- 03:44 AM
- 11/22/09
The Yankees are spending a lot of salary money, yes, but they do spend their money wisely considering the goal is to win championships and they've won 27 of them.
How much have the Cubs spent since 1908? How much did the Red Sox spend from 1918 to 2004?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 03:40 PM on November 05
I don't think anyone's defending her, THX-1138. If this is true, what she did is pretty reprehensible.
However, to pile on because of her appearance is pretty juvenile.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 03:22 PM on October 21
Ufez, I'm with you, brother. You too, BoKnows.
What a disappointing thread.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 03:17 PM on October 21
Yeah, rcade, are you prejudiced against antisemitics or what?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:39 AM on October 17
Look, he's King James, not Doctor J.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 01:26 PM on October 16
Who would bother to visit a "hall of fame" with only five members, anyway? Unless you happened to be in the neighborhood already and they were only charging a couple of bucks it seems like it wouldn't be much of a value.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 07:27 PM on October 14
Dave Checketts has always seemed pretty slimy to me, so I guess they deserve each other.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:39 PM on October 06
He sounds like quite a guy. I wouldn't even bet against him in an ass-kicking contest.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:13 AM on October 02
"My brother and I went to see a game there in May, and our lower box seats cost $42."
Well guess what, chump, you're part of the problem. Stop spending your money at the ballpark! Stop watching games. Stop buying MLB merchandise. If enough people tune out, maybe they'll get the hint.
/end wishful-thinking rant
posted by mr_crash_davis at 08:03 PM on September 19
"Wicked last-lap crash into a barrier from yesterday's Italian GP. That will give you a headache."
Gave me a headache just watching it!
posted by mr_crash_davis at 02:45 PM on September 14
This just gets more and more bizarre.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:19 PM on September 10
'But it cures athletes foot, right?'
Although it apparently has no effect on jock itch.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:18 PM on September 10
My daughter was at her high school's football game last night, and one of the opposing team's fans peed into a bottle and then threw it into the visiting team's stands. What the hell is the matter with some people?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 04:38 PM on September 05
Hout: "You like apples? Well, I got her numbah. How you like them apples?"
posted by mr_crash_davis at 04:54 PM on September 04
Is that a condition of his return to the NFL as agreed to with the commissioner? Because his supervised release form from the court shows he is only to "refrain from excessive use of alcohol", as seen here.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 01:02 PM on August 23
Last link ("post-fight antics") is dead.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 05:22 PM on July 12
It's good to see he's rolled with the punches, turned over a new leaf, and is sowing the seeds of success.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 06:05 PM on July 10
Huh, I wouldn't have scored that a steal of third base, but it's pretty impressive nonetheless.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:31 PM on May 13
I was at the game last night, and the kid owned the A's hitters.
What a sad end to a young life.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 04:52 PM on April 09
I wouldn't want to stand toe-to-toe with Valuev in the ring even if I was armed with an Uzi. He's about the most physically intimidating fighter I have ever seen.
I can't even imagine what Holyfield is thinking. He's going to get his head busted.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 03:14 PM on December 20
I watched Rickey play for the Ogden A's (AAA, PCL) in 1979, back when I was still in Little League. I think somewhere in a closet I have an official minor-league game ball that Rickey fouled off into the right-field stands one of the times we got free tickets for being Little Leaguers.
I remember laughing at his super-crouching stance the first time I saw it - but within a couple of weeks we were all trying to imitate it because it seemed like Rickey was always getting on base.
He was already an amazing base-stealer then. He stole something like 45 bases in the half-season he was here, which was almost enough to lead the league for the whole season.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 09:04 PM on December 13
Sorry, "SOCCER" was supposed to have a strikeout tag through it. Damned if I can figure out what's what since the format change.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 01:03 AM on September 21
I guess "Volkswagen Field" is out, too.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 03:47 PM on September 12
He finished the inning? Ballsy.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 02:32 PM on July 03
I offered every team in the league the same deal, and I haven't gotten any calls either.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:22 PM on June 28
"bats right, throws right, farts left" Destined to become an actual column on the backs of future baseball cards.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:11 AM on April 15
It looks to me like he hit the oil that was laid down by the car that was qualifying just a few minutes earlier (David Gilliland.) Jamie McMurray was complaining that there was oil on the track during his attempt right after Gilliland (and two cars before McDowell). I also think the puff coach mentions wasn't smoke, it was speedy-dry.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 08:47 PM on April 05
"Despite claims to the contrary by Lee Trevino, he's also known for his proficiency with a 1-iron ..." Perfect.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 02:21 PM on March 22
Watching ESPN right now, they're interviewing Varitek in the dugout. The game has not started, and doesn't look like it will unless the Sox players get their way.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:32 AM on March 19
"What the fuck is Q School??" You're kidding, right? Q School
posted by mr_crash_davis at 09:41 AM on March 15
NASCAR doesn't take away wins from teams caught cheating, as we learned last year and the year before and the year before, etc.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 04:20 PM on March 06
"Why do you have roosters cutting your grass?" Because the the little peckers will work for less than the Dominicans will.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 02:10 PM on February 08
I figured this would show up here. It's awesome. Don't crank it up if you're at work, though. NSFW language.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 09:08 PM on February 01
"I have been a teacher in Texas for 9 years and football coaches consistenly make about twice what my cieling is." Mustn't make comment about spelling...mustn't make comment about spelling...
posted by mr_crash_davis at 09:01 PM on January 15
One of our local TV news stations reported on this as being "the first hockey game ever played outdoors", which I thought was pretty funny.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 03:12 PM on January 02
"Didn't Evel use a ROCKET to jump the grand canyon?" No, he used a rocket to fall into the Snake River Canyon.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 09:59 AM on January 02
I like it. "Hey, Pro Bowler, why don't you do what the fans pay to see you do?"
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:11 PM on December 28
"P.S. Somebody please come up with a better name than 'Spygate.' I refuse to believe that this country is so intellectually lazy that every scandal has to be slapped with a name ending in '-gate.' I'll brainstorm." Spyaholics?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 06:08 PM on December 25
Just wait until we can genetically engineer people into rectangular shapes.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:24 PM on December 13
Hopefully the deal also includes A-Rod firing Boras.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 09:37 PM on November 15
"What if some racist fan caught the record breaking ball and wanted to put an asterisk on it with his editorial comments. Would the HOF display it? Of course not but it is the same thing." Actually it's not, but you go ahead and run with that.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 03:58 PM on November 03
A six-and-a-half-year-old article? Really?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:28 PM on October 31
How odd that you posted this one year to the day after I posted this.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 01:16 PM on August 27
I wanna see some of those racial epitaphs that were eluded to.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 05:26 PM on August 21
Matt "Guitar" Murphy?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:04 AM on August 08
Very much UK-centric, but still entertaining.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:56 PM on August 03
"Search and replace" is an awesome feature of word processing programs: Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's personager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team. Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players. Abbott: I certainly do. Costello: Well you know I've never met the persons. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team. Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names. Costello: You mean funny names? Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean... Costello: Zir sibling Daffy. Abbott: Daffy Dean... Costello: And their French cousin. Abbott: French? Costello: Goofè. Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third... Costello: That's what I want to find out. Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third. Costello: Are you the personager? Abbott: Yes. Costello: You gonna be the coach too? Abbott: Yes. Costello: And you don't know the persons' names? Abbott: Well I should. Costello: Well then who's on first? Abbott: Yes. Costello: I mean the person's name. Abbott: Who. Costello: The person on first. Abbott: Who. Costello: The first baseperson. Abbott: Who. Costello: The person playing... Abbott: Who is on first! Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first. Abbott: That's the person's name. Costello: That's who's name? Abbott: Yes. Costello: Well go ahead and tell me. Abbott: That's it. Costello: That's who? Abbott: Yes. PAUSE Costello: Look, you gotta first baseperson? Abbott: Certainly. Costello: Who's playing first? Abbott: That's right. Costello: When you pay off the first baseperson every month, who gets the money? Abbott: Every dollar of it. Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the person's name on first base. Abbott: Who. Costello: The person that gets... Abbott: That's it. Costello: Who gets the money... Abbott: Zie does, every dollar. Sometimes zir partner comes down and collects it. Costello: Whose partner? Abbott: Yes. PAUSE Abbott: What's wrong with that? Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseperson, how does zie sign zir name? Abbott: Who. Costello: The person. Abbott: Who. Costello: How does zie sign... Abbott: That's how zie signs it. Costello: Who? Abbott: Yes. PAUSE Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the person's name on first base. Abbott: No. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: One base at a time! Abbott: Well, don't change the players around. Costello: I'm not changing nobody! Abbott: Take it easy, buddy. Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the person on first base? Abbott: That's right. Costello: Ok. Abbott: All right. PAUSE Costello: What's the person's name on first base? Abbott: No. What is on second. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: Zie's on third, we're not talking about zir. Costello: Now how did I get on third base? Abbott: Why you mentioned zir name. Costello: If I mentioned the third baseperson's name, who did I say is playing third? Abbott: No. Who's playing first. Costello: What's on first? Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: Zie's on third. Costello: There I go, back on third again! PAUSE Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it. Abbott: All right, what do you want to know? Costello: Now who's playing third base? Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello: What am I putting on third. Abbott: No. What is on second. Costello: You don't want who on second? Abbott: Who is on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: Look, you gotta outfield? Abbott: Sure. Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: I just thought I'd ask you. Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya. Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field. Abbott: Who's playing first. Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the person's name in left field? Abbott: No, What is on second. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first! Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: Because! Abbott: Oh, zie's centerfield. PAUSE Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team? Abbott: Sure. Costello: The pitcher's name? Abbott: Tomorrow. Costello: You don't want to tell me today? Abbott: I'm telling you now. Costello: Then go ahead. Abbott: Tomorrow! Costello: What time? Abbott: What time what? Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching? Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name? Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: Gotta catcher? Abbott: Certainly. Costello: The catcher's name? Abbott: Today. Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching. Abbott: Now you've got it. Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team. PAUSE Costello: You know I'm a catcher too. Abbott: So they tell me. Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When zie bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the person out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who? Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right. Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about! PAUSE Abbott: That's all you have to do. Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base. Abbott: Yes! Costello: Now who's got it? Abbott: Naturally. PAUSE Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Naturally? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally. Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's different. Costello: That's what I said. Abbott: You're not saying it... Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You throw it to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's it. Costello: That's what I said! Abbott: You ask me. Costello: I throw the ball to who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Now you ask me. Abbott: You throw the ball to Who? Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's it. Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the person runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another person gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! Zie's on third and I don't give a darn! Abbott: What? Costello: I said I don't give a darn! Abbott: Oh, that's our vertically-challenged stop.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:36 PM on August 01
It's a good thing smoking in public places and carrying handguns are illegal in jolly old England, isn't it?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 02:20 PM on July 27
Udderly ridiculous.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:05 PM on July 10
And I can't get my healthy teenagers to walk to the corner store.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 08:01 PM on July 01
My daughter thinks this is awesome. "Move the couch, we're gonna take some batting practice!"
posted by mr_crash_davis at 07:50 PM on July 01
To paraphrase Cleavon Little in Blazing Saddles, that's where all the white women are.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 04:00 PM on June 20
Back when I was a teenager I attended a drag race on a 4th of July weekend. The American flag was presented at the starting line by a scantily-clad babe on the back of a Harley which was being driven by a large hairy biker dude. The national anthem was sung, and the Harley started off down the track towards the finish line, bikini-babe waving and smiling at the crowd as they cheered. As they reached about half-track, two funny cars lit their engines and prepared to do their burnouts. For some inexplicable reason, aforementioned biker dude thought it would be cool to turn around and make another pass up the track. The entire crowd gasped in unison at the sight of the two funny cars, tires smoking and shrieking, barrelling down the track at the no-longer-waving-or-smiling bikini babe and her hirsute pilot who were just then realizing they were driving head-on into 10000 horsepower. There couldn't have been a foot of clearance on either side of the Harley as the cars blasted past it. I still cringe thinking about it, and that was easily 20 years ago.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:15 AM on June 18
Only 9,998 more posts about this to go.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 05:44 PM on June 14
Fungooli, looks like your friend was misinformed. It's Hendrick.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:10 AM on June 13
"Fans would line the streets leading away from Walton's house on game nights to cheer him on as he rode his bicycle to the arena." That's a joke, right? An NBA player ... riding a bicycle? In public? The times, they have a-changed.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 02:44 PM on June 12
Blah blah blah yakkity shmakkity posted by CAGON Ancient Chinese secret, huh?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 09:46 PM on June 01
Stop the presses: Lakers' Bryant backs off trade demand.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 09:15 PM on May 30
Tarkenton doesn't-like these newfangled quarterbacks
"...watching Tarkenton run for his life with that deer on the interstate look in his eyes..."
Marc Wilson always looked like that to me. I don't recall Tarkenton that way.