Recent Comments by Joey Michaels

New Zealand Wins Nude Rugby Match Over England

There's that whole sequence in The Incredibles where you learn why a superhero shouldn't wear a cape. I kept thinking about something like that while watching the video and cringing.

posted by Joey Michaels at 10:27 PM on June 19

USPTO Cancels Redskins Trademarks

Yeah, I would cheer for The Americans with no changes.

posted by Joey Michaels at 08:55 PM on June 19

Don Zimmer was truly a baseball man

I remember vividly having a Don Zimmer baseball card as a kid in the 70's and thinking "wow, you can be pretty old and still play baseball."

The concept of manager didn't really register with me until a few years later.

Anyhow, one of Baseball's icons. How wonderful to get to spend your whole life doing what you love. Well done, sir, well done.

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:43 PM on June 05

Yankees' Pineda Ejected for Pine Tar on Neck

I have no problem with him using pine tar even if its against the rules, but after the last time you'd think he'd be a little more careful about it. He deserves to be caught in this case.

I mean, yes yes, they always deserve to be caught if they're breaking the rules, but when they're lazy about it, they earn the ejection.

posted by Joey Michaels at 10:23 PM on April 23

Secret Service Once Threatened to Kill Mr. Met

Well, I mean, to be fair, who hasn't threatened to kill Mr. Met?

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:39 PM on April 17

Was Michael Pineda caught cheating

Agreed with yerfatma's agreement with Leitch. The only one making a big deal out of this is the media.

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:03 PM on April 11

UConn Wins National Championship

My fellow SpoFi members, since the turn of the century, my favorite teams have been doing very, very well. The Red Sox, the Patriots and the UConn men and (just now) women have won their championships several times each. I am never, ever allowed to complain about how any of my teams are doing again. I will, but I'm not allowed to do it and deserve whatever shit I get when I do.

Link me here the next time I whine.

posted by Joey Michaels at 10:52 PM on April 08

UConn Wins National Championship

That sounds like the kind of UCONN fan I know.

posted by Joey Michaels at 01:27 PM on April 08

UConn Wins National Championship

I'm a UConn basketball fan (father and brother are alumni and my college had no div 1 team) and we're all pretty thrilled and stunned. After the near loss to St. Josephs in the first round, I was just happy to see them make it to the sweet sixteen... And then the elite eight... And then... Well suffice to say they busted my Bracket in the best possible way. Just thrilled.

posted by Joey Michaels at 03:31 AM on April 08

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

While I humbly admit that both teams could lose in the finals, as a fan of University of Connecticut basketball, this was an excellent year. Hurray!

As somebody who picked completely different teams to advance in almost every NCAAM round and, thus, didn't win my local pool, this was a dreadful year. I didn't even do poorly enough to win the "most wrong" prize. Bah,

posted by Joey Michaels at 05:58 AM on April 07

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

I'll be curious to see if anyone I know has a Brackett that survived to the final four, much less the National championship.

posted by Joey Michaels at 11:22 PM on April 05

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Wow, go UConn. What a totally unexpected run they've had this month.

posted by Joey Michaels at 09:50 PM on April 05

LPGA players frustrated by Golf Digest cover of Gretzky

Though if you're a male golfer, you don't have to look hot to be on the cover. Just successful.

posted by Joey Michaels at 03:55 PM on April 04

Some Indians Fans Are De-Chiefing Their Gear

Cleveland has such an obvious alternate team name that is so much more awesome than The Indians that I can't believe they don't just embrace it and sell out of all of their new gear immediately.

I'm just saying, change your name to The Cleveland Rocks and everyone will think you guys are the best forever.

posted by Joey Michaels at 05:54 PM on April 03

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Bunyan is what we around here call "Fakelore." From the Wikipedia entry:

Much of the Paul Bunyan legend, and specifically the idea of Bunyan as a giant lumberjack with a giant blue ox sidekick, was created in the 20th century for an advertising campaign. Although it is claimed in some sources that "there is no documentary evidence of any Paul Bunyan story being told before James MacGillivray's story 'The Round River Drive,' published in 1910," MacGillivray had published some stories in the Oscoda, Michigan, Press on August 10, 1906, and Governor of Michigan Jennifer M. Granholm proclaimed the centennial of that date as "Paul Bunyan Day".

MacGillivray's story does not suggest that Paul Bunyan was a giant and contains no mention of a blue ox companion. But J.E. Rockwell had written about lumberjack tales of Paul Bunyan, and mentioned the (unnamed) blue ox in the February 1910 issue of the magazine The Outer's Book. According to one tale noted by Rockwell, Bunyan was "eight feet tall and weighed 300 pounds." Historian Carleton C. Ames (whose son Aldrich Ames would later become a notorious spy) claimed in a 1940 article that Paul Bunyan was a 20th-century invention rather than a 19th-century lumber camp folk hero. William Laughead, an advertising copywriter who had once worked in lumber camps, took the stories of an old lumberjack and reworked them into the modern character. He sold his character to the Red River Lumber Company, which published "Introducing Mr. Paul Bunyan of Westwood, California" in 1916 as an advertising pamphlet. Among other things, Laughead gave the name "Babe" to the blue ox, originated the idea that Paul Bunyan and Babe were of enormous size, and created the first pictorial representation of Bunyan. Authors Richard Dorson and Marshall Fitwick cite Paul Bunyan as an example of "fakelore", or a modern story passed off as an older folktale.

So it would make just as much sense for them to use the Brawny dude or the Marlboro Man as a mascot.

posted by Joey Michaels at 02:44 PM on March 14

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

US Advances to Women's Hockey Hey, Get The Fuck Back Here.

posted by Joey Michaels at 08:32 PM on February 18

Derek Jeter to Retire From Yankees After 2014 Season

I'm working on a joke where Greg Maddux is The Joker to Derek Jetter's Batman but it might take a while.

posted by Joey Michaels at 05:47 AM on February 13

Derek Jeter to Retire From Yankees After 2014 Season

Hate the Yankees, love Jeter. Its been a conundrum for years. I felt the same way about Joe Torre. The Yankees are going to need to find a new "classiest dude in baseball" so I can continue this internal struggle for another decade.

posted by Joey Michaels at 04:17 PM on February 12

St. Louis Rams Owner Buys Land in Los Angeles

Basically Kroenke is this guy.

posted by Joey Michaels at 07:59 PM on February 06

St. Louis Rams Owner Buys Land in Los Angeles

Here's hoping St. Louis collectively says "Fuck that guy - let him move to L.A."

posted by Joey Michaels at 07:57 PM on February 06

Seattle Wins Super Bowl 0x30

My friend who was melting down over the Broncos managed to get himself kicked out of a college class by picking a verbal Superbowl related fight that quickly escalated to terroristic threatening of his professor. Amazing.

I love my teams, but I don't know that I've ever gotten so upset with them that I've yelled at other people about it.

posted by Joey Michaels at 09:01 PM on February 05

Seattle Wins Super Bowl 0x30

I thought Joe Namath looked more like an old-timey 1910's college freshman. Get that man a cone that says "state" on the side for him to shout into and he's ready for the 1918 Rose Bowl.

posted by Joey Michaels at 08:10 PM on February 03

Seattle Wins Super Bowl 0x30

Continuing the saga of my crushed friend - he's taken to referring to them as the Cheathawks, insisting they all use PEDs and demanding jail time for "that thug" Richard Sherman.

I've been reading a ton of stuff about the Superbowl and the Seahawks this week and I'm not finding anything that supports the idea that they've been cheats. Am I missing something or is this just the sourest of grapes?

posted by Joey Michaels at 05:05 PM on February 03

Seattle Wins Super Bowl 0x30

Ask him what he thought of the Coke commercial.

He is offended that patriotism and multiculturalism were used as tools to sell corn-syrup. All right, maybe he's only partially around the bend.

posted by Joey Michaels at 03:33 PM on February 03

Seattle Wins Super Bowl 0x30

I've been witnessing a Broncos fan friend of mine go through what I can only term an epic Facebook flame out over the loss. He went from being furious at Peyton, to the whole team, to the city of Denver, to the state of Colorado, to the NFL, to all sports, and is now hoping all of his happily married friends get divorced so he doesn't have to see updates about happy couples, babies and love. In that same recent update, he's talking about quitting Facebook forever because its brought him nothing but pain and anguish ("like being a Denver fan") and is arguing that people getting married leads both to the loss of their ability to dream and, specifically, the inability of the Broncos to win yesterday.

Yes, I've already sent him a message suggesting he take a break from Facebook and, perhaps, seek some sort of therapy.

posted by Joey Michaels at 02:19 PM on February 03

Seattle Wins Super Bowl 0x30

Karl Rove is on FOX saying that the Broncos can still win.

posted by Joey Michaels at 05:04 AM on February 03

Seattle Wins Super Bowl 0x30

The Curse of the Bam-Tebow.

posted by Joey Michaels at 09:01 PM on February 02

Broncos Overwhelm Patriots

I didn't think the Pats would get this far. Its funny, the Pats fan areas online that I frequent had a congratulatory air even after the loss - most of the chatter seemed to be "wow, great job getting as far a you did, guys."

Don't get me wrong, I was disappointed they lost, but I also felt like they lost to the better team. That salves the pain a bit.

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:49 PM on January 21

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

A-Rod's lawyer hints at Ortiz' PED use

Every time I start to sympathize with A-Rod even a little, shit like this happens and makes me feel like an asshole for sympathizing with him.

That said, despite my eternal dislike for the guy and belief that he probably did use PEDs, I still think he was railroaded by MLB. Fuck MLB for making me side with A-Rod on anything.

posted by Joey Michaels at 02:59 PM on January 15

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Yeah, the figure skating thing has been blowing up on my FB feed for a week. Total BS that Nagasu wasn't selected here.

posted by Joey Michaels at 08:23 PM on January 14

Patriots Run Over Colts

I am more and more of the belief that Belichick and Brady could win games with a team held together by spit and rubber bands.

posted by Joey Michaels at 01:38 AM on January 12

Hall of Fame Admits Maddux, Glavine, Frank Thomas

Maddux receives 555 votes... just 111 votes off from... well, you can add.

111, of course, being the documented number of victims.

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:57 PM on January 08

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Good for Gurnick. We all know the only reason that most HOF voters are making Maddux a first ballot pick is because they know what will happen to them if they don't.

posted by Joey Michaels at 03:02 PM on January 07

Three managers unanimously elected to Baseball Hall of Fame

Olbermann: We Need A New Hall of Fame

posted by Joey Michaels at 04:21 PM on December 11

New England Overcomes 24-Point Deficit to Beat Denver

I've been down on the Patriots all season (as a fan) because I thought their record misleads you into thinking they're a stronger team than they actually are. Watching the first half of the game tonight, I was thinking "Well, see, I was right all along."

And then the second half happened and I said "OK, I have been pretty much completely wrong."

I wouldn't go so far as to say that they're the best team in the AFC, but they're damn better than I thought and they deserve to be first in the east. They might even win a playoff game or two.

posted by Joey Michaels at 05:01 AM on November 25

ROB GRONKOWSKI Mocks Asian Fan WHERE'S THE FRIED RICE?

Ah, love Gronkowski as a player, but, today, fuck that guy.

posted by Joey Michaels at 08:40 PM on November 15

Atlanta Braves plan to build new stadium in Cobb County

Even now, I much prefer a team that plays in the city.

Walking through Chicago for the first time and running into Wrigley Field while just taking a wrong turn up a street is one of my most romantic baseball memories. I literally gasped with joy and wonder.

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:09 PM on November 13

Incognito and Martin: An Insiderís Story

I can't speak for all states, but in my state we have hostile work environment laws that, in practice, can work in the following way.

Say a pair of like-minded people are sitting around making off-color jokes. A third person, who is not part of that conversation, overhears them. Now, the intent of the two people making the jokes might have just been to push each other's buttons or to amuse each other with how far they'd take some of the jokes. That intent doesn't matter at all if the third party takes offense to it. To whit, the intent of the speaker doesn't matter as much as the effect it has on the hearer.

The bigger issue is that if the third party reports this to the employer and no action is taken to address their concern, the third party has grounds for a lawsuit.

Also, once its been brought to somebody's attention that their behavior is making somebody else feel harassed on the job, the next time they do it, they're making a deliberate choice to ignore to do something that makes somebody feel harassed.

All of this business of the culture of the football locker room is besides the point - if the language or behavioral choices of the player are causing somebody employed by the team - be they player, staff, janitor, whomever - to feel like their workplace is hostile and that person bring it to the attention of management and nothing is done about it, they may be risking a lawsuit that they're very likely to lose.

It would, thus, be in the interest of the NFL and each of its teams to have some sort of basic workplace conduct training. Locker rooms are workplaces and, thus, are subject to workplace laws. Whether one agrees with the laws or not is immaterial to whether one is subject to those laws. (IANAL obviously)

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:56 PM on November 07

Dolphins Suspend Incognito For Bullying, Intimidation Towards Miller

Heh. I was unaware of his time with the Rams. Yeah, if he's an average NFL player at best, who needs him?

Well, maybe Tampa Bay.

posted by Joey Michaels at 06:38 PM on November 04

Dolphins Suspend Incognito For Bullying, Intimidation Towards Miller

Assuming the allegations are true (and its hard to believe that they're false), one hopes this will be a wake up moment for Incognito and for any other players engaging in this sort of behavior. You shouldn't behave in a way that would have gotten you expelled from middle school as a grown adult.

That said, I can understand the Dolphins not wanting to keep him after this season. I hope that he does get some counseling (some of the reports mention he's already had some anger management counseling over the years) and can continue to play, hopefully as a more humane teammate and a better person.

posted by Joey Michaels at 05:16 PM on November 04

Red Sox win the World Series.

But other than the white towels the fans wave at home I have a hard time finding something I don't like about the Cardinals

That's the thing about the Cardinals - Deadspin was doing their darndest to make them out to be monsters, but it comes across as comedy because the team is both talented and classy. I felt genuinely bad for them that they lost (and even though I would have been sorely disappointed, I would have been glad for them had they won).

In my Red Sox vs every-team-that-isn't-the-Red-Sox universe, the Cardinals may well be my favorite NL team. Basically, this was my ideal World Series for this particular decade.

posted by Joey Michaels at 07:17 PM on October 31

Red Sox win the World Series.

When they won in 2004, my grandfather (a lifelong Boston fan who'd literally waited his whole life to see them win) went ballistic with joy. He's gone now, but I wept a few happy tears tonight on his behalf because he would have been thrilled to see them win it at Fenway. Boston Strong indeed.

Also, the first five games of this series were weird and hard-fought. The Cardinals are a great team and could have won this. Hats off to their team and their fans - they're a pretty classy bunch.

Still, thrilled Boston won.

posted by Joey Michaels at 12:26 AM on October 31

Red Sox Win Game 5, Go Home to Fenway

Big Papi 3 for 4 tonight. What an amazing series this had been for him.

posted by Joey Michaels at 02:44 AM on October 29

Red Sox Even World Series at 2

I would like to Mention an unusual end game scenario my friend proposed that I call The Spaceman's Revenge: last out is a strike-out on three straight eephus pitches.

posted by Joey Michaels at 01:17 PM on October 28

Red Sox Take Game 1 Over Cards

if you're a Sox fan like me, this series has started off very well, and I don't think the Sox are facing anywhere the same level of pitching as they just squeaked by last week.

Oh, yes, this I agree with 100%.

posted by Joey Michaels at 07:50 PM on October 24

Red Sox Take Game 1 Over Cards

Red Sox fans (and players) know very, very well that the direction a series is going can change completely in one game (or one inning... or even one at-bat). People counting their chickens before they hatch right now are not choosing wisely.

posted by Joey Michaels at 04:49 PM on October 24

Jets Told Refs to Look for Patriots' Push

As a Patriots fan, I don't have an issue with the rule enforcement or the Jets trying to use rules to their advantage to win the game. If the Patriots had controlled the game like they should have, it would have been a non-issue.

The Patriots have gotten lucky this season, and I love to see them win, but they're not nearly as strong a team as their record suggests. No doubt Brady and Belochik will squeeze out a few more improbable victories this season and they'll probably even make it to the playoffs, but I have a hard time seeing them even winning a playoff game this year.

Prove me wrong, Patriots! I'll be cheering for you either way!

posted by Joey Michaels at 05:38 PM on October 22

A laughing stock no more

The Pirates and Cubs have both been high on my list of teams to love when Boston isn't doing so hot, so, yeah, I was rooting for them, too.

Nothing against the Cardinals, though. They seem to be a decent bunch of players and a fine team.

posted by Joey Michaels at 05:59 PM on October 10

A laughing stock no more

If you are going by historical and more recent sustained excellence and being a regular face in the post-season (at least in the divisional era), then yeah.

...In which case, ironically perhaps, the Red Sox are the Yankees of the American league.

posted by Joey Michaels at 04:28 PM on October 10

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Ed Hochuli might qualify as "national treasure" by my definition.

posted by Joey Michaels at 10:14 PM on October 09

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Onion: Washington Redskins Change Their Name to D.C. Redskins

posted by Joey Michaels at 03:36 PM on October 09

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

What a fascinating player! Thank you for the links, Howard_T.

posted by Joey Michaels at 07:00 PM on October 02

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Jeez, watching Peyton Manning play this year is like watching an artist create a masterpiece.

posted by Joey Michaels at 10:02 PM on September 23

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

For the first time ever, I want something from the city of Pittsburgh:

New England fired Hernandez as soon as it was clear he was probably guilty. Should Steelers fans really be playing the "whose players are bigger criminals" game?

Get your t-shirt from Houston if they have one - they're still (I believe) the cleanest team in the NFL.

posted by Joey Michaels at 08:48 PM on September 03

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Hey GrampaB! Welcome to Sportsfilter. I think you meant to post that comment here. Chances are, your comment (and this reply) will be moved to that thread soon.

We've had a regular discussion here about the Washington Football Team's nickname for several years. Since you're new, I won't respond with the traditional SpoFi level of snark.

The "PC gone amuck" argument regarding the name of the Washington Football Team has popped up before. I'll come back to that part in a minute, but I want to address the second part of your statement first:

The next thing will be the garment industry will be offended by the "RED SOX" or WHITE SOX. Then PETA will throw in their 2 cents about the "TIGERS, LIONS & BEARS Oh my! It's only a name. GET AHOLD OF YOURSEL & GET A LIFE!!
None of those team mascots are a racial slur. If you use the "could I get punched for saying it" test, you could yell any of those things at a garment maker or a PETA supporter and they wouldn't have any reason to get upset. If you yelled the name of the Washington football team's name at a person who was Native American, you should not be surprised if you got a punch to the jaw for saying it.

We make choices regarding what words we use and what we name products all the time based on whether they are appropriate or not. You'll note that there aren't any professional sports teams with names like The Duluth Bad Mother Fuckers or The Brisbane Pee-holes. We also don't give new teams and products names that are racially offensive - you can probably think of hundreds of racial slurs that would make lousy team names.

Furthermore, as a society, we've often seen offensive product names or designs changed to suit the changing beliefs of the times. Indeed, many teams have changed their names over the years for a wide variety of reasons of perceive offense - I'd point to the Washington Bullets changed their name to the Wizards.

So, the name of the Washington Football team is a word that is patently offensive to many people of native American descent. We wouldn't pick a racially charged name for a team in this century. Another Washington team has changed its name quite easily within living memory.

Regarding the idea of "PC run amuck," presumably you aren't somebody who strongly believes that walking up to people of various ethnic groups and shouting ethnic slurs at them would be a polite thing to do. Surely you, as a grandfather (I'm assuming from your user name), raised your children and grandchildren to be respectful of people of all ethnic backgrounds - just as you would ask for people to respect your ethnic background. This is not a "PC" issue - its an issue of basic human respect and dignity.

Anyhow, welcome to Sportsfilter.

posted by Joey Michaels at 07:39 PM on August 09

Cowboys Stadium Renamed AT&T Stadium

because this guarantees that their coverage is going to suck.

Nominee, Best Comment of All Time at Spofi.

posted by Joey Michaels at 08:19 PM on July 26

Whitlock: Gangster Culture Has Corrupted Sports

Yeah, man, mob based gambling totally wrecked the Chicago White Sox back in the 10's.

posted by Joey Michaels at 10:11 PM on July 02

Four new, not-racist names for Washington D.C.'s football team

They should become the Washington Redcoats and cultivate a rivalry with the Patriots.

... or take a tip Montreal's hockey team and call themselves the Washington Americans.

posted by Joey Michaels at 07:44 PM on June 14

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Well played, sir.

posted by Joey Michaels at 09:33 PM on June 10

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Etrigan, I am always a little disappointed when your comments don't rhyme. ;)

posted by Joey Michaels at 08:38 PM on June 10