Fourth Metatarsal's profile

Fourth Metatarsal
14092
Member since: July 03, 2006
Last visit: July 15, 2006

Fourth Metatarsal has posted 0 links and 1 comment to SportsFilter and 0 links and 13 comments to the Locker Room.

Recent Comments

Yao the eco-warrior.

'If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it' Our foremost diplomat Prince Philip at the 1986 World Wildlife Fund conference Of course he also said the following to British exchange students in Beijing 1986 'If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty eyed' Not the most balanced of contributors to this debate really, is he.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 08:09 PM on August 05, 2006

World Cup question

Got it in an XL?

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 11:59 AM on July 05, 2006

World Cup question

also agreed about the experience of being knocked out. I was being a touch lumpy and melodramatic.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 11:53 AM on July 05, 2006

World Cup question

The much maligned Daily Mirror has provided reports on successive days that a) Rooney had to be restrained from crashing through the Portuguese dressing room door in anger, causing a mass brawl and thus allowing FIFA to ban him for the rest of the decade, and b) that he would break Cronaldo in half at the first Man United training session. Another possible Roo-reaction was given to us by Cronaldo in an interview, who said that this was all a diabolical fabrication on the part of the English press. Rooney had in fact been in Text / SMS contact with Cronaldo and told him that he was a great player and that Portugal deserved to go all the way to the final. Rooney has also issued a personal statement through his website (I’m pretty sure he didn’t set the site up himself, or actually decipher the platform of hieroglyphs known as a keyboard) where he again claims innocence of any violent conduct and regarding his team-mate offers "I bear no ill feeling to Cristiano but am disappointed he chose to get involved." Although the presence of a ghost-writer has never been more obvious as in the third example (he is an orangutan, after all), it probably reflects how this flashpoint will resolve. These international tournaments are only once every two years; Man United pays their way every day in between, and would not brook any dissension between their two young stars. Cronaldo to Real Madrid? Possibly not… when the position of president is vacant at a top Spanish club, the contenders for the role campaign on the basis of top stars that they will purchase after they win. Unfortunately for Cronaldo, the candidate who was using the Portuguese winger as the basis of his electioneering lost. Seeing as Cronaldo was jockeying for the move to Madrid, and of course his quiet words of reason in the Roo incident, he may have left himself a bit high and dry in England. And to whoever said it, I would cross the road to piss on Cronaldo if he was on fire. I would just ensure that I had sufficient tinder on my person to get the flames going again afterwards. Anyway, no anti-American bias on my part, just felt that geekyguy was needling me about my English whining, hypocrisy etc. Me and geekyguy are good. I had to endure an office shift with the benefit of a 2 day hangover, so my stalwart mate from China got the inevitable pantomime performance at the end of it all. The stages of being knocked out are as follows for an English bloke 1. Disbelief – what just happened? 2. Despair – no need for scribbling on that world cup wall-chart anymore and the fitness of key players, game over. 3. Jealousy – those other players are celebrating 4. Hatred – those Dagos are celebrating a bit too much 5. Paranoia – that ref is stifling a grin and tapping his foot 6. Injustice, injustice, injustice – this is where my chat forum rant stemmed from yesterday 7. A spot of self criticism – believe it or not, even the English media are recognising their error in overstating the quality of our players (although they are still saving most for our outgoing foreign manager) 7. Bemusement – meh. This wasn’t a tournament where sides just get knocked out on football. USA, Australia, Spain, Holland can all attest. 8. Acceptance and the Refusal to Learn Lessons – I can put this in the same category as all those other glorious English defeats. We hold the moral high ground (if not the footballing high ground, as we played gash for the whole tournament, except for our defence) Despite this thread being concerned with the nefarious ways of modern football, I think I have just finished watching one of the finest games of football of any world cup. It was between Germany and Italy, wholly a surprise as the mention of both teams normally evokes images of laughable tumbles akin to what you’d see if you spun round a bunch of p*ssed up tramps and pushed them on an ice rink. The World Cup has begun to redeem itself. All it needs is for 2 more positively played games and someone en-route to break Cronaldo’s leg and wink over to their manager as if to say ‘job done boss’. I’m a bitter, bitter person.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 05:34 PM on July 04, 2006

World Cup question

The British do always point at the Spanish and label them under-achievers, but I think you’ve mistaken empathy for misplaced smugness. The only good thing to come from this disappointment is that I have discovered Football 365, with its mountains of free grot. And don’t be labeling me as a blinkered malcontent island dweller, or preaching football to me when you’ve borne witness to a single international tournament. (watching a 3 minute musical montage of the last 10 world cups to the tune of ‘We Built This City on Rock n Roll’ by Starship does not count incidentally.) In mitigation for all that I’ve just said, I believed that America had never beaten a holder of the World Cup trophy before, one of the big boys; I was wrong. I’d forgotten entirely about England’s first foray into World Cup football in 1950, and our 1 – 0 thrashing by you guys. I concede any last vestiges of authority. - Jonny

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 06:00 PM on July 03, 2006

World Cup question

And to another lazy stereotype - the World Cup Organising Committee yesterday pronounced the largest contingent of foreign fans, the English, to be the best in the world after their largely exemplary behaviour in Germany. I’m pretty sick of the guttering that English sport has to go through from former denizens of a long dismantled empire. Go and knock on historian Niall Ferguson’s door if you want to take it out on some Imperialist apologist. I’m very much in the defensive position here. But if I retaliated on an American website, I would be absolutely lambasted if I brought up the absurdity of Bruce Arena claiming his team to be superior to half of the teams in the tournament when they gained a single point from what turned out to be a much over-rated group, or such mangled terminology as ‘Offense / Defense / Overtime / Plays / Questionable calls / Stepping it up / Game theory / Top-tier keeper variables’ etc, and the lingering obsession with calling a mid level British club level journeyman like Reyna ‘world-class’. But I won’t, that would smack of parochialism, and the world cup is, after all, about a true ‘world series’, that actually involves the world. And you got equally duped as us by officiating.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 06:00 PM on July 03, 2006

World Cup question

It comes as it always does to semantics. GG would include Cronaldo’s intimidatory plea to the referee, and Rivaldo (post-correction) in the class of gamesmanship. I would define these acts, like Ying Yang, euphemistically as bad sportsmanship, realistically as something that uses a lot of crude Anglo-Saxon. Gamesmanship is getting in the head of the opposition player, but competing as it is, on a level playing field. Cronaldo’s pre-match butt and whisper in Rooney’s ear is gamesmanship, getting in the head of a competitor with a suspect temperament. Bad sportsmanship is looking to influence the officiating, to avoiding punishment when you break the rules, to gain an advantage in the manner the game is conducted. As is the case with the FIFA’s referees, pincered between commercialism and the necessity of appearing tough, Cronaldo absolutely duped the ref, in the same way as he did Rooney. His actions were demonstrative of both gamesmanship and bad sportsmanship. Cronaldo is such a great guy that even before this incident he was unquestionably the most-hated of all foreign imports in the English premiership (that’s where we play football outside of the world cup, by the way) – a guy that even made one of his (non-British) team-mates tell him that his Dad should teach him some new tricks, mere weeks after his father had died.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 06:00 PM on July 03, 2006

World Cup question

The secondary headline in England’s warm up to Rooney’s metatarsal was the controversy of Gerard’s fall that earnt a penalty against Hungary. Was it a dive, a jump out of the threat of contact, or genuine? Indeed, the penalty was missed; that the integrity of the scouse powerhouse was to be questioned so long after the incident, which could not be deemed crucial in any sense to the final result, coming as it did in a comfortable victory in a practice game, is revealing, and of the same theme that NY Texan suggests, no one is beyond a dubious loss of balance. Then, in Argentina’s first game in this tournament, the substitute Lionel Messi took to the field wearing boots burnished with the phrase ‘El mano de Dios ‘86‘, meaning ‘Hand of God 86’, a commemoration of easily the most iconic act of blatant cheating in the history of world sport, Maradonna’s handball goal that initiated England’s departure from World Cup 86 and Argentina’s run to the podium. Similar revulsions of blinkered piety could be felt when Cronaldo looked wearily and thankfully to the heavens when he sunk the crucial penalty in the recent shoot out.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 05:59 PM on July 03, 2006

World Cup question

FIFA had claimed that this world cup would see a clampdown on the twin curses of diving and players urging the ref to brandish cards on the opposition. Apart from the odd ‘Hollywood’ moment, this has not come to pass. Witness the phantom Italian penalty in the last minute against Australia, Henry’s mysterious facial, and, though this isn’t to curry favour, the false Ghanian penalty against America. The referees are in a bind; FIFA urge them to clean up the game, but at the same time there is huge indirect commercial pressure placed upon them not to make decisions that are regarded as controversial as they go against the grain of modern football. One of the best performances this world cup was from the guy who dished out cards like it was Christmas, the guy in charge of Holland Portugal, a mendacious display of diving, professional fouls, and referee baiting from two teams with the capacity for supremely skillful attacking football. But it was against the grain. Machiavellian should never have to be used adjectivally for great footballing sides. A lot is made of the moral high ground that the English create for themselves when losing sporting contests, a subjective delusion to guise plain old defeat. Call me the editor of a red top if you like, but I would argue for that principle. Owen, the only internationally recognized exponent of high board diving in the English squad, has never been favoured for that reason, and his achievements as one of England’s all time highest scorers are always brought into bleak focus by his penchant for the continental roly-poly, a fact that even the most pun-worthy of tabloids will raise. The 98 Argentina tumble has been largely ignored due to the brilliance of the succeeding goal he scored, and more importantly the parallel Batistuta tumble and Simone / Beckham sniper incident that meant it was to be another ‘glorious’ failure. The 02 Argentina tumble is not seen as a ‘glorious’ victory; the dubious nature of the penalty and the ominous nature of England’s ‘hiding under the duvet’ approach to going a goal up made sure of that.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 05:59 PM on July 03, 2006

World Cup question

If referees sent players off for such pushes, or even allowed to influence sending offs, then 99% of games would become one on one face offs between the two goalies. And hey, they better watch themselves too eh. So, neatly on to playing the ref then. I think you claimed that Cronaldo’s 30 yard sprint over to the incident could’ve been either a desire to listen to the ensuing debate the foul generated, or merely pointing out to the ref that it was a foul. The fact that his eyes were focused on the referee, he was furiously shouting and gesturing to his buddy’s groin negates any possibility that he could have been listening to anyone else’s view, merely interested in pressing his own vendetta. This invalidates point 1. Point 2 can be similarly swept away by the sight of the referee clearly indicating a foul when Cronaldo had only begun his aggressive gallop towards the incident. The only possible interpretation can be that Cronaldo was urging further punitive measures on Rooney.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 05:59 PM on July 03, 2006

World Cup question

The notion that it was anything but an intentional stamp is also being seriously questioned, and by people who don’t have the cross of St George’s tattooed on their gonads, for your information. But that would just be a fruitless back and forth of indeterminate logistics by non-athletes, so let’s take it as conscious. How important was the push? Not very according to the referee’s post match comments, he issued a red card for the stamp alone. Easy to say in hindsight; what self-respecting referee looking to officiate over the tournament final would ever admit that such an anemic push would sway his opinion. But looking at the replays, as the English footballing public, basting in their masochistic sense of injustice are wont to do, you can see a marked distinction between the referee’s infantile fear of making a big decision before the push, and his assumed air of self-righteous conviction subsequently. If we take the push as crucial to the decision, then we are entering the realm of ifs and buts and pots and pans. But indulge for a couple sentences more. GG, you feel that the stomp alone was a yellow, possibly a red, but the push itself made it a done deal in the referee’s eyes, as you make clear from your subtle use of bold text: The fact that he couldn't control himself and felt the need to shove C.Ronaldo right in front of the ref...well, that's not Ronaldo's fault Rooney got the red. I apologise for quoting you directly GG, but this is the point I really have to amend. Had you seen any Premiership / Champions League / Euro Championships football before, you would be able to recognise that Cronaldo, despite being a powerfully fit, rapid and agile player, is mysteriously unable to maintain an upright posture in the face of physical contact comparable to a nursery (sorry kindergarten) child’s pat. Had Rooney’s push been any more forceful than the lazy stretch of a foetus in the first quarter of the gestative period, we may have seen our first on-field fatality of this or any world cup, God forbid.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 05:58 PM on July 03, 2006

World Cup question

Rooney was used like a climbing frame for 10 seconds prior to the stamp. This is beyond doubt. But why wasn’t it a foul? Because the snipers on the stadium roof were not targeting the English squad. True, if Michael Owen hadn’t tried to do ‘The Mashed Potato’ in the opening moments of the Swedish match, and Joe Cole had reproduced Chelsea form, then we may have seen some top-class English diving. However, Rooney has not attended the Lisbon branch of the Royal Academy of Amateur Dramatics, and tried to keep to his feet. (puns about misplaced feet later please.) It was a struggle for possession, but the possession was indisputably, however precariously, Rooney’s. Modern football wiles dictate that if, like Rooney, you are struggling to keep possession and being forced towards goal by two opposition players pressuring and tugging at you, you slip over and get the free kick. This is a nigh on accepted cynicism of the modern game, and strikes me as massively ironic that GG is invoking another accepted cynicism, the right of opposition players to barrack the referee (note: he is not an umpire). If the first opportunity to break the rules covertly had been taken, then I would not have been embroiled in a playground fight over the second. The midget ‘punk’ as you called him on several baffling occasions should’ve played the ref and avoided this whole rigmarole that is generating sweaty pits for myself in this typing fervor.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 05:58 PM on July 03, 2006

World Cup question

I would try to refrain from the personal – but my, within the space of a few posts it was inferred that I was an example of ‘English whining’, a hypocrite, positing that I was in denial, and that I would find it hard ‘to credibly take the high road’. And that was from GG! Sorry I visited you out there now mate. And JJ, cheers for telling me about how the British press are manipulating our poor little brains. Except, should you have actually logged on to a Brit newspaper that sprinkles the odd polysyllabic word in, you would find both points to be rubbish. Sorry, garbage I mean. You’re doing a great job of deconstructing that national stereotype of offensive complacency. I guess I’ll go on meeting a lot of American guys with Maple Leaves stitched to their travelling bags. To the incident, and I will try to be objective, a statement to which many of you no doubt conceived of replying with that smiley with the sardonic eyebrow.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 05:58 PM on July 03, 2006

World Cup question

This is horrible. I said I would never post on an internet chat forum. But its an overcast evening so I thought I would address some of the bile coming my way after my ‘buddy’ from China put me as a featured link in a post. Firstly GG, I’m not actually not too bothered that you put a rather conveniently topped and tailed selection of the MSN conversation we had while I was patently still half-cut from the night before. But then I read on… and it was incredible – the bitter conjunction of naked Anglophobia and chat room bitchiness. Harem politics – but transplanting furiously opinionated keyboard-grafted chimpanzees for hot chicks.

posted by Fourth Metatarsal at 05:57 PM on July 03, 2006