I couldn't watch that the whole way through because the tears of laughter quite literally became too much to see through. Will return to it later and save it for when I need a pick-me-up. Hopefully, YouTube will never improve their tech support for their auto-translate feature.
posted by Joey Michaels at 02:39 PM on May 03
I am still angry that Monica Seles' attacker more or less seemed to get away with it.
posted by Joey Michaels at 06:08 PM on April 30
He doesn't have the personnel evaluation skills to build an team. It's a shame he doesn't find some other part of his empire to ruin for a while.
This is actually exactly how incompetence works. The same skills you need to be good at something are the same skills you need in order to judge if somebody else is good at that thing. Jones is a good businessman and the boss of the Cowboys so he figures he must be good at football as he is at business and nobody can tell him otherwise. So, he sucks at football, he can't tell he sucks at football, and yet he believes he's good at football and is surrounded by sycophants that tell him he's good at football. Its a cycle only death can break.
posted by Joey Michaels at 09:58 PM on April 26
Just came here to share that same link. It is, indeed, the coolest baseball gif of all time.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:36 PM on April 25
An example of Metafilter doing sports well, in reference to Segura.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:25 AM on April 21
Fowl Ball Catching: God Level.
posted by Joey Michaels at 08:56 PM on April 11
This is ludicrous. Goats don't even like baseball. They prefer parkour.
Though they make great hecklers too.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:09 PM on April 11
No, it will only be fucking hilarious if thousands of innocent people in South Korea are destroyed and the US finds themselves involved in another conflict it can't afford to be in.
For what its worth, this would be a huge tactical mistake for N. Korea just based on how many Chinese nationals are in S. Korea. I can't imagine China would watch thousands of their citizens get murdered without some sort of swift and horrible retribution. Just out of enlightened self-interest, N. Korea should probably avoid invoking the wrath of their enormous neighbor.
I'm living out here in Hawaii and, if N. Korea has nukes, surely they are trained directly on me. The reason we don't worry about that out here is because N. Korea has demonstrated, time and again, that they are not serious about following through on their threats. It would be national suicide for them to attack S. Korea, Honolulu, Austin or especially Foxboro because, very frankly, the bombs that Tom Brady throws are infinitely more powerful than the bombs N. Korea possesses.
posted by Joey Michaels at 08:49 PM on April 05
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you The American Athletic Conference.
posted by Joey Michaels at 07:16 PM on April 03
Presumably the uproar isn't what got him fired so much as the whole physical and verbal abuse thing? I mean, on paper at least.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:05 PM on April 03
So it was a bad landing combined with forward momentum. Holy cats. I am stunned that a human can leap with more force than his bones can handle. I suspect this is something that somebody who wasn't in peak athletic shape would have to ever worry about. Amazing. Thank you for the analysis!
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:50 PM on April 01
Reading the description of Mr. Ware's injury makes me cringe. I don't think there is anything that would make me watch the video. Can anyone explain how this injury was possible? Just a bad landing or a combined twist and landing? It reads like a freak accident.
Best thought to this unfortunate young man and sincere hope that he beats the odds and recovers 100%.
posted by Joey Michaels at 01:26 PM on April 01
We all laugh at this, but if somebody had asked Greg Maddux how he felt about girls (or just people in general) before he joined MLB, think of how many lives would have been spared.
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:09 PM on March 01
Obligatory link to facts about McDonalds Coffee Case. Obligatory statement about know the facts. That's all I got.
That obligation out of the way, there are lawsuits that sound frivolous and lawsuits that actually are frivolous and sometimes those two sets of lawsuits overlap. I will be very curious to see what the court system does with this case. Based on what I've read in the articles (which may or may not be 100% accurate), it seems pretty clear that this event falls under the "damn shame that it happened, but not really anybody's fault" category.
posted by Joey Michaels at 02:11 PM on March 01
Well said, Hugh. Proving once again that Washington fans are pretty classy, even if the team owner is not.
posted by Joey Michaels at 02:02 AM on February 16
I think any sport where an Olympic gold is considered the pinnacle achievement in that sport should stay right where it is.
Oh, holy cats, that is exactly it on the head. That's the best way I've heard this stated, but you're absolutely right.
posted by Joey Michaels at 06:45 PM on February 12
Times change, the popularity of events waxes and wanes, but, come on, olympic wrestling is on vases that are like more than two millennium old. There's a reason the sport has lasted as long as it has and that's because its kind of the quintessential perfect competition between two people. Nothing is required except a pair of people and the ground.
I mean, I'm glad that pankration and chariot racing aren't current events, but most of the other classic events survive in some form to this day because they're elemental. I'm not saying their better or worse than, say, gymnastics or basketball, but they (including wrestling) are essential elements of athletics.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:19 PM on February 12
So my mythical wing of the baseball HoF that would house exhibits on outstanding baseball players who happened to be total assholes was going to be called the "Ty Cobb Wing."
Who would we name the football HoF asshole wing after? Simpson?
If Flacco continues to play well (I wouldn't say he's elite yet, but he has the potential to get there), maybe that wing is where he'd end up.
Don't ask me what kind of player gets into the Greg Maddux wing of the HoF, but I will tell you that only 1 out of 3 fans lives to describe it.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:28 PM on February 08
The happier news for us is that after our old kitties died, we got involved with a program that fosters kitties for other families. Within six months, we'd adopted three and weren't allowed to be foster parents anymore. We have three lovely adult cats now - one of whom will very patiently sit with me while I watch football.
Yeah, they don't replace the old cats, but love is not a finite thing.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:21 PM on February 08
They shouldn't have encouraged him to take PED's (if they did) and Cowherd also shouldn't have encouraged him to open his mouth in public again (which he did).
Schilling gets to got to the new Ty Cobb wing of the HoF, reserved for great players who absolutely deserve to be there for their game play, but who are total assholes.
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:31 PM on February 07
I lost both of my old cats this past year - an 18 year old and a 19 year old. Never cried so much in my life. Among the songs that wreck me when I hear them now is "Landslide." So, yeah, story of loving an animal + "Landslide" pretty much ruins me for the rest of the day.
posted by Joey Michaels at 02:41 PM on February 06
I don't mind Randy Moss being in the conversation for greatest receiver ever, provided the conversation is "Randy Moss is not the greatest received ever."
posted by Joey Michaels at 07:39 PM on January 30
"I never thought I'd admit that I believed a letter in Penthouse Forum was true and then admit to it in public, but..."
posted by Joey Michaels at 09:08 PM on January 18
FWIW, Bleacher Report's coverage of that Barkley moment.
posted by Joey Michaels at 09:08 PM on January 11
That is a sex act. I would describe it in detail, but this is a family website.
posted by Joey Michaels at 07:23 PM on January 09
Heh. The Dallas Stars owned that exchange so hard.
posted by Joey Michaels at 07:22 PM on January 09
You would think that the R*****s would have a great field. They hired an expert groundskeeper from a local golf course.
posted by Joey Michaels at 06:11 PM on January 09
I'm just going to make the joke about referring to Notre Dame as Deacon Blues right here,
posted by Joey Michaels at 09:53 PM on January 07
Brown is classless. That he did this at all shows that he is a lousy human being. That he would brag about it shows that he is also a stupid and cruel human being.
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:40 PM on December 27
...the temporary delay with the Mayan Apocalypse
Temporary delay? Halve fuse stream ashore pre-nup tend I asleep for curdle haste intone "hey!" Clairice toupee one ton for Kev key bicycle shaft.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:51 PM on December 22
rcade wins for comment of the year.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:19 PM on December 20
If so, I'd like to nominate the following videos for "Sports Videos of the Year".
"One of these things is not like the other..."
posted by Joey Michaels at 09:21 PM on December 13
Hunh, well, maybe this isn't the 2012 Texans tonight. Who knew?
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:08 PM on December 10
As I write this, the Patriots are up over the Texans 21-0 in the second quarter. If the Texans come back and win this (and let's be frank, the Texans could totally come back and win this - this is the 2012 Texans we're talking about) then I'd like to kindly ask the sports media to shut up about the Patriots running up the score for a while.
Besides, Seattle holds this season's running up the score record.
posted by Joey Michaels at 09:52 PM on December 10
Oh God, Ass Cheese, I just realized.
posted by Joey Michaels at 07:37 PM on December 10
Maybe there's something wrong with me, but every comment so far (except mine) has made me chortle uncontrollably. You people are gold. Gold like fine donkey cheese.
I think this might be the greatest entry in SpoFi history. Close up the site, folks. We're not going to be able to top this.
Hyperbole? Yes. Sarcasm? No.
posted by Joey Michaels at 04:31 PM on December 10
In regards to running up the score, every team in the AFC East should really remember The Comeback and remember that 28 points can be erased in a single quarter. Indeed, the Jets learned that the score can change by 21 points in under two minutes.
So, yeah, its unlikely that a team is going to come back and wipe you out if you have a big enough lead, but you should never assume that they won't. Also, everything that hicandenza said about running up the score.
In regards to gloating about a player's injury or feeling like it was somehow justice, that is bullshit regardless of the team or the player. I strongly dislike Tony Romo and The Cowboys, but I want nothing but health and long lives for them. Indeed, its more fun to see them beaten when they lose at full strength than otherwise. Its sick to derive pleasure from seeing a player injured.
Edit: and I just read about the tragedy that befell the Cowboys this weekend. That is awful and I feel terrible for the families, teammates and friends of the players involved. Wouldn't have made the comment if I'd read it first, but don't feel its right to delete it once I've posted it.
And as for Tony McDaniel, that's just silly.
posted by Joey Michaels at 04:01 AM on December 09
Have we linked the Princess Bride episode of ESPN NFL Kickoff here yet?
posted by Joey Michaels at 04:46 PM on November 14
Most Career Coverage At ESPN: Tim Tebow
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:47 PM on November 13
Every fan of Family Guy can tell you that there is already a London team.
posted by Joey Michaels at 04:26 PM on November 02
Congratulations to San Francisco's players, coaches, staff and most importantly (for SpoFi) fans.
Hated to see the Tigers lose it, but the Giants absolutely deserved the win.
posted by Joey Michaels at 08:29 PM on October 29
Apparently, Honey Badger really doesn't give a shit.
posted by Joey Michaels at 04:51 PM on October 27
Maddux's comment on New York's recent cannibal cop arrest: "pfft. Amateur."
posted by Joey Michaels at 04:50 PM on October 27
I hope this hasn't been posted already, but high school lad kicks 67 yard field goal to tie game.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:54 PM on October 19
I'm still too disgusted with the last two Red Sox seasons to take my usual cruel joy at seeing the Yankees eliminated, but not too disgusted to congratulate Detroit and their fans. I will be chearing for you guys in the World Series. I feel like Detroit deserves it.
posted by Joey Michaels at 04:25 AM on October 19
Swish should take a lesson from A-Rod on how to get past all the booing and negative comments.
I'm just going to assume that that link leads a story about how one should have an affair with Madonna.
Edit: So close, so close.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:04 PM on October 16
That is a shitty thing to see happen to any player. Jeter is a class act (wish he'd player for Boston instead of NY) and I wish him a speedy recovery.
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:22 AM on October 15
You know, if they don't get the real refs back, we fans should really consider a one day boycott. Money seems to be the only thing they listen to and as long as we're watching, they're making it. Indeed, the owners are arguably the only ones not suffering.
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:28 AM on September 25
I don't think Kluwe is going to change that particular congresscritter's mind, but I do think its a positive thing when NFL players come out in support of civil rights.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:52 PM on September 07
While I dislike Big Ben pretty completely, I admire this sentiment and am glad he expressed it. I will probably never say anything like this again, but here's to you, Big Ben, for having your priorities straight in at least one regard.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:50 PM on September 07
Just to clarify, I phrased something poorly there. By "This One" I was referring to "the first game the lad in the story saw was the very game we're discussing in this thread." Reading it now, I think it might have come across as "ME! I WAS THAT FATHER AND KID," which isn't the case at all. I just liked the story.
That said, I agree that Slarty Bartfast (the pseudonym of the dude who shared that story) is not only obligated to tell that story to everyone forever, when his son has a three year old and takes him to his first game, he's obligated to tell us all so we can go watch the inevitable no-hitter.
posted by Joey Michaels at 02:39 PM on August 17
I strongly encourage you all to read this fabulous story about a three year old's first baseball game. This one, to be specific.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:31 AM on August 17
I've always sort of figured that, after winning two world series, management thought the chivalrous thing to do would be to wait until the Cubs, Indians, Rangers, Astros, Brewers, Nationals, Padres and Mariners each won one. With that in mind, as a Boston fan, I say "go Nationals."
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:48 AM on August 15
FIFA is now investigating the Canadian Women's post-game actions in response to the referee's calls.
Bullshit to that. This is like punishing them twice. Once by making the bad calls and a second time for criticizing the bad calls. Criticizing bad calls isn't the same as bad sportsmanship.
posted by Joey Michaels at 07:44 PM on August 07
Not sports, but in response to JJ's link, lighten up, Morrisey.
posted by Joey Michaels at 07:10 PM on August 07
This got me thinking; I wonder if teams in (for example) the NFL playoffs feel better if they were eliminated earlier. For example, was it harder to be on the Patriots last year or The Lions at season's end?
posted by Joey Michaels at 08:20 PM on August 03
Its really worth reading that whole Lebron screenshot that NoMich posted. Comedy. Gold.
posted by Joey Michaels at 06:37 PM on July 25
After sleeping on it, I like the voided victories a little better. It still offends my sense of logic, but hopefully it will send a message to any coach who values his reputation over actual people when a crime has been committed that that won't be tolerated.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:36 PM on July 24
I might just be letting my statistics-wonk-side affect my judgement here vis a vis the victories. It feels a little bit like the NCAA saying "and also, we're going to say that the temperature for the last ten years was 62 degrees everywhere."
I mean, the NCAA can say it, they can even change the books, but the wins were still wins. They'll still be mentioned in the annals of NCAA history, albeit with phrases like "had Penn State not sheltered a child rapist, their record would be..." or in trivia contests ("Which NCAA coach held the record for most wins before it was stripped from he because his program protected a pedophile").
Anyhow, even this (illogical to me) punishment is warranted and I was glad to see the NCAA enforce some serious consequences.
posted by Joey Michaels at 09:46 PM on July 23
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