at 7:31 PM CDT on May 14
Ricky Williams tests positive for marijuana again Dolphins running back Ricky Williams tested positive for marijuana in April and will not be allowed to apply for reinstatement to the NFL until September, ESPN.com reported Friday. Williams was suspended last year for violation of the substance abuse policy and was eligible to be reinstated this month, but sources told the website that the league's medical advisors who oversee Williams' rehabilitation program recently notified Commissioner Roger Goodell of the positive test. Williams had failed four drug tests previously.
posted to Football at 12:08 PM CDT
"Nice editing. Now put whole sentence back together and answer the question."
OK, I'll take a crack at it:
"He failed a test before he ever got drafted and they took him anyway. Who's fault is that?"
Well, drafting him was clearly the fault of the Saints. Obviously they saw enough potential in him that they were able to overlook the failed test in the hopes they could get him to abide by the league's drug policy.
Now, whose fault is it that he continues to fail the tests? Ricky's, of course. He's clearly made the decision that weed is more important to him than an NFL career, which is his choice to make. I hope it's one he's content to look back on later and believe he made the right one.
posted at 5:17 PM CDT on May 11
Severe Rugby Injury in Scholastic Game Lands Player in Jail The family of 15-year-old rugby player Manny Castillo, who is not expected to live after being injured during a match, are fighting to save another life -- the player on the other team involved in the scrum. He's in jail facing aggravated assault charges that may be upgraded upon Castillo's death. "We support the police investigation but we do not condone the fact that this kid is charged with assault or that he is in custody," Castillo's uncle Hector said.
posted to Other at 10:17 AM CDT
"Family members of the injured-now-deceased refuse to allow this event to ruin the other kid's life. The students at the school refuse to give reports or speculation on the event to the media out of courtesy to the victim's family.
What is in the water in Mississauga that makes people behave so thoughtfully and rationally in the wake of such a shocking tragedy? Because we really should think about importing it."
Obviously, they have the belief that their government will eventually do what's right. Sadly, this is no longer the case for most of the U.S.
posted at 5:24 PM CDT on May 11
Bulls 0 - Pistons 2
Cavs 2 - Nets 0
Suns 1 - Spurs 1
Warriors 0 - Jazz 1
posted to Basketball at 12:22 PM CDT
Warriors 0 - Jazz 2
I'd say "woot" if I cared any more.
posted at 11:30 PM CDT on May 9
What happens in clubhouse, stays there "It was my job to protect the team," Dave Dickenson said. "That's what I did." Dickenson said he would pour a cup of beer and place it in the dugout bathroom. The star player would sneak there between innings for a drink, and continue drinking throughout the game.
posted to Baseball at 10:15 PM CDT
Piazza?
posted at 11:04 PM CDT on May 5
Study shows racial bias by NBA referees “Basically, it suggests that if you spray-painted one of your starters white, you’d win a few more games,” Mr. Wolfers said.
posted to Basketball at 7:31 AM CDT
"white refs call fewer fouls than non-white refs"
Interesting. I guess the "stop snitching" campaign is failing, then?
posted at 2:07 PM CDT on May 2
"The Worst Beating of Your Life" Very funny article about extreme marathoning. Competitors have 60 hours to go 100 miles (and that's the good news). Or you can compete in the 60 mile version, dubbed "The Fun Run".
posted to Extreme at 3:41 PM CDT
"How hard could he push himself? How much could he endure before his mind and body surrendered to the woods?"
I know the answer to that question without having to torture myself to find out, thank you very much.
posted at 5:10 PM CDT on April 29
MLB Credits Hank Aaron With 50 Lost Home Runs In what Major League Baseball officials are calling a "long overdue correction of a gross oversight," Commissioner Bud Selig announced Tuesday the discovery that Hall of Famer Hank Aaron had in fact accumulated 50 previously unaccounted-for home runs during his illustrious 22-year baseball career, bringing his once record total of 755 to an even higher 805 and putting the all-time home-run record perhaps forever out of reach.
posted to Baseball at 1:49 PM CDT
"Steroids or not, nobody on this post could EVER hit a home run off a major league pitcher."
I was in the show for 21 days once.- the 21 greatest days of my life.
posted at 5:56 PM CDT on April 28
New car no fun for most drivers. NASCAR’s grand experiment, the Car of Tomorrow, took the next step last Saturday night in Phoenix, and it was not a big hit with many of the Nextel Cup drivers. “I could see the leaders almost the whole race, and it was like we all were just out there running the exact same lap times,” said Dale Earnhardt Jr. “It was a parade. I was bored".
posted to Football at 1:11 PM CDT
"Football" works too, 'cause they're both sports that I used to love but which I rarely bother to watch any more.
posted at 1:48 PM CDT on April 27
Imus, the Irrelevant and Whitlock, the Wise I know the Imus slur of Rutgers players is all over the news. And, we are sick of hearing about it. But this excellent piece by Jason Whitlock of the Kansas City Star is reminiscent of Bill Cosby's refreshing and candid commentary on the real problems facing minorities.
posted to Culture at 12:39 PM CDT
Yeah, Imus definitely has a face for radio.
posted at 1:25 PM CDT on April 11
102-Year-Old Woman Sinks Hole in One Elsie McLean became the oldest golfer to hit a hole-in-one Thursday at Bidwell Municipal golf course in Chico, Calif. She sank the 100 yard shot on the par 3 fourth hole using a driver. "When you get to be 102, you don't have much choice," she said. McLean, who began golfing before Arnold Palmer took up the sport, has played the course for 70 years.
posted to Golf at 8:27 AM CDT
Bitch.
posted at 9:25 PM CDT on April 8
"Juuuuust a bit outside."
The worst ceremonial first pitch in baseball history.
posted to Baseball at 9:24 PM CDT
"Crash Davis told him to hit the ump."
I wasn't even there, man.
posted at 8:58 AM CDT on April 4
No Palace For These Cinderellas In the NCAA tournament, where you stand determines where you sleep at night: to the best teams go the best hotels. [via Slate]
posted to Basketball at 2:04 PM CDT
Maybe I'm just not very picky, but I've stayed in the nice downtown Marriott hotels, and I've stayed in Super 8 motels, and I've stayed in Mom and Pop motels in the middle of nowhere and frankly I don't see a lot of difference other than room size and how recently the decor was changed. At least not enough to justify a couple hundred dollars a night difference.
I mean, I sleep just as well in any of them (which is to say not very well at all). I've never met a hotel bed I liked.
posted at 2:45 PM CDT on March 22
Better late than never : the 2007 French Open becomes the last Grand Slam tournament to extend equal prize money to women.
posted to Tennis at 3:18 PM CDT
If set length isn't an issue, maybe the men's side should reduce theirs to three, since apparently nobody's interested in watching them anyway.
posted at 3:08 PM CDT on March 20
Modano gets no love from Nashville Mike Modano became the NHL's all-time leading U.S.-born goal scorer during a loss to the Nashville Predators on Saturday, but you wouldn't have known it if you were at the game. No mention of Modano's achievement was made during the game, and Dallas Stars president Jim Lites ain't happy about it.
posted to Hockey at 1:19 PM CDT
If you like MGD you definitely need counseling, regardless of your country of origin.
posted at 7:52 PM CDT on March 19
Rose admits to betting on Reds every night Pete Rose revealed Wednesday that he bet on the Reds "every night" while he was manager of the team and that the Dowd Report was correct when it said he did so."I bet on my team to win every night because I love my team, I believe in my team," Rose said. "I did everything in my power every night to win that game."
posted to Baseball at 5:10 PM CDT
"I never bet on baseball."
"I did bet on baseball, but never on a game involving my team."
"I bet on my team to win every night."
Next up:
"Sometimes I bet on my team to lose, but only if I owed my bookie a lot."
posted at 5:40 PM CDT on March 14
Curt Schilling has a blog. (via Deadspin)
posted to Baseball at 9:54 AM CDT
I can't get to it.
Must be behind a bloody SOCKS proxy.
posted at 2:01 PM CDT on March 8
What would you chop a finger off for? A chance to play in the cricket world cup? No need to get too worried, he is doing fine with it so far.
posted to Other at 1:06 PM CDT
"Oram eventually went 12 short of his ton when he holed out to Syed Rasel at long-on. He hit five fours and a massive straight six in his 107-ball stay."
I wish they would speak English, for the love of Pete. I can't understand any of that.
posted at 2:32 PM CDT on March 6
"I call him 'The Silent Scumbag.' … He's got a silent sickness to him. … Those quiet guys are the ones you have to watch out for." Hee hee! I had post this because of the quote. David Wells is on the case and the Killing Machine may be getting a little too cozy. Sure, now he's just urinating on rookies, but when night falls....
posted to Baseball at 8:21 AM CDT
I've actually met Greg Maddux and I have absolutely nothing bad to say about him.
Especially since he knows my real name.
The preceding may be entirely fictional.
posted at 12:39 PM CDT on March 2
Team Me Up Scottie Pippen wants to return and is looking for another NBA championship ring.
posted to Basketball at 10:14 AM CDT
"How about some old timers come out of retirement to play in the NBDL in the name of boosting the quality of play"
Sounds nice, until you have to tell a young, developing player that you cut him so an over-the-hill NBA vet can take his roster spot.
posted at 1:54 PM CDT on February 16
Tim Hardaway, the yin to Jon Amaechi's yang: "First of all I wouldn't want him on my team," said Hardaway. "Second of all, if he was on my team I would really distance myself from him because I don't think that's right and I don't think he should be in the locker room when we're in the locker room."
posted to Culture at 11:31 PM CDT
Pre-Madonna, no one worried about the gays. I blame "Vogue".
posted at 12:21 PM CDT on February 15
Tradin' paint over control of DEI Dale Earnhardt, Jr., and his stepmother, Teresa, are locked in a battle for majority ownership of Dale Earnhardt Inc. Could the son end up leaving the race team his father built, and would he be better off if he did? One NASCAR commentator seems to think so.
posted to Auto Racing at 11:29 AM CDT
"I think he may follow waltrip."
Wouldn't that be awesome? Imagine the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments that would follow. Junior in a Toyota could cause another Southern secession.
posted at 6:16 PM CDT on February 13
Former NBA center John Amaechi announces that he is gay. Henry Abbott over at TrueHoop is anticipating the league's reaction.
posted to Culture at 2:46 PM CDT
Surprising almost no one, to be fair.
posted at 3:13 PM CDT on February 7
You Can't Stop Deadspin; You Can Only Hope to Contain It PRWeek profiles Deadspin.Com "dorky and corn-fed" editor Will Leitch, whose influential, sarcastic and ESPN-mocking sports blog is fast becoming the New York Yankees to SportsFilter's Detroit Tigers.
posted to General at 8:46 AM CDT
"We have a foursome every Sunday"
I hope to hell you're talking in golf terms.
posted at 12:51 PM CDT on February 7
NFL Won't Let Church Show Game - The NFL has nixed a church's plans to use a wall projector to show the Colts-Bears Super Bowl game, saying it would violate copyright laws.
posted to Football at 10:54 AM CDT
Wow, my 61" TV is illegal to watch the Super Bowl on?
How idiotic.
posted at 12:10 PM CDT on February 2
Oh, dear.
The fight is on.
posted at 10:02 AM CDT on February 3
The Saints come home to a heart warming party and hang out with grateful, while a little tipsy, fans of the city's historically maligned, now proud franchise. If this doesn't bring a tear to your eye, you dont like football. It brought a couple to mine, and I am a Philadelphia phan.
posted to Football at 9:44 PM CDT
luther70:
........,,,,,,,!!!!--
Take a deep breath and sprinkle as needed.
posted at 6:31 PM CDT on January 27
Mascot's antics nearly cost D-League team a victory. "Da Bull was suspended for two games and assigned by the team to 50 hours of community service. A replacement mascot will perform in his absence." Replacement mascot? This just seems like an all-around weird story.
posted to Basketball at 2:27 PM CDT
Brad Maynard, on being voted 'Hottest Chicago Bear': "I don't know what's sexy about being 32, married with three kids and balding."
posted to Football at 1:21 PM CDT
I just now noticed I typed "Chicage". I really, really need to make an appointment with the eye doctor.
I hope "failing eyesight" is also on the list of sexy qualities.
posted at 2:13 PM CDT on January 18
One Toke Over The Line, Ron Mexico... Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick "reluctantly" turned over a water bottle to TSA agents at the Miami-Dade International Airport yesterday. Upon closer inspection, the bottle had a hidden compartment containing "a dark particulate" and emanating "a pungent aroma closely associated with marijuana." Considering that Ron Mexico's had at least one TSA problem before, why would you even try to get something through security?
posted to Football at 12:34 PM CDT
Just for posterity:
Pavel Malta
posted at 10:01 AM CDT on January 19
Just for fun I ran through some famous names that have been in the news lately:
George W Bush = Adonis Norway
Kim Jong Il = Giorgio Falkland
Fidel Castro = Robb Equatorial Guinea
Raul Castro = Jon New Zealand
Donald Trump = Jean Pierre Iraq
Rosie O'Donnell = Yvonne New Zealand
Britney Spears = Eva Portugal
Paris Hilton = Sarah Venezuela
Paula Abdul = Sophie Myanmar
Angelina Jolie = (and this is my personal favorite) Alotta South Korea
posted at 12:55 PM CDT on January 19
Floyd Makes Dick a Little Testy In an unjustly overlooked interview last Sunday, World Anti-Doping Agency chairman Dick Pound had this to say about Floyd Landis' testosterone-to-epitestosterone ratio level after Stage 17 of last year's Tour de Farce. "It was 11 to 1! You'd think he'd be violating every virgin within 100 miles. How does he even get on his bicycle?"
posted to Other at 10:07 AM CDT
God, I hate Dick Pound with the seething white-hot passion of a thousand imploding suns.
Happy now?
posted at 5:23 PM CDT on January 14
Barry Bonds Throws Teammate Under "Speeding" Bus. Ubiquitous San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds, already under investigation for, well, just about everything he does, failed a drug test in 2006. Major League Baseball won't identify the drug, but "sources" classsify it as a "serious stimulant." Bonds blames the test result on teammate Mark Sweeney, saying he got the substance from Sweeney's locker.
posted to Baseball at 6:23 AM CDT
"Awesomely Unknown Things Barry Bonds is Also Responsible For
...
KFed"
Oh, that was low. I mean, I hate Barry Bonds with the seething, white-hot passion of a thousand imploding suns, but I wouldn't stoop that far.
posted at 2:41 PM CDT on January 11
"Yet, when I posted a thread about Rose a few weeks ago, it didn't jump to 60 comments in 12 hours, and not one person exclaimed, 'I hate Pete Rose with the seething, white-hot passion of a thousand imploding suns.'"
I was out sick that day. I'll try to work it into the next Pete Rose thread. Or maybe Mark Cuban. Kobe, possibly. Depends on what else is going on.
posted at 7:39 PM CDT on January 11
Bobby Hamilton, 49, dies after battle with neck cancer Bobby Hamilton found Victory Lane in all three of NASCAR's top series, but couldn't outrace cancer.
posted to Auto Racing at 11:08 AM CDT
Yeah, it was a bit of a surprise considering that, on the 21st of December, this story on NASCAR.com made it seem like he was doing quite well.
posted at 3:41 PM CDT on January 8
I'll just ice this one and... oooaugh! Patrik Stefan of the Dallas Stars was on a breakaway towards an open net in the absolute dying moments of a game with his team up by one... only the puck took a bad hop... and he missed the net... and the puck went back up the ice... and the Oilers tied the game with only two seconds left in one of the craziest endings* to a hockey game you will ever see. *of course, the game didn't end there but went into OT and a shootout wherein Stefan's teammates bailed him out and got the win.
posted to Hockey at 11:53 AM CDT
Cue Nelson Muntz.
posted at 11:56 AM CDT on January 5
Mike Tyson's Downward Spiral Continues. Former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson was arrested this morning in Scottsdale, Arizona after leaving a nightclub. Deputies stopped Tyson after he pulled out into traffic, nearly hitting a parked sheriff's cruiser. Tyson failed a field sobriety test, and a subsequent search found cocaine on him and in his car.
posted to Boxing at 7:50 AM CDT
Oh, Mike, you poor bastard. When will you ever learn?
posted at 8:52 AM CDT on December 29
I Can't Grip My Balls! Another league complaining about new balls? Yep, this time it's the NFL.
posted to Football at 5:29 AM CDT
"There's nothing worse than stepping into a game with a ball that doesn't feel good in your hand ..."
I've been saying that for years.
posted at 1:37 PM CDT on December 27
'Scuse me while I whip this out... Florida Marlins pitcher Dontrelle Willis arrested on suspicion of DUI after cops observe him get out of his car and urinate in the street in Miami. Personally, I'd have held off on drunken shenanigans until after I'd finished with my contract negotiations. Then again, that's just me.
posted to Baseball at 7:52 AM CDT
"Ohh, it's twue. It's twue, it's twue."
posted at 8:50 AM CDT on December 22
Mean Green Football Coach Fades to Black The University of North Texas football program made news last week with a booster's threat to withhold $1 million over Coach Darrell Dickey's firing. They might make news next week over events during Saturday's game, as I explain in a SportsFilter subscriber column.
posted to Football at 6:35 PM CDT
It's like "how much more black could the uniforms be?", and the answer is "None. None more black."
posted at 9:20 PM CDT on November 21
Roger Federer's year in numbers - for all the stat heads.
posted to Tennis at 7:33 AM CDT
Those are some amazing stats, for sure.
However, Roger should be angry that every time I see his name I misread it as Federline.
posted at 9:01 AM CDT on November 20
Talk about your coincidences. Marshall football team gets a bit of a scare in the air.
posted to Football at 2:04 PM CDT
"It's really not a coincidence at all especially dealing with small charter planes."
...
"No injuries were reported among the 200 people aboard, but the timing was eerie."
That's a lot of passengers for a small charter plane, don't you think?
posted at 7:40 PM CDT on November 10
Nascar’s Drive for Diversity Is Producing Mixed Signals: The program, which looks to expand the talent pool of drivers at the top levels of stock car racing by encouraging minorities and women, is being beset with funding shortages, equipment problems and ignorance from fans, crew and executives.
Although it's far from a total failure, it may need some tweaking. According to the father of one of the younger drivers in the program, “The program is not designed to be successful because, No. 1, it’s not properly funded... They claim that it’s a pipeline. Well, nobody came out the pipe.”
posted to Auto Racing at 12:30 PM CDT
"Jeff Gordon, doing his part for diversity, marries a Belgian supermodel on a Mexican beach."
Jeff Gordon is a great example of the diversity of NASCAR. How many gay superstars are there in major sports (other than women's tennis)?
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
posted at 8:54 AM CDT on November 9
NBA Doesn't Monkey Around with Racial Heckler An Orlando Magic season ticket holder has been banned from all NBA arenas for allegedly calling Dikembe Mutombo a "monkey" after Thursday's preseason game against the Houston Rockets. Hooman Hamzehloui, an Orlando real estate sales director, claims he didn't know that calling a black man a primate was racist. Hamzehloui, who hosted a Magic party the night before attended by several players, is still having trouble figuring this out. He told an Orlando Sentinel columnist, "If I said he looked like a chimpanzee or like a gorilla, none of this happens."
posted to Basketball at 8:40 AM CDT
"Patrick Ewing looks like a gorrilla"
My aunt always called him "Moon-face". Do you remember the McDonald's "Mac Tonight" commercials from the 80's, with the creepy crescent moon-headed guy singing to the tune of "Mac the Knife"? That's where it came from. She said Ewing's profile was exactly like the crescent moon head.
posted at 10:04 AM CDT on October 31
Two words: Cosell. Garrett.
posted at 1:56 PM CDT on October 31
The "Cancer Sucks" Ball Park Tour Jeffrey Newbauer, Jr. succumbed on Wednesday to recurrent Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma. His battle was chronicled by his mother, and the family has vowed to continue the fight with ""NEWBEginnings," dedicated to taking children with cancer and their families out to the ballpark.
posted to Baseball at 1:06 PM CDT
I heard this on the radio today and it actually made me tear up.
I am such a wuss.
posted at 9:59 PM CDT on October 27
Joe Frazier is still fighting Ali, three decades later.
Over the years, Frazier has lost a fortune through a combination of his own generosity and naïveté, his carousing, failed business opportunities and a deep hatred for his former chief boxing rival, Muhammad Ali. The other headliners from his fighting days — Ali, George Foreman and Larry Holmes — are millionaires. But while Ali has benefited from lucrative licensing agreements and remains one the world’s most recognized and celebrated athletes, Frazier lives alone in an apartment one staircase above the gym where he and others train young fighters in a run-down part of town.
“But I guess, in a way, I’m rich, too. I have my family and I have a sound mind and a sound body, and after all of those brutal fights, I’m lucky to still have my eyesight.”
posted to Boxing at 12:32 PM CDT
“Ali always said I would be nothing without him,” Frazier said. “But who would he have been without me?”
A bon chat, bon rat.
posted at 1:08 PM CDT on October 18
2012 Summer Olympics Coincide with Ramadan As noted with protest, the 2012 summer games in London are scheduled to occur during Ramadan, a lunar month in which Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset. Around 3,000 of the 11,000 athletes who will participate are Muslims.
posted to Olympics at 11:38 AM CDT
"Togay Bayalti, president of the National Olympic Committee of Turkey, said: 'This will be difficult for Muslim athletes.
'They don't have to observe Ramadan if they are doing sport and travelling but they will have to decide whether it is important to them.'"
So tell me again why this is an issue?
posted at 1:31 PM CDT on October 16
Football fans accused of hanging sheep from goalpost The rivalry between two Sevier County high schools runs hot - so hot that Richfield football fans are suspected of killing a sheep and stringing it up at South Sevier on the eve of game day.
posted to Football at 12:01 PM CDT
Sevier County being what it is, it's likely that the sheep was also sexually assaulted.
posted at 1:27 PM CDT on October 13
tselson, ewe should feel pretty sheepish.
posted at 2:41 PM CDT on October 13
Update: Four teens confess.
"The sheep came from a farm north of Richfield, Mason said, and was killed in a field there. The teenagers did not have permission to be on the farm or to take the sheep."
Uh-oh.
posted at 3:00 PM CDT on October 13
NBA - Playing with old balls The uproar among the players in the NBA has forced David Stern to announce that the NBA may abandon the new synthetic basketball in favor of the 30 year old model.
posted to Basketball at 2:31 PM CDT
I liked the NBA a lot better pre-Madonna.
posted at 3:48 PM CDT on October 9
NBA changes ball despite player gripes I don't know what to think of it. It is hard to change tradition but change is good, right?
posted to Basketball at 7:35 PM CDT
Raising the hoop, as Kareem pointed out so many years ago, would only benefit the taller players. Want to take away their advantage? Lower it to 9 feet, and watch the goaltending calls go through the roof.
posted at 8:49 AM CDT on October 6
Ben Roethlisberger Action Figure Have you guys seen this? They're making action figures for your favorite sports figures now. Next they're going to release a limited addition motorcycle, helmet not included
posted to Football at 1:18 PM CDT
"A Malarchuk bobblehead would be awesome."
A Pez dispenser would be even more awesome.
posted at 3:55 PM CDT on September 25
The Ballad of Big Mike What happened next was the strangest encounter of Lemming's 28-year career as a football scout. Michael Oher sat down at the table across from him ... and refused to speak. "He shook my hand and then didn’t say a word," Lemming recalled. ("His hands — they were huge!") Lemming asked a few questions; Michael Oher just kept staring right through him. And soon enough Lemming decided further interaction was pointless. Michael Oher left, and he left behind blank forms and unanswered questions. Every other high-school football player in America was dying for Lemming to invite him to play in the U.S. Army All-American Bowl. Michael Oher had left his invitation on the table. A fantastic article in the NYT Magazine by Michael Lewis, detailing the unusual story behind Michael Oher. via kottke
posted to Football at 7:02 PM CDT
That's quite an amazing story.
posted at 9:15 PM CDT on September 23
"'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,'"— that is all/ Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." In today's column on Red Sox prospect David Murphy, the Boston Globe's Nick Cafardo says Murphy's recent success is a reminder he has yet to deliver on the draft day hype, unlike 15 other 2003 draftees. One problem among other minor quibbles: 10 out of the 15 were not 2003 draftees. As sports fans get more information online, what is the role of the good ol' sports section?
posted to Other at 2:22 PM CDT
Cafardo? pwn3d.
posted at 6:55 PM CDT on September 18
SI's MLB Fan Value Index. Like the piece says - let the arguments begin.
posted to Baseball at 5:53 PM CDT
In the last few years I've been to Coors, BOB, and just last night Safeco. All of them were nice, but all were too expensive for my taste. I prefer more affordable venues.
posted at 11:19 PM CDT on September 13
Rick Mirer is the worst quarterback of all time*.
Steve Young is the best.
posted to Football at 1:57 PM CDT
"you forgot Jeff Hostetler"
Ah, Hostetler. I still vividly remember the sheer unadulterated terror in his eyes every time he lined up under center.
posted at 10:44 PM CDT on September 11
Professional football has a new all-time passing leader. Damon Allen breaks Warren Moon's record 70,553 career passing yards, and he's got at least one more season left in him.
posted to Football at 8:26 PM CDT
At the current exchange rate it's only 63,825 yards.
posted at 9:25 PM CDT on September 4
Jason Giambi is furry and riding shotgun - you got a problem with that?
Be sure not to miss the sidebar article, featuring the "All-Time Yankee 'Stache Roster".
posted to Baseball at 5:40 PM CDT
Watching the Yankees/Royals game now, and Giambi started the game wearing his mustache, but he apparently had time to shave between innings 'cause it's gone now.
posted at 9:31 PM CDT on September 4
Finn takes Gold at Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships. Showing once again why the Finns lead the world in new and innovative sports. Considering that competitors came from as far away as Canada, is it only a matter of time before this too is an Olympic sport? What the heck throwing a stick is and so throwing a really heavy Frisbee, so why not a phone?
posted to Other at 10:22 PM CDT
I expect this means Russell Crowe now has a hobby.
posted at 2:00 PM CDT on August 29
Edwards fined for hitting Earnhardt About time someone had the guts to bust Earnhardt's bubble. I think NASCAR shows too much favortism toward certain drivers and teams, Earnhardt being one of them.
posted to Auto Racing at 6:33 PM CDT
My concern is that it's become acceptable for the second-best car to wreck the best one, and that's not why I watch. I want to see the best car win, not the car with the ability to get its bumper under the leader for a split second. Unfortunately, it seems increasingly likely that NASCAR's refusal to penalize any driver for this sort of "win" is going to result in serious injury or death.
posted at 1:52 PM CDT on August 23
"His comment made it sound like it's always slower guys getting an opportunity to wreck a faster car, and that's just not the case. "
My intent was to say this: If the car running in second is faster, then he needs to pass, not wreck the first-place car. NASCAR's indifference to guys wrecking the leader instead of trying to pass is creating an ugly situation.
posted at 11:09 AM CDT on August 24
"bats right, throws right, farts left"
Destined to become an actual column on the backs of future baseball cards.