- 11:23 AM
- 03/22/10
Last night, at least, I was really struck by how much the Celts looked like the KG-led, outside-shooting Wolves teams I used to watch fall apart under Flip Saunders in the playoffs every year. So if the Celts do go on to play the Pistons, I'm kind of afraid of some sort of reality-destroying Flip-Saunders-induced feedback loop. Watch out.
posted by cobra! at 12:56 PM on May 15
Actually, now that I've had a day to digest, I like the trade a little more. It'll suck not having KG as a Wolf, but I really find myself looking forward to seeing what he can do with legitimate help in the East-- Pierce and Allen are head and shoulders above Sam Cassell and the ghost of Latrell Sprewell, and that combo was enough to get Garnett to the WCF. And on the Wolves side, maybe it's not a disaster. It's a gamble, a huge one, but the truth is that they were going nowhere. It's still hardly a sure thing that they'll go anywhere (and no matter what, I think I'm looking at at least one season where 30 is about as many wins as you can expect from the Wolves), but at least they've taken the big step. One local sportswriter summed it up: maybe it's better to watch a 20-win team with some hope for the future than it is to watch a 30-win team that's doomed for the long term.
posted by cobra! at 11:00 AM on July 31
Oh, and it disappoints me to hear that this doesn't look good from the Celtics' perspective, either. I was sort of hoping to balance out the next few years of Wolves suckage by at least getting to watch KG kick some ass in the East.
posted by cobra! at 04:50 PM on July 30
There was also some discussion of the Wolves getting the Celtics draft picks for the next hundred years. No, the Curse of Herschel Walker is pretty clear about stating that draft picks are only allowed to hemorrhage out of Minnesota, not in.
posted by cobra! at 04:46 PM on July 30
Bad. I guess it's good that the Wolves are getting out of the "we're just one piece away" mentality. But still, I don't think they're getting equal value, and I don't trust McHale to use these new pieces and the draft pick to build anything. Basketball in Minnesota's going to be a drag for a while.
posted by cobra! at 04:39 PM on July 30
All I know is "you can't roller skate in a buffalo herd." posted by tommytrump at 8:42 PM CDT on May 16 Nor can you take a shower in a parakeet cage. Or drive around with a tiger in your car. But someone should tell Stern that he can be happy he's a-mind to.
posted by cobra! at 09:25 AM on May 17
I'd totally swallowed the "Flip Saunders is coming back" hype, and was excited about it. Felt a little let down when this news came out; but, stepping back, it actually seems surprising that the Gophers could lure a coach with any sort of pedigree who didn't have local ties. I dunno. If nothing else, it's hard not to get behind a guy named Tubby.
posted by cobra! at 08:55 AM on March 23
Unless there's some sort of serious locker-room trouble that we haven't heard about, this is a pretty horseshit firing (although not quite as horseshit as Flip's was). The team's not great, talent-wise, but they're not total washouts-- and things were looking up before this four-game skid. I don't think McHale will be around much longer than the end of this season. Glen Taylor pretty much admitted earlier this year that Fred Hoiberg was being groomed for the GM job. It's tough to say whether Hoiberg would be a good GM (especially if McHale's doing the grooming), but it'd be nice to at least have someone new to bitch about.
posted by cobra! at 07:06 PM on January 23
If I was KG, I would be ticked off. The one chance for the T'wolves to bring in a player that can make a big enough impact to possibly make a huge playoff/championship run, and Kevin McHale fails, YET AGAIN. According to the (very possibly full of shit) Minneapolis media, the sticking point with the Wolves was that Philly wouldn't consider any deal that didn't include Foye, and McHale refused to put him on the table. I actually think this shows unusual savvy on McHale's part, for once thinking about the mid-to-long term instead of sacrificing everything for right now. I like Iverson, but hate the Nuggets, so I guess at this point I just have to hope that we see a lof of gears grinding into each other.
posted by cobra! at 09:08 AM on December 20
And thus began the Great Joe Smith Comeback of '07. Just watch as he leads Philly to the promised land.
posted by cobra! at 03:06 PM on December 19
I have been hearing that too, but assumed the price was high and the likelihood of AI being happy in Minnesota was low. I only give it a shred of credence because Robson at City Pages has been one of the talkers, and he usually has some sense (his argument is that KG would be the big draw for AI). But yeah, the price just doesn't seem worth it-- on top of losing Foye, the Wolves would wind up without a bench. And while KG and AI aren't that old, they're old enough that they'd need some support. On the other hand, if losing the bench included Troy Hudson, maybe it would be worth it.
posted by cobra! at 09:43 AM on December 13
It's funny. The local media in Minneapolis are frothing over with talk of Iverson landing here (me? I say it'd be sorta cool, but we'd have to lose the first signs of a nucleus for future growth that the Wolves have shown in a long, long time), but we never get mentioned nationally. I assume I'm just the victim of homeristic sports journalism.
posted by cobra! at 08:49 AM on December 13
Yeah, you're friends are no officionado's, man.
posted by cobra! at 01:19 PM on October 17
When Childress makes this sort of statement, it's extra-effective because he's a dead ringer for Major Dad.
posted by cobra! at 01:29 PM on October 10
Ah, Hostetler. I still vividly remember the sheer unadulterated terror in his eyes every time he lined up under center. The quivering little mustache didn't really help his tough-guy look, either.
posted by cobra! at 08:47 AM on September 12
I'm here for the metaphor, the crucible that hardens men (ooh!) to diamond-like perfection or breaks them on the Todd Marinovich Memorial Anvil. I agree; but in Minneapolis, at least, there are a lot more people who want excruciatingly-detailed examination of every minute aspect of the lives of the rosters of the Twins/Vikings/Wolves/Wild/etc, preferably leavened with some side-splitting pop-culture references. And, sadly, they buy more papers.
posted by cobra! at 10:43 AM on August 22
Hey, that was great. I can read Wallace on tennis all day. Infinite Jest and the two tennis articles in A Supposedly... were the first things that really got me interested in the game.
posted by cobra! at 09:25 AM on August 22
Very, cery cool. Thanks. It's interesting-- the pics make it look like they'd lose some seating capacity in the opening for the field tray, but 63k is a pretty decent capacity.
posted by cobra! at 09:58 AM on August 17
Anywhere else we non-Insiders can read about it? Sounds hella cool.
posted by cobra! at 09:09 AM on August 17
Remind me, how many Denny Green coached teams have made the big dance?? I'm not an immense Denny Green fan, but the '98 Vikings were a field goal away.
posted by cobra! at 04:50 PM on July 25
Chico like candy?
posted by cobra! at 02:04 PM on July 21
I doubt Bonkers likes to be called "Shirley."
posted by cobra! at 09:17 AM on July 14
Why does everyone (love to) hate Patrick Roy? I know absolutely nothing about hockey, but I've always felt sort of pro-Roy on principle just because Hunter Thompson seemed to like him a lot. Maybe Thompson's not the best guy for me to crib opinions from...
posted by cobra! at 09:11 AM on June 29
There's no way that Selig or anyone else is going to add an asterix (or anything else) to Barry's record. My respect for Bud Selig would skyrocket if he added Asterix to anybody's record.
posted by cobra! at 02:50 PM on May 25
Yeah, and then Jimmy Carter took them out. I don't think that's true... Bob Garfield did a bit for NPR several years ago about raising enough hell with the White House PR office that he got to take his family in and bowl, and that was post-Carter. Maybe Reagan or Bush put 'em back in.
posted by cobra! at 03:02 PM on May 11
On preview: Why am I engaging in this conversation? Rick Adelman throws out topics like this to distract us while he works to restablish his empire. He hooked us all.
posted by cobra! at 03:06 PM on May 10
1. Adelman gets this year's Flip Saunders award for getting jobbed after years of doing a lot with a little. 2. He also looks like Hitler.
posted by cobra! at 10:47 AM on May 10
I dont see why most people are Kobe haters. He is the best player by far in the world. He carried that Laker team on his shoulders. He is an inside presence away from winning it all. Imagine this Kobe to KG on the low post. Perfect place for KG to go where he doesnt have to be the go to guy. A) A big, big part of sports fandom is being able to irrationally hate the other guy without there being any real-world consequences. Kobe Bryant's eminently hatable, and getting my hate on for him provides the outlet that (maybe) keeps me from doing a machete rampage through my office. B) If the Wolves were to fuck up and somehow allow KG to go to the Lakers, you would see that machete rampage.
posted by cobra! at 01:40 PM on May 09
Will they rest their hopes on the 37-year old Brad Johnson? posted by bperk at 3:26 PM CST on March 9 My guess, if Culpepper actually leaves: they either draft or try to acquire a young project quarterback, and then try to squeeze a year out of Johnson while the new acquisition matures.
posted by cobra! at 09:13 AM on March 10
Just goes to show being smart means jack Yes. Clearly.
posted by cobra! at 02:03 PM on February 28
In other NFL personnel shuffle news, the Minneapolis paper is reporting that the Vikes are shopping Daunte Culpepper around, looking for a second-round pick in return. There's a fall in status for you.
posted by cobra! at 10:27 AM on February 16
My car is made of tainted steel. It smells pretty bad.
posted by cobra! at 03:11 PM on February 14
Gary Anderson's first miss of the season for the 1998-99 Vikings.
posted by cobra! at 04:49 PM on February 06
One of the first football games I ever went to was a Nebraska-Oklahoma State game when Sanders played for OSU. I vaguely remember making a sign about how much he sucked. Which, oops. - As for Emmitt: for me, it's only recently that I've started giving him the respect he deserves. I hated the Cowboys with the hottest passion of any of my sport associations during his prime, so I was pretty blind to how good he was.
posted by cobra! at 03:23 PM on February 02
Blair High School, Blair NE, 1989-93. It wasn't prison, but at the time, it felt like it.
posted by cobra! at 09:57 AM on January 27
Bad Coaches in my high school: 1. I was on the Cross Country team, and our coach wasn't so much bad as half-assed. Dude was very doughy, clearly hadn't run a yard in ten years, and had generated zero respect from the team. Every practice was the same: he'd give us a route to run through town, and would then cruise around in his Camero to check and make sure we were actually running. The Camero always needed a brake job, so you could hear it a couple of miles away and start running whenever you heard it. We got smoked at every meet. 2. I didn't play football, but the football coach also taught several PE classes. He'd hang out in the locker room between periods and take a piss. For some reason, he felt that he couldn't piss in cloths, so he'd strip down to nothing but shoes (well, sometimes he'd keep a football jersey on, but pants/underwear were consistently gone) and parade over to the urinals; once there, he'd make a big production of getting things arranged. It was pretty horrifying. And this same routine went down every period break. He would also chide students who wrapped towels around themselves on the way to the shower: "Don't be ashamed of what God gave you!" He liked to do surprise inspections to make sure everyone was wearing a jock. He once gave a mouthy kid a really creepy lecture about how "I took you up to that weight room and taught you how to be a man... I'll give you teary eyes." Cooooooooooooool guy.
posted by cobra! at 09:19 AM on January 27
Pluis Blount is the most frustrating big man I've ever watched. Oh, don't worry. Olowokandi will be glad to swipe that title.
posted by cobra! at 09:09 AM on January 27
Seconded. I love Hoiberg as a player, but he also seems like a decent human being and it'd be a damned shame if he did more than he could handle.
posted by cobra! at 09:44 AM on January 23
1. Really nice article; I immediately recognized the subculture you're talking about. I know a lot of Duluth-area folks who live the lifestyle, with fat-tired bikes subbing in for skis (and snowboards) during the summer. I always think it'd be a cool world to live in. 2. The Frank Deford bit that yerfatma links to was so awesome that, when I heard it, I started pumping my fist and yelling "fuck, yeah, Deford!" to my steering wheel.
posted by cobra! at 11:28 AM on January 18
I think Tice just wasn't head coaching material, at least not yet. If he goes somewhere else and works as a coordinator for a while, he could have a good second shot-- the guy clearly does know how to have a rapport with players (although that cut both ways; when the players think of the coach as a nice guy and not The Boss, they're more likely to scuttle the team's stadium efforts with boat orgies and yard-peeing). You're right that Childress will be getting some tools to work with, although I think there'll be some reshuffling as Wylf tries to remake the team. Red was definitely not good for the organization.
posted by cobra! at 11:59 AM on January 06
It's (at least potentially) a step in the right direction. Pretty much any coach would be a marked improvement over Tice. The real question with the Vikings is what happens to their defense-- Ted Cottrell had finally banged something into shape, but the early consensus is that Childress would want to bring in all-new coordinators, which makes me worry that the defense would essentially be hitting the reset button.
posted by cobra! at 10:37 AM on January 06
I don't think so... it was a sparsely-attended game, though, so I know he heard me. If nothing else, the little kids sitting a few seats down enjoyed yelling it with me. You can learn lots of history from drunken baseball fans, it turns out.
posted by cobra! at 04:50 PM on January 05
I like Canada quite a bit, but the only time I've ever enjoyed a baseball game was when I had a few too many at a Twins game and started yelling, "Fifty-four forty or fight!" at the Blue Jays' base coach. Nationality can be just another handy angle from which to heckle, without meaning anything deeper.
posted by cobra! at 04:15 PM on January 05
Do any members of the current Bears team have special-order GI Joe figures in their likeness? Nope. Case closed.
posted by cobra! at 01:11 PM on December 02
Mariucci's getting the shaft Yeah, but it's a shaft worth over $13 million, the balance the Lions owe on his contract. True that. More proof that shaft-reception is a relative thing. Why's everyone looking at me like that?
posted by cobra! at 03:35 PM on November 28
Did anyone else think she was really hot? No, but Karen Duffy was. Yes to both.
posted by cobra! at 01:06 PM on November 28
Even before Millen actually took over, I remember a period of intense ass-kissing when everyone was talking about how great he was going to be with the Lions, and how awesome it was that such a wonderful man was getting the position, and blah blah blah. I've been anti-Millen ever since, just on hype principles. Mariucci's getting the shaft, but he'll probably land on his feet. And the Lions will continue to suck indefinitely.
posted by cobra! at 01:05 PM on November 28
I think the Ditka one's actually fairly dignified. it's hard to look like a bad mofo with that hair, but he manages.
posted by cobra! at 10:50 AM on November 21
At first, yeah. After posting, I parsed out that 66-67 was probably some year-of-service reference. Whatever it is, it's not very convincing on the matter of Clinton's or Bush's draft positions, neither of which are very convincing in the case of Vlade Divac.
posted by cobra! at 04:25 PM on November 17
Sure. Dewey, look around 808.5. If you're an LOC type, you want the P302.Ys.
posted by cobra! at 01:24 PM on November 17
(USMC - 0331 - 66-67) Ah, yes. There are few rhetorical devices more devastating than the serial number. (I learned that at the Minneapolis Public Library-- 2-2088-00692-9499)
posted by cobra! at 09:25 AM on November 17
Does anyone else think the spectator should remain just that? What if Spectator were to become The Spectre? It would be terrifying and random, and he could beat the shit out of deserving criminals.
posted by cobra! at 01:52 PM on November 11
As for the stadium issue, I dunno if there is one with the Vikings. If someone tries to appeal for public money for a Vikings stadium on the grounds that they're wonderful upstanding citizens, I say let's burn that bridge when we come to it. That's actually the thing that makes Orgy 2005 interesting; the Vikes have been trying to wrangle a stadium out of the state for years, and Wylf's recent purchase of the team seemed to give them a little bit of momentum (there wasn't a lot of public excitement about helping Red McCombs out). When the orgy story broke, it scuttled any chance of a Vikings stadium in the near future, and probably delayed (if not killed) a Twins stadium as well. So wherever you stand on the morality of what went down on the boat (and on the ethics of publicly-financed stadiums), everyone involved in the cruise showed spectacularly poor business sense by not thinking about what exposure would do to their own bottom line.
posted by cobra! at 11:17 AM on November 08
I wonder if the Nebraska football program will ever be great again. Like, for a long time, they had a reasonably easy time recruiting because a kid could at the very least count on playing for a top-10 team, and quite possibly contending for the title. Without that, why would a top prospect want to go to Lincoln? Callahan's just the latest stage of a disease that started when Tom Osborne left.
posted by cobra! at 03:05 PM on November 01
This hits right at the weird state of pro sports teams-- they're private businesses (except maybe for the Packers), but they're sort of halfway considered civic assets. Usually, the owners make out like bandits on this formula... when it's time to improve the infrastructure, the team's a vital part of the city, but the team's cashflow is treated like a textile manufacturer. Since the owners are usually the ones with the huige advantage, I have trouble feeling too bad for Benson here.
posted by cobra! at 09:33 AM on October 31
Nike Confiscates Tapes of Jordan Crawford Dunking on LeBron James
I first read this as LeBron being dunked on by Joan Crawford and god damn, I wanted to see that video.